Except a minstrel that slew a man,
So to his heritage he wan,

And enterit by brieve of richt1.

Then cried Mahoun for a Hieland Padyane2:
Syne ran a fiend to fetch Makfadyane,
Far northwast in a neuck;

Be he the coronach had done shout,
Ersche men so gatherit him about,
In hell great room they took:
Thae tarmigants, with tag and tatter,
Full loud in Ersche begoud to clatter,
And roup like raven and rook1.

The Devil sae deaved 5 was with their yell;

That in the deepest pot of hell

He smorit them with smoke!

VI.

SIR DAVID LYNDSAY.

(1490-1555-)

SATIRE ON THE SYDE TAILLIS-ANE SUP-
PLICATIOUN DIRECTIT TO THE KINGIS
GRACE-1538.

The specimen of Lyndsay cited below-this satire on long trains-is by no means the most favourable that could be desired, but it is the only one that lent itself readily to quotation. The archaic spelling is slightly modernized.

SCHIR! though your Grace has put gret order

Baith in the Hieland and the Border

Yet mak I supplicatioun

Till have some reformatioun

1 letter of right.

2 Pageant.

By the time he had done shouting the coronach or cry of help, the

Highlanders speaking Erse or Gaelic gathered about him.

4 croaked like ravens and rooks. 5 deafened. 6 smothered.

1

Of ane small falt, whilk is nocht treason
Though it be contrarie to reason.
Because the matter been so vile,

It may nocht have ane ornate style;
Wherefore I pray your Excellence
To hear me with great patience:
Of stinking weedis maculate
No man nay mak ane rose-chaplet.
Sovereign, I mean of thir syde tails,
Whilk through the dust and dubis trails
Three quarters lang behind their heels,
Express again' all commonweals.
Though bishops, in their pontificals,
Have men for to bear up their tails,
For dignity of their office;

Richt so ane queen or ane empress;
Howbeit they use sic gravity,
Conformand to their majesty,
Though their robe-royals be upborne,
I think it is ane very scorn,
That every lady of the land

Should have her tail so syde trailand;
Howbeit they been of high estate,
The queen they should nocht counterfeit.

Wherever they may go it may be seen
How kirk and causay they soop1 clean.
The images into the kirk

May think of their syde taillis irk2;

For when the weather been maist fair,

The dust flies highest in the air,

And all their faces does begarie.

Gif they could speak, they wald them warie3..
But I have maist into despite

sweep.

2 be annoyed.

3 curse or cry out.

Poor claggocks1 clad in raploch-white,
Whilk has scant twa merks for their fees,
Will have twa ells beneath their knees.
Kittock that cleckit2 was yestreen,
The morn, will counterfeit the queen:
And Moorland Meg, that milked the yowes,
Claggit with clay aboon the hows3,
In barn nor byre she will not bide,
Without her kirtle tail be syde.
In burghs, wanton burgess wives
Wha may have sydest tailis strives,
Weel borderéd with velvet fine,
But followand them it is ane pyne:
In summer, when the streetis dries,
They raise the dust aboon the skies;
Nane may gae near them at their ease,
Without they cover mouth and neese.
I think maist pane after ane rain,
To see them tuckit up again;

.

Then when they step furth through the street,
Their fauldings flaps about their feet;

They waste mair claith, within few years,

Nor wald cleid fifty score of freirs.
Of tails I will no more indite,
For dread some duddron1 me despite:
Notwithstanding, I will conclude,
That of syde tails can come nae gude,
Sider nor may their ankles hide,
The remanent proceeds of pride,
And pride proceeds of the devil,
Thus alway they proceed of evil.

Ane other fault, sir, may be seenThey hide their face all but the een; 1 draggle-tails.

2 hatched.

3 houghs.

4 slut.

When gentlemen bid them gude-day,
Without reverence they slide away.
Without their faults be soon amended,
My flyting1, sir, shall never be ended;
But wald your Grace my counsel tak,
Ane proclamation ye should mak,
Baith through the land and burrowstouns2,
To shaw their face and cut their gowns.

Women will say this is nae bourds3,
To write sic vile and filthy words.
But wald they clenge their filthy tails
Whilk over the mires and middens trails,
Then should my writing clengit be;
None other mends they get of me.

BISHOP JOSEPH HALL.

(1574-1656.)

VII. ON SIMONY.

"

This satire levels a rebuke at the Simoniacal traffic in livings, then openly practised by public advertisement affixed to the door of St. Paul's. Si Quis" (if anyone) was the first word of these advertisements. Dekker, in the Gull's Hornbook, speaks of the Siquis door of Paules", and in Wroth's Epigrams (1620) we read, "A Merry Greek set up a Siquis late". This satire forms the Fifth of the Second Book of the Virgidemiarum.

AW'ST thou ever Siquis patcht on Pauls Church door
To seek some vacant vicarage before?

Who wants a churchman that can service say,
Read fast and fair his monthly homily?

And wed and bury and make Christen-souls"?

Come to the left-side alley of St. Paules.
Thou servile fool, why could'st thou not repair
To buy a benefice at Steeple-Fair?

There moughtest thou, for but a slendid price,
Advowson thee with some fat benefice:

Or if thee list not wait for dead mens shoon,

Nor pray each morn the incumbents days were doone:
A thousand patrons thither ready bring,

Their new-fall'n1 churches, to the chaffering;
Stake three years stipend: no man asketh more.
Go, take possession of the Church porch door,
And ring thy bells; luck stroken in thy fist
The parsonage is thine, or ere thou wist.
Saint Fool's of Gotam2 mought thy parish be
For this thy base and servile Simony.

VIII. THE DOMESTIC TUTOR'S POSITION.

This satire forms the Sixth of Book II. of the Virgidemiarum, and is regarded as one of Bishop Hall's best. See the Return from Parnassus and Parrot's Springes for Woodcocks (1613) for analogous references to those occurring in this piece.

A

GENTLE squire would gladly entertain

Into his house some trencher chapelain;
Some willing man that might instruct his sons,
And that would stand to good conditions.
First, that he lie upon the truckle-bed
Whiles his young master lieth o'er his head.
Second that he do on no default

Ever presume to sit above the salt.

Third that he never change his trencher twice.
Fourth that he use all common courtesies:

Sit bare at meals and one half rise and wait.

1 newly fallen in, through the death of the incumbent.

2 Referring to Andrew Borde's book, The Merry Tales of the Mad Men of Gotham.