Indeed, you must pardon me if I say our being here at all is entirely your own fault, my dear ma'am." "My own fault, sir?" Ay, truth is it, ma'am." "Dare you insinuate-" "I insinuate nothing. But if ladies will sing with their windows open, especially when they sing so divinely as you do, my dear ma'am, they must not complain if gentlemen within ear-shot are unable to resist the attraction. You may as well set cream before a cat, and punish her for drinking it. If I'd been to be shot for it, my dear ma'am,” continued P—— warmly, "I couldn't help coming here." "No more could I," said M 66 "No more could I," re-echoed his uncle. Indeed, we're all so passionately fond of music, that—” "That we're dying to hear another song, my dear ma'am," said P―, again taking up the ball, "and hope you'll favour us; and that's what we came for-so now the murder's out. If you insist upon it, we'll stand in the balcony,-though it certainly does look like rain, and the Joneses might see us. Ah! sure now, you can't refuse us? On our knees, my dear maʼam-” And down they all flopped. This is excessively ridiculous," said the lady, biting her lip. "However, I insist on your going, though, the moment the song is concluded. Ce n'est le premier pas qui coute ! que an hour hence the whole party sat down to "champagne and chicken." On a sudden, rap-rap-rap-ring-ring-ring. "His Lordship!" said Mrs. C, starting up. "The devil it is!" exclaimed P "Run! run!" cried the lady, bundling the plates and dishes under the sofa. In an instant the trio were in Jack's balcony. It rained pitchforks. There was no verandah. "D-n it, we're shut out!" whispered P-, trying the windows. "The deuce we are!" said D. over his head. spreading his handkerchief "Jack! Jack!" cried M, tapping gently against the glass. "Man alive! can't you let us in?" said P- applying his mouth to the window-frame. "He's not there!-he's gone to the theatre!" groaned D despairingly. "Oh! we can never stand this, you know," cried M―, getting from under the water-spout; 66 we might as well be under the falls of Niagara! I'm wet through already, and-" "So am I," said D, wringing his pocket-handkerchief; "it's all running down my back-bone! What shall we do? We can't stay here all night. I vote for rousing the family." No, no!" cried P, who enjoyed their agonies; "we shall compromise the lady. Just take it coolly now-have a little patience, and—” "Patience! "Zounds!' "Hollo! vot are you all arter there?" bawled the watchman, overhearing them. My eyes! here's a pretty-Thieves ! thieves! thieves!" and he sprang his rattle. "Where? where? where?" cried his Lordship, shooting into Mrs. C's balcony. "Where? where? where?" echoed a hundred voices from the adjoining houses. "Where? where? where?" screamed Jack's landlady, in a portentous night-cap, at the second-floor window. "In your balcony, mum!" shouted the watchman, labouring away at the knocker. "If you looks down, mum, you'll see um. But you only jist let us up, and we'll soon secure the warmin." "Here!—John!-Thomas!” cried the Earl; and in a trice the trio found themselves in the custody of his Lordship's servants and a whole posse of watchmen. "You'd better take them to the watchhouse at once," said the Earl, as they all adjourned into Jack's drawing-room. 66 66 'Ay! come along!-away with um!" chorussed all the Charleys. Stop! stop!" vociferated D. - struggling. "There's no occasion to be in such a d-d hurry. I'll trouble you to take your knuckles out of my stock, sir. It's a mistake-it is, upon my soul! We're no thieves, but gentlemen, and-" "I do assure you we're gentlemen, my Lord," said M- appealing to the Earl. "Where's the servant ?" shouted P. -she-" -. "Here! Polly! Sally! "Come! none of this 'ere!" said the Charley en chef. "We can't stand talking here all night. You can say vot you 've got to say vhen ve has you hup in the morning afore Sir Richard. Howsomever, if you're gen'elmen, I should jist like for to know vot brought you hall hout into this 'ere 'spectable lady's balcony at this 'ere time o' night, in the rain, vithout no hats on ?" "Ay! how came you into my balcony ?" demanded the landlady, who had never seen them before. Ay! explain THAT!" emphasized the Earl. This being one of those numerous questions which are more easily asked than answered, the détenus were silent. "The servant knows who we are," muttered M▬▬▬ at length. "Why, Sally, and be hanged to you!" shouted P—. "Sal-lii!" bawled the landlady, going out on the landing-place. But Sally, who had double-locked her door, was afraid to make her appearance. "You must detain them," said the Earl. "This matter can't stop here." "We "In coorse it can't," said the watchman, touching his hat. must do vot's riglar, my Lord. You can call vot vitnesses you like in the morning; but you must go to the vatchhus vith hus now, my covies. So come along-stir your stumps, and—” "Huzza!" shouted P――, kicking the lanthorn out of the nearest watchman's hand. "Huzza!" echoed M- -, following P's. example. A scuffle ensued in which the remaining light was extinguished. In the confusion P and M- managed to escape. D, less fortunate, was secured and lodged in the watchhouse, where he remained grumbling and growling till P-- sent Jack to procure his release, which, however, he didn't obtain until he had paid a swingeing sum for the broken heads and broken lanthorns of the Charleys. Apprehensive the repose of his fair friend might be again disturbed,—or, for some other reason,-his lordship removed her to Bolton Street. D-, if I mistake not, had formerly held a troop in Jack's regiment. He piqued himself on his knowledge of the classics, and obtained some celebrity as an amateur at B, where he performed several of Shakspeare's characters. Latterly he took to politics, and played a conspicuous part at the elections at W. On one occasion it was feared the Tories would walk over the course. The day previous to the nomination had arrived, and no liberal candidate! The Reform Club had been written to. What did they mean by not sending down some one? It was shameful-scandalous !Dhad been all day in a fever. He had rode, and written, and fumed, and fretted, and run up the town, and down the town, and been in and out of the committee-room, until he was quite exhausted and hadn't a leg to stand on. He had retired to rest at last, quite overcome with the anxiety, fatigue, and disappointment he had undergone. About midnight he was aroused by a loud knocking. "Who's there?" cried D-, throwing up the window. "Please, be this Captain D's," inquired a countryman, mounted on a nag, which was all in a foam. 66 " Yes, I am Captain D——,” replied the latter, yawning. Please, then, you mun coom down. I ha' gotten a letter here vor you, which I wur to be zure to put into your own hands, and which you be to 'tend to immediately." "Who's it from?" demanded D——, slipping on his nether integuments. "A great Lunnon gentleman, zur, who be just coom down to zet oop as Parliament man." "A London gentleman!" "Ees, zure, zur! He be now waiting at "the White Hart," at F- where I bees under-ostler. But you mun make haste, zur, if you please. I ha' gotten another letter here, to—" Down hurried D- The man thrust the letter into his hand, and galloped off. D's eye sparkled as it glanced over the con tents. "Yes! B- himself, by Jupiter!" exclaimed he joyfully; "couldn't have had a better man! Now, Mr. Mayor!-Now, my gentlemen of the Corporation! we have you. There's an end to your jobbing. Yes yes, we shall get B in to a certainty. But I must order a postchaise. I must rattle over to him instantly. He has acted right-oh! quite right-in waiting at F-, and sending for me." Yes-yes, About two hours after a postchaise dashed furiously up to the principal inn at F. Out sprang D——. "How odd nobody is here to receive me!" thought he, as he worked away at the knocker. At length a slip-shod waiter, half asleep, obeyed the summons. "Why didn't you come before?" said D--, looking at his watch. 'Didn't you hear me drive up? But, shew me in-shew me in. It's past two already; there's not an instant to be lost.” The waiter shewed him into a room, set a chair, and inquired if he should order a bed to be got ready. "Oh God! no!" cried D, throwing his hat and gloves on the table; "no bed for me to-night-I've too much to do. We must be wide awake-have our eyes open-or those cursed Tories will be too much for us. Let me see," continued he, seating himself, and rubbing his eyes; "in the first place, I must have some strong coffee -d-d strong, sir, d'ye hear? with lots of cold spring water. But, above all, have horses ready-ready to start at a moment's notice, now. That's important." "Then your going on, sir?" said the waiter, yawning. 66 Going on!" repeated D, staring. "What should I go on for? D'ye suppose I'm going to London ?" "I-I didn't know, sir-I thought-" 66 Thought!" echoed D——, erecting himself in the chair. “Why, don't you know me? I'm Captain D! Captain D, from W—, man." "Oh! indeed, sir-are you, sir?" said the Ganymede with another yawn. "Why, of course I am!" cried D- starting up. "Who else should be ?" continued he angrily. "But, where's Mr. B——? Is this his room? He's not gone to bed, of course. Go, tell him I'm here; my compliments-Captain D's compliments, and I'm waiting-go! run now-there's not a moment to be lost. Why the devil don't you go, sir?" "Mr. Who! did you say, sir ?" inquired the waiter, looking particularly puzzled. 'Oh! you're a pretty fellow to be head waiter in such an establishment as this!" said D--, suppressing his passion, "I said Mr. B——, ye blockhead !—of course I did. Don't I tell you I'm Captain D-- from W-?-Of course I've particular business with him, you know I have; so don't stand staring there, like a dead codfish in a fishmonger's stall, but tell him I'm waiting-jump now." "Is the gentleman a bagman, sir?" said the waiter, still hesitating. “A WHAT?” bawled D——, as soon as he could speak. "A bag man!" "Yes, sir, a—a commercial gentleman-a-a "Oh! it's no use to be in a passion with this fellow!" thought —, "he's drunk-he's muddled. He doesn't understand a word I say. I must call his master." D. This latter, who had been roused by the knocking, now entered. “Oh! I'm glad you're come!" said D——. “I was just going to call you. This drunken rascal here-" "Drunk!" interrupted the waiter, indignantly, "I'm no more drunk than you are. For my part-” "Silence James!" said his master: then, turning to D——, he inquired his pleasure. "I must see Mr. B instantly-instantly. I'm Captain D-from W; and I'll thank you either to let him know I'm here, or show me to his apartment immediately." "Is there any such gentleman in the house, James?" said the landlord. "Not as I know of, sir. I never heard his name before." Why, you lying rascal," exclaimed D——, “you've been bribed by the Tories to prevent my seeing him. You know as well as I do that Mr. Barrived here about four hours ago, and sent me this letter by your under ostler. You see, it appoints me to meet him here, and-" "Do you know anything of this, James?" inquired his master. "Not a syllable, sir! I'll be shot if ever I heard of the letter, or the gentleman before. It's impossible Mr. B could be in the house without my knowing it." "Call Jem!" said the landlord. "Oh! Jem,” (addressing the under-ostler, who now joined them) "did you take this letter over to W to this gentleman?" Ay! Didn't you put it into my hands, my man, about two hours ago?" demanded D- eagerly. Jem turned the letter over-yawned-scratched his head, and returned it, saying, "Noa-never seed un afore-Twant me!" It was plain D- HAD BEEN HOAXED!!! The letter was "Some weak invention of the enemy!' and he had had his ride for nothing! "That diabolical Mayor!" cried D—, as he ordered post-horses to return. "He's at the bottom of all this." The next morning a liberal candidate arrived. D came forward to second the nomination. The Mayor, the supposed author of the letter, stood on his right hand. Every time his eye glanced on this functionary his blood boiled, until at length it boiled over, when, unable any longer to control his indignation, he pulled out the letter, and thrusting it into the Mayor's face, vociferated, "Oh! you d-d rascal! this is all your doing." POWERSCOUR T. A BALLAD. BY WILLIAM JONES. By Dargle's woodlands lone I stray'd, That trustful ones are waiting, So beautiful, it woke within The chords that had been sleeping, |