Act II. Scene I.

Keepe, Placentia. Pleasance.

Kee. Sweet

Weet Miftris, pray you be merry: you are sure To have a husband now. Pla. I, if the store Hurt not the choife. Ple. Store is no fore, young

Miftris,

My mother is wont to say. Keep. And fhee'l fay wisely,
As any mouth i' the Parish. Fixe on one,

Fixe upon one, good Miftris. Pla. At this call, too,
Here's Mr. Practife, who is call'd to the Bench
Of purpose. Kee. Yes, and by my Ladies meanes-
Ple. 'Tis thought to be the man. Kee. A Lawyers

wife.

S

Ple. And a fine Lawyers wife. Kee. Is a brave 10

Ple.

calling.

Sweet Miftris Practife! Kee. Gentle Miftris
Practife!

Ple. Faire, open Miftris Practile! Kee. I, and close
And cunning Mrs. Practife! Pla. I not like that;
The Courtiers is the neater calling. Ple. Yes,
My Lady Silke-worme. Kee. And to fhine in Plush.
Ple. Like a young night Crow, a Diaphanous Silke-

worme.

Kee. Lady Diaphanous founds most delicate!

Ple. Which would you choose, now Miftris? Pla. Cannot tell.

The copie does confound one. Ple. Here's my Mother.

S. D. A Room in lady Loadstone's House. Enter Nurse Keep, Placentia, and Pleasance. G

Act II. Scene

Polish. Keepe. Placentia. Pleasance. Needle.

Pol. How now, my dainty charge, and diligent Nurse ? *To her daugh-What were you chanting on? (*God blesse you Maiden.) ter kneeling. Kee. Wee were inchanting all; wishing a husband

5

For my young Mistris here. A man to please her.

Pol. Shee shall have a man, good Nurse, and must
have a man :

A man, and a halfe, if wee can choose him out:
We are all in Counsell within, and fit about it:
The Doctors, and the Schollers, and my Lady;
Who's wifer then all us. Where's Mr. Needle?
10 Her Ladiship so lacks him to prick out

The man? How does my fweet young Mistris ?

You looke not well, me thinkes! how doe you, deare

charge?

You must have a husband, and you shall have a husband; There's two put out to making for you: A third, 15 Your Vncle promises: But you must still

Be rul'd by your Aunt: according to the will

Of your dead father, and mother (who are in heaven).
Your Lady-Aunt has choise i' the house for you:
Wee doe not trust your Vncle; hee would keepe you
20 A Batchler still, by keeping of your portion:
And keepe you not alone without a husband,
But in a sicknesse: I, and the greene sicknesse,
The Maidens malady; which is a sicknesse :
A kind of a disease, I can assure you,

25 And like the Fish our Mariners call remora—.

Kee. A remora Miftris! Pol. How now goody Nurse? Dame Keepe of Katernes? what? have you an oare

Needle] om. G Enter Polish. G

Act.
sance kneels] G

II man? [Exit Pleasance] G

2 on? [Plea

I' the Cockboat, 'cause you are a Saylors wife?
And come from Shadwell? I lay a remora :
For it will stay a Ship, that's under Saile!
And staies are long, and tedious things to Maids!
And maidens are young ships, that would be failing,
When they be rigg'd: wherefore is all their trim else?
Nee. True; and for them to be staid—.
Itay is dangerous:

Pol. The

You know it Mrs. Needle. Nee. I know somewhat :
And can affure you, from Doctors mouth,

Shee has a Dropfie; and must change the ayre,
Before she can recover. Pol. Say you so, Sir?

Nee. The Doctor faies fo. Pol. Sayes his worship so?
I warrant 'hem he fayes true, then; they fometimes
Are Sooth-sayers, and alwayes cunning men.
Which Doctor was it? Nee. Eeene my Ladies Doctor :
The neat house-Doctor: But a true stone-Doctor.

Pol. Why? heare you, Nurse? How comes this geare to passe?

This is your fault in truth: It shall be your fault,
And must be your fault: why is your Miftris sicke?
Shee had her health, the while shee was with me.
Kee. Alas good Miftris Polish, I am no Saint,
Much lesse, my Lady, to be urg'd give health,
Or sicknesse at my will: but to awaite
The starres good pleasure, and to doe my duty.

Pol.

You must doe more then your dutie, foolish Nurse :
You must doe all you can; and more then you can,
More then is possible: when folkes are sick,
Especially, a Miftris; a young Miftris.

Kee. Here's Mr. Doctor himselfe, cannot doe that
Pol. Doctor Doo-all can doe it. Thence he's call'd fo.

29 Shadwell? [Enter Needle] G

56 [Exit. G

35 Mrs.] Mr. 1692, f

Enter lady Loadstone and Rut. G

30

35

40

45

50

55

10

Act II. Scene

Rut. Poli/h. Lady. Keepe. Placentia.

Rut. Whence? what's hee call'd? Pol. Doctor, doe all you can,

I pray you, and beseech you, for my charge, here.

Lad. She's my tendring Golfip, loves my Neice.
Pol. I know you can doe all things, what you please,
Sir,

5 For a young Damfel, my good Ladies Neice, here!
You can doe what you lift. Rut. Peace Tiffany.

Pol. Especially in this new case o' the Dropsie. The Gentlewoman (I doe feare) is leven'd.

Rut. Leven'd? what's that? Pol. Puft, blowne, and't please your worship

Rut. What! Darke, by darker? What is blowne?
puff'd, speake

English-Pol. Tainted (and't please you) some doe call it.
She fwels, and fwels so with it.-Rut. Give her vent,
If fhee doe fwel. A Gimblet must be had:

It is a Tympanites she is troubled with;
15 There are three kinds: The first is Ana-Jarca
Vnder the Flesh, a Tumor: that's not hers.
The second is Afcites, or Aquofus,

A watry humour: that's not hers neither.
But Tympanites (which we call the Drum)
20 A wind bombes in her belly, must be unbrac'd,
And with a Faucet, or a Peg, let out,
And she'll doe well: get her a husband.

Pol. Yes,

I say so Mr. Doctor, and betimes too. Lad. As
Soone as wee can let her beare up to day,

25 Laugh, and keepe company, at Gleeke, or Crimpe.

Act... Placentia.] om. G

As

12 [wels fo] so swels 1716, f 23, 24 I say so, master doctor, and betimes too. / Lady L. soon as we can: let her bear up to-day, G

Pol. Your Ladiship fayes right, Crimpe, fure, will cure her.

Rut. Yes, and Gleeke, too; peace Gossip Tittle-Tattle,
Shee must to morrow, downe into the Countrey,
Some twenty mile; A Coach, and fix brave Horses:
Take the fresh aire, a moneth there, or five weekes:
And then returne a Bride, up to the Towne,
For any husband i' the Hemisphere,

To chuck at; when she has dropt her Timpane.
Pol. Muft fhe then drop it?

a Dropsie.

The Timpanites is one spice of it;

Rut. Thence, 'tis call'd

A toy, a thing of nothing, a meere vapour :

Ile blow't away. Lad. Needle, get you the Coach Ready, against to morrow morning. Nee. Yes Madam. Lad. Ile downe with her my selfe, and thanke the

Doctor.

39

35

Pol. Wee all shall thanke him. But, deare Madam, 4o

thinke,

Resolve upon a man, this day. Lad. I ha' done't.

To tell you true (sweet Gossip ;) here is none
But Master Doctor, hee fhall be o' the Counsell:
The man I have defign'd her to, indeed,
Is Master Practise: he's a neat young man,
Forward, and growing up, in a profession!
Like to be some body, if the Hall stand!
And Pleading hold! A prime young Lawyers wife,
Is a right happy fortune. Rut. And shee bringing

So plentifull a portion, they may live

Like King, and Queene, at common Law together!
Sway Judges; guide the Courts; command the Clarkes;
And fright the Evidence; rule at their pleasures,
Like petty Soveraignes in all cafes. Pol. O, that

45

50