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And sage,

The evening now grew dark and still ;

The whip-poor-will
Sung pensively on every tree;

When next you see the black-eyed Caty,
And strait I fell into a reverie

The loving languid girl of Hayti,"
Upon that man of gallantry and pith,

Whose finger so expertly plays
Captain Smith.

Amid the ribbon's silken maze,
And very strange it seemd to me,

Just like Aurora, when she ties
That, after having kiss'd so grand a

A rainbow round the morning skies!
Dame as Lady Trabigzanda,
By any chance he

Say, that I hope, when winter's o'er,
Could take a fancy

On Norfolk's bank again to rove,
To a nymph, with such a copper front as

And then shall search the ribbon store

For some of Caty's softest love.
And now, as through the gloom so dark,

I should not like the gloss were past,
The fire-flies seatter'd many a fiery spark,

Yet want it not entirely new;
To one, that glittered on the quaker's bonnet,

But bright and strong enough to last
I wrote a sonnet.*

About--suppose a week or two.

However frail, however light,

'T will do, at least to wear at night :
two lines more had just completed it;

And so you 'll tell our black-eyed Caly-
But, at the moment I repeated it,

The loving, languid girl of Hayti!
Our stage
Which good Brissot, with brains so critical

• Errare malo cum Platone, quam cum aliis recte sentire..--Cicero. Calleth the true a machine political » 3

I would rather think wrongly with Plato, than rightly with any one else. With all its load of uncles, scholars, nieces, Together jumbled,

1802. Tumbled

FANNY, my love, we ne'er were sages,
Into a rut and fell to pieces!

But, trust me, all that Tully's zeal
Express'd for Plato's glowing pages,

All that, and more, for thee I feel !
Good night!-my bed must be,
By this time, warm enough for me,

Whate'er the heartless world decree,
Because I find old Ephraim Steady

Howe'er un feeling prudes condemn, And Miss bis niece are there already!

Fanny! I'd rather sin with thee,

Than live and die a saint with them!
Some cavillers
Object to sleep with fellow-travellers ;

Saints protect the pretty quaker,
Heaven forbid that I should wake her!

I ne'er on that lip for a minute have gazed,

But a thousand temptations beset me, Jobo Smith, a famous traveller, and by far the most enterprising of And I've thought, as the dear little rubies you raised, the first settlers in Virginia. How mueb he was indebted to the inte

How delicious 't would be-if you 'd let me! resting young Pocabantas, daughter of King Powhatan, may be seen in all the bistories of this colony. In the Dedication of his own work to Then be not so angry for what I have done, the Duxbess of Richmond he thas evomerates his bonnes fortunes : • Yet my comfort is, that heretofore hovourable and vertuous Ladies,

Nor say that you've sworn to forget me; and comparable but among themselves, have offered me rescue and they were buds of temptation too pouting to shun, protection in my greatest dangers. Even in ferraine parts I have felt And I thought that--you could not but let me! reliefe from that ses. The beauteous Lady Trabigranda, when I was a clare to the Turks, did all she could to secure me. When I overcame When your lip with a whisper came close to my cheek, the Bashaw of Nalbrits in Tartaria, the charitable Lady Callamata supplyed my necessities. In the utmost of my extremities, that blessed And, plain as the eye of a Venus could speak,

Oh think how bewitching it met me! Pokabuntas, ibe great King's daughter of Virginia, oft saved my life.

Your eye seem'd to say-you would let me! Davis, in his whimsical Travels through America, has manufactured into a kind of romance the loves of Mr Rolle with this e opaci maxima Then forgive the transgression, and bid me remain, mandi,. Pocabuntas.

For, in truth, if I go, you 'll regret me; * For the Sonnet, see page 94.

Or, oh!-let me try the transgression again, 1. The American stages are the true political carriage..-Beissor's And I 'll do all you wish- will you let me! Travels letter 6th. --There is nothing more amusing than the philosopbiral singeries of these French travellers. Is one of the letters of Among the West-Indian French at Norfolk, three are some very Claviere, prehred to those of Brissot, upon their plan for establishing a interesting Saint Domingo girls, who, in the day, rell millinery, etc.. republic of philosophers in some part of the western world, be intreals and at night assemble ia little cotillon parties, where ibey damee away Brissot to be particular in choosing a place « where there are no mus- the remembrance of their unfortunate country, and forget the miseries quitoes :• forsooth, ne quid respublea detrimenti caperet!

shareho les amis des noirs, have brought upon them.

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• Μαζους χερσιν εχω, στοματι στομα, δε περι δειρην

To see that eye, so cold, so still,
Ασχετα λυσσαν βοσκομαι αιγυρεων:

Which once, oh God! could melt in bliss-
Ουπα δ' αφρογενειαν όλην ελον· αλλ' ετι καμνων No, no, I cannot bear the cbill!
Παρθενον αμφιεπον λεκρον αναινομενην. .

Hate, burning hate were Heaven to this!
Ημισυ γαρ Παφιη, το δ' αρ' ήμισυ δακες Αθηνη:
Αυταρ εγω μεσσος τηκομαι αμφοτεραν. .

" These lines allude to a curious lamp, which bas for its device a CoPAULUS, with the words at night, written over bim.

Jntercepted Letters; or, The Twopenny Post Bag.

E lapeæ manibus cecidère tabelle.--OVID.



but in a newspaper) to publish something or other in the shape of a book; and it occurred to me that, the

present being such a letter-writing era, a few of these To ST-ƏN W--LR---E, Esq. TWO-penny post epistles, turned into easy verse, would MY DEAR W---E,

be as light and popular a task as I could possibly It is now about seven years since I promised (and I select for a commencement. I did not think it grieve to think it is almost as long since we met) to dent, however, to give too many Letters at first, and, dedicate to you the very first book, of whatever size or accordingly, have been obliged (in order to eke out a kind, I should publish.' Who could have thought that sufficient number of pages) to reprint some of those so many years would clapse without my giving the rifles, which had already appeared in the public least signs of life npon the subject of this important journals. As, in the battles of ancient times, the

shades of the departed were sometimes seen among promise? Who could have imagined that a volume of doggerel, after all, would be the first offering that the combatants, so I thought I might remedy the thinGratitude would lay upon the shrine of Friendship?

ness of my ranks, by conjuring up a few dead and If, however, you are as interested about me and my

forgotten ephemerons to fill them.

Such are the motives and accidents that led to the pursuits as formerly, you will be happy to hear that doggerel is not my only occupation; but that I am present publication; and as this is the first time my preparing to throw my name to the Swans of the muse has ever ventured out of the go-cart of a newsTemple of Immortality, leaving it, of course, to the paper, though I feel all a parent's delight at seeing said Swans to determine whether they ever will take

little Miss go alone, I am also not without a parent's the trouble of picking it from the stream.

anxiety, lest an unlucky fall should be the consequence In the mean time, my dear W—-, like a pious living instances there are of Muses that have suffered

of the experiment; and I need not point out the many Lutheran, you must judge of me rather by my faith severely in their heads, from taking too early and rashly than my works, and, however trifling the tribute which to their feet. Besides, a book is so very different a thing I offer, never doubt the fidelity with which I am, and from a newspaper!—in the former, your doggerel, always shall be, Your sincere and attached friend,

without either company or shelter, must stand shivering THE AUTHOR.

in the middle of a bleak white page by itself; whereas in 245, Piccadilly, March 4, 1813.

the latter, it is comfortably backed by advertisements,

and has sometimes even a Speech of Mr St-ph-n's, PREFACE.

or something equally warm, for a chauffe-pié, --so that, in general, the very reverse of « laudatur et alget» is its

destiny. The Pag, from which the following Letters are se

Ambition, however, must run some risks, and I shall lected, was dropped. by a Twopenny Postman about be very well satisfied if the reception of these few Lettwo months since, and picked up by an emissary of ters should have the effect of sending me to the Postthe Society for the S-pp--ss-n of V-e, who, sup

Dag for more. posing it might materially assist the private researches of that institution, immediately took it to his em- PREFACE TO THE FOURTEENTH EDITION. ployers and was rewarded handsomely for bis trouble. Such a treasury of secrets was worth a whole host of informers; and, accordingly, like the Cupids of the poet (if I may use so profane a simile) who « fell at

In the absence of Mr Brown, who is at present on a odds about the sweet-bag of a bee,» ? those venerable tour through ---- I feel myself called upon, as his suppressors almost fought with each other for the friend, to notice certain misconceptions and misreprehonour and delight of tirst ransacking the Post-Bag. sentations, to which this little volume of Trifles has Unluckily, however, it turned out, upon examination, given rise. that the discoveries of profligacy, which it enabled In the first place, it is not true that Mr Brown has had them to make, lay chiefly in those upper regions of any accomplices in the work. A note, indeed, which has society, which their well-bred regulations forbid them hitherto accompanied his Preface, may very naturally to molest or meddle with. In consequence, they gained have been the origin of such a supposition; but that but very few victims by their prize, and, after lying for note, which was merely the coquetry of an author, 1 a week or two under Mr 11-cu-v's counter, the bave, in the present edition, taken upon myself to reBag, with its violated contents, was sold for a trifle to move, and Mr Brown must therefore be considered a friend of mine.

(like the mother of that unique production, the Centaur, It happened that I had been just then seized with an pova rus porov)' as alone responsible for the whole ambition (having never tried the strength of my wing contents of the volume. * Ariosto, canto 35.

Piadur, Pyth. 1. – My friend certainly cannot add out' sv ava Herrick.

spazoi gepakopopov.





In the next place it has been said, that in consequence of this graceless little book, a certain distinguished Per- INTERCEPTED LETTERS, sonage prevailed upon another distinguished Personage to withdraw from the author that notice and kindness, with which he had so long and so liberally honoured him. There is not one syllable of truth in this story. For the magnanimity of the former of these persons I

LETTER I. would, indeed, in no case answer too rashly; but of the conduct of the latter towards my friend, I have a proud gratification in declaring, that it has never ceased to be such as he must remember with indelible gratitude;- My dear Lady Bab, you 'll be shock'd, I'm afraid, a gratitude the more cheerfully and warmly paid, from when you hear the sad rumpus your ponies have made; its not being a debt incurred solely on his own account, Since the time of horse-consuls (uow long out of date) but for kindness shared with those nearest and dearest No ways ever made such a stir in the State! to him.

To the charge of being an Irishman, poor Mr Brown Lord Eld—n first heard—and as instantly pray'd be pleads guilty; and I believe it must also be acknowledged To God and his King—that a Popish young lady that he comes of a Roman Catholic family: an avowal For though you've bright eyes, and twelve thousand a which, I am aware, is decisive of his utter reprobation in Vear, the eyes

of those exclusive patentees of Christianity, so It is still but too true you 're a l'apist, my dear) worthy to have been the followers of a certain enlight- Vad insidiously sent, by a tall Irish groom, ened Bishop, Donatus,' who held « that God is in Africa, | Two priest-ridden ponies, just landed from Rome, and not elsewhere.» But from all this it does not ne- And so full, little rogues, of pontifical tricks, cessarily follow that Mr Brown is a Papist; and, indeed, that the dome of St. Paul's was scarce safe from their I have the strongest reasons for suspecting that they kicks! who say so are totally mistaken. Not that I presume to have ascertained his opinions upon such subjects; all I

Off at once to papa, in a flurry, he fliesknow of his orthodoxy is, that he has a Protestavi wife For papa always does what these statesmen advise, and two or three little Protestant childreu, and that he On condition that they'll be, in turn, so polite has been seen at church every Sunday, for whole

As in no case whate'er to advise him too right

year together, listening to the sermons of his truly reverend « Pretty doings are here, sir (he angrily cries, and amiable friend, Dr. -, and behaving there as

While by dint of dark eyebrows he strives to look wise), well and as orderly as most people.

'Tis a scheme of the Romanists, so help me God! There are a few more mistakes and falsehoods about To ride over your most Royal Highness rough-shodMr Brown, to which I had intended, with all becoming Excuse, sir, my tears, they're from loyalty's sourcegravity, to advert; but I begin to think the task is allo- Bad enough 't was for Troy to be sackd by a Horse, gether as useless as it is tiresome. Calumnies and mis- But for us to be ruin'd by Ponies, still worse!» representations of this sort are, like the arguments and statements of Dr Duigenan, not at all the less vivacious Quick a council is calld—the whole cabinet sits

The Archbishops declare, frightend out of their wils, or less serviceable to their fabricators for having been

That if vile Popislı ponies should eat at my manger, refuted and disproved a thousand times over : they are

From that awful moment the Church is in danger! brought forward again, as good as new, whenever malice

As, give them but stabling, and shortly no stalls or stupidity is in want of them, and are as useful as the

Will suit their proud stomachs but those of St. Paul's. old broken lantern, in Fielding's Amelia, which the watchman always keeps ready by him, to produce, in The Doctor, and he, the devout man of Leather, proof of riot, against his victims. I shall therefore give V-os-11-1, now laying their saint-heads together, up the fruitless toil of vindication, and would even draw Declare that these skittish young a-bominations my pen over what I have already written, had I not

Are clearly foretold in chap. vi. Revelationspromised 10 furnish the Publisher with a Preface, and Nay, they verily think they could point out the one know not how else I could contrive to eke it out.

Which the Doctor's friend Death was to capter upon! I have added two or three more trifles to this edition, which I found in the Morning Chronicle, and knew to Lord H-rr-by, hoping that no one imputes be from the pen of my friend. The rest of the vo- To the Court any fancy to persecute brutes, lume remains 3 in its original state,

Protests, on the word of himself and his cronics, April 20, 1814.

That had these said creatures been Asses, not Popies,

The court would have started no sort of objection, 'Bishop of Case Nigrx, in the fourth century.

As Asses were, there, always sure of protection. ? The Triples here alluded to, and others, which have since appeared, will be found in this edition - Publisher.

« If the Pr-uc-ss will keep them (says Lord C-sil-r-gh), 3 A new reading has been suggested in the original of the Ode of 11.- To make them quite harmless the only true way race, freely translated by lord Elu--". To the line - Sise per Syrieis Is (as certain Chief Justices do with their wives) iter estuosas,. it is proposed, by a very trilling alteration, to read To tlog them within half an inch of their lives• Surtees, instead of « Syrieis, o bich brings the Ode, it is said, more home to the noble Translator, and gives a peculiar foree and apness tu the apribet arstuosas, I merels throw out this emendation for the "This young Lady, klo is a Roman Catholic, has lately made prelearned, being unable myself to decide upon its merits.

sent of some beautiful poners to the P'r-ne-$$.

And hence, too, eloquently show forth On checks and balances, and so forth.

If they've any bad Irish blood lurking about,
This (he knew by experience) would soon draw it out.»
Or-if this be thought eruel- his Lordship proposes
«The new leto-snaffle to bind down their noses-
A pretty contrivance, made out of old chains,
Which appears to indulge, while it doubly restrains ;
Which, however high-mettled, their gamesomeness

checks (Adds his Lordship humanely), or else breaks their

necks!» This proposal received pretty general applause From the statesmen around and the neck-breaking

Had a vigour about it, which soon reconciled
Even Eld-n himself to a measure so mild.
So the snafiles, my dear, were agreed to nem..con.,
And my Lord C-st-r-gh, having so often shone
In the fettering line, is to buckle them on.
I shall drive to your door in these Vetos some day,
But, at present, adieu!-I must burry away
To go see my mamma, as I'm suffered to meet her
For just half an hour by the Qu-n's best repeater.


But now, he trusts, we are coming near a
Better and more royal era;
When England's monarch need but say,
« Whip me those scoundrels, C-st-s-gh!,
Or-« hang me up those Papists, Eld---n,»
And 't will be done-ay, faith, and well done.
With view to which, I've his command
To beg, sir, from your travell'd hand
(Round which the foreign graces swarm)
A plan of radical reform;
Compiled and chosen, as best you can,
In Turkey or at Ispahan,
And quite upturning, branch and root,
Lords, Commons, and Burdett to boot!

But, pray, whate'er you may impart, write
Somewhat more brief than Major C-rtwr-ght;
Else, though the P---e be long in rigging,
"T would take, at least, a fortnight's wigging,
Two wigs to every paragraph-
Before he well could get through half.



You'll send it, also, speedily-
As, truth to say, 'twixt you and me,
His Highness, heated by your work,
Already thinks himself Grand Turk!
And you'd have laugh d, had you seen how
He scared the Ch-nc-11-r just now,
When (on his Lordship's entering puffd) he
Slapp'd his back and call'd him « Mufti!»
The tailors, too, have got commands
To put directly into hands
All sorts of dulimans and pouches,
With sashes, turbans, and pabouches
(While Y-rm-th's sketching out a plan
Of new moustaches à l'Ottomane),
And all things fitting and expedient
To Turkify our gracious R-8-nt!
You therefore have no time to waste-
So send your system.-

Your's, in haste.

Dear Sir, I've just had time to look
Into your very learned book,'
Wherein-as plain as man can speak,
Whose English is half modern Greek-
You prove that we can ne'er intrench
Our happy isles against the French,
Till Royally in England's made
A much more independent trade-
In short, until the House of Guelph
Lays Lords and Commons on the shelf,
And boldly sets up for itself!
All, that can be well understood
In this said book, is vastly good:
And, as to what's incomprehensible,
I dare be sworn 't is full as sensible.

But, to your work's immortal credit,
The P--e, good sir,-the P--e has read it.
(The only book, himself remarks,
Which be has read since Mrs. Clarke's.)
Last levee-morn he look'd it through
During that awful hour or two
Of grave tonsorial preparation,
Which, to a fond admiring nation,
Sends forth, announced by trump and drum,
The best-wigg'd P--ein Christendom!
He thinks, with you, the imagination
Of partnership in legislation
Could only enter in the noddles
Of dull and ledger-keeping twaddles,
Whose heads on firms are running so,
They even must have a King and Co.

See the Edinburgh Review. NoXL,

Before I send this scrawl away,
I seize a moment, just to say
There's some parts of the Turkish system
So vulgar, 't were as well you miss d 'em.
For instance in Seraglio matters-
Your Turk, whom girlish fondness flatters,
Would fill his Haram (tasteless fool!)
With tittering, red-cheek'd things from school-
But here (as in that fairy land,

Where Love and Age went hand in hand;' The learned Colonel must allude here to a description of the Mysterious Isle, in the History of Abdalla, Son of Hanif, where such saversions of the order of nature are said to have taken place, - . A score of old women and the same number of old men played here and there in the court, come at chuck-farthing others at tip-eat or at cockles... And again, • There is nothing, behere me, more engaging than those lovely wrinkles, etc, ele - See Tales of the East, vel in. pp. 607, 608.

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