ON OBSERVING SOME

NAMES OF LITTLE NOTE

RECORDED IN

THE BIOGRAPHIA BRITANNICA.

Oh, fond attempt to give a deathless lot
To names ignoble, born to be forgot! .,
In vain, recorded in historic page,
They court the notice of a future age :
Those twinkling tiny lustres of the land
Drop one by one from Fame's neglecting hand;
Lethæan gulfs receive them as they fall,
And dark oblivion soon absorbs them all.

So when a child, as playful children use,
Has burnt to tinder a stale last year's news,
The flame extinct, he views the roving fire
There goes my lady, and there goes the 'squire,
There goes the parson, oh illustrious spark!
And there, scarce less illustrious, goes the clerk !

REPORT

OF AN ADJUDGED CASE, NOT TO BE FOUND

IN ANY OF THE BOOKS.

I.
BBTWEEN Nose and Eyes a strange contest arose,

The spectacles set them unhappily wrong:
The point in dispute was, as all the world knows,
To which the said spectacles ought to belong.

II.
So Tongue was the lawyer, and argued the cause

With a great deal of skill, and a wig full of learning; While chief baron Ear sat to balance the laws,

So famed for his talent in nicely discerning.

III.
In behalf of the Nose, it will quickly appear,

And your lordship, he said, will undoubtedly find, That the Nose has had spectacles always in wear,

Which amounts to possession time out of mind.

IV.

Then holding the spectacles up to the court-
Your lordship observes they are made with a

straddle,
As wide as the ridge of the Nose is; in short,
Design'd to sit close to it, just like a saddle.

V.
Again, would your lordship a moment suppose

("Tis a case that has happen'd, and may be again) That the visage or countenance had not a Nose, Pray who would, or who could, wear spectacles then?

VI. On the whole it appears, and my argument shews,

With a reasoning the court will never condemn, That the spectacles plainly were made for the Nose, And the Nose was as plainly intended for them.

VII.
Then shifting his side (as a lawyer knows how),

He pleaded again in behalf of the Eyes:
But what were his arguments few people know,
For the court did not think they were equally wise.

VIII. So his lordship decreed, with a grave solemn tone,

Decisive and clear, without one if or butThat whenever the Nose put his spectacles on,

By daylight or candlelight - Eyes should be shut!

ON THE BURNING

OF

LORD MANSFIELD'S LIBRARY,

TOGETHER WITH HIS MSS.,

By the mob, in the month of June, 1780.

I.

So then-the Vandals of our isle,

Sworn foes to sense and law,
Have burnt to dust a nobler pile

Than ever Roman saw!

II.
And MURRAY sighs o'er Pope and Swift,

And many a treasure more,
The well-judg'd purchase, and the gift,

That graced his letter'd store.

III.

Their pages mangled, burnt, and torn,

The loss was his alone;
But ages yet to come shall mourn

The burning of his own.

WHEN wit and genius meet their doom

In all devouring flame,
They tell us of the fate of Rome,

And bid us fear the same.

II.
O'er MURRAY's loss the Muses wept,

They felt the rude alarm,
Yet bless'd the guardian care that kept

His sacred head from harm.

III.
There Memory, like the bee, that's fed

From Flora's balmy store,
The quintessence of all he read

Had treasured up before.

IV.
The lawless herd, with fury blind,

Have done him cruel wrong;
The flowers are gone-but still we find

The honey on his tongue.

THE LOVE OF THE WORLD

REPROVED;

OR

HYPOCRISY DETECTED.*

Thus says the prophet of the Turk,
Good Mussulman, abstain from pork ;
There is a part in every swine
No friend or follower of mine
May taste, whate'er his inclination,
On pain of excommunication.
Such Mahomet's mysterious charge,
And thus he left the point at large.

* It may be proper to inform the reader, that this piece has already appeared in print, having found its way, though with some unnecessary additions by an unknown hand, into the Leeds Journal, without the author's privity.

Had he the sinful part express'd,
They might with safety eat the rest;
But for one piece they thought it hard
From the whole hog to be debarrd;
And set their wit at work to find
What joint the prophet had in mind.
Much controversy straight arose;
These choose the back, the belly those ;
By some 'tis confidently said
He meant not to forbid the head;
While others at that doctrine rail,
And piously prefer the tail.
Thus, conscience freed from every clog,
Mahometans eat up the hog.

You laugh—'tis well—The tale applied
May make you laugh on t'other side.
Renounce the world—the preacher cries.
We do—a multitude replies.
While one as innocent regards
A snug and friendly game at cards ;
And one, whatever you may say,
Can see no evil in a play;
Some love a concert, or a race;
And others shooting and the chase.
Reviled and loved, renounced and follow'd,
Thus, bit by bit, the world is swallow'd;
Each thinks his neighbour makes too free,
Yet likes a slice as well as he;
With sophistry their sauce they sweeten,
Till quite from tail to snout 'tis eaten.