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60 And Sciences doe not directlier make
A Graduate in our Vniversities;
Some call a formall, flat servility. 65 Bia. Sir you may call it what you please. But wee
(That tread the path of publike businesses) Know what a tacit shrug is, or a shrinke; The wearing the Callott; the politique hood :
And twenty other parerga, o' the by, 70 You Seculars understand not: I shall trick him, If his reversion came, i' my Lords way.
Dia. What is that Mr. Practise ? you sure know? Mas' Compaljes reversion? Pra. A fine place
(Surveyor of the Projects generall) 75 I would I had it. Pal. What is't worth? Pra.
O Sir, A Nemo (cit. Lad. Wee'l thinke on't afore dinner.
Poy. Now, Gentlemen, what censure you of our ProD talis, or first Act ?
Pro. Well, Boy, it is a faire Presentment of your Actors. And a handsome promise of somewhat to come s hereafter.
Dam. But, there is nothing done in it, or concluded: Therefore I say, no Act.
Boy. A fine peice of Logick! Doe you looke, Mr. Damplay, for conclusions in a Protelis? I thought the 10 Law of Comedy had resery'd to the Catastrophe : and that the Epitasis, (as wee are taught) and the Catastasis, had beene interveening parts, to have beene expected. But you would have all come together it seemes : The Clock should strike five, at once, with the Acts.
71 came] come 1692, f. 76 (Exeunt. G om. G
8 Protesis ?] Protasis 1692, f reserved [them] G
Chorus] 8, 9 reserv'd] 23, 24 matry ... Countrey ;) marry an Emperours Daughter for his Mrs. Convert her Father's Countrey; Y. 1640. marry an emperor's daughter for his mistress : convert her father's country; W, f
Dam. Why, if it could doe so, it were well, Boy. 25
Boy. Yes, if the nature of a Clock were to speake, not strike. So, if a Child could be borne, in a Play, and grow up to a man, i' the first Scene, before he went off the Stage : and then after to come forth a Squire, and bee made a Knight: and that Knight to travell betweene 20 the Acts, and doe wonders i' the holy land or else where ; kill Paynims wild Boores, dun Cowes, and other Monsters; beget him a reputation, and marry an Emperours Daughter : for his Mrs. Convert her Fathers Countrey ; and at last come home, lame and all to be laden with 25 miracles.
Dam. These miracles would please, I assure you : and take the People! For there be of the People, that will expect miracles, and more then miracles from this Pen.
Boy. Doe they thinke this Pen can juggle? I would we had Hokospokos for 'hem then ; your People, or Travitanto Tudesko.
Dam. Who's that Boy ?
Boy. Another Juggler, with a long name. Or that 35 your expectors would be gone hence, now, at the first Act; or expect no more hereafter, then they understand.
Dam. Why so my peremptory Jack ?
Boy. My name is Iohn, indeed—Because, who expect what is impossible, or beyond nature, defraud them- 40 selves.
Pro. Nay, there the Boy said well: They doe defraud themselves indeed.
Boy. And therefore, Mr. Damplay, unlesse like a 45 solemne Justice of wit, you will damne our Play, unheard,
or unexamin'd; I shall intreat your Mrs. Madam Expectation, if shee be among these Ladies, to have patience, bit a pissing while: give our Springs leave to open a
little, by degrees : A Source of ridiculous matter may 50 breake forth anon, that shall steepe their temples, and
bathe their braines in laughter, to the fomenting of Stupiditie it selfe, and the awaking any velvet Lethargy in the House.
Pro. Why doe you maintaine your Poëts quarrell 55 so with velvet, and good clothes, Boy ? wee have seene him in indifferent good clothes, ere now.
Boy. And may doe in better, if it please the King (his Master) to say Amen to it, and allow it, to whom hee
acknowledgeth all. But his clothes shall never be the 60 best thing about him, though, hee will have somewhat
beside, either of humane letters, or severe honesty, shall speak him a man though he went naked.
Pro. Hee is beholden to you, if you can make this good, Boy. 65 Boy. Himselfe hath done that, already, against Envy. : Dam. What's your name Sir ? or your Countrey ?
Boy. Iohn Try-gust my name: A Cornish youth, and the Poëts Servant.
Dam. West-countrey breed, I thought, you were so 70 bold.
Boy. Or rather sawcy: to find out your palate, Mr. Damplay, Faith we doe call a Spade, a Spade, in Cornewall. If you dare damne our Play, i' the wrong place, we shall take heart to tell you so. 75 Pro. Good Boy.
Act II. Scene I.
Keepe, Placentia. Pleasance. Kee. Weet Mistris, pray you be merry : you are sure
To have a husband now. Pla. I, if the store Hurt not the choise. Ple. Store is no sore, young
Mistris, My mother is wont to say. Keep. And shee'l say wisely, As any mouth i' the Parish. Fixe on one, Fixe upon one, good Mistris. Pla. At this call, too, Here's Mr. Practise, who is call'd to the Bench Of purpose. Kee. Yes, and by my Ladies meanesPle. 'Tis thought to be the man. Kee. A Lawyers
wife. Ple. And a fine Lawyers wife. Kee. Is a brave 10
calling. Ple. Sweet Mistris Practise! Kee. Gentle Mistris
Practise ! Ple. Faire, open Mistris Practise! Kee. I, and close And cunning Mrs. Practise! Pla. I not like that; The Courtiers is the neater calling. Ple. Yes, My Lady Silke-worme. Kee. And to shine in Plush. 35 Ple. Like a young night Crow, a Diaphanous Silke
worme. Kee. Lady Diaphanous sounds most delicate! Ple. Which would you choose, now Mistris ? Pla.
Cannot tell. The copie does confound one. Ple. Here's my Mother.
S. D. A Room in lady Loadstone's House. Enter Nurse Keep, Placentia, and Pleasance. G
Act II. Scene II
Pol. How now, my dainty charge, and diligent Nurse ? * To her daugh-What were you chanting on ? (*God blesse you Maiden.) ter kneeling.
Kee. Wee were inchanting all; wishing a husband
Kes we were in
have a man:
The man ? How does my sweet young Mistris ?
There's two put out to making for you: A third,
Be rul'd by your Aunt: according to the will
Wee doe not trust your Vncle; hee would keepe you 20 A Batchler still, by keeping of your portion :
And keepe you not alone without a husband,
A kind of a disease, I can assure you,
Kee. A remora Mistris ! Pol. How now goody Nurse?
Act . .. Needle] om. G Enter Polish. G 2 on ? [Pleasance kneels] G 11 man ? [Exit Pleasance] G