Is made a countess.

She's now in travail

Of a young heir for you.

Face. Good, sir.

Sub. Off with your case,

And greet her kindly, as a bridegroom should,
After these common hazards.

Face. Very well, sir.

Will you go fetch don Diego off the while?

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Sub. And fetch him over, too, if you'll be pleas'd, sir. Would Dol were in her place to pick his pockets now. Face. Why, you can do it as well, if you would set

to't.

I pray you prove your virtue.

Sub. For your sake, sir.

[Exeunt.

SCENE III.

The Alchymist's Room. Enter SURLY and DAME PLIANT.

Sur. Lady, you see into what hands you are fall'n! 'Mongst what a nest of villains! and how near Your honour was to've catch'd a certain ruin (Through your credulity) "had I but been "So punctually forward, as place, time,

"And other circumstances would ha' made a man: "For yo'are a handsome woman, would you were wise too."

1

I am a gentleman come here disguis'd,

Only to find the knaveries of this citadel,

And where I might ha'wrong'd your honour,and ha'not, I claim some interest in your love. You are,

They say, a widow, rich; and I am a batchelor, 620 Worth nought: your fortunes may make me a man, As mine ha' preserv'd you a woman. Think upon it, And whether I have deserv'd you, or no.

Pli. I will, sir.

Sur. And for these houshold-rogues, let me alone To treat with them.

Enter SUBTLE.

Sub. How doth my noble Diego?

And my dear madam countess? Hath the count
Been courteous, lady? liberal, and open?
Donsel, methinks you look melancholic
After your coicum, and scurvy! Truly,
I do not like the dullness of your eye,
It hath a heavy cast; 'tis Upsee-Dutch,
And says you are a lumpish whore-master.
Be lighter; I will make your pockets so.

[He falls to picking of them. Sur. Will you, don bawd, and pick-purse? How now? Reel you?

Stand up, sir; you shall find, since I am so heavy,
I'll give you equal weight.

Sub. Help, murder?

Sur. No, sir, there's no such thing intended. A

good cart,

And a clean whip, shall ease you of that fear.

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I am the Spanish don, that should be cozen'd,
Do you see? Cozen'd! Where's your captain Face?

Face. How, Surly!

Enter FACE.

Sur. Oh, make your approach, good captain. I have found from whence your copper rings and spoons Come now, wherewith you cheat abroad in taverns. ́ And this doctor,

"Your sooty, smoaky-bearded compeer, he"

Will close you so much gold in a bolt's head,

[Face steals off. And, on a turn, convey (i' the stead) another With sublim'd mercury, that shall burst i' the heat, And fly out all in fumo? What is he gone?

Nay, sir, you must tarry,

Tho' he be 'scap'd, and answer by the ears, sir.

Enter FACE and KASTRIL.

Face. Why, now's the time, if ever you will quarrel Well, as they say, and be a true-born child.

The doctor and your sister both are abus'd.

Kas. Where is he? Which is he? He is a slave,

Whate'er he is, and the son of a whore.

The man, sir, I would know ?

Sur. I should be loth, sir,

Are you

560

To confess so much.

Kas. Then you lie i'

your

throat.

Sur. How!

Face. A very arrant rogue, sir, and a cheater,

Employ'd here by another conjurer,

That does not love the doctor, and would cross him,

If he knew how

Sur. Sir, you are abus'd.

Kas. You lie :

And 'tis no matter.

Face. Well said, sir. He is

The impudent'st rascal

Sur. You are, indeed! Will you hear me, sir?
Face. By no means-Bid him begone.

Kas. Begone, sir, quickly.

Sur.This's strange! lady, do you inform your brother. Face. There is not such a foist in all the town: The doctor had him presently; and finds yet,

580

The Spanish count will come here. Bear up, Subtle.
Sub. Yes, sir, he must appear within this hour.
Face. And yet this rogue will come in a disguise,
By the temptation of another spirit,

To trouble our art, tho' he could not hurt it.
Kas. Ay,

I know-Away; you talk like a foolish mouther.
Sur. Sir, all is truth, she says.
Face. Do not believe him, sir.

He is the lying'st swabber! Come your ways, sir.
Sur. You are valiant out of company.

Kas. Yes. How then, sir?

Enter DRUGGER.

Face. Nay, here's an honest fellow too, that knows him, And all his tricks-Make good what I say, Abel:

This cheater would ha' cozen'd thee o'the widow.

[To Abe.

He owes this honest Drugger, here, seven pounds,
He has had on him in two-penn'orths of tobacco.
Drug. Yes, sir; and he has damn'd himself three
Terms to pay me.

Face. And what does he owe for lotium?
Drug. Thirty shillings, sir.

And for six syringes.

Sur. Hydra of villany!

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Face. Nay, sir, you must quarrel him out o' the house. Kas. I will, Sir, if you get not out o' doors, you lie ; And you are a pimp.

Sur. Why, this is madness, sir,

Not valour in you. I must laugh at this.

Kas. It is my humour. You are a pimp, and a trig, And an Amadis de Gaul, or a Don Quixote. Drug. Or aknight o'the curious coxcomb,do you see?

Enter ANANIAS.

Ana. Peace to the houshold.

Kas. I'll keep peace for no man.

Ana. Casting of dollars is concluded lawful.

Kas. Is he the constable ?

Sub. Peace, Ananias.

Face. No, sir.

Kas. Then, you are an otter, and a shad, a whit,

A very Tim.

Sur. You'll hear me, sir?

Kas. I will not.

620