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To Germany, and highnesses serene,
But peace to her—her emperor and diet.
Borne on the breath of hyperborean gales, From Hamburg's port (while Hamburg yet had mailt), Ere yet unlucky Fame—compell'd to creep To snowy Gottenburg—was chlll'd to sleep j Or, starting from her slumbers, deign'd arise, Heligoland! to stock thy mart with lies; While unburnt Moscow1 yet had news to send, Nor owed her fiery exit to a friend. She came—Waltz came—and with her certain sets Of true despatches, and as true gazettes: Then flamed of Austcrlitz the blest despatch, Which Moniteur nor Morning Post can match; And—almost crush'd beneath the glorious news— Ten plays, and forty tales of Kotzebue's; One envoy's letters, six composers' airs, And loads from Frankfort and from Lcipsic fairs; Melner's four volumes upon womankind, Like Lapland witches to insure a wind; Brunck's heaviest tome for ballast, and, to back it, Of Heyne, such as should not sink the packet
Fraught with this cargo—and her fairest freight, Delightful Waltz, on tiptoe for a mate, The welcome vessel reach'd the genial strand, And round her flock'd the daughters of the land. Not decent David, when, before the ark, His grand pas-seul excited some remark; Not love-lorn Quixote, when his Sancho thought The knight's fandango friskier than it ought: Not soft Herodias, when, with winning tread, Her nimble feet danced off another's head; Not Cleopatra on her galley's deck, Display'd so much of lea, or more of neck. Than thou, ambrosial Waltz, when first the moon Beheld thee twirling to a Saxon tune I
To you, ye husbands of ten years! whose brows Ache with the annual tributes of a spouse;
1 The patriotic arson of our Amiable allies cannot be sufficiently commended—nor subscribed for. Amongst other details omitted in the various despatches of our eloquent ambassador, he did not state (being too much occupied with the
exploits of Colonel C , in swimmiug rivers frozen, and
galloping over roads impassable,) that one entire province
Itcrisned by famine in the most melancholy manner, as [blows: — In General Rostopchin's consummate conflagration, the consumption of tallow and train oil was so great, that the market was inadequate to the demand: and thus one hundred and thirty-three thousand persons were starved to death, by being reduced to wholesome diet! The lamplighters of London have since subscribed a pint (of oil) a piece, and the tallow-chandlers have unanimously voted a quantity of best moulds (four to tho pound), to the relief of the surviving Scythians ; — the scarcity will soon, by such exertions, and a proper attention to the quality rather than the quantity of provision, be totally alleviated. It is said, in return, that the untouched Ukraine has subscribed sixty thousand beeves for a day's meal to our suffering manufacturers. 3 Dancing girls—who do for hire what Waltz doth gratis. * It cannot be complained now, as in the Lady Baussiere's time, of the " Sieur de la Croix," that there be " no whiskers;"
To you of nine yean less, who only bear
Endearing Waltz !—to thy more melting tune
Observant travellers of every time!
Shades of those belles whose reign began of yore.
but how far these are indications of valour in the field, or elsewhere, may still be questionable. Much may be. and hath been, avouched ou both sides. In the olden time philosophers had whiskers, and soldiers none— Sctpio himtotf was shaven — Hannibal thought bis one eye handsome enousjts without a beard; but Adrian, the emperor, won? a beard (having warts on his chin, which neither the Empress Santo* nor even the courtiers could abide) — Turenne had whiskers, Marlborough none—Buonaparte is unwhiskered, tbe Kcrrac whiskered; M argal" greatness of mind and whUkers may or may not go together: but certainly the different occurrence*, since the growth of the last mentioned, go further in behalf oof whiskers than the anathema of Ansclm did against Long hair in the reign of Henry I Formerly, red was a favourite colour. See Lodowick Barrey's comedy of Kain Alley, 1GS1: Act I. Scene 1.
"Tqffeta. Now for a wager—What coloured beard comas next by the window? "Adriana. A black man's, I think. "TaMta. I think not so: I think a red, for that is most
There is " nothing new under the sun ;" but red, thess a favourite, has now subsided into a favourite's colour.
No damsel faints when rather closely press'd.
Seductive Waltz! —though on thy native shore
Blest was the time Waltz chose for her tWbut;
With vests or ribands—deck'd alike In hue,
So salth the muse: my <, what say you?
Such was the time when Waltz might best maintain
1 An anachronism — Waltz and the battle of Austcrlitz are before said to have opened the ball together: the bard means < if he means .anv thing), Waltz was not so much in vogue till the Regent attained the acme of his popularity. Waltz, the comet, whiskers, and the new government, illuminated heaven arid earTh, in all their glory, much about the same time: of these the comet only has disappeared ; the other three continue to astonish us still— Printer's Devil.
■ Amongst others a new ninepence —a creditable coin now forthcoming, worth a pound. In paper, at the fairest calculation.
■ " Oh that right should thus overcome might!" Who does not remember the " delicate investigation " In the " Merry Wives of Windsor ?"—
M Ford. Pray you, come near: If I suspect without cause, why then make sport at me: then let me be your jest; I dMerve it. How now ? whither bear you this?
"* Mrs. Ford. What have you to do whither they bear it?
— you were best meddle with buck-washing."
* The gentle, or ferocious, reader may fill up the blank A3 he pleases — there are several dissyllabic names at his service (being already in the Regent's): It would not be fair to back any peculiar Initial against the alphabet, as every month will add to the list now entered for the sweepstakes:
— a distinguished consonant Is said to be the favourite, much against the wishes of the knowing ones.
* "We have changed all that," says the Mock Doctor —
Some potentate — or royal or serene —
With Kent's gay grace, or sapient Gloster's mien.
Leads forth the ready dame, whose rising flush
Might once have been mistaken for a blush.
From where the garb just leaves the bosom free,
That spot where hearts * were once supposed to be;
Round all the confines of the yielded waist,
The strangest hand may wander undisplaced;
The lady's In return may grasp as much
As princely paunches offer to her touch.
Pleased round the chalky floor how well they trip,
One hand reposing on the royal hip;
The other to the shoulder no less royal
Ascending with affection truly loyal!
Thus front to front the partners move or stand,
The foot may rest, but none withdraw the hand;
And all in turn may follow In their rank,
The Earl of— Asterisk — and Lady — Blank;
Sir—Such-a-one — with those of fashion's host.
For whose blest surnames — vide " Morning Post"
(Or if fur that impartial print too late,
Search Doctors'Commons six months from my date)— ,
Thus all and each, in movement swift or slow,
The genial contact gently undergo;
Till some might marvel, with the modest Turk,
If " nothing follows all this palming work ?"8
True, honest Mlrza!—you may trust my rhyme—
Something does follow at a fitter time;
The breast thus publicly resign'd to man,
In private may resist him If it can.
O ye who loved our grandmothers of yore, Fitzpatrick, Sheridan 7, and many more 1 And thou, my prince! whose sovereign taste and will
It is to love the lovely beldames still 1
Thou ghost of Quccnsbcrry! whose judging sprite
Satan may spare to peep a single night.
Pronounce — if ever in your days of bliss
Asmodeus struck so bright a stroke as this?
To teach the young Ideas how to rise.
Flush in the cheek, and languish in the eyes:
Rush to the heart, and lighten through the frame,
With half-told wish and ill-dissembled flame:
For prurient nature still will storm the breast —
Who, tempted thus, can answer for the rest?
'tis all gone—Asmodeus knows where. After all. it is of no great importance how women's hearts arc disposed of; they have nature's privilege to distribute them as absurdly as possible. But there are also some men with hearts so thoroughly bad, as to remind us of those phenomena often mentioned In natural history; viz. a mass of solid stone—only to be opened by force—and when divided, you discover a toad in the centre, lively, and with the reputation of being venomous.
■ In Turkey a pertinent, here an impertinent and superfluous, question—literally put, as In the text, by a Persian to Morier, on seeing a waltz In Pera—Vide Moricr's Travels.
7 [ I once heard Sheridan repeat, in a ball-room, some verses, which he had lately written on waltzing; and of which I remember the following —
"With tranquil step, and timid, downcast glance,
For so the law 's laid down by Baron Trip." This gentleman, whose name suits so aptly as a legal authority on the subject of waltzing, was, at the time these verses were written, well known in the dancing circles—Moorc]
But yc — who never felt a single thought
Hot from the hands promiscuously applied,
If such thou lovest — love her then no more.
Voluptuous Waltz! and dare I thus blaspheme?
"The Emperor Xepoi was acknowledged by the Senate, by the Italians, and by the Provincials of Gaul • his Irtues, and military talents, were loudly celebrated; and those who derived any private benefit from hfs inv^r - 1 in prophetic strains the restoration of public felicity. V * M'
By this shameful abdication, ho protracted his life a few years, in a very ambiguous state, between an Emtwn Exile, till ." — Giuuon'j Dcciiac and Fait, vol. vi. p. 220. a 011 nmpero
*T is done — but yesterday a King!
And arm'd with Kings to strive —
So abject — yet alive!
And can he thus survive ? *
Ill-minded man ! why scourge thy kind
Who bow'd so low the knee?
Thou taught'st the rest to see.
To those that worshipp'd thee;
'[The reader has seen that Lord Byron, when publishing "The Corsair," in January 1814, announced an apparently
Juite serious resolution to withdraw, fur some vcars at least, rom poetry. His letters of the February and March following abound in repetitions of the same determination. On the morning of the ninth of April, he writes,—" No more rhyme for—or rather from—me. I have taken my leave of that stage, and henceforth will mountebank it no longer." In the evening, a Gazette Extraordinary announced the abdication of Fontalnebleau, and the Poet violated hfs vows next morning, by composing this Ode, which he immediately published, though without his name. His Diary says, " April 10. Today I have boxed one hour — written an ode lo Napoleon Buonaparte — copied it — eaten six biscuits — drunk four bottles of soda water, and reddc away the rest of my time."]
2 [" Produce the urn that Hannibal contains.
And weigh the mighty dust w hich yet
And Is This All :" I know not that this was ever done in the old w orld ; at least, with regard to Hannibal: but, in the statistical account of Scotland, I find that Sir John Paterson had the curiosity to collect, and weigh, the ashes of a person discovered a few years since In the parish of Eccles ; which he was happily enabled to do with great facility, as "the inside of the cofhn
Nor till thy fall could mortals , Ambition's less than littleness I
Thanks for that lesson —i it will teach
To after-warriors more,
And vainly prcach'd before.
That led them to adore
The triumph, and the vanity,
The rapture of the strife * —
To thee the breath of life;
was smooth, and the whole body visible." Wonderful to i late, he found the whole did not exceed in weight < and a half '. And Is This All! Alas ! the i is a satirical exaggeration—Giftord.}
3 [" I send you an additional motto from Gibbon, which vou will find singularly appropriate."—Lord JJyrom to Mr. 'Murray, April 12. 1314.]
4 ['* I don't know—but I think 7, even I (an insert cotspared with this creature), have set my life on casts not a millionth part of this man s. But. after all, a crown may not be worth dying for. Yet, to outlive Ludi for thif!!! Oh that Juvenal or Johnson could rise from the dead !' Expend*-— quot libras in duce summo inrcnies?' I knew they vert light in the balance of mortality; but I thought their living dust weighed more carats. Alas! this imperial diamond hath a flaw in it, and is now hardly fit to stick in a glazier's pencil; —the pen of the historian won't rate ft worth a ducat. Paha! * something too much of this.' But I won't give him up ercaa now; though all his admirers have, like the Thanes, Lallrn from hlra."—Byron Diary, April 9-]
* "Certaroinls gaudia"— the expression of Attila Is hi« harangue to his army, previous to the battle of given in Cassiodorus.
The sword, the sceptre, and that sway
Wherewith renown was rife—
The Desolator desolate!
The Victor overthrown!
A Suppliant fur his own!
Or dread of death alone?
He who of old would rend the oak I,
Drcam'd not of the rebound:
Alone — how look'd he round?
And darker fate hast found:
The Roman when his burning heart
Threw down the dagger — dared depart,
He dared depart in utter scorn
Of men that such a yoke had borne,
His only glory was that hour
Of self-upheld abandun'd power.
The Spaniard, when the lust of sway
Had lost its quickening spell, a
An empire for a cell;
His dotage trifled well: 4
But thou — from thy reluctant hand
1 [M Out of town six days. On my return, find ray poor 'ittl* pagod. Napoleon, pushed olf his pedestal. It is his out fault. Like Milo, he would rend the oak; but it closed , wedged his hands, and now the beasts—Hon, bear, to the dirtiest Jackall—may all tear him. That Muscovite winter wtdgtd his arras:—ever since, he has fought with bis feet and teeth. The last may still leave their marks; and * 1 guess now ' (as the Yankees say), that he will yet play them a pass."— Byron Diary, April 8.]
1 Sylla [We find the germ of this stansa In the Diary of
the evening before it was written:—" Methinks Sylla did Setter; for he revenged, and resigned in the height of his sway, red with the slaughter of his foes—the finest instance of gloriou* contempt of tho rascals upon record. Dtoclestan did well too—Amurath not amiss, had he become aught except a dervise—Charles the Fifth but so so: but Napoleon worst of all."—Byron Diary, April 9.]
9 [" Alter 1 potent spell ' to ' quickening spell:' the first (as Polooius says) * is a vile phrase,' and means nothing, besides being common-place and Kosa-Matildaisb. After the resolution of not publishing, though our Ode is a thing of little length and less consequence, it will be better altogether that it is anonymous."—Lord Byron to Mr. Murray, April 11.]
Too late thou leav'st the high coin
All Evil Spirit as thou- art.
It is enough to grieve the heart
To think that God's fair world hath been
The footstool of a thing so i
And Earth hath spilt her blood for him,
Who thus can hoard his own:
And thank'd him for a throne!
In humblest guise have shown.
Thine evil deeds are writ in gore,
Nor written thus in vain —
Or deepen every stain:
To shame the world again —
Weiffh'd In the balance, hero dust
Is vile as vulgar clay;
To all that pass away:
To dazzle and dismay:
And she, proud Austria's mournful flower,
Thy still imperial bride;
Still clings she to thy side?
Thou throneless Homicide?
Ferdinand, and the kingdom of Spain to his son Philip, and retired to a monastery In Estremadura, where he conformed, in his manner of living, to all the rigour of monastic austerity. Not satisfied with this, he dressed himself In his shroud, was laid in his coffin with much solemnity, joined in the prayers which were offered up for the rest of his soul, and mingled his tears with those which his attendants shed, as if they had been celebrating a real funeral.]
s P' 1 looked Into Lord Kafmes's ' Sketches of the History or Man,' and mentioned to Dr. Johnson his censure of Charles the Fifth for celebrating his funeral obsequies in his life-time, which, 1 told him, I had been used to think a solemn and affecting act. Johnson. 'Why, Sir, a man may dispose his mind to think so of that act of Charles; but it is so liable to ridicule, that if one man out of ten thousand laughs at it, he 'II make the other nine thousand nine hundred and ninety-nine laugh too.'"—BotwclCt Joknton, vol. vli. p. 78. ed. 1835.] s [" But who would rise in brightest day
To set without one parting ray?"—MS.] 7 [It is well known that Count Nelpperg, a gentleman in the suite of tho Emperor of Austria, who was first presented to Maria Louisa within a few days after Napoleon s abdication, became, in the sequel, her chamberlain, and then her to have been a man of remarkably plain
He is said appearance. The Count died in 1831.]
Then haste thee to thy sullen Isle,
f And gaze upon the sea;
It ne'er was ruled by thee I
That Earth is now as free!
Thou Timour! in his captive's cage 3
While brooding in thy prison'd rage?
Unless, like he of Babylon,
All sense is with thy sceptre gone,
That spirit pour'd so widely forth —
So long obey'd—so little worth I
Or, like the thief of fire from heaven, s
Wilt thou withstand the shock?
His vulture and his rock!
The very Fiend's arch mock;h
1 [Dtonyslus the Younger, esteemed a greater tyrant than his lather, on being for the second time banished from Syracuse, retired to Corinth, where he was obliged to turn schoolmaster for a subsistence.]
3 The cage of Bajazet, by order of Tamerlane.
* [In first draught—
"He suffered for kind acts to men.
At least of kingly stock j
* - —" The very fiend's arch mock —
To lip a wanton, and suppose her chaste."
[We believe there Is no doubt of the truth of the anecdote "here alluded to—of Napoleon's having found leisure for an j unworthy amour, the very evening of his arrival at Fon, talnebteau.J
8 [The three last stanzas, which Lord Byron had been solicited by Mr. Murray to write, in order to avoid the stamp
I duty then imposed upon publications not exceeding a sheet,
1 were not published with the rest of the poem. "1 don't like them at all," says Lord Byron, " and they had better be left
| out. The fact is, 1 can't do anything I am asked to do, however gladly I would; and at the end of a week my interest in
l a composition goes off."]
* [In one of Lord Byron's MS. Diaries, begun at Ravenna In May, 1821, we find the following:—"What shall I write? —another Journal? 1 think not. Any thing that comes uppermost, and call it
"My Dictionary. "Augustus. — I have often been puzzled with his character. Was he a great man? Assuredly. But not one of my Great men. I have always looked upon Sylla as the greatest cha
racter In history, when it was —
laying down his power at the moment Too great to keep or to resign,'
There was a day—there was an hour,p
While earth was Gaulls — Gaul thine -
Unsated to resign
And gilded thy decline,
But thou forsooth must be a king,
And don the purple vest,
Remembrance from thy 1
The star—the string—the crest?
Where may the wearied eye repose,
When gazing on the Great;"
Nor despicable state?
Whom envy dared not hate.
and thus despising them all. As to the retention of hi* power by Augustus, the thing was already settled, if be had given it up — the commonwealth was gone— the republic was lone past alt resuscitation. Had Brutus and Cassius gained the battle of Phillppi, it would not have restored the republic. Its days ended with the Gracchi; the rest was a mere struggle oi parties. You might as well cure a consumption, or restore A broken egg, as revive a state so long a prey to every uppermost soldier, as Kome had long been. As for a despotism, tf Augustus could have been sure that all his successors would have been like himself—(I mean not as Octavius, but Augustus) or Napoleon could have insured the world that m%r*e of .his successors would have been like himself—the aooent or modern world might have gone on, like the empire ot Ctajna, in a state of lethargic prosperity. Suppose, for instance, that, instead of Tiberius and Caligula, Augustas bad been immediately succeeded by Nerra, Trajan, the Antuuine*. or even by Titus and his father—what a difference in our estimate of himself!— So far from gaining by the contrast, I think that one half of our dislike arises from his having been beired by Tiberius — and one half of Julius Carsar'i fame, from his having had his empire consolidated by Augustas. — Suppose that there had been no Octavhu, and Tiberius had ■ jumped the life' between, and at once succeeded Julias '* — And yet it is difficult to say whether hereditary right or popular choice produce the worser sovereigns. The Rose an Consuls make a goodly show ; but then they only reigned for a year, and were under a sort of personal obligation to distinguish themselves. It is still more difficult to say *hicb. form of government Is the worst — all are so bad. As foe A»mocrncy, ft is the worst of the whole; for what is, to tad. democracy ?—an aristocracy of blackguards."]
* [On being reminded by a friend of his recent promt** act to write any more for years — "There was," replied Lord Byron, " a mental reservation in my pact with the public, a behalf of anonymcs; and, even had there not, the provocssOeai was such as to make it physically Impossible to pass over tsvu epoch of triumphant taraeness. 'Tis a sad busmess . mmd after all, I shall think higher of rhyme and reason, and eery humbly of your heroic people, till — Etba becama a ro£nBak.>, and icndt him out again. 1 can't think it it mU over yrt. j