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shall have a most amphibious breed—the progeny will be all otters : he has been bred at sea, and she has never been out of the country.
Val. Pox take them! their conjunction bodes me no good, I'm sure.
Mrs. F. Now you talk of conjunction, my brother Foresight has cast both their nativities, and prognosticates an admiral and an eminent justice of the peace to be the issue male of their two bodies. 'Tis the most superstitious old fool! He would have persuaded me, that this was an unlucky day, and would not let me come abroad : but I invented a dream, and sent him to Artemidorus for interpretation, and so stole out to see you. Well, and what will you give me now? Come, I must have something.
Val. Step into the next room—and I'll give you something.
Scand. Ay, we'll all give you something.
Mrs. F. I thought you would give me something that would be a trouble to you to keep.
Val. And Scandal shall give you a good name.
Mrs. F. That's more than he has for himself. And what will you give me, Mr. Tattle ?
Tatt. I? My soul, madam.
Mrs. F. Pooh, no, I thank you, I have enough to do to take care of my own. Well; but I'll come and see you one of these mornings : I hear, you have a great many pictures,
Tatt. I have a pretty good collection, at your ser. vice; some originals.
Scand. Hang him, he has nothing but the Seasons and the Twelve Cæsars, paltry copies; and the Five Senses, as ill represented as they are in himself; and he himself is the only original you will see there.
Mrs. F. Ay, but I hear he has a closet of beauties.
Scand. Yes, all that have done him favours, if you will believe him. Mrs. F. Ay, let me see those, Mr. Tattle.
Tatt. Oh, madam, those are sacred to love and contemplation. No man but the painter and myself was ever blest with the sight.
Mrs. F. Well, but a woman
Tatt. Nor woman, till she consented to havę her picture there toom for then she is obliged to keep the secret.
Scand. No, no ? come to me if you'd see pictures. Mrs. F. You ?
Scand. Yes, faith, I can shew you your own picture, and most of your acquaintance, to the life, and as like as at Kneller's.
Mrs. F. O lying creature !-Valentine, does not he lie 1-I can't believe a word he says.
Val. No, indeed he speaks truth now : for, as Tattle has pictures of all that have granted him favours, he has the pictures of all that have refused him-if satires, descriptions, characters, and lampoons, are pictures.
Scand. Yes, mine are most in black and white--and yet there are some set out in their true colours, both men and women. I can shew you pride, 'folly, affectation, wantonness, inconstancy, covetousness, dissimulation, malice, and ignorance, all in one piece. Then I can shew you lying, foppery, vanity, cowardice, bragging, “ lechery, impotence," and ugliness, in another piece ; and yet one of these is a celebrated beauty, and tother a professed beau. I have paintings too, some pleasant enough.
Mrs. F. Come, let's hear them.
Scand. Why, I have a beau in bagnio, cupping for a complexion, and sweating for a shape.
Mrs. F. So!
Scand. Then I have a lady burning brandy in a cellar with a hackney-coachman.
Mrs. F. O devil! Well, but that story is not true.
Scand. I have some hieroglyphicks too. I have a lawyer, with a hundred hands, too heads, and but one face; a divine, with two faces,' and one head; and I have a soldier, with his brains in his belly, and his heart where his head should be.
Mrs. F. And no head :
you a poet?
Scand. Yes, I have a poét, weighing words, and selling praise for praise ; and a critic picking his pocket. “ I have another farge piece too, repre. “ senting a school ; where there are huge-propor" tioned critics, with long wigs, laced coats, Steinkirk
“ cravats, and terrible faces; with catcalls in their " hands, and horn-books about their necks." I have many more of this kind, very well painted, as you shall see.
Mrs. F. Well, I'll come, if it be but to disprove you.
Enter JEREMY Jer. Sir, here's the steward again from your father.
Val. I'll come to him.-Will you give me leave ? I'll wait on you again presently.
Mrs. F. No, I'll be gone. Come, who squires me to the Exchange? I must call on my sister Foresight there.
Scand. I will : I have a mind to your sister.
Tatt. I will; because I have a tendre for your ladyship.
Mrs. F. That's somewhat the better reason, to my opinion.
Scand. Well, if Tattle entertains you, I have the better opportunity to engage your sister.
Val. Tell Angelica, I am about making hard conditions, to come abroad, and be at liberty to see her.
Scand. I'll give an account of you and your proceedings. If indiscretion be a sign of love, you are the most a lover of any body that I know. You fancy that parting with your estate will help you to your mistress-In my mind, he is a thoughtless adventurer,
Who hopes to purchase wealth by selling land;
ACT II. SCENE I.
A Room in Foresight's House.
Foresight. HeY-DAY! What are all the women of my family abroad? Is not my wife come home? nor my sister? nor my daughter!
Serv. No, sir.
For. Mercy on us! what can be the meaning of it? Sure the moon is in all her fortitudes! Is my niece Angelica at home?
Sero. Yes, sir.
For. I say, you lie, sir. It is impossible that any thing should be as I would have it ; for I was born, sir, when the crab was ascending; and all my affairs go backward.
Serv. I can't tell indeed, sir.
For. No, I know you can't sir. But I can tell, and foretell, sir.