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find out my aunt, and tell her, she must not come home.
[Exit. For. I am so perplexed and vexed, I am not fit to receive him; I shall scarce recover myself before the hour be past. Go, nurse; tell Sir Sampson, I'm ready to wait on him. Nurse. Yes, sir.
Exit. For. Well-why, if I was born to be a cuckold, there's no more to be said 1—He is here already.
Enter Sir SAMPSON LEGEND with a paper. Sir S. Nor no more to be done, old boy; that is plain—here it is, I have it in my hand, old Ptolemy; I'll make the ungracious prodigal know who begat him ; I will, old Nostrodamus. What, I warrant, my son thought nothing belonged to a father, but forgiveness and affection ; no authority, no correcrion, no arbitrary power-nothing to be done, but for him to offend, and me to pardonI warrant you, if he danced till doomsday, he thought I was to pay the piper. Well, but here it is under black and white, signatum, sigillatum, and deliberatum-that, as soon as my son Benjamin is arrived, he is to make over to him his right of inheritance. Where's my daughter that is to be ha! old Merlin ? Body of me, I'm so glad I'm revenged on this undutiful rogue!
For. Odso, let me see; let me see the paper.—Ay, faith and troth, here it is, if it will but hold, I wish things were done, and the conveyance made.-When was this signed? what hour? Odso, you should have consulted me for the time. Well, but we'll make haste.
Sir S. Haste! ay, ay, haste enough; my son Ben will be in town to-night- I have ordered my lawyer to draw up writings of settlement and jointure-all shall be done to-night.---No matter for the time ; pr’ythee, brother Foresight, leave superstition.-Pox o'th' time; there's no time but the time present; there's no more to be said of what's past; and all that is to come will happen. If the sun shine by day, and the stars by night—why, we shall know one another's faces without the help of a candle ; and that's all the stars are good for.
For. How, how, Sir Sampson? that all? Give me leave to contradict you, and tell you, you are ignorant.
Sir S. I tell you, I am wise: and sapiens dominabitur astris; there's Latin for you to prove it, and an argument to confound your Ephemeris.--Ignorant !--I tell
you, I have travelled, old Fercu: and know the globe. I have seen the antipodes, where the sun rises at mid-night, and sets at noon-day.
For. But I tell you, I have travelled, and travelled in the celestial spheres; know the signs and the planets, and their houses; can judge of motions direct and retrograde, of sextiles, quadrates, trines and oppositions, fiery trigons, and acquatical trigons; kno whether life shall be long or short, happy or unhappy; whether diseases are curable or incurable; if journies shall be prosperous, undertakings success. ful, or goods stolen recovered: I know
Sir S. I know the length of the emperor of China's foot; have kissed the Great Mogul's slipper, and rid a hunting upon an elephant with the cham of Tar. tary.---Body o’me, I have made a cuckold of a king; and the present majesty of Bantam is the issue of these loins. | For. I know when travellers lie or speak truth, when they don't know it themselves.
Sir S. I have known an astrologer made a cuckold in the twinkling of a star; and seen a conjuror, that could not keep the devil out of his wife's circle.
For. What, does he twit me with my wife too? I must be betterinformed of this. [ Aside. ]—Do you mean my wife, Sir Sampson ? Though you made a cuckold of the king of Bantam, yet by the body of the sun
Sir S. By the horns of the moon, you would say, brother Capricorn.
For. Capricorn in your teeth, thou modern Mandeville; Ferdinand Mendez Pinto was but a type of thee, thou liar of the first magnitude. Take back your paper of inheritance; send your son to sea again. I'll wed my daughter to an Egyptian mummy, ere she shall incorporate with a contemner of sciences, and a defamer of virtue.
Sir S. Body o’me, I have gone too far-I must not provoke honest Albumazar.–An Egyptian mummy is an illustrious creature, my trusty hieroglyphick; and may have significations of futurity about him. Odsbud, I would my son were an Egyptian mummy for thy sake. What, thou art not angry for a jest, my good Haly?-I reverence the sun, moon, and stars, with all my heart.-What! I'll make thee a present of a mummy. Now I think on't, body o’me, I have a shoulder of an Egyptian king, that I purloined from one of the pyramids, powdered with hieroglyphicks; thou shalt have it brought home to thy house and make an entertainment for all the Philomaths, and students in physic and astrology, in and about London.
For. But what do you know of my wife, Sir Sampson?
Sir S. Thy wife is a constellation of virtues; she is the moon, and thou art the man in the moon; nay, she is more illustrious than the moon; for she has her chastity, without her incontinency: 'sbud, I was but in jest.
Enter Jeremy Sir S. How now? who sent for you, ha? what would you have?
For. Nay, if you were but in jest!-Who's that fellow? I don't like his physiognomy.
Sir S. [To Jeremy.] My son, sir? what son, sir? my son Benjamin, ha?
Jer. No, sir; Mr. Valentine, my master;-it is tlie first time he has been abroad since his confinement, and he comes to pay his duty to you. Sir S. Well, sir.
Enter VALENTINE. Jer. He is here, sir.
Val. Your blessing, sir!
Sir S. You've had it already, sir; I think I sent it you to-day in a bill of four thousand pounds.-A great deal of money, brother Foresight!
For. Ay, indeed, Sir Sampson, a great deal of money for a young man; I wonder what he can do with it!
Sir S. Body o'me, so do I. -Hark ye, Valentine, if there be too much, refund the superfluity; dost hear boy?
Val. Superfluity, sir! it will scarce pay my debts. -I hope you will have more indulgence, than to oblige me to those hard conditions which my necessity signed to.
Sir S. Sir! how, I beseech yoii, what were you pleased to intimate, concerning indulgence ?
Val. Why, sir, that you would not go to the extreinity of the conditions, but release me at least from some part.
Sir S. 0, sir, I understand you-that's all, ha ?
Val. Yes, sir, all that I presume to ask-But what you, out of fatherly fondness, will be pleased to add, will be doubly welcome.
Sir S. No doubt of it, sweet sir; but your filial piety and my fatherly fondness would fit like two tallies- Here's a rogue, brother Foresight, makes a bargain under hand and seal in the morning, and would be released from it in the afternoon? here's a rogue, dog; here's conscience and honesty! This is your wit now, this is the morality of your wit! You