When Dad Hurts Mom: Helping Your Children Heal the Wounds of Witnessing Abuse

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Penguin, Mar 1, 2005 - Self-Help - 384 pages
Written by a therapist who specializes in abusive men, this guide reveals how abusers interact with and manipulate children—and how mothers can help their children recover from the trauma of witnessing abuse.

Can my partner abuse me and still be a good parent? Should I stay with my partner for my children's sake? How should I talk to my children about the abuse and help them heal? Am I a bad mother?

Mothers in physically or emotionally abusive relationships ask themselves these questions every day. Whether it’s physical or “just” emotional abuse, whether it’s aimed at them or you, whether they see or hear it, your kids need you.

This book, the first ever of its kind, shows mothers how to:

• Protect children and help them heal emotionally
• Provide love, support, and positive role models, even in the midst of abuse
• Increase their chances of winning custody
• Help their kids feel good about themselves

“A must-read for every mother who has been abused...it offers the knowledge women need to protect their children and help them heal.”—William S. Pollack, Ph.D., author of the national bestseller Real Boys
 

Contents

The Abusive Man and Your Children
21
Three Abusive Men as Parents
40
Four Understanding Your Childrens Inner World
60
Five Protecting Your Childrens Boundaries
91
The Abusive Man and Family Dynamics
109
Eight Maintaining Healthy Dynamics in Your Family
137
Nine To Leave or Not to Leave
156
Ten Dealing with Child Protective Services
171
Twelve Abusive Men as PostSeparation Parents
210
Thirteen Making Your Way in the Family Court System
234
Children Moving Forward
263
Fifteen Empowering Your Children
291
Sixteen Stopping the Cycle of Abuse
312
Resources
337
Hearing the Personal Accounts of Abused Mothers
357
137
359

The Abusive Man and Your Children
195

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About the author (2005)

Lundy Bancroft has over twenty-five years of experience in the fields of abuse, trauma, and recovery. He has published five books, including the bestseller Why Does He Do That?, Daily Wisdom for Why Does He Do That?, When Dad Hurts Mom, The Batterer as Parent, and Should I Stay of Should I Go?. Lundy has worked with over 1000 abusive men in his counseling groups. He has also served extensively as a custody evaluator, child abuse investigator, and expert witness, and has presented to 350 audiences across the U.S. and abroad.

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