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As You Like It.
SCENE I. — An Orchard, near OLIVER'S House. Orl. Go apart, Adam, and thou shalt hear how
he will shake me up. Enter ORLANDO and ADAM.
Oli. Now, sir! what make you here? Orl. As I remember, Adam, it was upon this Orl. Nothing: I am not taught to make anyfashion bequeathed me: by will, but a poor thous
thing and crowns; and, as thou sayst, charged my bro- Oli. What mar you then, sir? ther, on his blessing, to breed me well : and there Orl. Marry, sir, I am helping you to mar that begins my sadness. My brother Jaques he keeps which God made, a poor unworthy brother of yours, at school, and report speaks goldenly of his profit: with idleness. for my part, he keeps me rustically at home, or, to Oli. Marry, sir, be better employed, and be speak more properly, stays me here at home un
naught awhile. kept: for call you that keeping for a gentleman of Orl. Shall I keep your hogs, and eat husks with my birth, that differs not from the stalling of an them? What prodigal portion have I spent, that ox? His horses are bred better; for, besides that I should come to such penury? they are fair with their feeding, they are taught Oli. Know you where you are, sir ? their manage, and to that end riders dearly hired : Orl. O, sir, very well : here in your orchard. but I, his brother, gain nothing under him but Oli. Know you before whom, sir? growth; for the which his animals on his dung- Orl. Ay, better than he I am before knows me. hills are as much bound to him as I. Besides this I know, you are my eldest brother; and, in the nothing that he so plentifully gives me, the some- gentle condition of blood, you should so know me. thing that nature gave me his countenance seems The courtesy of nations allows you my better, in to take from me: he lets me feed with his hinds, that you are the firstborn; but the same tradition bars me the place of a brother, and, as much as in takes not away my blood, were there twenty brohim lies, mines my gentility with my education. thers betwixt us: I have as much of my father in This it is, Adam, that grieves me : and the spirit me, as you; albeit, I confess, your coming before of my father, which I think is within me, begins me is nearer to his reverence. to mutiny against this servitude: I will no longer Oli. What, boy! endure it, though yet I know no wise remedy how Orl. Come, come, elder brother, you are too to avoid it.
young in this.
Oli. Wilt thou lay hands on me, villain ?
Orl. I am no villain : I am the youngest son of Adam. Yonder comes my master, your brother. Sir Rowland de Bois; he was my father; and he
is thrice a villain, that says such a father begot old news: that is, the old Duke is banished by his villains. Wert thou not my brother, I would not younger brother the new Duke; and three or four take this hand from thy throat, till this other had loving lords have put themselves into voluntary expulled out thy tongue for saying so; thou hast ile with him, whose lands and revenues enrich the railed on thyself.
new Duke; therefore he gives them good leave to Adam. Sweet masters, be patient; for your fa- wander. ther's remembrance, be at accord.
Oli. Can you tell if Rosalind, the Duke's daughOli. Let me go,
ter, be banished with her father? Orl. I will not, till I please : you shall hear Cha. 0, no; for the Duke's daughter, her
My father charged you in his will to give cousin, so loves her, being ever from their cradles me good education : you have trained me like a bred together, that she would have followed her peasant, obscuring and hiding from me all gentle-exile, or have died to stay behind her. She is at manlike qualities : the spirit of my father grows the court, and no less beloved of her uncle than strong in me, and I will no longer endure it: his own daughter; and never two ladies loved as therefore allow me such exercise as may become a they do. gentleman, or give me the poor allottery my father Oli. Where will the old Duke live? left me by testament; with that I will go buy my Cha. They say he is already in the forest of fortunes.
Arden, and a many merry men with him; and Oli. And what wilt thou do? beg, when that is there they live like the old Robin Hood of Eng. spent ? Well, sir, get you in : I will not long be land: they say many young gentlemen flock to him troubled with you: you shall have some part of every day; and fleet the time carelessly, as they your will. I pray you, leave me.
did in the Golden world. Orl. I will no further offend
than becomes Oli. What, you wrestle to-morrow before the me for my good.
new Duke? Oli. Get you with him, you old dog.
Cha. Marry, do I, sir; and I came to acquaint Adam. Is old dog my reward? Most true, I you with the matter. I am given, sir, secretly to have lost my teeth in your service.- God be with understand, that your younger brother, Orlando, my old master! he would not have spoke such a hath a disposition to come in disguised against me word.
[Exeunt ORLANDO and Adam. to try a fall. To-morrow, sir, I wrestle for my Oli. Is it even so ? — begin you to grow upon credit; and he that escapes me without some brome? -- I will physic your rankness, and yet give ken limb, shall acquit him well. Your brother is no thousand crowns neither. Hola, Dennis ! but young and tender; and, for your love, I would
be loth to foil him, as I must, for my own honor, Enter DENNIS. if he come in : therefore, out of my love to you,
I Den. Calls your worship?
came hither to acquaint you withal; that either Oli. Was not Charles, the Duke's wrestler, here you might stay him from his intendment, or brook to speak with me?
such disgrace well as he shall run into; in that it Den. So please you, he is here at the door, and is a thing of his own search, and altogether against importunes access to you. Oli. Call him in.
[E.cit DENNIS. Oli. Charles, I thank thee for thy love to me, —'t will be a good way; and to-morrow the wrest- which thou shalt find I will most kindly requite. ling is.
I had myself notice of my brother's purpose here
in, and have by underhand means labored to disEnter CHARLES.
suade him from it; but he is resolute. I'll tell Cha. Good morrow to your worship.
thee, Charles,- it is the stubbornest young fellow Oli. Good Monsieur Charles ! —what's the new of France; full of ambition, an envious emulator news at the new court?
of every man's good parts, a secret and villainous Cha. There 's no news at the court, sir, but the contriver against me his natural brother: therefore
use thy discretion; I had as lief thou didst break so wouldst thou, if the truth of thy love to me were his neck as his finger. And thou wert best look so righteously tempered as mine is to thee. to't; for if thou dost him any slight disgrace, or Ros. Well, I will forget the condition of my if he do not mightily grace himself on thee, he will estate, to rejoice in yours. practice against thee by poison, entrap thee by Cel. You know my father hath no child but I, some treacherous device, and never leave thee till nor none is like to have; and, truly, when he dies, he hath ta'en thy life by some indirect means or thou shalt be his heir: for what he hath taken other: for, I assure thee, and almost with tears I away from thy father perforce, I will render thee speak it, there is not one so young and so villain- again in affection; by mine honor I will; and when ous this day living. I speak but brotherly of him; I break that oath, let me turn monster : therefore, but should I anatomise him to thee as he is, I
sweet Rose, my dear Rose, be merry. must blush and weep, and thou must look pale and Ros. From henceforth, I will, coz, and devise wonder.
sports : let me see; — what think you of falling in Cha. I am heartily glad I came hither to you. love? If he come to-morrow, I'll give him his payment: Cel. Marry, I pr'y thee do, to make sport withif ever he go alone again, I'll never wrestle for al: but love no man in good earnest; nor no furprize more. And so, God keep your worship! ther in sport neither, than with safety of a pure
[Exit. blush thou mayst in honor come off again. Oli. Farewell, good Charles. — Now will I stir Ros. What shall be our sport, then ? this gamester: I hope I shall see an end of him ; Cel. Let us sit and mock the good housewife, for my soul, yet I know not why, hates nothing Fortune, from her wheel, that her gifts may hencemore than he. Yet he's gentle; never schooled, forth be bestowed equally. and yet learned ; full of noble device; of all sorts Ros. I would we could do so; for her benefits enchantingly beloved ; and, indeed, so much in the are mightily misplaced : and the bountiful blind heart of the world, and especially of my own peo- woman doth most mistake in her gifts to woman. ple, who best know him, that I am altogether mis- Cel. 'Tis true : for those that she makes fair, prised; but it shall not be so long; this wrestler she scarce makes honest; and those that she makes shall clear all : nothing remains, but that I'll kin- honest, she makes very ill-favoredly. dle the boy thither, which now I'll go about. Ros. Nay, now thou goest from fortune's office
[Exit. to nature's : fortune reigns in gifts of the world,
not in the lineaments of nature.
SCENE II. — A Lawn before the DUKE's Palace.
Enter ROSALIND and CELIA.
Cel. No? When nature hath made a fair crea
ture, may she not by fortune fall into the fire ? Cel. I pray thee, Rosalind, sweet my coz, be Though nature hath given us wit to flout at formerry.
tune, hath not fortune sent in this fool to cut off Ros. Dear Celia, I shew more mirth than I am the argument ? mistress of; and would you yet I were merrier ? Ros. Indeed, there is fortune too hard for naUnless you could teach me to forget a banished ture; when fortune makes nature's natural the father, you must not learn me how to remember cutter-off of nature's wit. any extraordinary pleasure.
Cel. Peradventure, this is not fortune's work Cel. Herein I see thou lovest me not with the neither, but nature's; who perceiving our natural full weight that I love thee: if my uncle, thy ban- wits too dull to reason of such goddesses, hath sent ished father, had banished thy uncle, the Duke my this natural for our whetstone: for always the dullfather, so thou hadst been still with me, I could ness of the fool is the whetstone of the wits.—How have taught my love to take thy father for mine : now, wit? whither wander you?
Touch. Mistress, you must come away to your Le Beau. What color, madam? How shall I father.
answer you? Cel. Were you made the messenger?
Ros. As wit and fortune will. Touch. No, by mine honor; but I was bid to Touch. Or as the destinies decree. come for you.
Cel. Well said : that was laid on with a trowel. Ros. Where learned you that oath, fool ?
Touch. Nay, if I keep not my rank, Touch. Of a certain knight, that swore by his Ros. Thou losest thy old smell. honor they were good pancakes, and swore by his Le Beau. You amaze me, ladies : I would have honor the mustard was naught: now, I'll stand told you of good wrestling, which you have lost the to it, the pancakes were naught, and the mustard sight of. was good; and yet was not the knight forsworn. Ros. Yet tell us the manner of the wrestling.
Cel. How prove you that, in the great heap of Le Beau. I will tell you the beginning, and, your knowledge ?
if it please your ladyships, you may see the end; Ros. Ay, marry; now unmuzzle your wisdom. for the best is yet to do; and here, where you are,
Touch. Stand you both forth now: stroke your they are coming to perform it. chins, and swear by your beards that I am a Cel. Well, — the beginning, that is dead and knave.
buried. Cel. By our beards, if we had them, thou art. Le Beau. There comes the old man and his
Touch. By my knavery, if I had it, then I were : three sons, but if you swear by that that is not, you are not Cel. I could match this beginning with an old forsworn : no more was this knight, swearing by tale. his honor, for he never had any; or if he had, he Le Beau. Three proper young men, of excellent had sworn it away before ever he saw those pan- growth and presence; cakes or that mustard.
Ros. With bills on their necks,—“Be it known Cel. Pr'y thee, who is 't that thou mean’st ? unto all men by these presents,”
Touch. One that old Frederick, your father, Le Beau. The eldest of the three wrestled with loves.
Charles, the Duke's wrestler; which Charles in a Cel. My father's love is enough to honor him. moment threw him, and broke three of his ribs, Enough! speak no more of him; you 'll be whip- that there is little hope of life in him : so he served ped for taxation, one of these days.
the second, and so the third. Yonder they lie; Touch. The more pity, that fools may not speak the poor old man, their father, making such pitiwisely what wise men do foolishly.
ful dole over them, that all the beholders take his Cel. By my troth, thou sayest true : for since part with weeping. the little wit that fools have was silenced, the lit- Ros. Alas! tle foolery that wise men have makes a great show. Touch. But what is the sport, monsieur, that IIere comes Monsieur Le Beau.
the ladies have lost?
Le Beau. Why, this that I speak of.
Touch. Thus men may grow wiser every day! Ros. With his mouth full of news.
it is the first time that ever I heard breaking of Cel. Which he will put on us as pigeons feed ribs was sport for ladies.
Cel. Or I, I promise thee. Ros. Then shall we be news-crammed.
Ros. But is there any else longs to see this broCel. All the better; we shall be the more mar- ken music in his sides ? is there yet another dotes ketable. Bon jour, Monsieur Le Beau : what's upon rib-breaking ? — Shall we see this wrestling, the news?
cousin ? Le Beau. Fair princess, you have lost much Le Beau. You must, if you stay here : for here good sport.
is the place appointed for the wrestling, and they Cel. Sport? of what color ?
ready to perform it.
Cel. Yonder, sure, they are coming: let us now no wrong, for I have none to lament me: the world stay and see it.
no injury, for in it I have nothing; only in the
world I fill up a place which may be better supplied Flourish. Enter DUKE FREDERICK, Lords, OR- when I have made it empty. LANDO, CHARLES, and Attendants.
Ros. The little strength that I have, I would it Duke F. Come on; since the youth will not be were with you. entreated, his own peril on his forwardness.
Cel. And mine, to eke out hers. Ros. Is yonder the man ?
Ros. Fare you well. Pray heaven, I be deceived Le Beau. Even he, madam.
in you ! Cel. Alas, he is too young: yet he looks suc
Cel. Your heart's desires be with you. cessfully.
Cha. Come, where is this young gallant that is Duke F. How now, daughter and cousin ? are so desirous to lie with his mother earth? you crept hither to see the wrestling?
Orl. Ready, sir; but his will hath in it a more Ros. Ay, my liege; so please you give us leave. modest working.
Duke F. You will take little delight in it, I can Duke F. You shall try but one fall. tell you, there is such odds in the men.
In pity Cha. No, I warrant your grace; you shall not of the challenger's youth, I would fain dissuade entreat him to a second, that have so mightily perhim, but he will not be entreated. Speak to him, suaded him from a first. ladies; see if you can move him.
Orl. You mean to mock me after; you should Cel. Call him hither, good Monsieur Le beau.
not have mocked me before: but come your ways. Duke F. Do so; I'll not be by.
Ros. Now, Hercules be thy speed, young man !
[DUKE goes apart. Cel. I would I were invisible, to catch the Le Beau. Monsieur the challenger, the prin- strong fellow by the leg. cesses call for you.
[CHARLES and ORLANDO wrestle. Orl. I attend them, with all respect and duty.
Ros. O excellent young
man! Ros. Young man, have you challenged Charles Cel. If I had a thunderbolt in mine
eye, I can the wrestler ?
tell who should down. Orl. No, fair princess; he is the general chal
[CHARLES is thrown. Shout. lenger : I come but in, as others do, to try with Duke F. No more, no more. him the strength of my youth.
Orl. Yes, I beseech your grace; I am not yet Cel. Young gentleman, your spirits are too bold well breathed. for your years. You have seen cruel proof of this Duke F. How dost thou, Charles ? man's strength : if you saw yourself with your Le Beau. He cannot speak, my lord. eyes, or knew yourself with your judgment, the Duke F. Bear him away. fear of your adventure would counsel you to a more
[CHARLES is borne out. equal enterprise. We pray you, for your own sake, What is thy name, young man? to embrace your own safety, and give over this at- Orl. Orlando, my liege; the youngest son of tempt.
Sir Rowland de Bois. Ros. Do, young sir: your reputation shall not
Duke F. I would thou hadst been son to some therefore be misprized: we will make it our suit to
man else. the Duke that the wrestling might not go forward. The world esteemed thy father honorable,
Orl. I beseech you, punish me not with your But I did find him still mine enemy: hard thoughts; wherein I confess me much guilty Thou shouldst have better pleased me with this to deny so fair and excellent ladies anything. But
deed, let your fair eyes and gentle wishes go with me to Hadst thou descended from another house. my trial : wherein if I be foiled, there is but one But fare thee well; thou art a gallant youth : shamed that was never gracious; if killed, but one I would thou hadst told me of another father. dead that is willing to be so. I shall do my friends [Exeunt DUKE FREDERICK, Train, and LE BEAU.