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Sir To. Thy reason, dear venom, give thy reason.
Sir And. Marry, I saw your niece do more favours to the Duke's serving-man, than ever she bestow'd on me, I saw 't i' th' orchard.
Sir To. Did she see thee the while, old boy ? tell me that.
Sir And, As plain as I see you now.
Sir And... 'Slight! will you make an ass o’me ?
Fab. I will prove it legitimate, Sir, upon the oaths of judgment and reason.
Sir To. And they have been grand-jurymen since be-, fore Noah was a sailor.
Fab. She did shew favour to the youth in your sight, only to exasperate you, to awake your dormouse valour, to put fire in your heart, and brimstone in your liver. You should then have accosted her with some excellent jests fire-new from the mint; you should have bang’d the youth into dumbness. This was look'd for at your hand, and this was baulk'd. The double gilt of this opportunity you let time wash off, “ and you are
now fail'd into the north of my Lady's opinion;. “ where you will hang like an icicle on a Dutchman's “ beard,” unless
you do redeem it by foine laudable attempt, either of valour or policy.
Sir And. An't be any way, it must be with valour;, for policy I hate :. I had as lief be a Brownist, as a politician.
Sir To. Why then, build me thy fortunes upon the basis of valour; challenge me the Duke's youth to fight with him; hurt him in eleven places; my niece Tall take note of it; and assure thyself, there is no love-broker in the world can more prevail in man's commendation with woman than report of valour.
Fab. There is no way but this, Sir Andrew.
Sir And. Will either of you bear me a challenge to him ?
Sir To Go, write in a martial hand ; be curft and brief: it is no matter how witty, so it be eloquent, and full of invention, taunt him with the licence of inki VOL. III.
if thou thou's him some thrice, it shall not be amiss
S; and as many lyes as will lie' in thy sheet of paper, although the Meet were big enough for the bed of Ware in England; set 'em down, go about it. Let there be gall enough in thy ink, tho thou write with a goofepen, no matter : about it.
Sir And. Where shall I find you?
[Exit Sir Andrew. S CE N E V.: Fab. This is a dear manikin to you, Sir Toby.
Sir To. I have been dear to him, lad, some two thousand strong or so. Fab. We shall have a rare letter from him ; but
'11 not deliver 't.
Sir To. Never trust me then; and by all means stir on the youth to an answer. I think, oxen and wainropes cannot hale them together. For Andrew, if he were open’d, and you find so much blood in his liver as will clog the foot of a flea, I'll eat the rest of th’anatomy.
Fab. And his opposite, the youth, bears in his visage no great presage of cruelty.
Enter Maria. Sir To. Look, where the youngest wren * of nine
Mar. If you desire the spleen, and will laugh yourselves into ftitches, follow me: yond gull Malvolio is turned Heathen, a very renegado; for there is no Christian, that means to be fav'd by believing rightly, can ever believe such imposible passages of grossness. He's in yellow stockings.
Sir Tó. And cross-garter'd ?
Mar. Most villanously; like a pedant that keeps & school i' tho church: I have dogg'd him, like his murtherer. He does obey every point of the letter that I
* The wren is remakable for laying many eggs at a time, nine or ten, and sometimes more: and as she is the smallest of birds, the last of fo large a brood may be fupposed to be little indeed, which as the image intended here to be given of Maria.
dropt to betray him; he does smile his face into more
SCENE VI. Changes to the street.
Enter Sebastian, and Anthonio.
Seb. My kind Anthonio,
Ant. Would you'd pardon me:
* Relics, for curiofities,
I did some service, of such note, indeed,
Seb. Belike you slew grcat number of his people.
Ant. Th’offence is not of such a bloody nature,
Ant. It doth not fit me. Hold, Sir, here's my purse,
have me. Seb. Why I your purse ?
Ant. Haply your eye shall light upon fome toy
Seb. I'll be your purse-bearer, and leave you for
Ant. To th’ Elephant,
SCENE VII. Changes to Olivia's house.
Enter Olivia, and Maria.
fortunes. Where is Malvolio? Mar. He's coming, Madam; but in very strange
Oli. Why, what's the matter, does he rave?
Ladyship were best to have some guard about you, if he
Mal. Sweet Lady, ha, ha. [Smiles fantastically.
Oli. Smil'st thou? I sent for thee upun a sad occafion.
Mal. Sad, Lady? I could be fad; this does make fome obstruction in the blood; this cross-gartering; but what of it? if it please the eye of one, it is with me as the very true sonnet is: Please one, and please all.
Oli. Why? how doft thou, man? what is the matter with thee?
Mal. Not black in my mind, tho' yellow in my legs : it did come to his hands, and commands shall be executed. I think we do know that sweet Roman hand.
Oli. Wilt thou go to bed, Malvolio?
Mal. To bed? ay, sweet heart; and I'll come to thee.
Oli. God comfort thee! why dost thou smile so, and kiss thy hand so oft ?
Mar. How do you, Malvolio?
Mal. At your request?
Mar. Why appear you with this ridiculous boldness before my Lady?
Mal, Be not afraid of greatness.—'Twas well writ.
themOli. Heav'n restore thee !
Mal. Remember, who commended tliy yellow stock ings.
Oli. Thy yellow stockings?