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Enter Clown and Shepherd.
Aside, aside ;-here is more matter for a hot brain : Every lane's end, every shop, church, session, hanging, yields a careful man work.
Clo. See, see; what a man you are now! there is no other way, but to tell the king she's a changeling, and none of your flesh and blood.
Shep. Nay, but hear me.
Clo. She being none of your flesh and blood, your flesh and blood has not offended the king; and, so, your flesh and blood is not to be punished by him. Show those things you found about her; those secret things, all but what she has with her: This being done, let the law go whistle ; I warrant you.
Shep. I will tell the king all, every word, yea, and his son's pranks too; who, I may say, is no honest man neither to his father, nor to me, to go about to make me the king's brother-in-law.
Clo. Indeed, brother-in-law was the furthest off you could have been to him ; and then your blood had been the dearer, by I know how much an ounce. Aut. Very wisely ; puppies !
[A side. Shep. Well ; let us to the king ; there is that in this fardel, will make him scratch his beard.
Aut. I know not what impediment this complaint may be to the flight of my master.
Clo. 'Pray heartily he be at palace.
Aut. Though I am not naturally honest, I am so sometimes by chance :-Let me pocket up my pedler's excrement. — [Takes off his false beard.] How now, rusticks? whither are you bound?
Shep. To the palace, an it like your worship.
Aut. Your affairs there? what? with whom? the condition of that fardel, the place of your dwelling, your names, your ages, of what having?, breeding, and any thing that is fitting to be known, discover.
Clo. We are but plain fellows, sir.
Aut. A lie; you are rough and hairy : Let me have no lying; it becomes none but tradesmen, and they often give us soldiers the lie: but we pay them for it with stamped coin, not stabbing steel; therefore they do not give us the lie
Clo. Your worship had like to have given us one, if you had not taken yourself with the mannero. Shep. Are you a courtier, an’t like
Shep. My business, sir, is to the king.
Clo. Advocate's the court-word for a pheasant; say, you have none.
of what having,] i. e. estate, property.
therefore they do not give us the lie.] The meaning is, they are paid for lying, therefore they do not give us the lie, they sell it us.
with the manner.] In the fact.
insinuate, or toze -] To insinuate, and to teaze, or toaze, are opposite. The former signifies to introduce itsel obliquely into a thing, and the latter to get something out that was knotted up in it.
Shep. None, sir; I have no pheasant, cock, nor
hen. Aut. How bless'd are we, that are not simple men ! Yet nature might have made me as these are, Therefore I'll not disdain.
Clo. This cannot be but a great courtier.
Shep. His garments are rich, but he wears them not handsomely.
Clo. He seems to be the more noble in being fantastical: a great man, I'll warrant; I know, by the picking on's teeth.
Aut. The fardel there? what's i'the fardel? Wherefore that box ?
Shep. Sir, there lies such secrets in this fardel, and box, which none must know but the king; and which he shall know within this hour, if I may come to the speech of him.
Aut. Age, thou hast lost thy labour.
Aut. The king is not at the palace: he is gone aboard a new ship to purge melancholy, and air himself: For, if thou beʼst capable of things serious, thou must know, the king is full of grief.
Shep. So 'tis said, sir ; about his son, that should have married a shepherd's daughter.
Aut. If that shepherd be not in hand-fast, let him fly; the curses he shall have, the tortures he shall feel, will break the back of man, the heart of monster.
Clo. Think you so, sir ?
Aut. Not he alone shall suffer what wit can make heavy, and vengeance bitter ; but those that are germane to him, though removed fifty times, shall all come under the hangman : which though it be great pity, yet it is necessary.
An old sheep-whistling rogue, a ram-tender, to offer to have his daughter come into grace! Some say, he shall be stoned; but that death is too soft for him, say I: Draw onr throne
into a sheep-cote! all deaths are too few, the sharpest
Clo. Has the old man e'er a son, sir, do you hear, an't like you, sir?
Aut. He has a son, who shall be flayed alive ; then, ’nointed over with honey, set on the head of a wasp's nest; then stand, till he be three-quarters and a dram dead: then recovered again with aqua-vitæ, or some other hot infusion: then, raw as he is, and in the hottest day prognostication proclaims', shall he be set against a brick wall, the sun looking with a southward eye upon him; where he is to behold him with flies blown to death. But what talk we of these traitorly rascals, whose miseries are to be smiled at their offences being so capital ? Tell me, (for you seem to be honest plain men,) what you have to the king: being something gently considered, I'll bring you where he is aboard, tender your persons to his presence, whisper him in your behalfs; and, if it be in man, besides the king, to effect your suits, here is man shall do it.
Clo. He seems to be of great authority: close with him, give him gold ; and though authority be a stubborn bear, yet he is oft led by the nose with gold : show the inside of your purse to the outside of his hand, and no more ado : Remember stoned, and flayed alive.
Shep. An't please you, sir, to undertake the business for us, here is that gold I have: I'll make it as much more; and leave this young man in pawn, till I bring
Aut. After I have done what I promised ?
the hottest day prognostication proclaims,]. That is, the hottest day foretold in the almanack.
being something gently considered,] Means, I having a gentlemanlike consideration given me, i. e. a bribe, will bring
Aut. Well, give me the moiety :- Are you a party in this business?
Clo. In some sort, sir : but though my case be a pitiful one, I hope I shall not be flayed out of it.
Aut. O, that's the case of the shepherd's son:Hang him, he'll be made an example.
Clo. Comfort, good comfort: we must to the king, and show our strange sights: he must know, 'tis none of your daughter, nor my sister; we are gone else. Sir, I will give you as much as this old man does, when the business is performed; and remain, as he says, your pawn, till it be brought you.
Aut. I will trust you. Walk before toward the seaside ; go on the right hand; I will but look upon the hedge, and follow you.
Clo. We are blessed in this man, as I may say, even blessed.
Shep. Let's before, as he bids us: he was provided to do us good.
[Eceunt Shepherd and Clown. Aut. If I had a mind to be honest, I see, fortune would not suffer me; she drops booties in my mouth. I am courted now with a double occasion ; gold, and a means to do the prince my master good; which, who knows how that may turn back to my advancement ? I will bring these two moles, these blind ones, aboard him : if he think it fit to shore them again, and that the complaint they have to the king concerns him nothing, let him call me rogue, for being so far officious; for I am proof against that title, and what shame else belongs to't: To him will I present them, there may be matter in it.