yours; we owe each other nothing save mutual help and love," he knew nothing; he had never learned even the alphabet of true liberality; and his was a slow though strong intellect, very slow to assimilate a new idea, and by no means ready to range those he already possessed in the battle array of argument.

hard man would never have known. A vague, instinctive sense of justice-another national characteristic - saved him from being a very selfish man, but did not hinder him from an eager seeking of his own ends, so long as they did not visibly trench on the rights of others; and at times, if the upper and harder strata of his character was, by some morally arte- Nevertheless, he was very little moved sian process, pierced through, capable of by his charming landlady's opinions; they giving out more of sympathy than his kins- were a pretty woman's vagaries prettily folk and acquaintance in general would expressed; still, as he thought over every believe. But he possessed very little of word and look of hers that night while the adaptability, the quickness of feeling smoking the pipe of peace and meditation and perception, which gives the power of before he went to rest, he felt more and putting oneself in another's place; and, more desirous of solving the mystery of her therefore, possessing no gauge by which surroundings. That she and her friend to measure the force of other men's temp- were gentlewomen he never for a moment tations, he had, by a process of unreason- doubted, driven by poverty to keep a shop, ing mental action, accumulated a rather though it was an unusual resource for contemptuous estimate of the world in decayed gentility. For poor gentry Galgeneral. Men were generally weak and braith had special sympathy, and had a untrue - not false, habit and opinion pre- dim idea that it would be well to tax sucvented that- and women he scarcely cessful money-grubbers who would perconsidered at all; the few specimens hesist in lowering the tone of society in genhad known intimately were not calculated eral and regiments in particular by thrustto impress him favourably. His sisters, ing themselves and their luxurious snobaccustomed to the amenities of foreign bish sons into those sacred ranks - he life, never disguised their opinion that he had, we say, a dim idea that such memwas a hopeless barbarian, until, indeed, bers of the community ought to be taxed their last few interviews, when they in order to support the helpless descendshowed a disposition to treat his brusque- ants of those who had not the ability to rie as the eccentricity of a noble sin- keep their estate together. Still, how any cerity. The younger sister, who had al- woman with the instinct of a gentlewomways clung to him, and whom he loved an could bring herself to keep a shop, to with all the strength of his slow-develop-measure out things to insolent customers, ing boyish heart, had chilled him with an unspeakable disgust by bestowing herself on an artist, a creature considered by Galbraith in those days, and, with some slight modification, still considered, as a sort of menial as belonging to a class of upper servants who fiddled and painted and danced and sang for the amusement of an idle aristocracy. He would have been more inclined to associate with the village blacksmith, who, at any rate, did real man's work when he forged horseshoes and ploughshares by the strength of his right arm. In short, he was a mediæval man, rather out of place in the nineteenth century.

In politics a Tory, yet not an ignoble one. He would have severely punished the oppressor of the poor. Indeed, he thought it the sacred duty of lords to protect their vassal, even from themselves; but it must be altogether a paternal proceeding given free gratis out of the plenitude of his nobility. Of the grander generosity to our poorer brethren that says, "Take your share of God's world, it is

perhaps to old market-women, and stretch out that soft white hand to take their greasy pence, he could not conceive. She ought to have adopted some other line of work; yet if she had he would not have known her; and though he put aside the idea, he felt that he would rather have missed far more important things. She was different from all other women he had ever known; the quiet simplicity of her manners was so restful; the controlled animation that would sparkle up to the surface frequently, and gave so much beauty to her mobile face- her smile, sometimes arch, often scornful, occasionally tender; the proud turn of her snowy throat; the outlines of her rounded, pliant figure; the great, earnest, liquid eyes uplifted so frankly and calmly to meet his own — - Galbraith summoned each and every charm of face and form and bearing that had so roused his wonder and admiration to pass in review order before his mind's eye, and "behold, they were very good." It was the recollection of their first interview, however, more than

the hunting-season; and should Lady Eliz-
abeth stand the test of ten days or a fort-
night in the same house, he would try his
luck. A wish to enjoy his friend Upton's
society to the last of his stay, induced
Galbraith to postpone his visit for a week;
and then he met with the accident which
made him Mrs. Temple's inmate; and,
lo! all things had become new. What-
ever his lot might be, it was impossible he
could marry a pretty doll like Lady Eliza-
beth - a nice creature, without one idea
different from every other girl, without a
word of conversation beyond an echo of
what was said to her. No; he wanted
something more companionable than that;
something soft and varied enough to draw
out what tenderness was in him; some-
thing brave, and frank, and thoughtful;
to be a pleasant comrade in the dull places
of life. At this point in his reflections,
Galbraith pulled himself up, with a sneer
at the idea of his dreaming dreams, wak-
ing dreams, at that time of his life.
"I'll
just stay a week longer," he thought, "I
really am not quite strong yet, and then I
will go to town; by that time I shall man-
age to penetrate that puzzling woman's
mystery, or I shall give it up. I shall
have Upton or Gertrude coming down
here to see what keeps me in such quar-
ters, and, by Jove! I would rather neither
of them did. She would make mischief

a month back, that puzzled him most. | Allerton, the family seat, for the close of "She must have fancied she knew something of me," he thought, as he slowly paced his sitting-room, restless with the strange new interest and fresh vivid life that stirred his blood, and in some mysterious way, of which he was but half conscious, deepened and brightened the colouring of every object, until Fanny declared, as she bid Kate good-night, that "Sir Hugh must have a bad conscience to keep tramping up and down like that," "and something to my discredit," he mused. "I shall not soon forget the first look I had from those eyes of hers! It was equivalent to the 'Draw and defend yourself, villain!' of old novels. How could I have offended her, or any one belonging to her? I'll ask her some day-some day! By Jove, I can't stay here much longer! Yet why should I not? I have nothing to take me anywhere. This accident has knocked my visit to Allerton on the head. The countess and Lady Elizabeth will be in town by the time I am fit to go anywhere. That pretty little girl, Miss Lee, is not unlike Lady Elizabeth, only she has more 'go' in her- but Mrs. Temple!" even in thought Galbraith had no words to express the measureless distance between his landlady and the Countess of G's graceful, well-trained daughter. The truth is, Galbraith had, after his accession of fortune, seriously contemplated matrimony. He had no idea of being succeeded by a nephew of a different name, or a cousin whom he disliked. Moreover, it behoved him to found the family anew- -to impose a fresh entail especially if he could buy back some of the old estates; and Payne had written to him that it was probable a slice of the From Macmillan's Magazine. DIVERSIONS OF A PEDAGOGUE. Kirby Grange estates might before long be in the market. If he married, he THE idea that a schoolmaster's existwould go in for family; he did not care ence is nothing but a continual round of so much for rank. Accident had sent monotonous drudgery appears to be dying him down to dinner at his sister's house out. It may be quite true that there is a with Lady Elizabeth, who seemed a pretty, great deal of monotony and drudgery to inoffensive, well-bred girl; and he even be endured in the scholastic life; but it began, by deliberate trying, to take some has evidently been discovered that, as far interest in her, after meeting at several as these disagreeables are concerned, the parties by day and by night, where he had, rather to Lady Lorrimer's surprise, consented to appear. Lady Elizabeth, although her father was not a wealthy peer, had a few thousands, which would not be unacceptable; and, though Galbraith had bid her good-bye in Germany, where they had again encountered, with his ordinary cool, undemonstrative manner, he had made up his mind to accept the invitation then given him, if duly repeated, to go to

with or without grounds." So saying, almost aloud, Galbraith lit his candle, and turned down the lamp.

life of a schoolmaster contrasts favourably with that of a merchant, a lawyer, a medical practitioner, or even of a curate. Highly intellectual men may find deep interest in the work of a good "sixth form," and to the less intellectual a mastership offers considerable attractions. One may find plenty to interest one in middle-school forms, and it does not require the highest attainments to make a really good middle-school form-master.

And what may be called unintellectual i.e., non-bookish men, as well as others, are quite open to the allurements of cricket, football, fives, and the like, which may be freely enjoyed by those who accept the life of a master in a large school. The number of men who, on leaving the universities, seek masterships is really remarkable. Nor is it only the bookish or the athletic-bookish who are drawn to school life. It is not a rare thing to find, on answering advertisements in the Guardian or some scholastic paper, that the man who is anxious for a mastership is one who has been remarkable at the university only for a knowledge of boating or cricket "shop: " possibly only for the attendant circumstances of a velvet coat and a sweet bull-dog.

Most people, however, would be disposed to imagine that the school-hours passed with a low or a middle form must be unmitigated boredom: that the time spent in actual teaching must be "grind," pure, simple and dismal: that the interest excited by one or two promising boys must be swamped by the stupidity and indifference of the many.

ences will show that the schoolboy has great powers as a humorist. But let it be observed that while the characters in the volume just quoted are for the most part fictitious, and their delusion the inventions of ingenious scholars, I am not about to affront my readers by offering them a collection of jokes invented for the occasion, and put into the mouths of fabulous beings. Mira, sed acta loquor; and it is hoped that these actual and veritable scholastic experiences may not only amuse, but also serve to throw some light upon the nature of that extremely complex subject, the British schoolboy. The large majority of the translations and answers here given have occurred within the writer's own experience as a teacher, and almost all the authors of these facetiæ are personally known to him.

These humorists and their utterances he will classify as best he can.

I. The Stupid-Good. Under this head it is meant to include boys of a literal and utterly unimaginative turn of mind; boys of little power, and free from eccentricities of any kind; who do their work honestly, but trust simply and solely to their dictionaries and lexicons to bring them through their difficulties. First take one or two instances of their powers of translation, with the help of the books mentioned. "The consul spoke for his family," is neatly rendered “Consul radius nam ejus familia." "Naval force " no less neatly "Umbilica vis." Again, "To scale a wall" is carefully rendered "Murum desquamare." The author of this deserved a mark for carefully consulting his dictionary. A good story is told of a party of boys engaged on a lesson of Virgil. They are puzzled by the line

The true pedagogue will take an entirely different view from this. To him the ladies'-school expression, "a finished education," is unknown. He will regard himself as a learner with those whom he teaches, a learner with a few years' start of his pupils. That lead in all probability he will maintain or increase against the majority of his form, but now and then he will see himself being caught up, and pretty safe to be beaten in the long run. He and his form are all runners in the same race. His stupid and ignorant boys are not a set of dummies. He recognizes in each a greater or smaller degree of intelligence or dulness. In many a correct answer he will see stupidity; in many an incorrect one, a degree of intel- What can "mene" be? At last in triligence. He will be able to classify his umph a small boy cries out from the stupid just as well as his clever boys. depths of his dictionary, "I have it; And if he chooses to look into the meth-mena, a small fish, resembling a pilods by which his boys arrive at their most chard,'" which accordingly went down. astoundingly foolish conclusions, he will often find that their methods are not altogether stupid; and that in the most wonderful displays of ignorance and the darkest depths of denseness may be discerned rays of light and sense. And thus he will find his form capable of being not only interesting, but at times immensely amusing.

The non-reading undergraduate has been shown to be amusing in "The Art of Pluck." Perhaps the following experi

66

Mene incepto desistere victam?

A too great reliance on the same book produced the following translation of Referent distenta capella ubera,” “They will carry back the she-goats with distented chitterlings." It does not appear what idea, unless that of a performing bird, was present to the mind of a boy who translated Tarquinio advenienti aquila pileum sustulit," "On Tarquin's arrival an eagle supported a hat." EmySv avλouvres can only be turned, by those whose sole hope is the lexicon, into

66

"Playing the flute on trumpets." "Evoe, parce Liber," "Hail, thrifty book!" and

Who spacious regions gave,
A wasteful beast!

beasts."

a waste for

"Si torrere jecur quæris idoneum," "If where the original has
you wish to warm your useful liver
these are two examples of what Horace
suffers at the hands of the stupid-good.
2. The Muddled. These are boys
who are not without sense and knowledge,
but who come to grief for want of power
of arrangement and discrimination. Their
"vis consili expers mole ruit suâ." They
remind one of Tennyson's

No triumph flushed that haughty Brown only differs from the original by the capital and the addition of the final letter to the last word.

Delirious man,

Who mingles all without a plan.

Such a one is asked, "How long was Jonah in the whale's belly?" He answers, "Three days." "How long besides?" "Forty nights," he replies. The muddled appear to the worst advantage when called on to express themselves in writing. As a rule they abstain from punctuation, which is liable to lead them into fresh complications. Here is an answer from a Scripture-history paper. "Rahab sent Ruth out to glean in the fields of her kinsman Laban." The following is meant for a short account of the siege of Samaria : — "In the siege of Samaria there was a great famine, and as the king was walking along the wall a woman cried unto him and said that if she would boil her child they would eat it that day, and that she would boil hers and eat it the next; but she said that she boiled hers and they ate it, but the other woman hid hers and would not boil it." The next is from an essay on Jersey: "A large quantity of apples are grown there, which are made into cider and potatoes. The inhabitants are chiefly engaged in the fisheries of cod and mackerel, which abound there and in the mines." 3. The Simple-boys who are afraid of using slang, but who use it without at all meaning to be slangy; who apply the most homely expressions to the grandest subjects, and, in their simplicity, make such childish mistakes as do honour to their hearts, if not to their heads. The simple come to much grief in writing from dictation. The following are speci

mens

Where waddling in a pool of blood
The bravest Tuscans lay,

not

where for "waddling" read "wallowing." "This provoked Pope's ayah," where for "ayah" read "ire."

In a passage on William Rufus occur the lines

In writing out "Lord Ullin's Daughter" from dictation, one of the simple has a very curious reading:

"Come back, come back!" he cried in Greek Across the stormy water.

Here is a new version of Scott:

He is gone on the mountain,

He is lost to the forest, Like a summer-dried fountain When our need was the saw-dust. Here a variation on Macaulay : the red glare on Skiddaw roused the burglars of Carlisle.

And

Another,

Herminius on Black Auster,

And Horace fares thus :

Me lentus Glyceræ torret amor meæ,
The gluey love of my Glycera frightens me.
Καὶ ἔπλεον πνεύματι καλῷ, “ And they sailed
to the good spirit," is a touching instance
of the simplicity we are illustrating. The
following is good: —

Κάλγας Θεστορίδης, οἰωνοπόλων ὄχι ἄριστος,
ὃς ᾔδη τά τ' ἔοντα, τά τ' ἐσσόμενα, πρό τ' ἔοντα.

"Calchas, son of Thestor, by far the best
of augurs, who knew both the present,
the future, and the perfect." When the
heart-broken Dido sees the ships of Æneas
getting under sail she cries, "Pro Jupiter,
bit!" which one of the simple translates,
"By Jove, he is going!"

The following from Sopohcles

σμικρὶν μὲν ἐξαιτοῦντα, τοῦ σμικροῦ δ ̓ ἔτι μεῖον φέροντα,

speci

-on

A. "Because he was such a calf." 2. "At the Comitia Curiata the patricians met in their -?"

A. "Togas."

It is not often that a joke is to be got out of a Euclid lesson, but we remember a master asking for a definition of a circle, and being answered by a pupil, who described a ring in the air with his forefinger, ejaculating, "A dodge like."

We will take our leave of the simple with "Variations on Allan Cunningham," i.e., a part of a favourite lyric, introducing the various blunders made under dictation by a form of small boys :

A wet sheep and a flowing sea,
A wind that follows fast,
And fills the white and rustling sail,
And bends the gallant mast;
And bends the gallant mast, my boys,
While like an evil free,

elicited this rendering, "Demanding little, and yet paying for that little with a lamb." Another simple youth gave, as an equivalent of the first three words, "Poor beggar!" Here are some more mens of the simple as translators 'Opovs, "He said 'O Orontes!"" "Vere fruor semper," "Truly I always feed." Τῶν δὲ πλευρῶν ἑκατέρων δύο τῶν πρεσβυτάτων orрarnyol éxiμeλelo0wv, "And let two of the oldest generals take care of each other's fanks.” Νόμος τοὺς μὲν ἔχοντας διδόναι τῷ βασιλεῖ, τοῖς δὲ μὴ ἔχουσι διδόναι τὸν βασιλέα, A custom that those who had anything should give it to the king, and that those who had nothing should give it to the queen." This evidently refers to the monarch who was in his parlour counting out his money, whose queen, for want of something to count, amused herself with bread and honey. "When Greek meets Greek then comes the tug of war," but the preceding show that when the simple meet Greek much the same may be looked for in the battle-field of the form-room. And the last line is too profane for quotation. they do not make much more of Latin, as 4. The Careless. Under this head witness the next elegant extracts. "Vic-come a large proportion of schoolboys. tory was worshipped at Rome under the The careless are, generally speaking, form of a feathered (alata) virgin." "In- boys whose form-affairs, so to put it, are signis Turnus," "Ensign Turner.” “Dum at a low ebb; whose credit with their thymo pascuntur apes," ," "While monkeys master is as nearly run out as is their are fed on thyme." "Rapientibus esseda master's forbearance with them; boys mannis," "The chariot with captivated whose position is becoming desperate, and cobs." In what they are pleased to call who do not shrink from wild statements "composition," the simple are equally and violent imaginings, because at any amusing, e.g., "These birds have long tails," "Ha aves longa sunt fundamen"She came with bare feet and dishevelled hair," "Nuda caput venit, selam diffusaque nigram." The next is

tos."

66

Away the good sheep flies, and leaves
An old man on the lea.

.

While the hollow oak our parish is

risk they must make an effort to improve their condition. The careless stick at nothing. They make their wildest shots when questions are being rapidly passed round the form.