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Kath. Veal, quoth the Dutchman:- is not veal No point, quoth I; my servant straight was a calf ?

mute. Long. A calf, fair lady?

Kath. Lord Longaville said, I came o'er his Kath, No, a fair lord calf.

heart; Long. Let's part the word.

And trow you what he called me?
No, I'll not be your


Prin. Qualm, perhaps. Take all, and wean it; it may prove an ox.

Kath. Yes, in good faith. Long. Look, how you butt yourself in these Prin. Go, sickness as thou art ! sharp mocks!

Ros. Well, better wits have worn plain statuteWill you give horns, chaste lady? - do not so.

caps. Kath. Then die a calf, before your horns do But will you hear? the king is my love sworn. grow.

Prin. And quick Birón hath plighted faith Long. One word in private with you, ere I die.

to me. Kath. Bleat softly then, the butcher hears you Kath. And Longaville was for my service cry. [They converse apart.

born. Boyet. The tongues of mocking wenches are as Mar. Dumain is mine, as sure as bark on tree. keen

Boyet. Madam, and pretty mistresses, give ear; As is the razor's edge invisible,

Immediately they will again be here
Cutting a smaller hair than may be seen;

In their own shapes; for it can never be
Above the sense of sense : so insensible They will digest this harsh indignity.
Seemeth their conference; their conceits have Prin. Will they return ?

Boyet. They will, they will, God knows ! Fleeter than arrows, bullets, wind, thought, swifter And leap for joy, though they are lame with things.

blows; Ros. Not one word more, my maids; break off, Therefore change favors; and, when they repair, break off.

Blow like sweet roses in this summer air. Biron. By heaven, all dry-beaten with pure Prin. How blow ? how blow? speak to be unscoff!

derstood. King. Farewell, mad wenches; you have simple Boyet. Fair ladies masked, are roses in their wits.

bud: [Exeunt KING, LORDS, Moth, Music, and Dismasked, their damask sweet commixture shewn, Attendants.

Are angels vailing clouds, or roses blown. Prin. Twenty adieus, my frozen Muscovites. Prin. Avaunt, perplexity! What shall we do, Are these the breed of wits so wondered at? If they return in their own shapes to woo ? Boyet. Tapers they are, with your sweet breaths Ros. Good madam, if by me you 'll be advised, puffed out.

Let's mock them still, as well known as disguised : Ros. Well-liking wits they have; gross, gross; Let us complain to them what fools were here, fat, fat.

Disguised like Muscovites, in shapeless gear; Prin. O poverty in wit, kingly-poor flout ! And wonder what they were ; and to what end Will they not, think you, hang themselves to- Their shallow shows, and prologue vilely penned, night?

And their rough carriage so ridiculous, Or ever, but in visors, shew their faces ? Should be presented at our tent to us. This pert Birón was out of countenance quite. Boyet. Ladies, withdraw, the gallants are at Ros. 0! they were all in lamentable cases !

hand. The king was weeping-ripe for a good word. Prin. Whip to our tents, as roes run over Prin. Birón did swear himself out of all suit.

land. Mar. Dumain was at my service, and his [Exeunt PRINCESS, ROSALINE, KATHARINE, sword :

and MARIA.


Enter the KING, BIRON, LONGAVILLE, and Du- Prin. Then wish me better; I will give you MAIN, in their proper habits.


King. We came to visit you; and purpose now King. Fair sir, God save you! where is the To lead you to our court; vouchsafe it, then. princess ?

Prin. This field shall hold me; and so hold your Boyet. Gone to her tent: please it your majesty, Command me any service to her thither? Nor God nor I delight in perjured men. King. That she vouchsafe me audience for one King. Rebuke me not for that which you proword.

voke! Boyet. I will; and so will she, I know, my lord. The virtue of your eye must break my oath.

[E.cit. Prin. You nickname virtue : vice, you should Biron. This fellow picks up wit as pigeons

have spoke; peas,

For virtue's office never breaks men's troth. And utters it again when God doth please : Now, by my maiden honor, yet as pure He is wit's pedlar; and retails his wares

As the unsullied lily, I protest, At wakes and wassels, meetings, markets, fairs; A world of torments though I should endure, And we that sell by gross, the Lord doth know, I would not yield to be your house's guest : Have not the grace to grace it with such show. So much I hate a breaking-cause to be This gallant pins the wenches on his sleeve; Of heavenly oaths, vowed with integrity. Had he been Adam, he had tempted Eve.

King. O, you have lived in desolation here, He can carve too, and lisp: why, this is he Unseen, unvisited, much to our shame. That kissed away his hand in courtesy;

Prin. Not so, my lord; it is not so, I swear; This is the ape of form, monsieur the nice,

We have had pastimes here, and pleasant game; That, when he plays at tables, chides the dice A mess of Russians left us but of late. In honorable terms; nay, he can sing

King. How, madam? - Russians ?
A mean most mcanly; and, in ushering,

Prin. Ay, in truth, my lord;
Mend him who can : the ladies call him, sweet; Trim gallants, full of courtship and of state.
The stairs, as he treads on them, kiss his feet: Ros. Madam, speak true.

It is not so, my This is the flower that smiles on every one,

lord : To shew his teeth as white as whales'-bone : My lady (to the manner of the days), And consciences that will not die in debt, In courtesy gives undeserving praise. Pay him the due of honey-tongued Boyet. We four, indeed, confronted were with four King. A blister on his sweet tongue, with my In Russian habit; here they stayed an hour, heart,

And talked apace; and in that hour, my lord, That put Armado's page out of his part ! They did not bless us with one happy word.

I dare not call them fools; but this I think, Re-enter the PRINCESS, ushered by BoYET; Rosa- When they are thirsty, fools would fain have LINE, Maria, KATHARINE, and Attendants.


Biron. This jest is dry to me. Gentle sweet Biron. See where it comes ! - Behavior, what Your wit makes wise things foolish : when we wert thou,

greet Till this man shewed thee ? and what art thou With eyes best seeing heaven's fiery eye,

By light we lose light : your capacity King. All hail, sweet madam, and fair time of Is of that nature, that to your huge store day!

Wise things seem foolish, and rich things but Prin. Fair in all hail, is foul, as I conceive.

poor. King. Construe my speeches better, if you Ros. This proves you wise and rich, for in my may.





ness sad?

Biron. - I am a fool and full of poverty.

Biron. Yet I have a trick Ros. But that you take what doth to you be- Of the old rage: bear with me, I am sick; long,

I'll leave it by degrees. Soft, let us see: It were a fault to snatch words from my tongue. Write, “Lord have mercy on us," on those Biron. O, I am yours, and all that I possess.

three; Ros. All the fool mine?

They are infected, in their hearts it lies; Biron. I cannot give you less.

They have the plague, and caught it of your Ros. Which of the visors was it that


eyes :
Biron. Where; when; what visor ? why de- These lords are visited; you are not free,


For the Lord's tokens on you do I see.
Ros. There; then; that visor: that superfluous Prin. No, they are free that gave these tokens

to us. That hid the worse, and shewed the better face. Biron. Our states are forfeit, seek not to undo King. We are descried; they ’ll mock us now downright.

Ros. It is not so; for how can this be true, Dum. Let us confess, and turn it to a jest. That you stand forfeit, being those that sue? Prin. Amazed, my lord ? Why looks your high- Biron. Peace; for I will not have to do with

you. Ros. Help, hold his brows! he 'll swoon! Why Ros. Nor shall not, if I do as I intend. look you pale ?

Biron. Speak for yourselves; my wit is at an Sea-sick, I think, coming from Muscovy.

end. Biron. Thus pour the stars down plagues for King. Teach us, sweet madam, for our rude perjury.

transgression Can any face of brass hold longer out ?

Some fair excuse. Here stand I, lady; dart thy skill at me;

Prin. The fairest is confession. Bruise me, with scorn, confound me with a Were you not here but even now, disguised ?

King. Madam, I was. Thrust thy sharp wit quite through my igno- Prin. And were you well advised ? rance ;

King. I was, fair madam. Cut me to pieces with thy keen conceit;

Prin. When you then were here, And I will wish thee never more to dance, What did you whisper in your lady's ear? Nor never more in Russian habit wait.

King. That more than all the world I did re0! never will I trust to speeches penned,

Nor to the motion of a schoolboy's tongue; Prin. When he shall challenge this, you will Nor never come in visor to my friend;

Nor woo in rhyme, like a blind harper's song. King. Upon mine honor, no. Taffeta phrases, silken terms precise,

Prin. Peace, peace, forbear; Three-piled hyperboles, spruce affectation, Your oath once broke, you force not to forswear. Figures pedantical; these summer flies

King. Despise me, when I break this oath of Have blown me full of maggot ostentation :

mine. I do forswear them: and I here protest,

Prin. I will; and therefore keep it :- RosaBy this white glove, (how white the hand, God

line, knows!)

What did the Russian whisper in your ear? Henceforth my wooing mind shall be expressed Ros. Madam, he swore that he did hold me In russet yeas, and honest kersey noes :

dear And to begin, wench, - 80 God help me, la!.- As precious eyesight, and did value me My love to thee is sound, sans crack or flaw. Above this world : adding thereto, moreover, Ros. Sans “sans,” I pray you.

That he would wed me, or else die my lover.


spect her.

reject her.

great, sir.

Prin. God give thee joy of him! the noble lord Cost. O Lord, sir, they would know Most honorably doth uphold his word.

Whether the three worthies shall come in or no. King. What mean you, madam ? by my life, my Biron. What, are there but three? troth,

Cost. No sir; but it is vara fine, I never swore this lady such an oath.

For every one pursents three. Ros. By heaven you did; and to confirm it Biron. And three times thrice is nine. plain,

Cost. Not so, sir; under correction, sir; I hope You gave me this : but take it, sir, again.

it is not so: King. My faith, and this, the princess I did You cannot beg us, sir, I can assure you, sir; we give;

know what we know. I knew her by this jewel on her sleeve.

I hope, sir, three times thrice, sir, — Prin. Pardon me, sir, this jewel did she wear;

Biron. - Is not nine. And Lord Birón, I thank him, is my dear :

Cost. Under correction, sir, we know whereuntil What; will you have me, or your pearl again? it doth amount.

Biron. Neither of either; I remit both twain. Biron. By Jove, I always took three threes for I see the trick on 't; — here was a consent

nine. (Knowing aforehand of our merriment),

Cost. O Lord, sir, it were a pity you should get To dash it like a Christmas comedy:

your living by reckoning, sir. Soine carry-tale, some please-man, some slight Biron. How much is it? zany,

Cost. O Lord, sir, the parties themselves, the Some mumble-news, some trencher-knight, some actors, sirs, will shew whereuntil it doth amount: Dick,

for my own part, I am, as they say, but to parfect That smiles his cheek in years ; and knows the one man, — e'en one poor man; Pompion the

trick To make my lady laugh when she's disposed, - Biron. Art thou one of the worthies? Told our intents before : which once disclosed, Cost. It pleased them to think me worthy of The ladies did change favors; and then we, Pompion the great: for mine own part, I know Following the signs, wooed but the sign of she. not the degree of the worthy; but I am to stand Now, to our perjury to add more terror,

for him. We are again forsworn; in will, and error.

Biron. Go, bid them prepare.
Much upon this it is :— and might not you Cost. We will turn it finely off, sir; we will take

[Το ΒογET.
some care.

[Excit COSTARD. Forestall our sport, to make us thus untrue ? King. Birón, they will shame us, let them not Do not you know my lady's foot by the squire,

approach. And laugh upon the apple of her eye?

Biron. We are shame-proof, my lord : and 't is And stand between her back, sir, and the fire,

some policy Holding a trencher, jesting merrily?

To have one show worse than the king's and his You put our page out: go, you are allowed;

company. Die when you will, a smock shall be your shroud. King. I say they shall not come. You leer upon me, do you? there 's an eye, Prin. Nay, my good lord, let me o'er rule you Wounds like a leaden sword !

now: Boyet. Full merrily

That sport best pleases that doth least know how. Hath this brave manage, this career, been run. Where zeal strives to content, and the contents Biron. Lo, he is tilting straight! Peace; I have Die in the zeal of them which it presents, done.

Their form confounded makes most form in mirth;

When great things laboring perish in their birth. Enter COSTARD.

Biron. A right description of our sport, my Welcome, pure wit! thou partest a fair fray.



Biron. Well said, old mocker; I must needs be

friends with thee. Arm. Anointed, I implore so much expense of

thy royal sweet breath, as will utter a brace of
words. [ARMADO converses with the King, and I Pompey am, Pompey surnamed the big;
delivers him a paper.

Dum. The great.
Prin. Doth this man serve God?
Biron. Why ask you ?

Cost. It is great, sir;
Prin. He speaks not like a man of God's mak-

Pompey surnamed the great: ing.

That oft in field, with targe and shield, did make my foo Arm. That's all one, my fair, my sweet, honey

to sweat: monarch: for I protest the schoolmaster is exceed. And traveling along this coast, I here am come by

chance, ingly fantastical; too, too vain; too, too vain.

And laid my arms before the legs of this sweet lass of But we will put it, as they say, to fortuna della

France. guerra. I wish you the peace of mind, most royal couplement !

[Exit ARMADO. If your ladyship would say, “Thanks, Pompey,” King. Here is like to be a good presence of

I have done. worthies. He presents Hector of Troy; the swain,

Prin. Great thanks, great Pompey ! Pompey the great; the parish curate, Alexander;

Cost. T is not so much rorth : but I hope I Armado's page, Hercules; the pedant, Judas was perfect: I made a little fault in "great.' Maccabæus.

Biron. My hat to a halfpenny, Pompey proves And if these four worthies in their first show the best worthy. thrive,

Enter NATHANIEL, armed, for Alexander. These four will change habits, and present the other five.

NATHANIEL. Biron. There is five in the first show.

When in the world I lived, I was the world's commander; King. You are deceived, 't is not so.

By east, west, north, and south, I spread my conquering Biron. The pedant, the braggart, the hedge

might; priest, the fool, and the boy :

My 'scutcheon plain declares that I am Alisander. A bare throw at novum; and the whole world again

Boyet. Your nose says no, you are not; for it

stands too right. Cannot prick out five such, take each one in his vein.

Biron. Your nose smells no, in this, most tenKing. The ship is under sail, and here she

der-smelling knight.

Prin. The conqueror is dismayed: proceed, comes amain. [Seats brought for the KING, PRINCESS, &c.

good Alexander.

Pageant of the Nine Worthies.

When in the world I lived, I was the world's com-
Enter COSTARD, armed, for Pompey.

mander; COSTARD.

Boyet. Most true, 't is right; you were so, Ali

sander. I Pompey am,

Biron. Pompey the great, Boyet. You lie, you are not he.

Cost. Your servant, and Costárd.

Biron. Take away the conqueror, take away COSTARD.

Alisander. I Pompey am,

Cost. O, sir [to NATHANIEL), you have overBoyet. With libbard's head on knee. thrown Alisander the conqueror! You will be

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