Ros. No, faith, die by attorney. The poor world is almost six thousand years old. and in all this time there was not any man died in his own person, videlicet, in a love cause. Troilus had his brains dash'd out with a Grecian club, yet he did what he could to die before, and he is one of the patterns of love. Leander, he would have liv'd many a fair year, though Hero had turn'd nun, if it had not been for a hot midsummer night; for, good youth, he went but forth to wash him in the Hellespont, and, being taken with the cramp, was drown'd; and the foolish chroniclers of that age found it was - Hero of Sestos." But these are all lies: men have died from time to time, and worms have eaten them, but not for love.

Orl. I would not have my right Rosalind of this mind; for, I protest, her frown might kill me.

8

Ros. By this hand, it will not kill a fly. But come, now I will be your Rosalind in a more coming-on disposition, and ask me what you will, I will grant it.

Orl. Then love me, Rosalind.

Ros. Yes, faith will I; Fridays and Saturdays, and all.
Orl. And wilt thou have me?

Ros. Ay, and twenty such.

Orl. What say'st thou?

Ros. Are you not good?

Orl. I hope so.

Ros. Why, then, can one desire too much of a good thing? Come, sister, you shall be the priest, and marry us. — Give me your hand, Orlando :- What do you say, sister?

Örl. Pray thee, marry us.

Cel. I cannot say the words.
Ros. You must begin,

Will you, Orlando,

Cel." Go to:-Will you, Orlando, have to wife this Rosalind? Orl. I will.

Ros. Ay, but when?

Orl. Why, now; as fast as she can marry us.

Ros. Then you must say, I take thee, Rosalind, for wife. Orl. I take thee, Rosalind, for wife.

Ros. I might ask you for your commission; but, -I do take thee, Orlando, for my husband: There's a girl goes before the priest; and certainly a woman's thought runs before her actions.

6 That is, by deputy or substitute. A man's attorney is one who represents him or stands for him in his cause.

7 Found, brought in, a verdict of drowned himself for love of Hero. Some editors change chroniclers to coroners; which is quite unnecessary, the report of the old chroniclers or historians being implicitly compared to the finding of a coroner's inquest.

6 A disposition more ready, willing, and encouraging.

9 That is, goes faster than the priest, gets ahead of him in the service alluding to her anticipating what was to be said first by Celia

Orl. So do all thoughts; they are wing'd.

Ros. Now tell me how long you would have her, after you have possess'd her.

Orl. For ever and a day.

Ros. Say a day, without the ever. No, no, Orlando: men are April when they woo, December when they wed; maids are May when they are maids, but the sky changes when they are wives. I will be more jealous of thee than a Barbary cock-pigeon over his hen; more clamorous than a parrot against rain; more new-fangled than an ape; more giddy in my desires than a monkey: I will weep for nothing, like Diana in the fountain; 10 and I will do that when you are dispos'd to be merry: I will laugh like a hyen," and that when thou art inclin'd to sleep.

Orl. But will my Rosalind do so?

Ros. By my life, 'she will do as I do.
Orl. O, but she is wise.

Ros. Or else she could not have the wit to do this: the

12

wiser, the waywarder: Make the doors upon a woman's wit,

and it will out at the casement; shut that, and 'twill out at the key-hole; stop that, 'twill fly with the smoke out at the chim ney.

Orl. A man that had a wife with such a wit, he might say, Wit, whither wilt?

Ros. You shall never take her without her answer, unless you take her without her tongue. O, that woman that cannot make her fault her husband's occasion, let her never nurse her child herself, for she will breed it like a fool!

13

Orl. For these two hours, Rosalind, I will leave thee.
Ros. Alas, dear love, I cannot lack thee two hours.

Orl. I must attend the Duke at dinner: by two o'clock I will be with thee again.

Ros. Ay, go your ways, go your ways: I knew what you would prove; my friends told me as much, and I thought no less. That flattering tongue of yours won me:-'tis but one cast away, and so,come, death!-Two o'clock is your hour?

Orl. Ay, sweet Rosalind.

Ros. By my troth, and in good earnest, and so God mend

10 Figures, and particularly that of Diana, with water conveyed through them were anciently a frequent ornament of fountains. So, in The City Match: "Now could I cry like any image in a fountain, which runs lamentations." Such an image of Diana, "with water prilling from her naked breast," was set up at the cross in Cheapside in 1596, according to Stowe 11 The bark of the hyæna was thought to resemble a loud laugh. 12 Bar the doors, make them fast.

13 That is, make her husband the occasion of her fault; a thing by no means confined to the matrimonial relation.

me, and by all pretty oaths that are not dangerous, if you break one jot of your promise, or come one minute behind your hour, I will think you the most pathetical break-promise, and the most hollow lover, and the most unworthy of her you call Rosalind, that may be chosen out of the gross band of the unfaithful: Therefore beware my censure, and keep your promise.

Orl. With no less religion than if thou wert indeed my Rosalind: So, adieu.

Ros. Well, Time is the old justice that examines all such offenders, and let Time try: Adieu.

[Exit ORLANDO.

Cel. You have simply misus'd our sex in your love-prate: we must have your doublet and hose pluck'd over your head, and show the world what the bird hath done to her own nest.14

Ros. O coz, coz, coz, my pretty little coz, that thou didst know how many fathom deep I am in love! But it cannot be sounded; my affection hath an unknown bottom, like the bay of Portugal.

Cel. Or rather, bottomless; that as fast as you pour affection in, it runs out.

Ros. No; that same wicked [son] of Venus, that was begot of thought, conceiv'd of spleen, and born of madness; that blind rascally boy, that abuses every one's eyes because his own are out, let him be judge how deep I am in love. I'll tell thee, Aliena, I cannot be out of the sight of Orlando: I'll go find a shadow, and sigh till he come.

Cel. And I'll sleep.

SCENE II. Another Part of the Forest.

[Exeunt.

Enter JAQUES and Lords, like Foresters, with a dead Deer.

Jaq. Which is he that killed the deer? 1 Lord. Sir, it was I.

Jaq. Let's present him to the Duke, like a Roman conqueror; and it would do well to set the deer's horns upon his head, for a branch of victory. - Have you no song, Forester, for this purpose?

2 Lord. Yes, sir.

Jaq. Sing it: 'tis no matter how it be in tune, so it make noise enough.

Song.

2 Lord. What shall he have that kill'd the deer?

His leather skin and horns to wear.

14 Referring to the old proverb, "'Tis an ill bird that fouls her own nest."

Take thou no scorn to wear the horn:
It was a crest ere thou wast born.

[They sing him home, the Others bearing the Burden

The horn, the horn, the lusty horn,

Is not a thing to laugh to scorn.

[Exeunt, with the Deer, singing.

SCENE III. Another Part of the Forest.

Enter ROSALIND and CELIA.

Ros. How say you now? Is it not past two o'clock? and here much Orlando!1

Cel. I warrant you, with pure love and troubled brain he hath ta'en his bow and arrows, and is gone forth—to sleep. Look, who comes here.

Enter SILVIUS.

Sil. My errand is to you, fair youth.
My gentle Phebe bid me give you this:
I know not the contents; but, as I guess
By the stern brow and waspish action
Which she did use as she was writing of it,
It bears an angry tenour: pardon me;

I am but as a guiltless messenger.

[Giving a Letter

Ros. Patience herself would startle at this letter, And play the swaggerer: bear this, bear all.

She says I am not fair; that I lack manners;

She calls me proud; and that she could not love me,
Were man as rare as phoenix. 'Od's my will!2
Her love is not the hare that I do hunt:

Why writes she so to me? Well, shepherd, well,
This is a letter of your own device.

Sil. No, I protest; I know not the contents:
Phebe did write it.

Ros.

Come, come, you're a fool, And turn'd into th' extremity of love.

I saw her hand: she has a leathern hand,

A freestone-colour'd hand; I verily did think
That her old gloves were on, but 'twas her hands:
She has a housewife's hand; but that's no matter.

I say she never did invent this letter;

This is a man's invention, and his hand.

ing

1 Much is used ironically; as we still say, "A good deal you will," mean "No, you won't."

2 See page 71, note 6.

80

Sil. Sure, it is hers.

AS YOU LIKE IT.

Ros. Why, 'tis a boisterous and a cruel style,
A style for challengers: why, she defies me,
Like Turk to Christian. Woman's gentle brain
Could not drop forth such giant-rude invention,
Such Ethiop words, blacker in their effect
Than in their countenance.

Will you hear the letter?

Sil. So please you, for I never heard it yet;

Yet heard too much of Phebe's cruelty.

Ros. She Phebes me: Mark how the tyrant writes:

[Reads.] Art thou god to shepherd turn'd,

That a maiden's heart hath burn'd?

Can a woman rail thus?

Sil. Call you this railing?

Ros. [Reads.] Why, thy godhead laid apart,
Warr'st thou with a woman's heart?

Did you ever hear such railing?.

Whiles the eye of man did woo me,
That could do no vengeance to me.

If the scorn of your bright eyne
Have power to raise such love in mine,
Alack, in me what strange effect
Would they work in mild aspect!
Whiles you chid me,

I did love;

How then might your prayers move!
He that brings this love to thee
Little knows this love in me:

And by him seal up thy mind;3
Whether that thy youth and kind*
-Will the faithful offer take
Of me, and all that I can make
Or else by him my love deny,
And then I'll study how to die.

Sil. Call you this chiding?

Cel. Alas, poor shepherd!

;

Ros. Do you pity him? no; he deserves no pity. - Wilt thou love such a woman? What, to make thee an instru

8 Seal up your answer, and send it back by him.

4 Kind was often used for nature, kindly for natural; akin to the sense of A relic of the same sense survives in kindled as explained page 64, note 34. the Litany of the Episcopal Church: "That it may please Thee to give and preserve to our use the kindly fruits of the earth."