ing glances; and after putting on her hat and cloak, had perfuaded her to walk with me, when, as the devil would have it, I overheard my wife whispering with a man-Ay, and though it was too dark to fee him, ecod, I felt him. For, thinks I, if you'll plant lumps on my head, I'd better plant bumps on yours; fo I gave him fuch a douce

Sir H. (eagerly.) My dear fellow, where-where did this happen?

Gabr. Where! Why, at the paddock gate, now, not an hour ago. (SIR HARRY looks confused.) Good foul! I knew you'd feel for me confumedly. Sir H. I do!-and for myfelf too confumedly (afide).

Gabr. I faid he would take on as much as if the cafe were his own:-but don't you, now-don't be down-hearted.-You'll fee that I'll ferve him just as I ferved Jemmy Swagger.

Sir H. And, pray, how did you ferve Jemmy Swagger?

Gabr. Why, I behaved very ill to Jemmy Swagger, and he fent me a challenge; fo I took my friend with me-this young gentleman (pulling bis fick from under his coat); and fo I thumpt him till he afk'd pardon and in like manner I'll serve this paddock hero, and you shall be by all the time. Ha! ha! you like fun-you like life, you know.

Sir H. Yes! but I don't like death, you knowgive it up, for your own fake-Thefe fort of rencontres alway get into the public prints. People juft catch the names of the parties, huddle the innocent with the guilty, and coolly remark, a blackguard bufinefs, and a damned fet of fcoundrels altogether-give it up therefore.

Gabr.

Gabr. No, I won't-you have been very kind to me, and I'll break his bones, if it is only to amufe you, Coufin.-(loud knocking at the door)What's that?-(more knocking)-Again! and fo early in the morning!

Enter BETTY.

Betty. Oh, Sir, my mistress is terrified out of her fenses! Mr. Craftly is below, telling her that Mr. Primitive is unexpectedly arrived from Jamaica, and will be here in half an hour.

Gabr. My uncle here in half an hour! Od dang it-I'm forry to difappoint you-but you fee I muft poftpone the operation.

Sir H. My dear Sir, don't mention it; if you poftpone it for ever, it will be no difappointment to me, I promise you. Adieu! Now for the dreffing-room; and having ferved Marchmont, then for the Priory! Gad, this is buftle! this is Life! while it lafts, or the devil's in it!

Gabr. My uncle so near-fo

Enter CRAFTLY and MRS. LACKBRAIN.

[Exit.

Mrs. L. So, fo! Here's a pretty business-Mr. Primitive not half a mile off, and you're in a fine ftate to receive him-with a head full of wine at this time in the morning.

Gabr. And what are you? with a houfe full of dancers and whisperers at this time in the morning.

Craft. Piha! wrangling won't help us. I fancy we are none of us over fond of each other.-Indeed, for my part, I candidly acknowledge, I'd rather do you both a mifchief than a-service.

Mrs. L. I am fure you're very kind, Sir!

Craft. But as the old pigeon is arrived, we must combine to pluck him; and, firft, we must undermine this favorite he has brought with him.

Mrs. L. What favorite?

Craft. Why, a lady he met with laft night at the hotel. He has already conceived a great regard for her but, as he acknowledges he knows nothing of her, and Clifford affures me fhe is a woman of fufpicious character, you'll give hints on her introduction.

Mrs. L. Never fear, leave me alone-I'll fay I know her.

Gabr. That's enough-if the fays fhe is one of her acquaintances, 'tis all over with her-or if that fails, I'll fay fhe is one of mine.

Craft. Good! and now, while Mrs. Lackbrain difpofes of the company, and puts on a more plain and appropriate drefs, you and I will go and receive the old gentleman.-And remember, from this hour you are plain fimple cottagers; and, hard and rktome as it is, you must henceforth appear a fond, loving couple.

Mrs. L. (fighing.) 'Tis very irksome! but we muft do it: but, go, go, and impofe on your credulous uncle.

Gabr. I'll do what my head will let me, for at this moment there's more dancing in it than in your ball-room. However, if there's any danger, guardy here will lend me his little octavo; and, now I think on't, we must take pains on his account, because he paid for all this pretty furniture, you know. Ha! ha! ha!

Craft. Pha! nonfenfe; come along and try, try to disguise your fituation.

Gabr. Pooh! don't my fituation disguise me? Befides, what are you afraid of remember the fons of genius. Didn't I, by drinking a few generous bumpers, make a fool of him who has made a fool of thoufands?-but now for it-now let me recollect-I am a fond, fteady—u--u--h!· (biccuping) That's it, I'm the exact thing already. [Exit with CRAFTLY,-MRS. LACKBRAIN folding doors.

at

SCENE-Outfide of a Cottage, standing in a romantic Vale furrounded by Mountains.

Enter PRIMITIVE and MRS. BELFORD.

Prim. Huzza, there! there it is, the end of all my hopes and all my wifhes! Delightful, innocent, romantic fight!

Mrs. B. This is, indeed, a fpot more lovely than e'en my fancy pictured.

Prim. Oh! 'tis Arcadia! Paradife! And, to make my joys unbearable, think that Nature does not alone confine herself to the outfide; no, she also dwells within. And the young cottagers-the dear, the darling pair! but reprefent the fpot around them.

Mrs. B. No doubt: for here is no temptation to be guilty. (inging in cottage-"Come, come one " and all," &c.) Liften, what finging's that?

Prim. Don't you know? It is the plowman as he trudges to his morning's work, carolling his fimple ditty! Sweet fafcinating found! (Mufic in cottage.) And, hark again! Do you hear that mufic? Mrs. B. I do: to me it founded like a flute.

Prim. Flute! blefs you-it is the shepherd's pipe-it is the mufic of Arcadia! Oh! if this lafts, I fhan't live to fee the inside.

Enter JAMES from the Cottage.

Heh! who comes here? One of the fervantsmum! He won't know me, fo I'll be cunning and fift him-now mind-Good morning, Sir. James. The fame to you, Sir.

Prim. I wish to fpeak with Mr. or Mrs. Lackbrain; but 'tis too early, I fuppofe, they are neither of them out of bed yet.

James. Yes, Sir, they are both up.

Prim. Up! what, at five in the morning? James. Yes; and, what's more extraordinary, they are up every morning at the fame hour.

Prim. There now, in London, who ever hears of fuch early rifing? One queftion more, if you please-Pray where may you be going?

James. Why, if you must know, Sir, I am going to leave thefe cards of invitation at fome great houses about twelve miles off (produces them).

Prim. Cards of invitation! I don't like that; it fmacks of the fquares-the city-the-give me leave (takes one and reads.) "Mrs. Gabriel Lack"brain at home every evening this week:" you may go I'm fatisfied!-never-never was fuch an inftance of domeftic and connubial happiness!-at home every evening! come let us enter and behold. [Exit JAMES.

Enter CRAFTLY and GABRIEL, still drunk. Craft. Speaking as he enters.) This way, Gabriel-this way

Gab. Softly, the air makes me worse-your arm, lend me your arm-(lays hold of CRAFTLY's arm.)