Page images
PDF

i out a great calf—bah!' He was particularly shrewd in meeting and warding off the attack of an adversary. About the time the new Constitution was formed in this State he attended a camp-meeting at Granby, in which he dwelt with great earnestness on the position that'a law-established religion is wicked.' Ue said, 'it was wicked as it existed under Pharaoh; it was wicked as it existed under Nebuchadnezzar; it was always wicked; but when Daniel came out the toleration ticket prevailed.' In a conversation with the Rev. Dr. M , a Congregational minister of this State, the Doctor stated that he felt that sin mingled with every thing that he did —that there was sin in his very prayers. My old friend did not hesitate to say that he tad no relish for the doctrine that we must live in sin, and set people to serve the devil and dance. 'But,' said Dr. M ,'I regard dancing as a very civil and innocent recreation.' 'Then,' replied Billy, 'if there is sin in praying, and no sin in dancing, the sooner you stop your prayers and begin to dance the better.'"

These are some of the lighter things in the book. It is full of the deeds and words of the noble men who have served tho Chureh and rested from their labors: serious, godly, great men, like whom we shall all wish to be when the day comes for which all other days are made. And so with this little sermon we dismiss Dr. Sprague and his Methodist Ministers.

But we are reminded of the flight of time. This Number begins the twenty-third volume of the Monthly. Eleven years we have opened and shut this Drawer for the amusement of mankind and the ladies, who are among the best of our readers and contributors. The publishers are always pleased when the new year opens with new lists of subscribers, to whom they offer great inducements on the cover, and the Drawer offers still greater inducements within. Now is the time for clubs, and the more we hear from the better for us and for you.

A Gentleman of rare accomplishments, writing from Ohio, says:

"Like your correspondent who 'used the glass kept for the niggers,' and who relates the joke at his own expense so pleasantly in the Drawer for April, I am a constant traveler. On one occasion I was journeying from Paris, Kentucky, to Maysville by stage. The night was delightful, and having the stage entirely to myself, I was in the full enjoyment of my third cigar when the stage drew np in front of the hotel at the Blue Lick Springs. After supper I resumed my seat, and was just settling myself for a comfortable smoke and dream when the stage-door opened, and a clear, musical voice asked if there was room inside. Of course I answered yes, and took her hand in mine to assist her into the stage. Offering her the back-seat, I sat down by her side and attempted to open a conversation. The weather, the season at the Springs, the water, all were tried. It was no go. She evidently regarded me as impertinent, and was determined to impress me with her dignity. On we rattled over the smooth road, and soon I fell asleep, and slept I know not how long, but was at last awakened by my companion leaning heavily against me. Moving back slightly, I allowed her head to sink gradually upon my lap. Ah! thought I, you were caught napping that time. Some belle of the season, possibly, sleeping here as quietly on my lap as a child

sleeping on its mother's breast. No sleep for me any more. It was the first time any woman's head had ever rested there, and might be the last; tho precious moments must not be lost in sleep.

"Soon after midnight the stage rolled up to the Lee House, and old Renz Connell came out with a light, precisely as he has done every night for twenty years; and I sat still—I wanted him to see my triumph. The light shining in her face awakened us both—her from sleep, and me to the fact that I had staid awake three mortal hours to hold a nigger's head!"

"My little niece, coming in from play the other day, was loud in her complaints against one of her playmates. Her mother sat by the window sewing, and my niece took her little chair and sat down by her side, when the following conversation ensued:

"Niece. 'Ma, who makes little girls?'

"mamma. 'God makes them. Don't you know God makes every body?'

"Niece. 'Well, if I had been God I would never have made Susie Lampkins!'"

We are not yet done with the humors of the election. Here we have a story from Nebraska:

Graves has a slight impediment in his speech, but for all that he is an active worker among the "Irish element" whenever there is a Democratic caucus or an election to be held; and it is sometimes an object to know how Graves will go, for when he promises to support a man hell do it in spite of every thing, and generally takes the Irish with him. When the party nominations for members of the

Legislature were about being made last fall, S

was a prominent candidate, backed by Hanse (his right bower), who, to make a sure thing of the nomination for S , sought out Graves to secure his

co-operationAfter the caucus was over and the votes all

counted, S was found to have been beaten by

about three to one; and as Hanse could count up the names of many more persons who had promised to vote for S than he had received votes, concluded that Graves had "failed to connect." When they again met the following conversation was held:

Hanse (looking disappointed). "I say, Graves, why didn't you support S , as you agreed to?"

Graves. "Never pr-pr-promised to."

Hanse (emphatic). "Yes you did."

Graves. '' Where d-did I?"

Hanse. "Why, down at Mac's office."

Graves. "Th-th-think not; told you Ig-g-guessed I would; but I'm the poorestg-g-guesser you ever see—hardly everg-g-guess right."

"we have here several flourishing 'missionschools,' and among the teachers is a Mr. R ,

who is an especial favorite with the decidedly' miscellaneous assortment' of scholars, not only for his singing, in which they delight, but because of his power in interesting them in Bible stories.

"A few Sundays ago Mr. R was telling them

the story of Esther, stopping occasionally, according to custom, to ask a few questions, thereby insuring their attention and interest.

"After enlarging upon Haman's hatred, and endeavors to get rid of Mordecai, and their result, he asked, 'And how do you suppose Haman felt now, when the King had commanded that not only Mordecai but every one belonging to the Jewish nation should be destroyed?' 'Bully!' replied a little ragamuffin on the front scat, with an emphasis and' earnestness that upset the gravity both of teachers; and scholars.

"Otras Charlie, three and a half years old, is a great admirer of military men, and of Generals in particular—always listening with the greatest delight to such stories as relate to the exploits of Washington, Taylor, and Scott. He is uncommonly observant of the conversation carried on before him, often fitting the words of his elders to his own ideas in a very funny fashion.

"Not long since papa and mamma were discussing our national difficulties over their evening papers, quite unmindful of Charley, who, in full regimentals of paper hat and wooden sword, was busied in creating, with the help of a chair and half a dozen musie-books, a suitable war charger for so distinguished a person to bestride. After attaining his pereh with the utmost difficulty, ho called out triumphantly, 'Look, mamma, look! I'm General Gov'ment!' As he was in imminent danger of a downfall, nobody disputed the resemblance."

"thr following anecdotes were related to me many years ago by Lord Stowell's valet. I do not know if they have ever appeared in print. I venture to forward them as a contribution to the Editor's Drawer connected with your excellent New Monthly Magazine:

"The late Lord Stowell, better known to the legal fraternity of this country as Sir William Scott, was fond of telling a good joke in his convivial moments,

and Mr. R , the rector of the village in which his

lordship's country-seat was situated, always came in for a pretty fair sprinkling. The following anecdote Lord S. would relate, giving it a gusto which it somewhat loses in a recital. A few years before, when Mr. R—*- was appointed to the living, ho found the church choir very old and very self-willed. Among other peculiarities they always sang the same psalm to the same tune from one year's end to another, in the quaint old style then in vogue, commencing thus:

"'All people that on earth do dwell,

To God their cheerful voices rake,' etc .

"Mr. R bore this for some time. At length he resolved to have a change, and mentioned the subject to the clerk. 'Amen' solemnly shook his head. 'It will be no use, your Honor; they'll break down.' 'Well,' says the worthy man, by way of compromise, 'they can sing the tune to another psalm of the same metre.' But on the following Sunday the old clerk arose, and with the usual nasal twang again commenced,'Let us sing unto the praise

and glory of God the psalm: All people that on

earth do dwell.' This was a little more than the reverend gentleman's temper could brook, and stooping down from his reading-desk, exclaimed, in a voice that was intended for a whisper, but loud

enough for half the congregation to hear,' all

people that on earth do dwell! give out something new.'

"His Lordsiid? did not always escape scot-free. On one occasion, at the dinner-table, the servants had placed a fat goose in front of the clergyman. 'I have frequently noticed,' says Lord S., addressing the company, 'that if a fat goose be brought to the table, it is placed before a parson, if there is one present; how is that, Mr. R ?' 'Why, really, my lord, I can not say, nor did I know it was tho cus

tom; but there is something so odd in the remark that I am sure I shall never see a goose again, as long as I live, without thinking of your lordship.'"

Miltos speaks of the "darkness of excessive light." The perfection of the artistic poem following is that its faults culminate in positive virtues: it is so outrageously bad as to be actually a curiosity in its way—a real good. Such a talent for the invention of words that are not words, such a power of expression without the use of language hitherto known to books, is rarely if ever bestowed on men. Surely poetry is a divine art: poela tuueitur nonjit.

. JANIE IN HEAVEN. Flown, Janle, flown from gleams of sordid eorthness,

'Scaped through brief fate unto thy joyful station— Sweet prelude calm to sparkling seraph birthness.

Where thy young morning pays her first oblation. Fled from the Joys which give but barren dearthness

To richest peace in woless congregation, From childish glee to loud eestatic mirthness

Amid the lyres of heaven's enraptured nation.

In strong, and vast, and piereing contemplation, Designed in bliss to break no cireling hearthness,

Nor given again to fleshly degradation. Amid thy queening mates all thrilling joyful, Thou reign'et in Jesus' blaze, forever then: employfuL

No more a child, we yield thee up a goddess;

We yield thee now an ardent dazzling flamer, Of His tall worth a glad and vigorous laudess;

Through all Ilia realms Christ's own impassioned nomer,

'Mid his delights a ranger-wide-abroadess,

Loud with thy mates to be His glory's famer. Yo of His banners each the standard-roddess—

His Justice, merey, wisdom, lave, procloimer. Thou not of Him—while yet within thy soddess—

Thou not of Him for mortal sufferings blamer: No thought of this, thou freshly-loosed goddess,

Shall ever prove of ringing shouts a tamer. No: memories bring but spirit's quickened motion! In young disbo lied hearts they spring increased devotion!

A Godhead born, mild virgin princess queeny!

Fair sovereign empress, in thy sway thou glowest In radiant courts, thyself superior sheeny;

Nor infant fancy more in guess bestowest: Of those pure climes no longer now beweeny,

But thy wrapped thought their darksome mysteries knowest.

On marge reclined against fresh sylvan leany,
Or towers of heights thereon thy subjects showest:

Zlonle summits spread their prospects sceny,
Adown whose floods thou oft thy barges flowest.

Full oft the bloomings of the dells are gleany,
Oft skim'st the oceans, oft on lakelets rowest:And oft, explorer, from the sides of mountains,

Glldest down their spouting shafts unto tho depths of fountains.

Ye through the sunbeams wander ever, heeding
To every vibrant, every prospect sightly,

Or ride the cloudlets, through the fleeces speeding.
And glance from folds, and flash above them sprightly:

Lodging with birds, where blossoms ever seeding
Fling down strange wreaths from distance far aheight-

And deep withdrawn when star-faint curtains brooding,
The gathered viers cheer tho imint-ones brightly

Amid the globe', exhaustless liquors feeding,
Ye, sacred gay, move round your sportings nightly,

Within their glare your dancings treading, leading
Wild brisky chases, thrilly, blessed, detightly,

And join your tones, when bursts in Invocation,

'Mongst every voice in heaven, the Minstrel of Creation.

A New Bedford denier in "notions"says he was done for in this way:

"Dealing in almost every thing, from a fine toothcomb to a mowing machine, we sometimes sell skates; and buying a lot at auction last fall, we thought to monopolize all the small-boy trade by posting a naming placard announcing that we sold skates at twenty cents a pair. This attracted all the boys in the street, and great was the inquiry to see our twenty-cent skates; so one frosty morning in comes the hero of our story, and looking over the counter I saw a little fellow, hardly tall enough to reach the top by standing tip-toe. In answer to my inquiry, 'Do for you, my lad?' he asked if we 'had skates for nineteen cents?' I told him our price was twenty, but we would try to accommodate him. 'Well,' says the boy, straightening up to his full length, 'I've got all but eighteen cents, and when I get the rest I guess 111 buy a pair;' and turning on his heel he walked off with as much importance as would one of our oil nabobs about closing a purchase of a cargo of sperm."

"My friend A has a bright boy, a little over

three years old, and his father and mother are not the only ones who think him ahead of most boys. Let me tell you one or two of his sayings:

"Not long ago his father and mother commenced taking French lessons, and Freddy was sometimes present when they were 'driving at' those peculiar nasal and guttural sounds which every beginner in that study has to master. One day Freddy and his older sister were out riding with me, and we passed a field where some cattle were bellowing as if on a wager. IIe looked up very serious and earnest, saying, 'H , be those cows studying French!'

"Ever after that, when we were on 'Lesson Third,' visions of 'the cattle on a thousand hills' came before me."

Some twenty or twenty-five years ago, when the good village of Amsterdam, on the Mohawk, boasted a new stone school-house, a new teacher "from Down East," and a new school library (Harper and Brothers' series), the school, or the teacher, or the library, or all of them, were visited by a young lady too far advanced to be a scholar—a kind of Miss Slimmens in literature and love matters—who, after saying the smart things she had fixed for the occasion, and giving her blandest smile to the school (the teacher included), made known her business, which was to get a book for her own reading from the new library. The library was thrown open, and the school went on till, after a long and seemingly difficult search, she made her selection. The teacher took his place at the desk "to record according to law," and inquired the title of the book she had taken. In her prettiest voice she told him she had selected Harper and Brothers. You should have heard, at intermission, the school speculate on the "object of her choice:" one claiming that she expected music from the Harper; another that it was the Brothers she was after; while another, a Miss of sixteen, thought her knowledge of letters would be improved by reading all the books of that title, but roguishly hinted that she ought to have commenced earlier in life.

"I Have noticed, once or twice, aneedotes in the

Drawer of good old Dr. J , of Ncwburgh. The

Doctor was very easily affected, and invariably wept while preaching. One Sunday he alluded to an old lady who had died during the week. Having largely expatiated on her worth as a Christian, he alluded

to her prayerful habits, and closed his remarks by trying to repeat that beautiful hymn,

u '1 love to steal a while away.' The Doctor had got thus far without weeping. The congregation were very much affected, but judge of the change when the Doctor said,

"' She loved to steal' Here he broke down, and wept for some seconds. Again he tried to repeat the hymn. But when he got as far as

"'She loved to steal—' he broke down again. For the third time he commenced it, and a third time failed.

"I do not suppose the Doctor intended to imply that this was one of her Christian graces; but the excellent man-—for he was one of the best men that ever lived—certainly set us to thinking how a good woman could love to steal any thing."

One of the many learned contributors to the Drawer, a perfect Dr. Parr indeed, writes:

"Audax sum, Friend Drawer—but then I belong to a race whom the poet characterizes as 'Audax omnia perpeti,' which, freely translated, means 'Bold enough to perpetrate any thing;' and so I claim forgiveness for being so much exercised over two lines from Plato that I send them:

"' 'A0'rtpar t,caBpttt ucr't;p t'/ioc'

Oupavor, »r iroXXoK ofifiaetv
E»c ie /3Atir'ii.'

Of course I must send you a version of them—and more than one, so that you may choose the best. Will this do?

'"My star—tho heavens look love on thee;
Thou gazest at the sky:
AM would that I those heavens could be,
And every star an eye.'
Or this?

w' My star each night looks up at starry skies;
Would I were they.
To gaze on her with heaven's myriad eyes
Till morning gray!'

Or will you permit me to depart a little from the original, and give you what it suggested to me in the following:

"* Each kindly star of holy night
That gazes on my fair,
To me beams now its eye of light,
And shows her uurror'd there.'

"There, Sir, I've done my share, now let some other reader of the Drawer render homage to Plato's love epigrams, and oblige S. II."

"Peeoy'b Cbeek, Wilkinson Co., Mjss., February 1,1861.

"In the extreme southern section of this State,

in the County of F , dwells as tall and gaunt a

specimen as is seldom met with, answering to the name of Ham (whether a descendant of that worthy character of old, history saith not). Both minister and lawyer, he might be said to worship God and the—people. In the capacity of the former some said he possessed a pretty fair reputation; but it is in the latter that he displayed much zeal — some thought he was too zealous, and were impious enough to give vent to the expression of fear they entertained for 'Brother Ham,' of his having to pray mighty hard sometimes. But to the case in point.

"It so happened that he had an 'appointment' to

fill in the chureh of M on the Sunday previous

to the regular May term of the Cireuit Court in F County. He chose for his text Revelation xxi. 8, expatiating long, learnedly, and eloquently thereupon, showing forth the evil effects of sinful practices in general, and that of lying in particular. His words seemed to fall upon attentive ears, and upon none more so than old Sister B 's, who resolved to practice what her minister preached. Now it so happened that on the following week this reverend gentleman of the cloth had quite an important and extremely knotty case to argue in the 'halls of Justice,' in which Sister B figured as quite an important witness for the opposite side. The testimony had all been given in with the exception of herself, and Brother Ham had not established a single point; consequently he began to feel as though it were going to prove an unimportant case to him at least, for his was a contingent fee. Matters were growing desperate; the testimony so far had all

been against him. Sister B was now called to

the stand, and after the opposite counsel was through, Brother Ham proceeded to cross-question her. After asking several questions which were in accordance with her testimony already given, ho ventured to propound one or two which evidently had a tendency to cause her to contradict herself. This 'insult,' as she styled it afterward, was too great to be borne; and, utterly regardless of time or place, she gave vent to her indignation and astonishment in the following words: 'Wa'ol now, Brother Ham, it was only last Sunday that you was a preaching up to me not to tell a lie, and now here you are trying to make me swear to one!' It is needless to say the gravity of the Court was overcome, and that Brother Ham had no more questions to ask old Sister B ."

Was there ever more Irish in a story than in this that a clever correspondent sends to the Drawer?

"After the City of Mexico had surrendered to General Scott, it is well known that the troops were obliged to win their way from house to houso and street to street, until they finally expelled the remnant of the Mexican army, which disputed every inch of ground from the gates of the city to the palace. The 2d Regiment United States Infantry (to which the writer belonged), under command of that sterling veteran soldier and honest man, Colonel (afterward General) Beunet Riley, were gaining ground step by step, under a hot fire from housetops and church-steeples, when Pat Mullony, a private in Company F, made a dash and intrenched himself in a door-way (the door-ways are large, with heavy projecting jams), a full half square in advance of his company, and commenced a spirited fire. When ho had fired five shots he was joined by a comrade just as he was preparing for the sixth round, who asked him what he was firing at, and desired a 'chance in.' 'Hist!'says Pat; 'wait till I fetch another of tho bla'guards. I have done the business for five of 'em, and there is another waiting to be served the same sauce.' Bang! went his sixth shot, when his comrade, together with two others who had now joined them, exploded with laughter. 'What in the divil's name be yees laughing at, at all, at all?' says Pat. 'Sure didn't I fix his flint nice enough? and, be the powers! there is another spalpeen just stepped in his place, and waiting for a dose,' ramming his cartridge home with energy.

'"Stop, Pat,' said his comrade, 'don't you see you are firing at the Apostles?'

'"And is it the Apostles, is it? Now may the howly St Pettier forgive me!' says Pat, his eyes opening like two saucers as he made the discovery

that he had been firing on two life-size statues of St. Peter and St. Paul, which stood on each side of a chureh-door, about musket-shot down the street. Pat had hit St. Peter six times. It was a standing joke against him, and he never heard the last of it as long as he remained in the regiment."

Ajtd tho noxt is as Irish as the other, and a Yankee is the hero:

"The market in the City of Mexico is in a large square near the Grand Plaza, surrounded by a walL A soldier who hailed from an Eastern State, and who had become somewhat wild with excitement and aguardiente, gained a position under the walls of the market, and commenced firing, as fast as he could load and aim, over the wall. An officer approached him, and ordered him to point out who and what he was firing at.

"' Wait till I get another shot, Sir. I never missed at that range before, and I am sure this must bring him down;' and he let go again.

'"You big fool!' said the officer, 'you are firing at that statue in the market-place!' Which was the fact—he had been firing at an equestrian statue of Santa Anna!"

After Orleans County, in the State of New York, had been erected from Genesee County into a separate organization, there arose the same old difficulty in reference to locating county buildings, which is the bone of contention, the subject of much dispute, and is often attended with as much difficulty as tho creation of a new State. Matters were thus: Albion,

in the town of B , was the most central, being

situated upon the Erie Canal, was thought to possess the greatest advantages, both natural and artificial, for the centre of business, the capital of the county. Gaines, the next town north, almost as central, contended that the village of Gaines was most suitable, and was so sanguine of success in the contention that they commenced to erect county buildings, at least a court-house. Being unable to agree, the Legislature appointed General Swift, Victory Birdseye, and General Hathaway to settle the vexed question. The Commissioners arrived by appointment, and viewed the advantages of location in the village and town of Gaines. They were feted and treated in as good style as the times would admit of, and next proceeded to visit Albion, and canvass the merits of that village. The merits of the location were discussed, and the advantages of the canal were considered. Next they were invited to visit the extensive hydraulic pmcer near the old cemetery. Now it happened that Mr. Bumpus, familiarly called Old Bump, had the rental or owned a small grist-mill in the woods above the cemetery, out of sight. From this point it was agreed that the Commissioners should view the water-power. Bump had shut the gate by agreement, and a large pond had accumulated (for it was a time of low-water), and just before the Commissioners arrived had raised the gate, and a powerful stream was the result, which at once convinced the Commissioners, whom they took good care not to detain until the pond drained off. This settled the question, and Albion became the county town.

The rector of a parish in Chenango County, New York, is the happy father of a bright-eyed little girl about two years of age. The father received a call one morning from a gentleman who is the possessor of a most ponderous and prominent nasal protuber* ance. Little "Ange" (Angeline), who was sitting on her grandmother's lap, at once noticed the extensive appendage, and doubtless struck with the thought that where one person had such a huge amount of gristle others must either be totally deficient or but stintedly supplied, raised her hand to her own face, and on making sure that she had a like organ, slipped from her grandmother's lap, and toddling up to the visitor, still clinging to her nose, exclaimed, with delight, "I've got a nose too!"

The gentleman had the good taste, seemingly, to enjoy the joke hugely, and indulged in a most hearty laugh, in which grandma and father wero foreed (unwillingly, no doubt) to join.

"Ocb little Charlie has the faculty of saying the very thing which he should not when in company. He was one day to visit a friend of the family, familiarly known as Aunt Peggy, whose forte it is to tell funny stories. As Charlie was leaving he extended the hospitalities of the family as follows:

"'Aunt Peggy, do come up to see us soon; we always like to see you, you talk so foolish P"

'' Gbacie B , our little four-year old, was lately making excursions into Biblical literature, under the guidance of a maiden aunt. She was told of the ravens that brought food to the prophet Elijah, in his solitary exile, night and morning.

"'What good ravens!' said Gracie; 'but, Aunt Libby, where did Elijah get his dinner from?'

"'Aunt Libby' hesitated a moment to frame a proper reply; when Gracie hurriedly exclaimed, as if she feared her aunt might get out the information first:

"' Oh, I know! doirn tmm—jw4 as papa ilofs!'

"Oh, these children! Elijah dining at Brown's or Delmonico's, and riding up town in a car, holding on by a strap!"

"I Have a little friend who is about six years old. The other day he was taken with a fever, and was about to be put to bed. As he did not feel very sick, he insisted on remaining up. While his mother was coaxing and trying to get him to submit to be put into his crib, his aunt—an unmarried lady, of about fifty years—came in the room. Seeing his mad capers she scolded him a little, and said to his mother, 'Why do you let that child carry on so? If he was my child he should have a good flogging, and go to bed.'

"Georgy looked up into his aunt's face, and said, with the most serious countenance in the world: 'I guess when you get a husband you'll havo to haul in your horns!'"

"mrs. C was endeavoring to compose her

little boy to sleep by singing the familiar nurserysong,

your readers; it certainly did me. The oldest, a bright little fellow with plenty of rags on his back, having finished counting a handful of coppers, suddenly broke out,

'"I say, Teddy! I have a jolly good thing! We can make lots of money out of these Englishers.'"'Go ahead,' said Teddy, pricking up his ears.

"' You see, then, Teddy, that as the procession passes, you shall play the desperate ruffian, and rush upon the Prince with a very sharp dagger, determined to kill him. Every body will cry murder, and nobody will do nothing. You have just grasped tho Prince by the throat, and are about to bury the dagger in his heart, when I rush from the crowd, and boldly seize your arm. You fight like a good feller, and holler Blood! blood! all the time. But I am too much for you. 1 drag you away, and save the Prince. Tho perlice nab you and hustle you off, while I, wounded and faint, am carried to the Revere House (that's where the fellers stop) and put to bed. I get along very slowly, for I had a narrow escape, you see. I'm a hobject of interest. The Prince and all the other old cocks inquire for me every hour. The papers give the particulars, with big headings, and the fellers cry it around the streets. When the Prince goes off he leaves me a big pile of money, a gold watch, and a seal ring with his picter in it, and begs I will come and see him as soon as I can. Teddy, I shall become a big gun then.' And Mike, in his enthusiasm, gave Teddy a slap that sent him reeling to the nearest wall.

"Teddy looked puzzled. Ho spoke slowly and doubtfully: 'But, Mike, what will become of me?'

"'Oh, you,' said Mike, slightly dashed—'you'll be taken to the Perlice Court, where you must play crazy, and they'll let you off easy—two or three years perhaps. And, Teddy,' he added, persuasively, 'when you come out I'll make your fortin'.'

"Teddy rubbed his head and brightened up. 'I say, Mike, it's a jolly good 'un—but s'pose yon play i the desperate ruffian, and get hustled by the perlice, and all that sort of thing, and I the hobject of interest?'"

'"Jack and Jill went up tho hill, To draw a pail of water; Jack fell down and broke his crown,' etc. "Supposing the little fellow was well off into dream-land, she was surprised to hear him 'open very heavy on the yell.' Asking him what was the matter, she was answered, '/ want J ill to help Jack

One of our Boston correspondents writes: "Daring the visit of the Prince of Wales to this city I overheard, at a street corner, a conversation between two newsboys, which I think may amuse

"A Few years since, sitting quietly in my office, a heavy rap at my door introduced a rough, hardlooking man, with wild, hard eyes, and grizzly hair and beard, tolerably well clad, but altogether a pretty hard-looking customer, and, as I soon discovered, with a wooden leg.

'''Good-morning, your honor! will yer honor plase to help a poor fellow on toward Boston, where he can get a new leg that'll walk just like this same?' pointing to the sound leg: 'I've got twenty-seven dollars, and if I can make it up to forty, IH bo just the happiest man in the world!'

"Feeling in rather a liberal mood myself, and somewhat struck with the peculiar wild Irish phiz of the man, I asked him how he lost his leg, and whether he had any thing to show that he was 'all right.' 'God bless yer honor! jist read all thim papers;' and forthwith began to fumble in his pockets for documents. Satisfied that he was a 'proper case,' and feeling disposed to make him 'happy,' I handed him five dollars (evidently more than he expected), accompanied with the injunction that if I should ever lose a leg and apply to him he must help me in return.

"The poor fellow seemed overcome with gratitude, and exclaimed, with tears in his eyes, 'Oh, yer honor, never doubt Mike O'Counor! God bless yer honor! Oh, I wish yer honor could just now

« PreviousContinue »