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SCENE V. Changes to the palace. Enter Valentine, and Viola in man's attire. Val. If the Duke continue these favours towards you, Cesario, you are like to be much advanc’d; he hath known you but three days, and already you are no ftranger.
vio. You either fear his humour, or my negligence, that you call in question the continuance of his love. Is be inconstant, Sir, in his favours ? Vai. No, believe me.
Enter Duke, Curio, and attendants,
Here comes the Duke.
Duke. Stand you a while aloof. -Cefario,
Vio. Sure, my Noble Lord,
Duke. Be clamorous, and leap all civil bounds,
l'io. Say, I do speak with her, my Lord; what then?
Duke. O, then, unfold the passion of my love;
Vio. I think not fo, my Lord.
Duke. Dear lad, believe it :
I know thy constellation is right apt
Enter Maria and Clown.
Clo. Let her hang me; he that is well hang'd in this world, needs fear no colours.
Mar. Make that good.
Ivar. A good lenten answer. I can tell thee where that saying was born, of I fear no colours.
Clo. Where, good Mistress Mary?
Mar. In the wars; and that may you be bold to say in your foolery.
Clo. Well, God give them wisdom that have it; and those that are fools, let them use their talents.
Mar. Yet you will be hang'd for being so long absent, or be turn'd away; is not that as good as a hanging to you
Mar. You are resolute, then?
Mar. That if one break, the other will hold, or if both break, your gaskins fall.
Clo. Apt, in good faith ; very apt : well, go thy way; if Sir Toby would leave drinking, thou wert as witty a piece of Eve's flesh as any in Illyria.
Mar. Peace, you rogue, no more o' that. Here comes my Lady; make your excafe wisely, you were beit.
[Exit. SCENE. VII. Enter Olivia, and Malvolio.
Clo. Wit, and 't be thy will, put me into a good fooling ! Those wits that think they have thee, do
very oft prove fools; and I that am sure I lack thee, may pass for a wise man. For what says Quinapalus? Better be a witty fool than a foolish wit. God bless thee, Lady!
oli. Take the fool away. Clo. Do you not hear, fellows ? take away the Lady.
Oli. Go to, y’are a dry fool; I'll no more of you; besides, you grow dishoneft.
Clo. Two faults, Madona, that drink and good counsel will amend; for give the dry fool drink, then is the fool not dry. Bid the dishoneft man mend himself; if he mend, he is no longer dishoneft; if he cannot, let the botcher mend him. Any thing that's mended, is but patch'd; virtue that transgresses, is but patch'd with fin; and sin that amends, is but patch'd with virtue. If that this simple fyllogism will serve, fo; if it will not, what remedy? as there is no true cuckold but calamity, so beauty's a flower : the Lady bade take away the fool; therefore I say again, take her away.
Oli, Sir, I bade them take away you.
Clo. Misprifion in the highest degree.- Lady, Cucullus non facit monachum ; that's as much as to say, I wear not motley in my brain. Good Madona, give me leave to prove you a fool,
Oli. Can you do it?
Clo: I must catechise you for it, Madona ; good my mouse of virtue, answer me,
Oli. Well, Sir, for want of other idleness, I'll bide your proof.
Clo. Good Madona, why mourn'st thou ?
Clo. The more fool you, Madona, to mourn for your brother's soul being in heav'n. Take away the fool, Gentlemen.
Oli. What think you of this fool, Malvolio? doth he not mend?
Mal. Yes, and shall do, till the pangs of death fhake him. Infirmity, that decays the wise, doth ever make better the fool.
Cl.. God send you, Sir, a speedy infirmity, for the better increasing your folly! Sir Toby will be sworn that I am no fox; but he will not pass his word for two pence
you are no fool. Oli. How say you to that, Malvolio?
Mal. I marvel your Ladyship takes delight in such a barren rascal. I saw him put down the other day with an ordinary fool, that has no more brain than a stone, Look you now, he's out of his guard already ; unless you laugh and minister occasion to him, he is gagg'd. I protest, I take these wife men that crow so at these set kind of fools, no better than the fools' Zanies.
Oli. O, you are sick of self-love, Malvolio, and tafte with a distemper'd appetite. To be generous, guiltless, and of free disposition, is to take those things for bird-bolts that you deem cannon-bullets : there is no slander in an allow'd fool, though he do nothing but rail ; nor
no railing in a known discreet man, though he do nothing but reprove.
Clo. Now, Mercury endue thee with pleasing, for thou speak’st well of fools!
Enter Maria. Mar. Madam, there is at the gate a young gentle. man much desires to speak with you.
Oli. From the Count Orsino, is it?
Mar. I know not, Madam; 'tis a fair young man, and well attended.
Oli. Who of my people hold him in delay ?
Oli, Fetch him off, I pray you ; he speaks nothing but madman: fie on him! Go you, Malvolio; if it be a fuit from the Count, I am sick, or not at home : what you will, to dismiss it. [Exit Malvolio.] Now,
you see, Sir, how your fooling grows old, and people diflike it.
Clo. Thou haft spoke for us, Madona, as if thy eldest son should be a fool : whose scull Jove cram with brains, for here comes one of thy kin has a most weak pia mater! S CE N E
VIII. Enter Sir Toby. Oli. By mine honour, half drunk. What is he at the gate, uncle ?
Sir To. A gentleman.
Sir To. 'Tis a gentleman-heir, -A plague o' these pickle herring ! how now, sot?
Clo. Good Sir Toby,
Oli. Uncle, uncle, how have you come so early by this lethargy?
Sir To. Letchery! I defy letchery. There's one at
Oli. Ay, marry, what is he?
Sir To. Let him be the devil an he will, I care not : give me faith, say 1. Well, it's all one. [Exit.
Oli, What's a drunken man like, fool ?
Glo. Like a drown'd man, a fool, and a madman : one draught above heat makes him a fool, the second mads him, and a third drowns him.
Oli. Go thou and seek the coroner, and let him fit o' my uncle; for he's in the third degree of drink; he's drown'd: go, look after him.
Clo. He is but mad-yet, Madona, and the fool shall look to the madnan.
[Exit Clown. Enter Malvolio. Mal. Madam, yond young fellow swears he will speak with you. I told him you were fick; he takes on him to understand so much, and therefore comes to speak with you. I told him you were asleep; he feems to have a foreknowledge of that too, and therefore comes to speak with you. What is to be said to him, Lady? he's fortified against any denial.
oli. Tell him he shall not speak with me.