obeyed; but, as he tried the smallest boot on his largest leg, he exclaimed petulantly, "Confound the fellow! I ordered him to make one larger than the other; and, instead of that, he has made one smaller than the other." DISTINCTIONS-It is idle to talk of the abolition of distinctions, for Nature herself has created them. A great and happy change, however, is taking place in our estimate of these honors. Every day adds to our reverence of intrinsic, and diminishes our respect for extrinsic superiority. Patents of nobility, signed by the hand of God, are rising in general esteem, while those merely signed by the hand of a king are declining. Hereditary distinctions, whether of an exalting or degrading aspect, generally deteriorate their objects. It was once questioned, whether a villein, or serf, could enter heaven, and the very doubt rendered him unfit for it, just as the certainty of succeeding to honors often disqualifies their inheritor from wearing them becomingly. DISTRESS even when positive or superlative, is still only comparative. "Such is the pressure of the times in our town," said a Birmingham manufacturer to his agent in London, "that we have good workmen who will get up the inside of a watch for eighteen shillings."- "Pooh! that is nothing, compared to London," replied his friend; "we have boys here who will get up the inside of a chimney for sixpence!" DRAM-A small quantity taken in large quantities by those who have few grains of sobriety, and no scruples of conscience. Horace Walpole records, that when one of his contemporaries died, in consequence, as it was currently said, of an over-addiction to brandy, the escutcheon affixed to the house of the deceased exhibited the common motto of "Mors janua vita;" upon which a wag observed-"Surely there has been a mistake in this inscription: it should have been ' Mors aqua vitæ.' DRAMA-MODERN-Every sort of drama, except tragedy and comedy; such as melo-drama, hippo-drama, &c. DREAMS The invisible visions to which we are awake in our sleep; the life of death; the sights seen by the blind; the sounds heard by the deaf; the language of the dumb; the sensations of the insensible; a mystery which may afford us some vague notion of the undeveloped powers of the human mind, waiting, perhaps, the longer sleep of death, before they receive a full expansion. Objects thus presented to us can only be a wild combination, we are told, of those with which we have been previously conversant; but in these revelations, there seems to be an occasional apocalypse of another world, or, at least, a different state of being from our present existence. What are the prevalent dreams of persons born blind? This subject has not excited inquiry, but it seems of a nature to deserve it, as it might lead to some very curious results. Are forms or figures presented to them, either animate or inanimate, and if so, do they bear any resemblance to their originals? Every thing thus flitting before the mind's eye must be a creation, not a recollection, to him who can only have gathered vague notions of form from the touch, and can have no idea of color. The dreams of maniacs, could they be detailed, would supply matter for not less interesting speculation. We may imagine them to embody forth all that is gorgeous, magnificent, rapturous, and paradisiacal; or to evoke the most hideous and terrific phantasmagoria, according to the different moods of their madness. Somnambulism, which may be termed an intermediate affection between dreaming and insanity, would also present many mental diagnostics, of the most curious character, could we "observingly distil them out." It has been asserted by medical writers, who have attentively considered the subject, that our senses and organs sink to sleep in the following succession:-1st, the sense of sight; 2d, the taste; 3d, the smell; 4th, the hearing; 5th, the touch. The powers of the mind may, in the mean time, be inert, active or deranged, according to circumstances; but they are never altogether coherent. The two principal theories of dreams suppose them to originate wholly in direct impressions on the senses during sleep; or to be ascribable to the supremacy of the mind, which, being unfettered by objects of sense, takes a wider range. According to this latter supposition, how inconceivably eccentric and illimitable may be its flight, when it is released from its earthy tegument, and revels in the boundless wilds of imagination, as a liberated balloon soars into the invisible empyreum! To illustrate total absence of judgment in all these phantasms, Dr. Johnson used to relate the following dream. He imagined himself to be engaged in a contest of wit, before a large literary party, with an adversary whose superior talents compelled him to retreat, filled with shame and mortification. "Had my judgment," argued the Doctor, "been as clear and active as my other mental powers, I should have recollected that my own head had furnished all the repartees of my supposed antagonist, and that I could not fail to be the victor, however the battle might terminate." An exceedingly corpulent man, who had suffered much from the intense heat of summer, dreamt, one sultry night, that for the sake of cooling himself, he got out of his flesh, and sat in his skeleton, suffering the air to blow through his ribs; a mode of refrigeration which he found so delicious, that on awaking he could almost have cried, like Caliban, to fall asleep again. DRESS-External gentility, frequently used to disguise internal vulgarity. Wise men will neither be the first to adopt a new fashion, nor the last to abandon an old one; for an affectation of singularity is only the desire to set, instead of following, the mode. Eccentricity of appearance is the contemptible ambition of being personally known to those who do not know you by name. We may hold it slavish to dress according to the judgment of fools, and the caprice of coxcombs; but are not we ourselves both, when we are singular in our attire? Mean, indeed, though, doubtless, very just, must be the self-opinion of that man who can only hope to achieve distinction by the cut of his garments. The proverb tells us, to cut our coat according to our cloth; but we are nowhere enjoined to cut out a character by a coat. Malvezzi says—“ i vestimenti negli animali sono molto se curi segni della loro natura; negli uomini del lor cervello." This may be illustrated by rags as well as finery. Socrates told Antisthenes, who affected shabbiness, that he saw his pride through the holes in his coat; and the gay attire of the coxcomb only serves to prove the more clearly that he is "a leaden rapier in a golden sheath -a cork leg in a silken stocking. DRUNKENNESS-A beastly, detestable, and often punished vice, in the ignorant lower orders, whose ebriety is thrust upon the public eye as they reel along the streets,--but softened into "a glass too much," or being "a little elevated," when a well-educated gentleman is driven home in his own carriage, in a state of insensibility, and put to bed by his own servants. Droll, though not very logical or conclusive, was the reply of the tipsy Irishman, who, as he supported himself by the iron railings of Merrion-square, was advised by a passenger to betake himself home. "Ah, now, be aisy; I live in the square; isn't it going round and round, and when I see my own door come up, won't I pop into it in a jiffey?" DUELS-Revenging yourself upon one who has injured you, by giving him a chance to take your life. Oftentimes, too, the injury is as fanciful as the so-called satisfaction is silly. The occasions of duels are as various as the follies of the human head. In the eleventh century, two knights, clad in complete armor, fought on horseback to determine the proper form of public worship. The great founder of the Company of Jesus, Ignatius Loyola, fought a duel with a Moor whom he had vainly attempted to convert by argument. Barrington records a laughable duel fought by a Mr. Frank Shelton with an exciseman, for running the butt end of a horsewhip down his throat the night before, while he lay drunk and sleeping with his mouth open. He notes that, during the preliminary negotiations, the exciseman insisted that snoring at a dinner-table was a personal offence to every gentleman in company, and refused to apologize. The duello was once a very prevalent and favorite mode of administering justice in Ireland; and not being considered so brutal as bull-fights, or other beastly amusements of that nature, it was authorized by law, and frequently performed before the high authorities and their ladies; bishops, judges, and other persons high in office generally honoring the spectacle with their presence. Thus an old chronicler relates, how two Irish gentlemen, Connor MacCormac O'Connor, and Teige MacKilpatrick O'Connor, fought with broadswords and skeans (large knives) in the Castle of Dublin, in the presence of the archbishop and all the chief authorities and ladies of rank. They had hewed at each other for a full hour, when Mr. MacKilpatrick O'Connor happening to miss his footing, Mr. Cormac O'Connor began to cut his head off very expertly with a knife; which, after a good deal of cutting, struggling, and hacking, he was at length so fortunate as to effect; and having got his head clear off the shoulders, he handed it to the lords-justices, (who were present,) and by whom the head and neck were most graciously received. DUELLING-how to avoid. This desirable immunity may be accomplished by a pleasanter method than by plagiarizing Mr. O'Connell's oath,-videlicet, by falling in love, when you may decline a challenge after the following fashion of one of our old amatory poets ""Tis not the fear of death or smart, Makes me averse to fight, But to preserve a tender heart, Not mine but Celia's right. "Then let your fury be supprest, Not me, but Celia, spare, Your sword is welcome to my breast, DUELLIST-A moral coward, seeking to hide the pusillanimity of his mind, by affecting a corporeal courage. Instead of discharging a pistol, the resort of bullies and bravoes, the really brave soul will dare to discharge its duty to God |