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And still should be so, but the tide is turn'd;
'Tis with our hero quietly inurn'd; Because the army's grown more popular,
At which the naval people are concern'd: Besides, the Prince is all for the land-service, Forgetting Duncan, Nelson, Howe, and Jervis.
And since, exceeding valorous and sage,
But then they shone not on the poet's page,
But can't find any in the present age
VI. Most epic poets plunge in “medias res," (Horace
makes this the heroic turnpike-road) And then your hero tells, whene'er you please,
What went before—by way of episode, While seated, after dinner, at his ease,
Beside his mistress in some soft abode, Palace, or garden, paradise, or cavern, Which serves the happy couple for a tavern.
My way is to begin with the beginning;
Forbids all wandering as the worst of sinning, And therefore I shall open with a line
(Although it cost me half an hour in spinning) Narrating somewhat of Don Juan's father,
also of his mother, if you'd rather.
Famous for oranges and women-he
So says the proverb—and I quite agree;
Cadiz perhaps—but that you soon may see ;
A true Hidalgo, free from every stain
Through the most Gothic gentlemen of Spain :
Or, being mounted, e'er got down again,
His mother was a learned lady-famed
For every branch of every science known ID
every Christian language ever named,
With virtues equall’d by her wit alone,
And even the good with inward envy groan,
All Calderon, and greater part of Lope,
She could have served him for the prompter's copy; For her Feinagle's were an useless art,
And he himself obliged to shut up shop-he
Her noblest virtue was her magnanimity,
Her serious sayings darken'd to sublimity;
A prodigy-her morning dress was dimity,
And Greek the alphabet~ I'm nearly sure;
Although her mode of speaking was not pure;
At least her conversation was obscure;
And said there was analogy between 'em;
But I must leave the proofs to those who've seen 'em : But this I heard her say, and can't be wrong,
And all may think which way their judgments lead 'em, “ 'Tis strange--the Hebrew noun which means ' I am,' “ The English always use to govern d-n.”
Miss Edgeworth's novels stepping from their covers, Or Mrs. Trimmer's books on education,
Or“ Cælebs' Wife” set out in quest of lovers, Morality's prim personification,
In which not envy's self a flaw discovers, To others' share let “ female errors fall,” For she had not even one-the worst of all,
Of any modern female saint's comparison;
Her guardian angel had given up his garrison ; Even her minutest motions went as well
As those of the best time-piece made by Harrisou : In virtues nothing earthly could surpass her, Save thine" incomparable oil,” Macassar! 
XVIII. Perfect she was, but as perfection is
Insipid in this naughty world of ours, Where our first parents never learn'd to kiss,
Till they were exiled from their earlier bowers, Where all was peace and innocence, and bliss,
(I wonder how they got through the twelve hours) Don Jose, like a lineal son of Eve, Went plucking various fruits without her leave.
He was a mortal of the careless kind,
With no great love for learning or the learn'd, Who chose to go where'er he had a mind,
And never dream'd his lady was concern'd; The world, as usual, wickedly inclined
To see a kingdom or a house o'erturn’d, Whisper'd he had a mistress, some say two, But for domestic quarrels one will do.
A great opinion of her own good qualities :
And such, indeed, she was in her moralities;
And sometimes mix'd up fancies with realities,
Oft in the wrong, and never on his guard : And even the wisest, do the best they can,
Have moments, hours, and days, so unprepared, That you might “ brain them with their lady's fan;"
And sometimes ladies bit exceeding hard, And fans turn into falchions in fair hands, And why and wherefore no one understands.
With persons of no sort of education,
Grow tired of scientific conversation ;
I'm' a plain man, and in a single station,
Not any of the many could divine,
'Twas surely no concern of their's nor mine ; I loathe that low vice, curiosity,
But if there's any thing in which I shine 'Tis in arranging all my friends' affairs, Not having, of my own, domestic cares.