A LANDLORD'S WIFE. 189 in the best sense, a tenant-at-will, under no obligations to uphold, while all repairs would naturally fall on his landlord. In truth, he passed sundry days, off and on, as it is called, at this very hostel; and whatever business he might have pleaded in the morning, there was at least nothing fictitious in his amusement in the afternoon. "No man is a hypocrite in his pleasures," says Dr. Johnson; and when frequently our gay comedian, engaged either at backgammon with his twinkling hostess, or telling fortunes from the sixpenny catechism, declared himself the most enviable fellow in the parish, he verily said what he thought. The house was, however, well-ordered; for the good landlord seemed to be quite aware that, if his wife were neglected, that defection could easily be supplied; but if the affairs of the house were disregarded, the remedy might not be so readily at hand. He was, therefore, sedulously attentive to business, his only recreation being in the manufacture of artificial flies for trout-fishers-a piece of art in which he was content to excel. As to his little blue-eyed wife, the only duty that devolved on her, was that of scolding the maids, for which office, however, her happy temper rendered her totally unfit. A trifling incident took place in the course of this pleasant delassement, which may serve to explain how thoroughly the domestic sky is influenced by the elementary qualities of the individuals themselves, and unquestionably proving, "Marriage is a thing, I take it, Just as the parties choose to make it.” Elliston had been playing-"his custom of an afternoon"-a hit at backgammon with the sprightly mistress of the neatest house of entertainment in Liverpool, and for the most satisfactory of all possible stakes-namely, kisses, (for whether you win or lose, it comes to pretty nearly the same thing,) and having been singularly unfortunate in his throws, was in the very act of paying his debts, like a gentleman, when the door gently opening, Boniface himself entered the apartment. Great and immediate was the confusion, but it was a sense our losing gamester had the undivided impression of, for the frolic of a kitten could scarcely have been less an operation of disregard to the married pair, than this identical contretemps. which has been the darling coup de scène of half the comedies from the days of Congreve to the new piece of yesterday. But, in point of fact, the landlord (mild as our old acquaintance "Mr. Tow-wouse") had no eyes at his disposal, the only pair he was possessed of, being nervously fixed on a tumbler of brandy-andwater, which he held at that very moment in custody, the contents whereof being just level with the rim, demanded all the dexterity he was master of for its level preservation. And having now taken a lump of sugar from a corner cupboard, and thrown the same into a thimble glass, he took his departure as calmly as he entered, for the purpose of conveying the steaming mixture into the "Commercial Room." As to the lady, the effect produced was equally unworthy particular remark-she chuckled, and uttered, "Droll man!" so that Elliston was at once relieved from the necessity of a speech, which no doubt would have been clear and satisfactory as the explanation of Joseph Surface himself. The reader being now pretty conscious of the Italian sky under which this wedded pair had consented to live, may have some apprehension for the fair fame of our hero, seeing that like fire which had once reached the first floor of the building, there was some danger threatening the thatch; but we are by no means prepared, by any evidence we at present have, to lead them to such painful conclusions. At the same time, we would earnestly counsel our host of the "Star," that people who sleep with their doors unfastened, cannot expect to be so secure as they who bar them up; while, on the other hand, for the "actor's benefit," we would also advise him, that it has been decided, over and over again, by the highest legal authority, that he who raises only the latch, commits as clear a felony as he who passes the threshold. We will now beg leave to break up the party, particularly as the above, may not be the only interview our readers may have with these good-natured individuals, in the course of these Memoirs. We may be permitted, however, to notice, that at the period of Christmas, for seven years following this event, Mrs. Elliston received a full-sized hamper, containing the best produce of St. John's market, as a friendly gift from her husband's pleasant acquaintances in Liverpool. [At the short peace with France in this year (1802), Mr. Kemble paid a visit to Paris. The following is from a French paper at the time : "Mr. Kemble, the celebrated actor of London, whose arrival at Paris has been announced by all the papers, is a fine figure, and appears to be from 36 to 40 years of age. His hair dark, and the marked character of his features, give him a physiognomy truly tragic. He understands and speaks perfectly well the French language, but in company he is thoughtful and incommunicative. His manners are, however, very distinguished, and he has in his look an expression of courtesy that gives us the best idea of his education. The Comedie Française has received him with the respect due to the Lekain of England."] CHAPTER VIII. Haymarket Theatre-Foote's Patent- Sharp correspondence between Colman and Elliston-Declaration, Plea, and Rejoinder, Surrejoinder Issue-Dimond - His historyBlissett, humours of-Some account of him-His own history of the Bath theatre-Elliston baffled at Oxford-Correspondence with the Vice-Chancellor-Mr. Gore-Escourt, the player-A curious anecdote respecting him-An innocent youth-A happy escape. Ar the close of the Haymarket season, in September, 1802, Colman's deputed manager, Fawcett, in his farewell address, said "That when a royal patent was about to be granted to the late Mr. Foote, it was inquired, with that justice which characterizes the British throne, what annual extent of term might be allowed him, without injury to the winter theatres. With their consent, it was fixed to be from the 15th of May to the 15th of September, and a patent for life was granted to Foote for that period. Foote's entertainments were unique. He depended principally on his own writing and personal acting. "At his death, a licence was granted to the elder |