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another—I'm sure I made it out seven- Helgho! Fathers have many troubles, teen when I was reckoning up last and I can't help thinking sometimes that Sunday morning at church; there must old bachelors are not such wonderful be another somewhere; let me see again; fools after all. They go to their pillows wife, wife's sisters, boys, girls-oh its at night with no cares on their minds to myself! Faith, I have so many to think keep them awake ; and, when they have of and provide for, that I forget myself once got asleep, nothing comes to disturb half the time. Yes, that makes it- their repose—nothing short of the house seventeen. Seventeen people to feed being on fire, can reach their peaceful every day is no joke! and somehow or condition. No getting up in the cold to other they all have most furious appe- walk up and down the room for an hour tites ; but then, bless their hearts, it's or two, with a squalling young varlet, as pleasant to see them eat. What a havoc my luck has been for the last five or six they do make with the buckwheat-cakes weeks. It 's an astonishing thing to perof a morning, to be sure ! Now poor ceive what a passion our little Louisa Tom knows nothing of all this. There exhibits for crying ; so sure as the clock he lives all alone by himself in a board- strikes three she begins, and there's no ing-house, with nobody near him that getting her quiet again until she has cares a brass farthing whether he lives or fairly exhausted the strength of her lungs dies. No affectionate wife to nurse him with good, straight-forward screaming. and coddle him up when he's sick ; no I can't for the life of me understand why little prattlers about him to keep him in the young villains don't get through all a good humour-no dawning intellects, their squalling and roaring in the daywhose development he can amuse himself time, when I am out of the way. Then with watching day after day-nobody to again, what a delightful pleasure it is to study his wishes, and keep all his comforts be routed out of one's first nap, and sent ready. Confound it, hasn't that woman got off post haste for the doctor, as I was, on back from the market yet? I feel remark. Monday night, when my wife thought ably hungry. I don't mind the boy's Sarah had got the croup, aud frightened being coddled and messed if my wife me half out of my wits with her lamentalikes it, but there 's no joke in having tions and fidgets. By the way there's the breakfast kept back for an hour. O, the doctor's bill to be paid soon; his colby the way, I must remember to buy all lector always pays me a visit just before those things for the children to-day. Christmas. Brother Tom has no doctors Christmas is close at hand, and my wife to fee, and that certainly is a great has made out a list of the presents she comfort. Bless my soul, how the time means to put in their stockings. More slips away! Past nine o'clock and no expense and their school-bills coming breakfast yet—wife messing with Dick, in too; I remember before I was married and getting the three girls and their two I used to think what a delight it would brothers ready for school. Nobody be to educate the young rogues myself; thinks of me, starving here all this time. but a man with a large family has no What the plague has become of my newstime for that sort of amusement. I won- paper, I wonder ? that young rascal Tom der how old my young Tom is; let me has carried it off, I dare say, to read in see, when does his birthday come? next the school, when he ought to be poring month, as I'm a Christian; and then he over his books. He's a great torment will be fourteen. Boys of fourteen con- that boy. But no matter; there's a great sider themselves all but men, now-a-days, deal of pleasure in married life, and if and Tom is quite of that mind, I see. some vexations and troubles do come with Nothing will suit his exquisite feet but its delights, grumbling won't take them Wellington boots, at thirty shillings a pair; away ; nevertheless, brother Tom, I'm and his mother has been throwing out not very certain but that you have done hints for some time, as to the propriety quite as wisely as I, after all. of getting a watch for him-gold, of

Silver was quite good enough for me when I was half a score years older than he is, but times are awfully At the last assizes for the department of changed since my younger days. Then, the Eure et Loire, a man named FerI believe in my soul, the young villain rier, who was found guilty of incendiar. has learned to play billiards; and three ism, was sentenced to hard labour for or four times lately when he has come in life, and at the expiration of his senlate at night, his clothes seemed to be tence to be placed under the surveillance strongly perfumed with cigar smoke. of the police.






suppose there is ink enough wasted by a constant newspaper scribbler to drown

(Translated from the French). him completely at the end of a year-in which way would it be most profitably The reign of Napoleon, worried and employed?

ransacked as it has been by the writers Title-pages would be a curious study. of memoirs, recollections and histories, is The modesty of some is singularly re

a mine that still contains a multitude of markable. For instance, “A popular rich, and, as yet, unexplored veins. The Treatise," never read but by two persons history of the secret associations that in the world, the author and the com- sprang up during the latter days of the positor-by the last from sheer neces- empire, would form a most curious and sity.

interesting volume, and there would be Habit regulates our laughter as well

no lack of materials wherewith to fill it. as all things else. I have seen one read The Society of the United Brothers through a volume of the merriest jokes alone, would furnish pages of the most in the world, without relaxing the small. intense and absorbing interest, while est muscle; but let the stalest of them nothing could appeal more forcibly to be retailed by a jokemonger, and a horse the imagination, than the strange and laugh is the compliment. Such a com- dramatic episodes connected with its modity is laughter!

existence, and the details of its mysterious Ought not every age, according to initiations. Perhaps an hundred incithe increase of knowledge, to become dents might be related as striking and more garrulous ? so that, probably, a

well conceived as the following. youth of sixteen has now talked more

An officer of the French army, having than ever did his grandfather of sixty.

incurred the suspicion or resentment of Carry out this idea; talking is breath, the emperor, thought it expedient to and in one minute, in this talkative age, abandon his country, and take refuge in there is breath enough expended to waft one of the Austrian provinces; and here a Spanish armada, to compose two or

he became advised of and initiated into three whirlwinds, and, perhaps, one a society, the object of whose formation moderately strong tornado-to lengthen was to hurl to the ground the Colossus, out the lives of a thousand men to the whose arm smote and governed the whole age of Methuselah, and to supply twenty continent of Europe with a sceptre of newspapers with puffs for å whole iron. One day, a letter was brought to

him, containing the usual signs and passDistinguished men are not remark. words of the society, and requiring him able for very great longitude, or very

to repair, on the following night, to a great brevity of person. The best in- secluded spot in a forest, where he would tellects are generally lodged about five

meet some of his associates. He went, feet above ground.

but found nobody. The orders were A man may do great things, and yet repeated four times, at intervals of a few not be a great man. Which the man days; and four times the officer sought might have said when he leaped from the appointed place, with no better suc. the monument.

cess than at first. On the fifth night of Two maxims, both of which look very his appearance at the rendezvous, after wise :

waiting some time, he was on the point First—He who devotes himself to the of returning, when loud cries suddenly minutiæ of knowledge, resembles the arrested his attention. Drawing his man who proposed to spend his life in sword, he hastened to the spot whence counting a bushel of sand.

they seemed to proceed, and was fired Secondly-Minute studies are not to upon by three men, who, seeing that he be despised.

remained unwounded, instantly took to The careful examination of one flight; but at his feet lay a bleeding drop of water, with the microscope, corpse, in which, by the feeble light will give us a higher notion of the uni- of the moon, he in vain sought for tokens verse, than the contemplation of the of animation. He was yet bending over vastest ocean.

the dead man, when a detachment of chasseurs, summoned, apparently, by the noise of the pistols that had been discharged at himself, came suddenly up, and arrested him as the assassin. He




was loaded with chains, tried the next moon, are exhibited to the wondering day, and condemned to die for his sup- eyes of aged spinsters, and ignorant Alipposed crime. His execution was ordered pant youths, who have stolen from beto take place at midnight.

hind the counter to run and quaff at the Surrounded by the ministers of justice, fountain of knowledge. Sometimes by he was led, at a slow pace, by the light way of variety, a lecture is given coniof torches, and amid the funereal tolling piled from the hundred-and-one cycloof bells, to a vast square, in the centre of pædias with which the book-market is which was a scaffold, environed by horse- overstocked, and then the facts therein men; beyond these were a numerous contained are lauded by the reviewers, group of spectators, who muttered im- and the “ exquisite tact” and “ patiently, and, at intervals, sent forth a mate skill” and “ felicitous expression" cry of abhorrence. The victim mounted of the lecturer are cried up by the sage the scaffold, his sentence was read, and who undertakes to point out the literary the last act of the tragedy was on the tit-bits to the “ discerning public !” point of fulfilment, when an officer let In the Athenæum Journal for Febru. fall a word of hope. An edict had just ary 7th, is a review of the last volume of been promulgated by the government, the Transactions of “ The Society for the offering pardon and life to any condemned Encouragement of Arts, doc.” This vo. criminal, who should disclose the mem- lume contains, among other papers, an bers and secret tokens of a particular article, on “ tanning and leather-dressassociation, the existence of which was ing,” by the secretary, Mr. Aikin, whose suspected; it was that of which the learning and that of the reviewer in the Frenchman, to whom these words were Athenæum, are about on a par. Hear addressed, had lately become a member. the worthy secretary on buff leather,He was questioned, but denied all know- and judge, gentlest of readers, of the abiledge; they urged him to confess, with lity of either, to instruct the young and promises of additional reward—his only the ignorant. reply was a demand of immediate death “ Formerly, when metallic armour —and his initiation was completed. All was going out of use, but while it was that had passed was but a terrible trial still considered advisable to cover the of his fidelity; those who surrounded body in battle with a better protection him were members of the society, and than ordinary clothing, a species of very every incident that has been described, thick but pliant leather was made from from the time of the first summons to the hide of the urus, or wild bull, at that the last fearful moment of expected death, time plentiful in the forests of Poland, was only a step in the progress of the Hungary, and the middle and southern fearful experiment, by which they sought provinces of Russia. The name by which to determine the trust-worthiness of the this animal was commonly known was neophyte.

that of Buffe, * whence is derived the

term buff-leather, as designating the hide CASTIGATIONES.-No. III. of this animal prepared in a particular (For the Parlerre).

way. The Russia Company, which

was chartered by Henry VIII., " Anon, I snarle and speake, after the fashion obliged to import a certain number of of the Cynics.”

• buffe-hides,' which were manufactured The Reigne of Follie, 1632.

into leather for military use. Real buffSome French poet (we think it is Boi- leather would turn the edge of a sword, leau) has somewhere said, that there is and was pistol proof. The time of its no fool so great as to be without his fellow. principal use in this country was during An unique fool would, indeed, be a rare the great civil war in the reign of Charles biped. So it is with authors and review. I., after which it gradually declined, and ers : there is no stupid book that has not at length became obsolete. Besides the been reviewed by a more stupid critic. hides of the urus, I believe those of the Of all our literary prigs, the reviewers are real buffalo of Italy were employed for the most priggish; but if you desire to the same purpose. The buff-leather of see conceit and self-sufficiency in “ high modern times is prepared from cow-hide, perfection,” take an opportunity of pay- and is used for little else than soldiers' ing a visit to some society for the im- belts.” provement of inspired mechanics, where Now we beg to inform these gentlemodels of wondrous machines for cal- men, that the very first armour used in culating the number of bulls' tails that would reach from our earth to the

* Query-Bæuf? Printer's Devil.


this country, was made of the skins of was forced to it by others. At length,
animals ; and a little research (but this she discovered to him her inclinations,
is not the age of research) would have and offered him all she was worth, But
told them, that the reign of one of as he attended more to his books than to
our Saxon kings, a military accoutre- any other pastime, he did not at all re-
ment maker was heavily fined for making turn the lady's affection: and she, find-
an aketon of cow's-hide instead of the ing herself rejected, and, as she thought,
hide of a bull, which was always required disliked, and that she could not soften
for that purpose. Long after the knights the rock of Tomas's will by any ordi-
were clad in mail, the common soldiers nary means, resolved to try other means,
wore armour of tough bull's-hide. Buff in her opinion more efficacious, and of
leather was, we believe, used more in the power to procure the fulfilment of her
reigns of Elizabeth and James, than in wishes.
the time of “the great civil war.” As Accordingly by the advice of a Mo-
to turning the edge of a sword, it would risco woman (those descendants of the
do no such thing. We have seen and Arabians being then considered by the
handled the buff-coat of that period, and superstitious in Spain as the most deeply
know that it would not turn the edge skilled in the mystery of charms), she
of a sword, though it might perhaps gave Tomas, in a Toledan quince, some
resist the point of one. We caution all drug or mixture of drugs, believing
gentlemen inclined to the amiable vice of that what she thus administered would
duelling, not to take Mr. Aikin's opi- force him to like her: “as if,” observes
nion on buff-leather, for, although a buff our author, “there existed any herbs,
under-waistcoat may be very easily con- drugs, or incantations, of power to in-
cealed, depend upon it, a bullet would fluence free-will." Yet this irrational and
very speedily, and perhaps very tragically injurious notion is not extinct, even in
demonstrate that “the hide of the urus England, among the lower orders; al-
is not pistol proof. Verily, the Minerva though, as experience has repeatedly
of our age could only be depicted by shewn, the deluded beings who give
Thomas Hood*_our Magnus Apollo these amatory meats or drinks, do nei-
is HUMBUG !!

K. ther more nor less than administer poison

to those who take them.
THE RATIONAL LUNATIC OF that immediately his hands and feet be-

Tomas ate so largely of the quince,


to shake as if he had the palsy; and [From the untranslated works of Cervantes]. it was many hours before he came to (For the Parterre).

himself again; at the end of which he

was like one stupified; and said in a “ Sounding in moral virtue was his speech.” faltering voice, that a quince which he


had eaten had poisoned him, and told

who had given it him. The officers of CHAP. II.

police, being informed of the occurrence, At that time, there happened to come

went in search of the offender; but she, to the city an accomplished courtesan. finding the evil issue of her expedient, This decoy (says our author) attracted had absconded, and never more appeared. all the birds of the place, so that there

Tomas kept his bed for six months; in was hardly a student that did not visit

which he was reduced almost to a skeleher. They told Tomas that this lady ton, and it was evident that all his said she had been in Italy and in Flan

senses were disturbed. Though all posand to see whether he knew her, sible remedies were applied, they rehe paid her a visit ; whether or no he moved only his corporal infirmity, and took the Horas de Nuestra Senora with

not that of his understanding; for him, mine author saith not. However, though he recovered his bodily health, the consequence of this visit was, that yet he was possessed by the strangest the lady fell in love with Tomas; but kind of madness that had ever been he, not at all aware of it, would not enter her house again, except when he made entirely of glass: so that when any

The poor man imagined that he was * Apropos, of Thomas Hood. We are very

one came up to him, he made a terrible sorry-sincerely sorry, to perceive symptoms scream; and entreated, in the most raof a falling off in the Comic Annual for the year tional terms, that they would not come 1835. Mr. Hood has more originality than half the writers of his time.

near him, lest they should break him, build his reputation on the praises of reviewers for that really and truly he was not liké

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other men, but was entirely of glass, that was the fittest and safest bedding from head to foot.

for men of glass. When it thundered, To divest him of this strange idea, he trembled as if his bones were full many, without attending to his cries and of quicksilver, and went out into the entreaties, approached and embraced fields; nor would he enter a town again him, to convince him that he would not until the storm was over. break. But the consequence was, that His friends kept him confined for a the poor fellow would throw himself considerable time; but seeing that his on the ground, crying out piteously, infirmity did but increase, they deterand then fell into a swoon, from which mined to accede to his request that they he scarcely recovered in four hours; would let him go at large : he then went and when he did recover, he renewed through the city, exciting the wonder his prayers and supplications that they and pity of all who knew him. The would not approach him again.

boys soon gathered about him ; but he He requested that they would speak kept them off with his stick, and desired to him at a distance, and put what that they would speak without coming questions to him they chose ; for that he close to him, lest he should break; for should answer all with better under- that, as being a man of glass, he was standing as a man of glass than as a very liable to be broken. man of flesh; since glass being of subtler The boys in the streets, who are the and more delicate substance, the mind most perverse creatures in existence, in would operate through it more quickly spite of his requests and exclamations, and efficaciously than through the gross began to pelt him with rags, and even and earthy body.

with stones, to try whether he really was Some, wishing to try whether what he of glass as he said. But he made so said was true, asked him a number of many and such lamentable cries, that difficult questions, to which he answered men who heard them were induced to unpremeditatedly, and with great acute- chide and chastise the boys to make them

This excited the wonder of the desist from pelting him. most learned men of the university, and But one day, when they were teazing the professors of medicine and philoso- him very much, he turned round to them, phy; to find that a person possessed by and said :-“What do you want with so extraordinary a madness as to think me, you troublesome vermin, buzzing that he was made of glass, had at the about me like so many flies ? same time so good an understanding as take me for the Mons Testatus at Rome, to answer every question with propriety that you throw so many pots and tiles at and sagacity.

Tomas begged that they would give He was always followed by many him some case in which to put that brit- people, that they might hear him scold, tle vessel, his body, lest in putting on and answer everybody ; and the boys at any tight garment he should break him- last thought it better to listen to him self: and so, they gave him a loose grey than to pelt him. coat, and a very wide shirt, in which he Once as he was passing through the old dressed himself with great caution, and clothes market of Salamanca, an old. tied a cotton cord about his waist. He clothes-woman said to him, “Upon my would not wear shoes of any sort : and soul, Mr. Licentiate, I am sorry for your the mode which he adopted of receiving misfortune; but I cannot cry.” food without any one's approaching him, He turned to her, and, with great sowas, to fix at the end of a stick a little lemnity,, said, “ Filiæ Hierusalem, plobasket, in which they put him such fruit rate super vos et super filios vestros.' as was in season. He would eat neither (Daughters of Jerusalem, weep not for fish nor flesh; nor would he drink, ex- me, but for yourselves and for your cept at a spring or a river, and then children)-insinuating by this quotation only out of the palm of his hands. from the gospel, as the reader conversant When he went through the streets he with Spanish history will perceive, that walked in the middle of them, looking those dealers in cast-off garments were up at the roofs, apprehensive lest some (as is likely) either disguised Jews, or tile should fall upon him and shatter descended from such of that persecuted him. In summer he slept in the fields, people as had preferred making an outin the open air ; and in winter, he con- ward profession of christianity, to sharing trived to get into an inn-yard; and in the expatriation and the attendant there in some loft he would bury him- miseries of their unfortunate brethren self in straw up to the throat, saying, expelled from Spain in the days of

Do you

me ?"

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