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ing glances; and after putting on her hat and cloak, had persuaded her to walk with me, when, as the devil would have it, I overheard my wife whispering with a man-Ay, and though it was too dark to see him, ecod, I felt him. For, thinks I, if you'll plant lumps on my head, I'd better plant bumps on yours; so I gave him such a douce
Sir H. (eagerly.) My dear fellow, where-where did this happen?
Gabr. Where! Why, at the paddock gate, now, not an hour ago. (SIR HARRY looks confused.) Good soul! I knew you'd feel for me consumedly.
Sir H. I do!--and for myself too consumedly (aside).
Gabr. I said he would take on as much as if the case were his own :-but don't you, now-don't be down-hearted. — You'll see that I'll serve him just as I served Jemmy Swagger.
Sir H. And, pray, how did you serve Jemmy Swagger?
Gabr. Why, I behaved very ill to Jemmy Swagger, and he sent me a challenge; fo I took my friend with me this young gentleman (pulling bis stick from under his coat); and fo I thumpt him till he ask'd pardon: and in like manner I'll serve this paddock hero, and you shall be by all the time. "Ha! ha! you like fun--you like life,
Sir H. Yes! but I don't like death, you know give it up, for your own fake-These sort of rencontres alway get into the public prints. People just catch the names of the parties, huddle the innocent with the guilty, and coolly remark, a blackguard business, and a damned set of scoundrels altogether-give it up therefore.
Gabr. No, I won't--you have been very kind to me, and I'll break his bones, if it is only to amuse you, Cousin.-(loud knocking at the door) What's that?-(more knocking)-Again! and so early in the morning!
Enter BETTY. Betty. Oh, Sir, my mistress is terrified out of her senses! Mr. Craftly is below, telling her that Mr. Primitive is unexpectedly arrived from Jamaica, and will be here in half an hour,
Gabr. My uncle here in half an hour! Od dang it, I'm sorry to disappoint you—but you see I must postpone the operation.
Sir H. My dear Sir, don't mention it; if you postpone it for ever, it will be no disappointment to me, I promise you. Adieu! Now for the dressing-room; and having served March mont, then for the Priory! Gad, this is bustle! this is Life! while it lasts, or the devil's in it!
[Exit. Gabr. My uncle so near-so
Enter CRAFTLY and Mrs. LACKBRAIN.
Mrs. L. So, so! Here's a pretty business-Mr. Primitive not half a mile off, and you're in a fine ftate to receive him with a head full of wine ac this time in the morning:
Gabr. And what are you? with a house full of dancers and whisperers at this time in the morning.
Craft. Pfha! wrangling won't help us. I fancy we are none of us over fond of each other.-Indeed, for my part, I candidly acknowledge, l'd rather do you both a mischief than a-service. Mrs. L. I am sure you're very kind, Sir !
Craft. But as the old pigeon is arrived, we must combine to pluck him; and, first, we must undermine this favorite he has brought with him.
Mrs. L. What favorite ?
Craft. Why, a lady he met with last night at the hotel.' He has already conceived a great regard for her: but, as he acknowledges he knows nothing of her, and Clifford aflures me she is a woman of suspicious character, you'll give hints on her introduction.
Mrs. L. Never fear, leave me alone-I'll say I know her.
Gabr. That's enough if she says she is one of her acquaintances, 'tis all over with her-or if that fails, I'll say she is one of mine.
Craft. Good! and now, while Mrs. Lackbrain disposes of the company, and puts on a more plain and appropriate dress, you and I will go and receive the old gentleman.–And remember, from this hour you are plain simple cottagers; and, hard and Erktome as it is, you must henceforth appear a fond, loving couple.
Mrs. L. (highing.) 'Tis very irksome! but we must do it: but, go, go, and impofe on your credulous uncle.
Gabr. l'll do what my head will let me, for at this moment there's more dancing in it than in your ball-room. However, if there's any danger, guardy here will lend me his little octavo; and, now I think on’t, we must take pains on his account, because he paid for all this pretty furniture, you know, Ha! ha! ha!
Craft. Pha! nonsense; come along and try, try to disguise your situation.
Gabr. Pooh! don't my situation disguise me? Besides, what are you afraid of remember the sons of genius. Didn't I, by drinking a few generous bumpers, make a faol of him who has made a fool of thousands ? - but now for it-now let me recollect-I am a fond, steady-4--0--h!(biccuping) That's it, I'm the exact thing already. įExit with CRAFTĻY,--Mrs. LACKBRAIN at folding doors.
SCENE-Outside of a Cottage, standing in a
romantic Vale surrounded by Mountains.
Enter Primitive and Mrs. BELFORD.
Prim. Huzza, there! there it is, the end of all my hopes and all my wishes! Delightful, innocent, romantic fight!
Mrs. B. This is, indeed, a spot more lovely than e'en my fancy pictured.
Prim. Oh! 'tis Arcadia ! Paradise! And, to make my joys unbearable, think that Nature does not alone confine herself to the outside; no, she also dwells within. And the young cottagers—the dear, the darling pair ! but reprefent the spot around them.
Mrs. B. No doubt: for here is no temptation to be guilty. (hinging in cottage" Come, come one ce and all,” &c.) Liften, what singing's that?
Prim. Don't you know? It is the plowman as he trudges to his morning's work, carolling his simple dicty! Sweet fascinating sound! (Music in cottage.) And, hark again! Do you hear that music? Mrs, B. I do: co me it founded like a flute.
Prim. Flute! bless you it is the shepherd's pipe-it is the music of Arcadia! Oh! if this lasts, I shan't live to see the inside.
Enter JAMES from the Cottage. Heh! who comes here? One of the servants mum! He won't know me, so I'll be cunning and fift him-now mind-Good morning, Sir.
James. The same to you, Sir,
but 'tis too early, I suppose, they are neither of them out of bed yet.
James. Yes, Sir, they are both up.
James. Yes; and, what's more extraordinary, they are up every morning at the same hour.
Prim. There now, in London, who ever hears of such early rising? One question more, if you please-Pray where may you be going?
James. Why, if you must know, Sir, I am going to leave thefe cards of invitation at some great houses about twelve miles off (produces them).
Prim. Cards of invitation! I don't like that; it smacks of the squares-the city-the-give me leave (takes one and reads.) “Mrs. Gabriel Lack, “ brain at home every evening this week :" you may go---I'm satisfied !--never-never was such an instance of domestic and connubial happiness! home every evening! come let us enter and behold.
[Exit James, Enter CRAFTLY and GABRIEL, fill drunk. Craft. (Speaking as be enters.) This way, Gabriel--this way
Gab. Softly, the air makes me worse--your arm, lend me your arm-(lays bold of CRAFTLY's arm.)