" Tom. Why, by jockeyfhip to be fure-Look! (fhewing a purfe full of guineas) He! he! he! mother only made me a fort of a fimple failor, to be fure; but then, good foul, fhe alfo made me a north countryman-and I don't think he could have done more for me, if the'd made me great Cream of Tartary-And fo, you fce, tho' Mifs Fidget were the favourite, and, all hollow, the best horfe, yet fomehow I found the blacklegs, as they call 'em, were all for taking the long odds on. Mafter Jacky; fo, thinks I, I'd better be for Mafter Jacky and Blacklegs too; and, of course, you know, we won; and accordingly I went up to your lords and baronets, to touch my winnings, when, wou'd you believe it, they talk'd of fettling with me two hundred miles off-at one Tatterfal's, at Hyde Park Corner-" But" fays I, "Gentlemen, I hope you be joking, for I hate to feem awkward or unfashionable; but, if you're ferious, I muft really horsewhip you all round the race-courfe”— and I just gave a fmack or two, and here's the prize-money. He! he! he! I might have known it all along, for we Jack Tars are fure to win it, ay, tho' the odds be a million to one against us. Land. So you are; but then, Tom, to be fo rude to your fuperiors. Tom. Superiors! blefs ye, there be no fuch thing at races, or any kind of gambling. (Landlord flares) No; betting do bring on fuch a fweet familiarity, and we, fporting gentlemen, be fomehow fo all on a footing, that, at the ordinary, when Lord Tiffany propofed a maggot race, "Done Tiffy" cried I-And when fir William fwore he'd win all the hearts in the ball-room, "I'll tell you what, Billy" fays I-"I'll make love for a hundred pounds to any beauty in the room, and make it play and pay, and croffing and jostling, just as you like" and then they all laugh'd, and I laugh'd too And, And, icod! I only with they had tried me, for, at making love-making punch-and dancing a hornpipe, Tom against the field, boy !-But now for my carriage! (whipping) Land. Stop; you forgot that that's Sir Edward's yacht; and that you, as mafter of it Tom. No; and if Ned, that is, Sir Edward, do choose a race upon the water, mind if I don't jockey fea-fharks as neatly as I have done land ones. Voices without. Here-ftop-draw up! Tom. There they are, and here I go! And, I fay, fhould any of the most genteel and tip toppeft o'your customers, like a game at Put, or Scratch, or Sneezums, or Pope Joan, why, you'll fend for me to mother's cottage.-As its the best way to make a fortune, fo I'll pufh it, while fortune be in the humour-I fay (holding up his purfe) Jack Tar, North Country, and Mafter Jacky, against the field! he he! he! Land. There they are indeed! and foremost in the rank, two fuch wealthy looking gentlemen, stepping out of their own poft chaife and fourWhy, during race-time, fortune feems in humour with every body I think. Enter YOUNG DORIC, DORVILLE, and POST-BOY. Y. Doric. Go, mind the horfes, fir. [Exit boy. And mind, I fay again-'tis fortune has undone me. Dorv. And I fay again, you're ruin'd by seeing company. Land. Oh! ruin'd, are they? Now I look at 'em again, I think I never faw two more vulgar, fharper-like-Tom, we've no beds, no-mum ! [Exit Tom into the Hotel, B Doric. There you fee Y. Doric. Be quiet! I'll bring you thro'! Landlord, my friend here will want tea and fupper, and all that-but, for myself, my food is love. And if you know the dear, divine Mifs Olivia Torna lo, whom I faw just now, and fought for on the fe-hore-Where does the live? Who does the vifit? At what parties can I meet her? Dorv. You meet her! here's affurance again! Why, who'll invite you? Y. Doric. Who? Why, the greatest person in the town-myfelf-I'll invite myfelf-and I'm right-am I not, old Pelican? Land. Certainly; for, perhaps nobody else will invite you. Y. Doric. How! Land. Why, look ye, when gentlemen of fortune and respectability vifit this town, the town vifits them; but when people bring with them neither money nor manners, why, even old Pelican turns his back upon them. Y. Doric. Stop! in your inn is there a handfome ball-room? Land. To be fure there is. Y. Doric. Then, observe-write a hundred cards in my name; in the name of Jack Doric, of Piccadilly, London, and invite a hundred of your first neighbours to a fplendid ball and fupper-and look, here are a hundred refpectable gentlemen to anfwer for it. (Shews a note-cafe.) Land. So there are! Oh, your honour, a thoufand pardons. Y. Doric. One for each pound-a hundred will do. Dorv. 'Sdeath! what madnefs and effrontery! Nobody knows you, and of courfe, nobody will accept your invitation. Y. Doric. Y. Doric. Won't they? My dear fellow, people think fo much more of the fupper, than they do of the person who gives it, that if, by mistake, inftead of "Jack Doric's," he were to write, "Jack Ketch's compliments," my life on't, there woudn't be three excufes. And now I'll tell you both a fecret. Spunging is a fneaking, hacknied art; and, inftead of toiling to get dinners, always try to give them. Land. Give dinners! Y. Doric. To be fure. Let every body fuppofe you don't want money, and any body is fo ready to lend it to you, that, whilft the poor and cringing fpunge, borrows half-crowns with difficulty, he who gives fumptuous entertainments, confers a favour, by accepting hundreds; and, as a proof, [to landlord] George talk'd of ruin, and you turn'd your back-I give a fupper and its " Oh! your honour, and a thoufand pardons.” Land. Gad! fo it is: and I can't help laughing at the world and myfelf too. Y. Doric. No; and, were my motives fordid, each bottle of your wine, to-night, should yield me twenty times your profit: but 'tis from love I actI would be known and notic'd by Olivia's friends; -fo, come, I'll help you to make out the cards (to landlord,) and for my friend, you, George, prepare the paragraphs and puffs: for Balls are nothing now, 'till flampt by newspaper report; and every giver of a fête muft, like quack doctors, publifh lifts of names, to fhew they've equal cuftom and repute. Dorv. Stay! are you aware that, out of 15,000%. earned by your late good father, as an architect, this hundred is the laft? 'Y. Doric. I am; and also that my uncle will diffolve our partnership; but, if I fail, I only wrong myself; and if my plan fucceeds, you know |