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my wife ?"

Ferdinand and Isabella, whose impolitic in which, being carried to Valladolid by zeal acquired for the Spanish crown the a novel mode of conveyance, he makes title of Most Catholic, at the cost of the his appearance in that city, where the depopulation and impoverishment of Spanish court was then residing. their kingdom. The woman's husband, who was by,

CHAPTER III. understood the drift of this reply, and The fame of poor Vidriera's madness, said to him, “ Friend licentiate Vidriera," with that of his answers and sayings, was (for he had given himself that name, to spread through all Castile, and coming denote his vitreous composition), “ thou to the knowledge of a grandee who was art more knave than madman."

residing at Valladolid, he wished to see “I care not a straw," returned he, him; and commissioned a friend of his, « so that I am not a fool.”

a gentleman residing at Salamanca, to One man asked him, what advice or send the mono-maniac to him. Accordconsolation he should give to a friend of ingly, meeting him one day in the street, his who was in great grief because his the gentleman said to him, wife had eloped with another man. “ Mr. licentiate Vidriera, you must

To which he answered, “ Tell him to know, that a great personage at court thank God for having permitted his wishes to see you." enemy to be carried from his house." To which he replied,—“Sir, you will

“ Then, must he not go in search of be pleased to make my excuses to that her ?” said the other.

great personage, for truly, I am not fit “Let him not think of it,” replied for court, being modest, and not knowVidriera ; “ for if he were to find her, ing how to flatter.” he would find an incontrovertible and Nevertheless the gentleman sent him perpetual testimony to his dishonour.” to the capital ; and to carry him thither,

Well,” said the other, “be it so: made use of this expedient. He had but what shall I do to keep at peace with him put in a pannier, such as glass was

carried in ; balancing the mule's load He answered" Give her whatever is with stones, and putting some articles of necessary for her, and let her command glass in the straw about him, to give him all thy household; but never suffer her to understand that they were carrying to command thee."

him along as a glass vessel. A boy said to him, “I want to run It was night when they arrived with away from my father, for he often beats him at Valladolid ;- they unpacked him me:"and he answered—“Mark well, my in the house of the nobleman who had son, that the stripes which fathers give sent for him, and who received him to their children are an honour, but those kindly, saying—“Welcome Mr. licenof the hangman are a disgrace."

tiate Vidriera. I hope you have had a Standing at the door of a church, he good journey ; I hope you are well.” saw a rustic entering it, one of those who, To which he answered—“ No journey boasted, like Sancho Panza, of being old is bad which we come to the end of, exChristians; that is, that their veins were cept that which leads to the gallows. I free from Moorish, and above all, Jewish am not very well; for my pulse and my blood; and behind him eame one of those brain have been at variance." who was not held in such good opinion. The next day, seeing on a number of The licentiate called aloud to the first, perches many falcons and other game saying, “ Stop Sunday, until Saturday is birds, for which there was a kind of rage gone by.”

among the Spanish nobility of that day, Another asked him, what he thought he said that the sport of falconry was of those good ladies whose profession it one worthy of princes and nobles; but is to facilitate a certain order of in- that they should at the same time retrigues. He answered, that the public member, that the pleasure exceeded the ones were by no means so bad as the profit by more than a thousand to one. private ;-meaning, no doubt, that it is Coursing, he said, was very fine sport, possible for a kind female relative or especially when the dogs were borrowed. friend, or even a servant, to bring a His host was entertained by his madclandestine correspondence to a crisis, ness and his satirical sallies; and let him almost as cleverly as if they had prac- go about the town, under the care and tised that kind of business all their lives. protection of a man who prevented him

For a fuller and better display of our from being annoyed by the boys, to madman's satirical humour, we must re- whom, as to all the town, he was known fer our readers to the ensuing chapter; in less than a week : and at every step,

to him.

in every street, and at every corner, he it! Then, twisting his lips, and arching answered all the questions that were put his brows, he rummages his pocket, and

from amongst a multitude of dirty, Amongst others, a student asked him worn-out scraps of paper, containing a if he was a poet; as it seemed to him shoal of other sonnets, he draws forth the that he had a genius for everything. one he means to recite, and at length

He answered,—“Hitherto, I have pronounces it with affectedly mellifluous neither been so foolish nor so fortu. tone. If his audience are so wicked or nate."

so ignorant as not to applaud it, then he “I don't know what you mean by says, Gentlemen, either you did not unbeing so foolish or so fortunate,” said derstand the sonnet, or I did not read it the student; and Vidriera replied- well; so I had better repeat it again ;

“ I have not been so foolish as to be- and be so kind as to pay a little more come a bad poet, nor so fortunate as to attention, for, upon my honour the sonnet be a good one.”

deserves it, it does indeed ;—and thereBeing asked by another student in upon he gives it out again, with fresh what estimation he held poets, he an- pauses, and fresh grimaces. swered, that he had great esteem for “ And then, to hear them criticising their art, but none for themselves. one another ! Again, what shall we say

They asked him his reason; and he of the barking of these upstart whelps at said, that of the vast number of poets the great and venerable ancients? And which there were in Spain, so few were

what of those who rail at some excellent good, that they were hardly to be men- and illustrious men, in whom shines tioned: and that therefore, there being forth the true light of poetry, and who, no good poets, there were none for him making it their recreation and diversion to esteem : but that he admired and re- from their many important occupations, vered the art of poetry, because in it therein testify their sublime genius, and were included all other arts; since all their exalted conceptions, in spite, and to others were subservient to it, contribu- the confusion of the ignorant and shortting to adorn and polish it, and develope sighted, who judge of what they do not its wonderful powers, to the advantage, know, and condemn what they do not the delight, and wonder of the world. understand ? And what of those who He continued :

1:-“I well know in what would have us value and esteem the dulmanner a good poet should be esteemed; ness that is pampered in palaces, or the for I remember those lines of Ovid- ignorance that clings for support to the

altar ?” Cura Deûm fuerunt olim regumqne Poetæ, Another time, they asked him what Præmiaque antiqui magna tolere chori, Sanctaque majestas, et erat venerabile pomen

was the reason that poets were, for the Vatibus; et largæ sæpe dabantur opes. most part, poor? He answered, that it Still less can I forget the high quality of they had it in their power to be rich, if

was because they chose to be so; for that poets, since Plato calls them interpreters they would profit by the opportunities of the gods; and Ovid says of them,

that occurred to them, since their misEst Deus in nobis, agitante calescimus illo. tresses were always extremely rich,—their And also,

hair being of gold, their foreheads of At sacri vates, et divům cura vocamur.

burnished silver, their eyes of emerald,

their teeth of ivory, their lips of coral, This is said of good poets: what shall their necks of transparent crystal, and be said of bad ones, of poetasters, but their tears were liquid pearls; and that that they are the most arrant idiots and whatever ground they trod upon, how coxcombs in the world !"

rude and sterile soever it might be, imHe added, “- -Oh! it is fine to see mediately produced roses and jessamines; a new fledged bard when he wants to that their breath was pure amber, musk, repeat a sonnet to some other bardlings and civet : all which things were marks about him, how he prepares them for the and evidences of their exceeding great infliction, saying- Gentlemen, will you wealth. obligeme by hearing a little sonnet [As a remarkable instance of the litewhich I happened to compose last night, rary folly of his time, which our licentiate and which, though it is good for nothing here satirises, I am tempted to quote a at all, yet, in my humble opinion, pos- sonnet, as translated by Lord Holland, sesses a grace—a turn-a peculiar kind from the Arcadia of Lope de Vega, the of-something—of which I cannot con- most popular of all the Spanish writers vey to you an idea, except by repeating of that day.


Not winter crystal ever was more clear, tic against the profession, had not the

That checks the current of the mountain application been general. The days are Not high-wrought ebony can blacker seem; gone by, in England, when it was thought Nor bluer doth the flax its blossom rear; a good joke to swindle an author : surely Not yellower doth the eastern gold appear; it is the same at this day, even in de

Nor purer can arise the scented steam
Of amber, which luxurious men esteem;

graded Spain ! Nor brighter scarlet doth the sea-shell bear, It happened the same day, that six Than in the forehead, eyebrows, eyes, and criminals were to be flogged through the

hair, The breath and lips of my most beauteous

streets; and when the crier began to queen,

publish their crimes, saying, “ The first Are seen to dwell, on earth, in face divine. for a thief,” Vidriera called out aloud to And since like all together is my fair, those who stood before him, saying,

Lifeless elsewhere, alive in her are seen Ice, ebon, flax, gold, amber, and carmine.

Get out of the way, my friends, lest

this reckoning should begin with some Here we have, indeed, a perfect inven- one of you.tory of charms; the formidable array of There was present a chairman, who nouns substantive at the end having, to said to him, “ Of us, Mr. Licentiate, borrow his lordship's comparison, very you have nothing to say :". much the aspect of a line in the Propria “ No,” answered Vidriera,“ except quæ maribus.

It may not be unfair to that each one of you knows more sins oppose to the above the following sonnet, than a confessor ; only, with this differfrom among those attributed to Lope's ence, that the confessor knows them, and great English cotemporary, Shakspeare. keeps them secret ; but you go and pubMy mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun;

lish them in the taverns.” Coral is far more red than her lips' red: This was overheard by a mule-driver If snow be white, why then her

breasts are dun; (for there were all sorts of people conIf hairs be wires, black wires grow on her tinually listening to him), and he said

head. I have seen roses damask'd, red and white, “Of us, Mr. Bottle, there is little or

But no such roses see I in her cheeks; nothing to be said, for we are honest And in some perfumes is there more delight Than in the breath that from my mistress

men, and necessary in the commonreeks.

wealth.” I love to hear her speak,-yet well I know To which the licentiate answered

That music hath a far more pleasing sound; " The honour of the master is reflected I grant I never saw a goddess go, My mistress, when she walks, treads on the

in the servant. Mark, therefore, whom ground:

you serve, and you shall know how much And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare As any she belied with false compare.]

you are honoured. Yon fellows are the

greatest blackguards upon the face of All this, and more, he said of bad the earth. Once, before I was a man of poets; but of good ones he always spoke glass, I went a journey on a hack mule ; in terms of the highest commendation. and I counted in it a hundred and twen

He once leaned, with great caution, ty-one blemishes, all in the first degree, lest he should break himself, against the and inimical to the welfare of mankind. door of a bookseller's shop, and said to All mule-drivers are partly pimps or him-“ This trade of yours would please bullies, partly thieves, and partly bufme well, but for one fault which it foons. If their masters (for so they call

those who ride their mules) be simple, The bookseller asked him what that unsuspecting people, they practise all was; and he answered—“ The grimaces sorts of tricks upon them. If they are you make when you buy the copyright foreigners, they rob them; if students, of a book, and the trick which you put they curse them; if monks, they swear upon the author if he happens to publish at them; but if soldiers, they tremble at it at his own cost; since, instead of fifteen them. hundred copies, you have three thousand “ They and sailors, waggoners, and printed; and when the author thinks, carriers, lead an extraordinary sort of good man, that his own copies are selling, life, and one peculiar to themselves. it is yours that are disposed of.”

The waggoner passes the greater part Here, one cannot help remarking how of his life within the space of a yard and small a share of the boasted Castilian a half, as it cannot be much more from honour must have fallen to the lot of the yoke of his mules to the front of his Spanish publishers in the days of Cer- waggon. One half of the time he is vantes; for it is not to be supposed that singing, and the other half swearing, or so broad and unqualified a charge would giving the word of command to his have been brought by our rational luna- mules ; and if a wheel happens to sink


in the mire, two oaths are then of more simus de terrâ creavit medicinam, et vir service to him than three mules.

prudens non abhorrebit illam. *

Thus 6 Sailors are a rude and heathenish saith Ecclesiasticus, of physic, and of tribe that know no language but that good physicians; and of bad ones might which is used on ship-board. In fair be said exactly the reverse ; for there is weather they are diligent, and in foul no set of men more hurtful to the comweather they are idle. In a storm, many monwealth than they. The judge may of them command, and few of them obey. deny or delay justice; the advocate may Their god is their mess, and their pas- exert his powers to establish an unjust time to see the passengers sea-sick. claim; the tradesman may cheat us of

“ Carriers are a set of men that are our money ;-in short, all those with divorced from the bed-clothes, and mar- whom we necessarily have dealings, may ried to the pack-saddle. They are so injure us in some degree: but to take diligent, and fearful of being too late, our lives without fear of punishment is that rather than lose their journey, they what none of them can do. Only the will lose their souls. Their music is the physician can, and does, slay us with noise of the mortar, in which they bruize safety and impunity, without unsheaththeir grain ; their sauce is hunger; their ing any other weapon than a recipe: nor matins, to get up and feed their mules ; are his offences to be discovered; because and their masses, never to hear any.' they are forthwith put under ground.

When he said this, he was at the door “I remember that once, when I was a of an apothecary's shop (the apothecary man of flesh, and not of glass, as I am being, as in those days he was in England now, a certain patient dismissed a secondalso, merely a retailer of drugs and com- rate physician whom he had employed, pounder of medicines); and, turning to and took the advice of another; a few the master of it, he said—“Sir, yours is days after, the former happening to pass a salutary calling, if it were not so hos- by the shop to which the latter sent his tile to the lamps.”

prescriptions, asked the apothecary how “ In what way is it an enemy to the his late patient was going on, and lamps ?” asked the apothecary; and whether the other physician had preVidriera answered — " Because, when scribed any purgative for him. The any oil is wanting, you supply it from apothecary answered that he had a prethat of the lamps, which is nearest at scription for a purge which was to be hand ; and there is another thing in this taken the next day: he asked to look at trade of yours, enough to ruin the repu- it; and seeing that at the bottom of it tation of the most skilful physician in the was written Sumat diluculo, he said — All world.”

that this purge contains, appears to me Being asked what it was, he answered, to be very well

, excepting only this dithat there was an apothecary who, be- luculo; for it is too humid."" cause he was afraid to say that there was What a picture is here presented to us, anything wanting in his shop which the of the state of medical practice in Spain physician prescribed, substituted for the in those days, which were also the days things ordered in the prescription, others of barber-surgery and barbarous physic which he thought had the same virtue in England. Since then, every reader and quality, though they really had not : is aware that we have far outrun the

that the medicine being ill-com- Peninsular professors of the healing art. pounded, had an effect quite the reverse In Spain, the faculty of medicine has of that which it would have had, if mixed

never been in honour. It is not there according to the prescription;-a result as in England, where among the memwhich many a poor Englishman at this bers of that faculty have been some of day experiences from the ignorance and our most amiable scholars, most accomcarelessness of country druggists, though plished writers, and brightest ornaments in the present state of the profession, of society. But indeed, were the science little of that kind can be apprehended from any regular apothecary.

* In the English Apocrypha, thus:He was then asked what he thought Honour a physician with the honour due of physicians; to which he replied:- unto him, for the uses which ye may have of “ Honora medicum propter necessi- him; for the Lord hath created him.

For of the Most High cometh healing, and tatem, etenim creavit eum altissimus.

he shall receive honour of the king. A Deo enim est omnis medicina, et à The skill of the physician shall lift up his Rege accipiet donationem. Disciplina head; and in the sight of great men he shall

be in admiration. medici exaltabit caput illius, et in con

The Lord hath created medicines out of the spectu magnatum collaudabitur. Altis- earth, and he that is wise will not abhor them.




H. W


in greater esteem, and were its professors ever so enlightened and skilful, the thick darkness of superstition in which that After all the talk about the mountain most catholic country is involved, would billows of the ocean, the height of waves oppose an invincible obstacle to its suc

in a storm is only about twenty-four cessful practice. What can medicine feet. Yet I have known practical sailors, hope to accomplish in a country where, who rated them at a hundred. although, after enduring many a pang, she did, indeed, some time ago expunge the use of bark and inoculation from the A German poet, having lately written a catalogue of mortal sins, yet if the plague gastronomic song upon the pastry of one appears in a city, the physicians are of the best pastrycooks of his place, the afraid to declare it infectious; and the latter thought he could not better testify only measures taken to prevent its ra

his gratitude, than by sending him one vages, are, to offer up certain prayers, of the objects he had celebrated in his and to bless the four cardinal winds with song. The poet was at first enchanted a fragment of the true cross, an image of with the work; but,'O grief on finishing the Virgin, or some relic equally potent the last morsel! he recognised in the -and where often in individual cases, paper on which it lay when baked, the under the idea of flattering the humour. copy of his song with which he had of some tutelary saint, or of one who is testified his homage to the pastrycook. supposed to take especial interest in the: In a great rage he ran to his shop, and cure of that particular disease, the very accused him with the crime of læse means are resorted to, which in the poeticæ. “Oh, sir,” replied the artist, course of nature are calculated either to not in the least disconcerted, “why so aggravate the malady, or to produce a angry? I have only followed your exrelapse.


; you made a song upon my pastry, (Concluded at p. 172).

and I have made pastry upon your


If a person has a mind to be witty, he

must shew it off neatly, or it will excite It is generally known that cold coun- ridicule and contempt, instead of approtries have fewer species of plants than bation and merriment. He must like

A learned botanist shews wise carefully avoid personal observations that this difference constantly follows which may be considered in the least dethe progression of the temperature. In gree offensive, lest he excite disgust and Spitzbergen there are only 30 species of hatred :—The following has been conplants; in Lapland, 534; in Iceland, sidered a pretty good specimen of wit : 553; in Sweden, 1,500; in Branden- A party of young friends were dining burg, 2,000; in Piedmont, 3,800; in together at a tavern, and, as might be Jamaica, 4,000; and in Madagascar, expected at such a meeting, were all in 5,000.

high good humour. One of the waiters

made a false step; he tried hard to gain In his march from Gaza to Jaffa, Buo- his balance, but in vain, and down he naparte having halted at Ibna, ordered tumbled. Upon which, one of the comthe sheikh of the village to furnish him pany, who had observed him, cried out, with a hundred oxen, a hundred loads of “ Ah, never mind; you fell not-withcorn, and a hundred measures of flour. standing.Shortly afterwards, an opThe Bedouin, forced to obey, humbly portunity occurred for the waiter to regave what the French general demanded. pay this piece of wit by another. Having The knife was already at the throat of been in the same capacity at one of the several of the oxen, when the sheikh, universities, he had learned many words bursting into tears at the sight of his made use of there. As soon as the cloth cattle ready to perish, said to Buona- was removed, the witty gentleman called parte, “O Sultan, do you see what your out, “ Waiter, bring us a bottle of “HIC soldiers are about to do?" Touched by HÆC Hoc.” Waiting some time, and no his tears and his simplicity, Napoleon wine appearing, he called the waiter restored him his oxen, his corn, and his again. He came,—“Well, where's the flour, and contented himself with receiv. HOC?"_“I beg your pardon sir,” said ing his hospitality. Correspondance de the waiter ; “but I thought, as you l'orient par Michaud et Poujoulat. ordered it, you declined it !"


warm ones.


H. J.

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