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of skulls, with the required organs properly displayed, for the purpose of having caps made of all sizes to suit the growth of the infant cranium. A search in the tombs of great men, whose excellence in any art or science was known and ascertained, might in this view be attended with very beneficial consequences; but as in cemeteries where thousands are annually buried, the confusion of skulls and bodies is such in a few years, that one would not be able to identify even their own bones, the effects to be derived from skulls drawn from this source, could never be accurately depended on. It has therefore struck me, that a more certain way of procuring models would be to have them made from the craniums of existing talent, where talent is wanted, or from the head-pieces of patriotism and incorruptible integrity, if any such should be found to exist in the country. In my speculations on this subject, I at first thought that removing the integuments from the outside of the cranial covering, or scalping our celebrated countrymen for the purpose of making casts from the bones of their heads, would be sufficient; but as anatomists assert that skulls are not everywhere of the same thickness, there may exist bumps and depressions on which the talents depend, only to be discovered by an internal examination

of the shell after the removal of the kernel. It is not too much to expect, therefore, that the possessors of those craniums which have made a noise in the world, or which have been the cause of the celebrity of their proprietors, may leave them as a legacy to their admiring countrymen; but it would be far more patriotic, certainly, were they now to give them up to the modeller, before old age evaporates the cranial contents, or an additional deposit of osseous matter fills up some of the cavities on which eminence depends. The Duke of Wellington, for instance, the first general in Europe, and who has so often hazarded his life for the benefit of his country, would, I am certain, have no objection to have his body shortened a few inches to promote so much good, and thus be the matrix of a hundred future Wellingtons; and I feel quite confident that none of our own celebrated countrymen, and we have a good many, would hesitate for one moment to sacrifice their heads to the future and certain improvement of their native land. In place of one Stewart, and one Scott, (at present the brightest luminaries in our Scottish horizon,) we might, in a few years, have hundreds of the one, and thousands of the other; and provided we were wise enough to keep the models in our own hands, (for they have

Hag. "Cruel to my inferiors I never was; but I rejoiced to pull the lofty down, to make them on a fair level with their brethren in the world. Whatever I did, I never looked back to my former crimes with regret, as I never thought that was of any use."

P. 167.

“I laid one low with my pistol. Whether I have his murder to answer for, I cannot tell. But I fear my aim was too true, and the poor fellow looked dead enough.”— P. 32.

"Before he had time to challenge me, I hit him a very smart blow on the head with the butt-end of my whip."-P. 109.

"Our only object was liberty-not to murder poor Thomas Morrin."-P. 167. Phren. "The greatest errors have arisen from a great self-esteem, a large combativeness, a prodigious firmness, a great secretiveness, and a defective love of approbation. No others of the faculties appear to possess an undue degree of energy or deficiency."—

P. 160.

"Your nature is, in many respects, different from your actions.”—P. 169. "Your sentiment of Justice is not remarkably defective."-Ib.

"Your sentiment of benevolence is great," &c.-Ib.

We have quoted these latter passages to shew what an excellent man Haggart was, but for his unfortunate convictions, and as additional proofs of the soundness of the theory which our correspondent has so eloquently advocated. Though it has been insinuated to us in more than one quarter that the observer must have been either blind or "lushy," when he made observations so little in accordance with the registers of the criminal courts; and though we have heard it remarked as an odd manner of characterising the profession of robbery, seduction, and murder, to term it merely a sporting line of life," yet as David, according to the indications of his cranium, was an honourable man," and his observer is known to be " an honourable man," we make no farther remark, than by repeating with Mark Antony, that "so are they all,-all honourable men."-C. N.

no such heads in any other country,) an era in Scottish literature might arrive, far more splendid than the age that boasted of Hume, Smith, and Robertson. Or, say that the worthy managers of our city corporations, and the Sheriffs of our counties, were to lay their heads together, and resolve to deny county and civic privileges to every one who should not choose to have their childrens' heads cramped into these approved models; and if the General Assembly of our National Church should add the weight of their influence to the scheme, and deny church-privileges to the nonconformists, I have little doubt that the native enterprise of our countrymen, guided by such craniums, would soon acquire the government of the world, and lay the foundation of an empire of greater extent, and of infinitely more power, than any that has yet existed. It has been objected, I believe, to the system of Gall, Spurzheim, and Company, that its direct tendency is to lead to the doctrine of Materialism; but I see no just grounds for the objection. If the soul is independent of the body, and if the bumps and depressions on the human cranium be the work of this invisible agent, it should rather, I think, afford evidence of its independent power, that it can make room for the display of its peculiar faculties, without consulting the mass of matter or the bones where it is supposed to have its temporary residence. But as all the demonstrations of soul are only known to us through the medium of body, it is absurd to say that we can know any thing of this divine essence, excepting in connexion with its corporeal seat. Wine is wine, whether in a hogshead, a flask, or one of Day and Martin's blacking-bottles; and soul is soul, whether we suppose its seat to be in the belly, the head, or the feet. Was ever a philosopher heard of, who could invent theories, or illustrate facts, without the assistance of his stomach, and the apparatus con

tained in his thoracic cavity? and does not a cannon-shot through the breast put a stop as effectual to the operations of soul, as if it had been directed to the head? All that the phrenologists say is, that particular powers of mind or soul have been proved to manifest themselves in peculiar developements of the bones of the head; and all that I say is, that by my glorious invention, (as I have no doubt it will be termed by after ages,) the growth and developement of these bones may, in early. life, from their yielding quality, be made to accommodate themselves to the display of any required faculty of mind.

There is a strong argument from analogy, which may be here mentioned in illustration of the doctrine now propounded. Trees, it is well known, when left to take their own mode of growing, always delight to luxuriate in the wild irregularity of unshapely and unpruned branches; though it is quite well known to the skilful gardener, that they can be made to assume the form of a fan or a cone on walls, or expand horizontally on espaliers, at the pleasure of their early instructors, and still, after all, be trees, and bear fruit better than in their wild uneducated state. Now, I will not do my fellow-creatures the injustice to suppose, that they are less susceptible of cultivation than plumb or cherrytrees, or that the bony covering of their thirty-three propensities is harder than holly or boxwood, or more untractable than the teak or "knotted oak." But further illustration is unnecessary; the very mention of the circumstance must carry conviction to' the mind of the unprejudiced observer of nature.

It may be objected to the magnificent discovery now enunciated, that the soul may not choose to occupy a habitation moulded to a certain shape, and that, if forced to reside in a house she does not like, she may sit sullenly in her cell, and disappoint the hopes

* By the bye, why is the soul always of the feminine gender, and the mind neuter ?

The Soul, secure in her existence, smiles

At the drawn-dagger, and defies its point.
Hark, they whisper !-Angels say,
Sister Spirit, come away?

I hope some of those metaphysical writers, who bewilder themselves and confound others, by the indiscriminate use of the terms soul, mind, brain, thinking principle, and so forth, would answer the question. My own soul, I am convinced, is an independent masculine spirit, which shall survive long after the pulpy attributes and bony faculties of phrenological minds shall be crumbled to dust.

of those most interested in her future display. That this may happen in one case out of a thousand may be considered as possible; though it is not very likely that the occupier of a common-place rotundity would be content to lose the pleasure of thinking like Newton or Bacon, merely out of dogged moroseness, which would hurt nobody but itself. But even were this case to be more common than can be supposed, the certainty of preventing the growth of evil propensities is sufficient to counterbalance the loss which society might sustain from this cause; and, to carry on the allusion to the training of plants, the manure of education which would in many cases be applied to heads already predisposed to excellence, might raise their possessors to such heights of knowledge, that the average of the whole population might be equal to a Locke, and not inferior to a Pope or Addison.

It is impossible for one mind to conceive all the objections which may be made by the ignorant, or those who are so wedded to old notions as to consider no innovations as improvements. But it would ill become the projector of so magnificent a plan for the future, not to suggest something likewise that may ameliorate the existing race of human beings, and, at least, banish vice and crime, if it do nothing more, from our native country. If the prevailing disposition of mind ean be infallibly ascertained, according to Phrenologists, by the examination of the outside of the head, might not the British Parliament do something worse than pass an act, which shall oblige all individuals of this empire, of whatever age, to submit their rotundities to the required examination; and those found with organs hurtful to the community could then be separated from the general mass, and prevented from disturbing the peace of society by their furtive or murderous propensities? Crime would thus be crushed in the bud, and the infant murderer, or the confirmed thief, might pay the forfeit of their intended crimes long before their little arms were able to wield a rush, or their eyes distinguish one species of property from another. The grown up wicked people might be put to death without mercy, for the safety of the good; or, if this were thought too cruel, they might be transported,

at the expence of the Societies for the Suppression of Vice, to our new settlements on Melville Island, where their ingenuity might have room for its display in contesting with the arctic bear and fox the right of property in each other's bodies. Were this "consummation," so "devoutly to be wished," to take place, a committee of Gall and Spurzheim's followers in London, and the same in Edinburgh, superintended by their publishing disciples, might be established, for the purpose of picking out all the disturbers of society with villainous propensities, previous to their shipment; and the British millennium might instantly commence, by the shutting up for ever of those receptacles of vice and misery, the Newgates, and Bridewells, and prison-houses of every denomination.

As in every great revulsion of public opinion, or change of public sentiment, certain classes are sure to suffer, the opposition to the measure from those interested in the existence of crime, or who derive their chief support from the commission of vice, might be overcome by granting them annuities equal to the amount of their annual profits. Or, if this should be thought to fall too heavy on the national income, the measure might be partially delayed till the present race of office-holders wore out. Leaving a few culprits in every county for a certain limited period, the criminal courts and the officers of police, the keepers of jails, and the public executioner, would have no more reason to complain of the stagnation of trade, than other honest dealers in mercantile commodities for a long time past; and those respectable and useful matrons, who keep markets of beauty for the unwived part of the population, might be restricted in their calling to the disposal of their present stock. From the usual termination of crime, the frail nature of beauty, and the accidents to which it is exposed, I do not see that, from these causes, the millennium need be delayed beyond a very few years.

In those cases where the bumps on the skull do not form an infallible criterion, (for it must be allowed that this mode of judging of propensities sometimes fails) the assistance of those acute observers of human nature, the Bond Street and Police officers, ought to be called in, before deciding finally upon a moral delinquency; and, as a

last resource, a jury of Spurzheimists would settle the matter in a way not to be called in question. Though the examination of the skulls of great men has, in a few cases, thrown discredit on the theory, by even the most acute phrenologists sometimes finding the eranium of a thief to belong to the most beneficent person, and a murderer's bump on a head overflowing with the "milk of human kindness," yet these are but exceptions to the general rule, mere tricks of nature to perplex philosophers. It is a very ill constructed theory, indeed, that cannot explain things much more perplexing, and fortunately here the explanation is not difficult. In craniums of this sort, the organs undisplayed possess sufficient controul over the externally prominent ones to counter act their mischievous tendency; and although the head of Shakespeare, examined by the doctrines of the craniologists, palpably wants all the organs which should have contributed to form a mind capable of" exhausting worlds and imagining new ones;"-although Milton, by the same theory, looks very like as if he could steal a horse; Dryden might be mistaken for the keeper of a country ale-house; and Swift, Pope, and Gay, as three fellows whom it would be unsafe to meet upon an unfrequented road;-although Sir Isaac Newton and Dr Adam Smith, according to Spurzheim and Co., may be set down as tailors in no great estimation; Joseph Addison as an irreclaimable rake; David Hume and Edward Gibbon as portly coachmen, with heads as smooth as the hind-quarters of

their horses; yet all these, I insist, are but exceptions to the general rule, and are by no means to be considered as of any consequence in the estimation of the phrenetic or phrenological hypothesis.

To conclude, (for I do not wish to exhaust the subject,) it may be mentioned, as an additional argument for the introduction of metal caps, or mind-regulators, that the heads, where no superior purpose was required, might be formed so as better to suit the various occupations of men than those in common use. Might not the person intended as a teacher of ma thematics, for example, have his seat of thought moulded into the shape of a triangle, a cone, a cylinder, or any other form which might be of use to him in his demonstrations of Euclid, and thus save the trouble of tracing illustrative diagrams? those intended to carry weights on this part of their bodies might have the upper surface of the cranium formed into a horizontal plane; while soldiers, intended for parade, might have it elongated to a cone or cylinder, which would add some inches to their stature. But these details I willingly leave to the committee of Parliament, who will have to arrange the provisions of the bill; only suggesting, as it is my own discovery, that the act should be intituled, both in the warrant for the money which I am sure to receive from Parliament, and in the Journals of the House, " An Act for hastening the British Millenium, and for the revival of the Golden Age."

CHAPTER III.

Improvement of Intellect from Cross-breeds of Genius.
Hey for a lass and a bottle to cheer,
And a thumping bantling every year.

DR SPURZHEIM, in his late duodecimo on Education,* has a chapter on the "Laws of Propagation," in which he proposes to improve the human race by judicious cross-breeding. The reasonings contained in that chapter

English Song.

are certainly worthy the attention of those persons of both sexes who may now be disposed to enter into the matrimonial state; and, were not the subject repulsive for its indelicacy, I should have been glad to have supported my

A View of the Elementary Principles of Education, founded on the Study of the Nature of Man. By J. G. Spurzheim, M.D. Edin. 1821.

VOL. X.

L

own preconceived opinion by numerous quotations from an observer of such talents. But as I have an antipathy to scientific bawdry and learned obscenity, whether coming from the pen of Dr Aristotle or of Dr Spurzheim, I only quote the result of the interesting inquiry. "It is indeed a pity," says the Doctor, "that the laws of propagation are not more attended to. I am convinced that, by attention to them, not only the condition of single families, but of whole nations, might be improved beyond imagination, in figure, stature, complexion, health, talents, and moral feelings. I consider with Aristotle,"-Vide Aristotle's Masterpiece," that the natural and innate differences of man are the basis of all political economy. He who can convince the world of the importance of the laws of propagation, and induce mankind to conduct themselves accordingly, will do more good to them, and contribute more to their improvement, than all institutions, and all systems of education!"

As any improvement of intellect from this source, however, is of little consideration, after the magnificent theory illustrated in the foregoing chapters, I should not now have noticed the subject at all, were it not to establish my own claim to priority of discovery, even on this point. From a paper of mine read before the Philosophical Society of Assbury, upwards of two years ago, and which was honoured by the marked approbation of all the members present at its reading, I extract the following passages:—

"It will not be denied, that great improvements have been made, during the last fifty years, in the breeds of cattle, by the judicious intermixture of the various qualities of animals, which are the objects of the breeders of horse or black cattle, or the rearers of sheep and the producers of wool. It is also well known, that Mr Knight, whose philosophic experiments on plants have been productive of so much advantage to horticulture, has succeeded in raising new and improved varieties of fruit from the junction of allied species. And it is at least a probable conjecture, that the same attention to the marriages of the human race, where genius or valour, or any species of excellence may be required, would scarcely fail to have similar results.

"For example, who could doubt

that the junction of a male Milton and a female Addison, a he Dryden and a she Swift, a feminine Pope, and a masculine Otway, would have produced, by the commixture of talents, a cross-breed of genius to which there would have been no parallel? and Bacon's sagacity, and Newton's scientific powers, might, by a proper arrangement of marriages betwixt the members of the families, long ere this time have resolved all the desiderata in philosophy, and unfolded all the arcana of nature.

"It is perhaps of no use to regret that the philosophical views which guide our graziers in the improvement of the breeds of cattle, and our experienced jockies in the management of their horses, were not perceived and acted upon ere this time, and the eighteenth century in Britain had, compared to the rest of the world, enough to distinguish it, without having added to its laurels the discovery which I have now the honour of detailing. If it had been earlier made, the person who now addresses you would not have had the merit of it, and this Honourable Society would not have had the envied distinction of recording in their Transactions, and publishing to the world, a secret for its future improvement, even more valuable than the finding out of the philosopher's stone.

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To put the theory to the test of experiment, I now beg to propose the appointment of a committee, to confer with committees of the other scientific and literary associations throughout the kingdom, for the purpose of arranging the details, and securing to posterity the combination of the talents we at present possess, by promoting connexions which, however they may interfere with the partial and shortsighted arrangement of parents, will infallibly raise the next age to a precedency of talent over all former ages of the world."

I have nothing further to add on the subject. But if a sound and healthy progeny is an object of concern to any respectable and beautiful young lady who may wish a cross with our family, I trust I shall not be so unpolite as to reject the advances of youth and beauty. My address is, Sir Toby Tickletoby, of Tickletoby Hall, by Long

town.

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