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never yet successfully accomplished—so I suppose that, as usual, it will be made up for him by somebody else; as for the other, after three hours' reflection, ho has really come to a decision, but, unfortunately, it is entirely opposed to every thing that the judge will tell them in his summing-up, and of course they will all be led by his lordship.
My lord will take them in hand kindly, explain away both counsel for plaintiff and for defendant, and read them a great deal of his notes, which are a rhousand-fold clearer, fuller, and more accurate t han the reporter's " flimsy," although during the trial he has been distinctly seen to write four long letters, has gone twice to sleep, and has made seven recondite legal jokes, including the famous ever-recurring and side-splitting iunuendo of
'.'idling upon the usher to cry silence, or "Sss-h!" whenever the somewhat indistinctly speaking junior for the plaintiff rises—there will be no withstanding his clear-headedness.
As you would imagine, these jurors have been in turn led away by the opposing counsel. For the plaintiff; they were made to admire the consummate common sense and discretion of the plaintiff,
Bullhead, who, having diluted his ordinary keenness with that admirable faith in human nature which is the keystone of all commereial transactions in this Areadian world, has for the first time in his life found his confidence misplaced by the conduct of the defendant. Said the advocate: far be it from him to call Floater, Esq., M.Q.S.. by any derogatory appellations; he was not a swindler, he was not a
rogue, he was not a wolf in sheep's clothing, he was perhaps the victim of a misconception or a want of memory, but a very honorable man all the same—an opinion which the jury would heartily indorse by giving full damages to his discreet and sensible client.
But, said the counsel for the defendant—a foxy man with reddish hair, angular eyes, and a mouth that seems to have a hole punched in each end of it: he would not call Mr. Bullhead a villain of the deepest dye, he would not say that he had laid a plot to blast the happiness of the domestic hearth of his unfortunate, his scrupulously respectable, and he would add his distinguished client; no, not he—far from it, he would suppose that an obtuseness of intellect on the part of the, at all events, short-tempered plaintiff, had led him to imagine, and so forth. And by-the-way, notice how these foxy counsel do cuddle themselves up, how they look askance, and wriggle about to show their honesty and straightforwardness—for indeed I suppose we must admit that they are honest and straightforward from their point of view, although they do shako their heads at his lordship whenever a particularly damaging statement is put forward by the opposite side, and although they do paint black with a gray tint, and
fhid a few spots upon the purest white. ThauL I goodness, they have the attorneys to throw the ; blame upon when there happens to be any, and the j attorneys sitting under the bar, and putting their heads together, have, I suppose, shoulders broad enough to bear it.
These two do not look ingenuous: here is the smooth and the rough. The rough one never seem* to believe a word that is said to him, while the smooth one appears to take in every thing. The one, half shutting his eyes, draws his face down and his forehead up into all the fifty lines of unbelief. while Smoothtnan drags his checks into such a lovely smiling look of faith in every thing you have to propose, that you really begin to wonder how that underhung jaw and knitted brow came into the same company. Well, there is not very much to choos'i between them.
So we w ill say that this trial has gone against the angry plaintiff; that it is one more feather in the cap of Foxy, Q.C., and money in the purse to Floater, M.Q.S.; that the jury are aware of having supported the glory of the English nation and the majesty of the law; that the learned judge, disrobed and unwigged, is no longer a good old lady, but a distinguished gentleman.
"about forty-live years since, Colonel P , a
Revolutionary veteran, but with all his youthful 'ondness for fun, kept a public house, which was nuch frequented in the long winter evenings by a number of the citizens, for the purpose of enjoying themselves in a social chat.
"On one of these occasions our conversation turned upon feats of activity, especially in jumping; and almost even7 one present had some tale to tell, either cf how far or how high he could jump or had ever Jumped.
"Colonel P , who, although then well strick
en in years, had been an uncommonly athletic and active man, listened with much apparent interest to our several tales, and when we had all spoken, he arose, and remarked,
"' Well, gentlemen, I suppose you expect me t» have something to say?'
"' Yes, Colonel; we are anxious to hear you.' "' Well, gentlemen, 1 don't know as you will believe it, but I pledge you my honor it is a fact, thai I I have seen the time when I could jump—yes, gen! tlemen, when I could jump—;i$ far at erer I eo«W 1 m my Ufi .r"