In Anfwer to this, I fhall act like my Predeceffor Efop, and give him a Fable instead of a Reply. It happened one Day, as a out and honeft Maftiff (that guarded the Village where he lived against Thieves and Robbers) was very gravely walking, with one of his Puppies by his Side, all the little Dogs in the Street gather'd about him, and barked at him. The little Puppy was fo otfended at this Affront done to his Sire, that he asked him, Why he would not fall upon them, and tear them to Pieces? To which the Sire answered, with a great Compofure of Mind, If there were no Curs, I should be no Mastiff. The TATLER. [N° 116. Pars minima eft ipfa Puella fui. Ovid. From Tuesday Jan. 3. to Thursday Jan. 5. 1709. The Sheer-lane, January 4 HE Court being prepared for proceeding on the Caufe of the Petticoat, I gave Orders to bring in a Criminal who was taken up as the went out of the Puppet-Show about Three Nights ago, and was now ftanding in the Street with a great Concourfe of People about her. Word was brought me, that he had endeavoured twice or thrice to come in, but could not do it by reafon. of her Petticoat, which was too large for the Entrance of my Houfe, tho' I had ordered both the Folding-Doors to be thrown open for its Reception. Upon this, I defired the Jury of Matrons, who ftood at my Right Hand, to inform themfelves of her Condition, and know whether there there were any private Reafons why the might not make her Appearance feparate from her Petticoat. This was managed with great Difcretion, and had fuch an Effect, that upon the Return of the Verdict from the Bench of Matrons, I iffued Out an Order forthwith, That the Criminal fhould be ftripped of her Incumbrances, till she became little enough to enter my Houfe. I had before given Directions for an Engine of feveral Legs, that could contract or open it felf like the Top of an Umbrello, in order to place the Perticoat upon it, by which Means I might take a leifurely Survey of it, as it fhould appear in its proper Dimenfions. This was all done accordingly; and forthwith, upon the closing of the Engine, the Petticoat was brought into Court. I then directed the Machine to be fet upon the Table, and dilated in such a Manner as to fhow the Garment in its utmost Circumference; but my great Hall was too narrow for the Experiment, for before it was half unfolded, it defcribed fo immoderate a Circle, that the lower Part of it brush'd upon my Face as I fare in my Chair of Judicature. I then enquired for the Perfon that belonged to the Petticoat; and to my great Surprize, was directed to a very beautiful young Damfel, with fo pretty a Face and Shape, that Ibid her come out of the Crowd, and feated her upon a little Crock at my Left Hand. My pretty Maid, faid I, do you own your felf to have been the Inhabitant of the Garment before us? The Girl I found had good Senfe, and told me with a Smile, That notwithstanding it was her 2 own Petticoat, fhe fhould be very glad to fee an Example made of it; and that he wore it for no other Reafon, but that he had a Mind to look as big and burly as other Perfons of her Quality; That fhe had kept out of it as long as fhe could, and till fhe began to appear little in the Eyes of all her Acquaintance; That if the B laid. laid it afide, People would think she was not made like other Women. I always give great Allowances to the Fair Sex upon Account of the Fashion, and therefore was not difpleafed with the Defence of my pretty Criminal. I then ordered the Veft which stood before us to be drawn up by a Pully to the Top of my great Hall, and and afterwards to be spread open by the Engine it was placed upon, in fuch a Manner, that it formed a very fplendid and ample Canopy over our Heads, and covered the whole Court of Judicature with a kind of Silken Rotunda, in its Form not unlike the Cupolo of St. Paul's. I enter'd upon the whole Caufe with great Satis faction as I fate under the Shadow of it. The Council for the Petticoat was now called in, and ordered to produce what they had to fay against the popular Cry which was raised againft it. They answered the Objections with great Strength and Solidity of Argument, and expatiated in very florid Harangues, which they did not fail to fet off and furbelow (if I may be allowed the Metaphor) with many Periodical Sentences and Turns of Oratory. The chief Arguments for their Client were taken, firft, from the great Benefit that might arife to our Woollen Manufa&tury from this Invention, which was calculated as follows: The common Petticoat has not above Four Yards in the Circumference; whereas this ●ver our Heads had more in the Semi-diameter fo that by allowing it Twenty four Yards in the Circumference, the Five Millions of Woollen Petticoats, which (according to Sir William Retty) fuppoling what ought to be fuppofed in wellgoverned State, that all Petticoats are made of that Stuff, would amount to Thirty Millions of thofe of the ancient Mode. A prodigious Improvement of the Woollen Trade! and what could not fail to fink the Power of France in a few Years. Το To introduce the Second Argument, they beg ged Leave to read a Petition of the Rope-Makers, wherein it was reprefented, That the Demand for Cords, and the Price of them, were much rifen fince this Fafhion came up. At this, all the Company who were prefent lifted up their Eyes into the Vault, and I must confefs, we did difco ver many, Traces of Cordage which were interwoven in the Stiffening of the Drapery. A Third Argument was founded upon a Peti tion of the Greenland Trade, which likewife reprefented the great Confumption of Whale-bone which would be occafioned by the prefent Fashiona and the Benefit which would thereby accrue tom that Branch of the British Trade. To conclude, they gently touched' upon the Weight and Unweildinefs of the Garment, which they infinuated might be of great Ufe to preferves the Honour of Families. Thefe Arguments would have wrought very much upon me, (as I then told the Company in a long and elaborate Difcourfe) had I not confide red the great and additional Expence which fuch Fashions would bring upon Fathers and Husbands; and therefore by no Means to be thought of till fome Years after a Peace. I further urg'd, that it would be a Prejudice to the Ladies themselves, who could never expect to have any Money in the Pocket, if they laid out fo much on the Petticoat.. To this I added, the great Temptation it might give to Virgins, of acting in Security like married Women, and by that Means give a Check to Matrimony, an Institution always encouraged by wife Societies. At the fame Time, in Anfwer to the feveral Petitions produced on that Side, I fhewed one fubfcribed by the Women of feveral Perföns of Quality, humbly fetting forth, That fince the Introduction of this Mode, their respective Ladies: had (instead of beftowing on them their Caft 1 BS Gowns 2 3 Gowns) cut them into Shreds, and mixed them! I would not be understood, that (while I difcard I confider Woman as a beautiful Romantick Animal, that may be adorned with Furs and Feathers, Pearls and Diamonds, Ores and Silks. The Lynx fhall caft its Skin at her Feet to make her a Tippet; the Peacock, Parrat, and Swan, fhall pay Contributions to her Muff; the Sear fhall be fearched for Shells, and the Rocks for Gems; and every Part of Nature furnish out its Share towards the Embellishment of a Creature that is the most confummate Work of it. All this I fhall indulge them in, but as for the Petticoat I have been fpeaking of, I neither can, nor ill allow it.. The |