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Fent. Shall I do any good, thinkest thou? Shall I not lose my suit?

Fent. Well, I shall see her to-day. Hold, there's money for thee; let me have thy voice in my behalf: if thou seest her before me, commend

me

Quick. Troth, sir, all is in His hands above: but notwithstanding, Master Fenton, I'll be sworn on a book, she loves you: Have not your worship a wart above your eye? Fent. Yes, marry, have I; what of that? Quick. Well, thereby hangs a tale; - good faith, it is such another Nan;-but, I detest, an honest maid as ever broke bread :- We had an honest talk of the wart:- I shall never laugh but in that maid's company! But indeed she is given too much to allicholly and musing: But for you-Out upon 't! what have I forgot? Well, go to.

Quick. Will I? I' faith, that we will; and I will tell your worship more of the wart, the next time we have confidence; and of other wooers.

Fent. Well, farewell; I am in great haste now.

[Exit.

Quick. Farewell to your worship-Truly, an honest gentleman; but Anne loves him not; for I know Anne's mind as well as another does:

[Exit.

ACT II.

SCENE I. Before PAGE's House.

Enter MISTRESS PAGE, with a letter. Mrs. Page. What! have I 'scaped love-letters in the holiday time of my beauty, and am I now a subject for them! Let me see: [Reads.

"Ask me no reason why I love you; for though love use reason for his precision, he admits him not for his counselor: You are not young, no more am I; go to then, there's sympathy: you are merry, so am I; ha, ha! then there's more sympathy; you love sack, and so do I; would you desire better sympathy? Let it suffice thee, Mistress Page (at the least, if the love of a soldier can suffice), that I love thee. I will not say, "Pity me; 't is not a soldier-like phrase; but I say, "Love me." By me,

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"Thine own true knight,

By day or night,

Or any kind of light,

With all his might,

For thee to fight,

"JOHN FALSTAFF."

What a Herod of Jewry is this? O wicked, wicked world!- one that is well nigh worn to pieces with age, to shew himself a young gallant! What an unweighed behavior hath this Flemish drunkard picked (with the devil's name) out of my conversation, that he dares in this manner assay me? Why, he hath not been thrice in my com

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Mrs. Ford. Mistress Page! trust me, ing to your house.

I was go

Mrs. Page. And, trust me, I was coming to you, You look very ill.

Mrs. Ford. Nay, I'll ne'er believe that; I have to shew to the contrary.

Mrs. Page. 'Faith, but you do, in my mind. Mrs. Ford. Well, I do, then; yet I say, I could shew you to the contrary: O, Mistress Page, give me some counsel !

Mrs. Page. What's the matter, woman? Mrs. Ford. O woman, if it were not for one trifling respect, I could come to such honor!

Mrs. Page. Hang the trifle, woman; take the honor: What is it?-dispense with trifles;what is it?

Mrs. Ford. If I would but go to hell for an eternal moment or so, I could be knighted. Mrs. Page. What? thou liest! - Sir Alice

Ford! These knights will hack; and so thou lany against him, that may not sully the chariness shouldst not alter the article of thy gentry.

Mrs. Ford. We burn daylight:- here, read, read; -perceive how I might be knighted. — I shall think the worse of fat men, as long as I have an eye to make difference of men's liking: And yet he would not swear; praised women's modesty : and gave such orderly and well-behaved reproof to all uncomeliness, that I would have sworn his disposition would have gone to the truth of his words: but they do no more adhere and keep place together than the hundreth Psalm to the tune of "Green Sleeves." What tempest, I trow, threw this whale, with so many tons of oil in his belly, ashore at Windsor? How shall I be revenged on him? I think the best way were to entertain him with hope, till the wicked fire of lust have melted him in his own grease. Did you ever hear the like? Mrs. Page. Letter for letter; but that the name of Page and Ford differs! To thy great comfort in this mystery of ill opinions, here's the twin-brother of thy letter: but let thine inherit first; for I protest mine never shall. I warrant he hath a thousand of these letters, writ with blank space for different names (sure more), and these are of the second edition: He will print them out of doubt; for he cares not what he puts into the press, when he would put us two. I had rather be a giantess, and lie under mount Pelion. Well, I will find you twenty lascivious turtles, ere one chaste man.

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of our honesty. O, that my husband saw this letter! it would give eternal food to his jealousy.

Mrs. Page. Why, look where he comes; and my good man too: he's as far from jealousy, as I am from giving him cause; and that, I hope, is an unmeasurable distance.

Mrs. Ford. You are the happier woman. Mrs. Page. Let's consult together against this greasy knight: Come hither. [They retire.

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Mrs. Ford. Why, this is the very same; the Take heed, ere summer comes, or cuckoo birds do very hand, the very words: What doth he think of us?

Mrs. Page. Nay, I know not: It makes me almost ready to wrangle with mine own honesty. I'll entertain myself like one that I am not acquainted withal; for, sure, unless he know some strain in me, that I know not myself, he would never have boarded me in this fury.

sing.

Away, Sir Corporal Nym.—

Believe it, Page; he speaks sense. [Exit PISTOL.

Ford. I will be patient; I will find out this.

Nym. And this is true; [To PAGE.] I like not the humor of lying. He hath wronged me in some humors; I should have borne the humored letter to her; but I have a sword, and it shall bite upon my

Mrs. Ford. Boarding, call you it? I'll be sure necessity. He loves your wife; there's the short and to keep him above deck.

Mrs. Page. So will I; if he come under my hatches, I'll never to sea again. Let's be revenged on him: let's appoint him a meeting; give him a shew of comfort in his suit; and lead him on with a fine baited delay, till he hath pawned his horses to mine Host of the Garter.

Mrs. Ford. Nay, I will consent to act any vil

the long. My name is Corporal Nym; I speak, and I avouch. 'Tis true:-my name is Nym, and Falstaff loves your wife. - Adieu! I love not the humor of bread and cheese; and there's the humor of it. Adieu. [Exit NYM. Page. "The humor of it," quoth a'! here's a fellow frights humor out of his wits.

Ford. I will seek out Falstaff.

Page. I never heard such a drawling, affecting his voyage towards my wife, I would turn her

rogue.

Ford. If I do find it, well.

Page. I will not believe such a Cataian, though the priest o' the town commended him for a true

man.

Ford. 'T was a good sensible fellow: Well.
Page. How now, Meg?

loose to him; and what he gets more of her than sharp words, let it lie on my head.

Ford. I do not misdoubt my wife; but I would be loath to turn them together: A man may be too confident: I would have nothing lie on my head: I cannot be thus satisfied.

Page. Look, where my ranting host of the Gar

Mrs. Page. Whither go you, George? Hark ter comes: their is either liquor in his pate, or money in his purse, when he looks so merrily. How

you.

Mrs. Ford. How now, sweet Frank? why art now, mine host? thou melancholy?

Ford. I melancholy! I am not melancholy. — Get you home, go.

Mrs. Ford. 'Faith, thou hast some crotchets in thy head now. Will you go, Mistress Page?

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Enter HOST and SHALLOW.

Host. How now, bully-rook? thou'rt a gentleman: cavalero-justice, I say.

Shal. I follow, mine host, I follow.-Good even, and twenty, good Master Page! Master Page, will you go with us? we have sport in hand.

Host. Tell him, cavalero-justice; tell him bullyrook.

Shal. Sir, there is a fray to be fought, between Sir Hugh the Welch priest, and Caius the French

Mrs. Ford. Trust me, I thought on her: she 'll doctor. fit it.

Ford. Good mine Host o' the Garter, a word

Mrs. Page. You are come to see my daughter with you. Anne?

Quick. Ay, forsooth; And I pray, how does good Mistress Anne?

Host. What say'st thou, bully-rook?

[They go aside. Shal. Will you [To PAGE] go with us to beMrs. Page. Go in with us, and see; we have an hold it? My merry host hath had the measuring of their weapons; and I think he hath appointed.

hour's talk with you.

[Exeunt MRS. PAGE, MRS. FORD, and MRS. them contrary places: for, believe me, I hear the

QUICKLY.

Page. How now, Master Ford?

Ford. You have heard what this knave told me; did you not?

Page. Yes; and you heard what the other told

me?
Ford. Do you think there is truth in them?
Page. Hang 'em, slaves; I do not think the
knight would offer it but these that accuse him
in his intent towards our wives, are a yoke of his
discarded men: very rogues, now they be out of
service.

Ford. Were they his men?

Page. Marry, were they.

Ford. I like it never the better for that. - Does

he lie at the Garter?

parson is no jester. Hark, I will tell you what our sport shall be.

Host. Hast thou no suit against my knight, my guest-cavalier?

Ford. None, I protest: but I'll give you a pottle of burnt sack to give me recourse to him, and tell him my name is Brook; only for a jest. Host. My hand, bully: thou shalt have egress and regress; said I well? and thy name shall be Brook: It is a merry knight. Will you go, cavaliers.

Shal. Have with you, mine host. Page. I have heard the Frenchman hath good skill in his rapier.

Shal. Tut, sir, I could have told you more: In these times you stand on distance, your passes,

Page. Ay, marry, does he. If he should intend stoccadoes, and I know not what 't is the heart,

Master Page; 't is here, 't is here. I have seen the time, with my long sword, I would have made you four tall fellows skip like rats.

Host. Here, boys, here, here! shall we wag? Page. Have with you:-I had rather hear them scold than fight.

[Exeunt HOST, SHALLOW, and PAGE. Ford. Though Page be a secure fool, and stands so firmly on his wife's frailty, yet I cannot put off my opinion so easily: She was in his company at Page's house; and what they made there, I know not. Well, I will look further into 't: and I have a disguise to sound Falstaff: If I find her honest, I lose not my labor; if she be otherwise, 't is labor well bestowed.

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[Exit.

· A Room in the Garter Inn.

Enter FALSTAFF and PISTOL.

Fal. I will not lend thee a penny.
Pist. Why, then the world's mine oyster,
Which I with sword will open. ·

I will retort the sum in equipage.

Fal. Not a penny. I have been content, sir, you should lay my countenance to pawn: I have grated upon my good friends for three reprieves for you and your coach-fellow, Nym; or else you had looked through the grate, like a gemini of baboons. I am damned in hell, for swearing to gentlemen my friends, you were good soldiers and tall fellows: and when Mistress Bridget lost the handle of her fan, I took 't upon mine honor thou hadst it not.

your cat-a-mountain looks, your red-lattice phrases, and your bold-beating oaths, under the shelter of your honor! you will not do it, you!

Pist. I do relent; What would'st thou more of man?

Enter ROBIN.

Rob. Sir, here's a woman would speak with you. Fal. Let her approach.

Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY.

Quick. Give your worship good-morrow.
Fal. Good-morrow, good wife.

Quick. Not so, an 't please your worship.
Fal. Good maid, then.

Quick. I'll be sworn; as my mother was, the

first hour I was born.

Fal. I do believe the swearer: What with me? Quick. Shall I vouchsafe your worship a word or two?

Fal. Two thousand, fair woman; and I'll vouchsafe thee the hearing.

Quick. There is one Mistress Ford, sir;-I pray, come a little nearer this ways: -I myself dwell with Master Doctor Caius.

Fal. Well, on: Mistress Ford, you say, Quick. Your worship says very true: I pray your worship, come a little nearer this ways. Fal. I warrant thee, nobody hears ; — mine own people, mine own people.

Quick. Are they so? Heaven bless them, and make them his servants!

Fal. Well: Mistress Ford; what of her? Quick. Why, sir, she's a good creature. Lord,

Pist. Didst thou not share? hadst thou not fif- lord! your worship's a wanton: Well, heaven forteen pence.

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Fal. Reason, you rogue, reason: Think'st thou I'll endanger my soul gratis? At a word, hang no more about me, I am no gibbet for you:-go. -A short knife and a throng;-to your manor of Pickt-hatch, go. You'll not bear a letter for me, you rogue! — You stand upon your honor!· Why, thou unconfinable baseness, it is as much as I can do to keep the terms of my honor precise. I, I, I myself sometimes, leaving the fear of heaven on the left hand, and hiding mine honor in my necessity, am fain to shuffle, to hedge, and to lurch; and yet you, rogue, will ensconce your rags,

give you, and all of us, I pray!

-

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Ful. Mistress Ford; come, Mistress Ford, Quick. Marry, this is the short and the long of it; you have brought her into such a canaries, as 't is wonderful. The best courtier of them all, when the court lay at Windsor, could never have brought her to such a canary. Yet there has been knights, and lords, and gentlemen, with their coaches; I warrant you, coach after coach, letter after letter, gift after gift; smelling so sweetly (all musk), and so rushling, I warrant you, in silk and gold; and in such alligant terms; and in such wine and sugar of the best, and the fairest that

she will, say what she will, take all, pay all, go to bed when she list, rise when she list, all is as she will; and truly, she deserves it: for if there be a kind woman in Windsor, she is one. You must send her your page; no remedy.

Fal. Why, I will.

would have won any woman's heart; and, I warrant you, they could never get an eye-wink of her. - I had myself twenty angels given me this morning: but I defy all angels (in any sort, as they say), but in the way of honesty:—and, I warrant you, they could never get her so much as sip on a cup with the proudest of them all: and yet there has been earls, nay, which is more, pensioners; but, I warrant you, all is one with her. Fal. But what says she to me? be brief, my other's mind, and the boy never need to undergood she Mercury.

Quick. Marry, she hath received your letter; for the which she thanks you a thousand times: and she gives you to notify, that her husband will be absence from his house between ten and eleven. Fal. Ten and eleven?

Quick. Nay, but do so then: and look you, he may come and go between you both; and, in any case, have a nay-word, that you may know one an

stand anything; for 't is not good that children should know any wickedness: old folks, you know, have discretion, as they say, and know the world.

Fal. Fare thee well: commend me to them both: there's my purse; I am yet thy debtor. — Boy, go along with this woman. -This news distracts me! [Exeunt QUICKLY and ROBIN. Pist. This punk is one of Cupid's carriers :Clap on more sails: pursue, up with your fights; Give fire; she is my prize, or ocean whelm them all! [Exit PISTOL. Fal. Say'st thou so, old Jack? go thy ways; Fal. Ten and eleven: Woman, commend me to I'll make more of thy old body than I have done. her; I will not fail her.

Quick. Ay, forsooth; and then you may come and see the picture, she says, that you wot of;Master Ford, her husband will be from home. Alas! the sweet woman leads an ill life with him; he's a very jealousy man: she leads a very frampold life with him, good heart.

Quick. Why, you say well: But I have another messenger to your worship: Mistress Page hath her hearty commendations to you too; -and let me tell you in your ear, she's as fartuous a civil modest wife, and one (I tell you) that will not miss you morning nor evening prayer, as any is in Windsor, whoe'er be the other: and she bade me tell your worship, that her husband is seldom from home; but she hopes there will come a time. I never knew a woman so dote upon a man; surely, I think you have charms, la; yes, in truth.

Fal. Not I, I assure thee; setting the attraction of my good parts aside, I have no other charms. Quick. Blessing on your heart for 't!

Fal. But I pray thee, tell me this: has Ford's wife, and Page's wife, acquainted each other how they love me?

Quick. That were a jest, indeed!— they have not so little grace, I hope :-: - that were a trick, indeed! But Mistress Page would desire you to send her your little page, of all loves; her husband has a marvelous infection to the little page; and truly, Master Page is an honest man. Never a wife in Windsor, leads a better life than she does: do what

Will they yet look after thee? Wilt thou, after the expense of so much money, be now a gainer? Good body, I thank thee: Let them say, 't is grossly done; so it be fairly done, no matter.

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