« PreviousContinue »
SCENE.--An Apartment in Delauny House.
Enter Mrs. Sapling and HONORIA.
Mrs. Sapling. Positively, Honoria, I will not listen to you. You really must marry Mr. Privi. lege—and soon-- very soon !—for my own wedding is gone by, and I begin to want something new dieadfully.
Honoria. Nay, Madam : when I've told you that from early life, my heart has been another's
Mrs. Sapling. Simple thing !-lhe don't know that hearts have been out, ever Gince pin-money and separate establishments came in. And surely you don't compare the elegant Mr. Privilege with this barbarous failor gentleman?-In the first place, the man has no voice.
Honoria. No, Ma'am: no more has Mr. Sapling.
Mrs. Sapling. No voice !--my husband !Oh, I understand you mean that I play the first instrument ?- Vastly well !--and so you shall find, Ma'am-though a widow-though not quite so young and striking as Miss Honoria—there is now-a-days this consolation-old women never go by-and whilst my voice laits, neither his nor yours shall be heard, I promise you. Honoria. No, Madam : and till my guardian C2
shall affert his rights, I have no hope of happiness
Enter PAUL POSTPONE and SAPLING.
Sapling. Then I say you are a base Nanderous
Mrs. Sapling. Mercy !-.What's the matter, gentlemen?
Paul. The matter, Ma'am! Why the allizes have began; and owing to this seducing deceiver, our only witness has escap'd. You know it, sir, You bade me put it off till day-light; and now, for the first time, I shall be set down as an idle, diffipated
Sapling. And so you ought-for the music didn't content you-00-you must dance also-and play billiards allo-and ber against eine also.
Paul. Don't you talk of betting against time! Didn’t you offer to trot on your own feet against poft horses, and draw chaises with your own hands against dray horses ?-In fact, didn't you so completely prove yourself a four-legg'd animal, chat at fupper, when you ask'd for hani and fowl, the com, pany begg’d you'd stand on no ceremony, but call for hay and corn as if you were alone ?
ling and the lady-they took the road rowards Ivy Farm--and Miss Lauretta is disguised in boy's clothes.
Paul. Disguis'd in boy's clothes !
Servant. Yes, fir-in a green coat-white waist. coat-round hat
Paul (Writing it down in a memorandum book). Enough; that, with her effeminare appearance, is full description.-Shew ihe way, and, free from dirsipared company, I'll secure her... (Looking at SAPLING.)-Madam, yours.- If at any time you want legal redress—and with such a fashionable hufband, the thing's not at all unlikely—there's my card : neat houle-ind charming accommodation for you and the female part of the family ;-but for the male-xtremely sorry, but there's no stable on the premises.
(Exit. Sapling. Şiable! Make me out a four leg'd animal! -Excuse me, my dear—but nobody shall take such liberties with me bue yourself. Besides, to suppose I'd even name a horse, when
Mrs. Sapling. Oh, the odious creatures ! - for Heaven's lake, don't let them make me a disconsolare widow a second time, Mr. Sapling.
Sapling. They sha'n't. You sha'n't be a widow, my darling and what's more, Honoria shall be a wife-lhe shall marry Privilege directly; and as for Mr. Henry-leave him so me I've laid a train that will blow him out of water.
Mrs. Sapling. A train !
Sapling. Mum! He keeps a lady.- Robert Grange, a Yorkshireman, intorms me he keeps a cousin of his in London ; so what do you think I've done ?-leni Robert off express; bid him tell his cousin of Henry's love affair with Honoria-and then you know, down comes her ladyfhip-he gives it him one way-Honoria another-Robert another
Mrs. Sapling (Laughing). So they do.- Poor wretch! What will become of him ?
Sapling. Aye : he may ftand against the cannon's roar;-but two jealous women, back'd by a Yorkshireman-damme, the rock of Gibraltar could not reift their artillery.
Mrs. Sapling. Oh delightful!-Mr. Privilege is now in the park; and I'll immediately inform him.-But though this is very well for such women as Honoria and her felf-creared lady ships it won't do in fashionable lifc--you'll never find me jealous, Mr. Sapling.
Sapling. Noenor me, my dear. When I hine that you sometimes speak and look too kindly on your admirers-ic isn's jealousy!
--it's pity -general pity for mankind.--I wilh you to be merciful, and spare thcle mu:dering Imiles
Mrs. Seping. Do you ! --Well! Perhaps I will be mercio --adieu ! You really improve every hour, Mr. Sapling.
(Exit smiling Sapling. I do! I'm finish'd !-it's very ocd, . though-if I wer'n't convinc'd that jealouly was out of fashion, I should te lcmetimes like Otheilo -quire black in the face with it!
ctor here's Mr. Privilege--how can I ell but the may go on pitying him, till every body pities me.
Very well! -I know how to be even with her--I can go hunting and break my neck at any time.
Enter GROOM. Groom, Sir !--- Sir! Your favourite hunter Sapling. Huh!--lower-or your mistress may
Groom. Sir, your poor mare Arabella, is so low spirited for want of hunting, that I do think the next time I take her to the river, she'll coolly lay, down and drown herself.
Sapling. Poor Arabella ! --- she's a charming goer; and if your mistress would give me an opportunity, William-but no-she's lo loving-so durifulso constant
Groom. Ah!--it's a thousand piţies, fir-búc perhaps mistress mayn't be always so, Gr.
Sapling. No !-- Why not, fir ? -Have you heard any thing?
Grcom. Not at present, fir --but I hope for the best.
Sapling. You do ; do you ?-Leave the room. -No-stop-follow me to the library, and I'll give you a prescription for the mare :—and as to your wishing your malter to be a ; no, fir, I am fufficiently fashionable without that embellishnient.
SCENE.--A lone Farm-House, with mucb marked
Desolation around it.
LAURETTA is disguijed in Boy's Cloaths.
Lauretta. Aye: but the time the time! think in a few short hours, my father will be summon'd to the awful scene, and if he bleffes not the daughter who preserves him, he'll curse the parricide whole rashness has destroy'd him.-Oh! I can't bear the recollection. Hide me from hea. ven, the world, and from myelf.
Henry. No-l'll only hide you from your ene. mies - Hush-stand aside-somebody approaches. (They retire behind the wing )