THE Courts of Illinois furnish the following incident: "About two years ago a young man of very good character hired a horse from a livery-stable to ride out to a little town about twenty miles distant. Unfortunately, when about half way out the horse was taken sick and died. The livery man sued him for the value of the horse, representing that the horse had been killed by fast riding. The case came up before the court. One of the young man's witnesses (rather green, or supposed to be, and who had a peculiar way of talking very slow) was called to the stand, and questioned thus by the prosecution: "Are you acquainted with the prisoner at the bar?' "Y-a-a-s' [very slowly drawled out]. "Well, Sir, please state to the Court what kind of a reputation he bears as regards riding fast or slow on horseback?' "Wa'al, I suppose if he was a riding with a company of persons who rode very fast, and he didn't want to be left behind, he would ride fast too. And if he was a riding with a company that rode very slow, and he didn't want to go ahead alone, I suppose he would ride slow too!' "JUDGE [very much enraged]. 'You seem very much inclined to evade answering questions properly. Now, Sir, you have stated how the gentleman rides when he rides in fast company, and how he rides when he rides with slow company. Now, Sir, I wish you to state to the Court how the gentleman rides when he rides alone?' "Wa'al, having never had the pleasure of riding with him when he rode alone, I don't think I can tell!"" GOOD GWACIOUS! WHAT A BO-AH! "SOME time last summer Barney M'Coy and Michael Durraine, two half-Americanized sons of old Erin, were jogging home from a saw-mill, where for three years they had passed as first-class hands. Barney, by his expertness and ingenuity, in a little while got in as 'boss of the concern;' and Mike, by the aid of his chum, soon gloried in the title of 'head stocker of the gang.' Now what I was going to say was this: The pair hadn't gone far before says Barney to Mike, 'I say, Mike, we're agoin' to have a shower.' 'I believe yer,' replied Mike, turning his broad mug to the zenith, 'for't sprinkles a'ready.' Barney was right, for in less than ten minutes it came rattling down in good earnest. 'Now, see here,' said Mike, who always had a mortal aversion to getting wet, 'I'm blowed if I stand this any longer! now let's strike for that big spruce yonder, and wait till it's over.' Suiting action to word, he started off for the tree. He got within four or five rods when the tree was struck by lightning and blown to atoms, flooring Michael, as he said, for the first time since he came over. Thunder-struck as he was, Barney soon got him on his feet. 'Mike,' said he, trying to raise his spirits, 'just see what an illegant thing the lightnin' would be to run a steammill with!' 'Mebbe 'twould,' said Mike; 'but the devil might tend the engine!'" IN one of our military companies, the other day, an Irish Captain called out to his men: Attention, Company! The Orderly Sergeant will now proceed to call the roll of the absint members, and see how many of them are prisint!" A COUNTERPART to the "daily pie" anecdote, in the January Number, is the following: "I have a little nephew, scarcely four years old. While being dressed for breakfast one morning his eye fell upon a plate of warm biscuit. The language of his morning petition evidently lingering in his memory, he asked his sister, two years his senior, 'Why don't they say, Give us this day our daily biscuit? The answer was as prompt as it was conclusive: 'Why, biscuit is bread, Charlie; but bread isn't biscuit!" AN Arkansas correspondent writes: "While coming down the Warrior River the other day, I witnessed a moving scene. The steamer had rounded to at M'Kowan's Bluff to take aboard several passengers. Among these was a great lout of a lad, some twenty years old, who, for some reason unknown to your correspondent, was being shipped to Arkansas. Father and mother, and Matty his sweet-heart, stood on the bank to bid him farewell. He had evidently considered the occasion one that demanded a 'bust,' and consequently was one half drunk, and the other half decidedly corned. He shook hands with his progenitors, bidding them good-by with tolerable composure; but broke down when it came to parting with Matty. "Oh Lordy, Matty!' he blubbered, 'boo-oo, dern your sweet soul, boo-oo! Farewell, vain world, boo-oo! I'm goin' to Arkansaw!' "Perhaps we didn't laugh at this sorrowful parting; and then again, perhaps we did." THROUGH THE TUNNEL. Fashions for September. Furnished by Mr. G. BRODIE, 300 Canal Street, New York, and drawn by VOIGT from actual articles of Costume. NHE DINNER TOILET is made of mauve taffeta. The cape and bottom of skirt are trimmed with a the entire front. The sleeves are made to fall open, handkerchief style, from a small puff at the top of each. The under-sleeves have two flounces. front, with a frill of Valenciennes lace. Madonna fichu, closed in front by small gold buttons. The Valenciennes is continued from the waist, waved down the front of the skirt; a passementerie of black rosettes is placed at each folding of the lace. The sleeves, which are laid in plaits, are banded in four divisions; with frills of lace, en suite, forming cuffs. As every lady of taste consults that style of coiffure which is individually most becoming to her countenance, we do not think it necessary to specify any special mode. PROMENADE COSTUME.-The material is a gray foulard; plain close body, cut in one with skirt. LACE FICHU. The lace is plaited, and then caught up in alternating points, which disposes it in lozenges; upon each spot thus marked there is placed a noud of Garibaldi taffeta ribbon. A fall of lace, after circling the neck-forming thus a collar-is arranged in overlapping folds upon the front. This allows the neck-tie to be exposed only upon one side of the neck. LACE UNDER-SLEEVES.-These are en suite with the above. NEW MONTHLY MAGAZINE. No. CXXXVII.-OCTOBER, 1861.-VOL. XXIII. BOQUET'S FUGITIVES TO FORT PITT. gland, left the latter in possession of the entire Northwest; and was supposed to be the end of all the difficulties with the Indians. Instead of this, however, it proved to be the prelude to one of the most devastating wars that ever swept our Western frontiers. The uprising among the various hostile tribes was so general, and their attack on our outposts so sudden and overwhelming, that, with two exceptions, the fighting was all on their side. The French, who had hitherto held them in subjection, had won over some tribes through the influence of the Catholic priests, and others by their kind, conciliatory conduct; so that the most friendly relations subsisted between them. Hence, when under the treaty they came to be handed over to Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1861, by Harper and Brothers, in the Clerk's Office of the District Court for the Southern District of New York. VOL. XXIII.-No. 137.-00 |