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Yet if health do not sweeten the blast with her bloom,
The merriest wight of all the kings
That ever ruled these gay gallant isles;
Like us, by day they rode, they walkd,
At eve they did as we may do, And Grammont just like Spencer talkd,
And lovely Stewart smiled like you!
The only different trait is this,
That woman then, if man beset her, Was rather given to saying « yes,»
Because, as yet, she knew no better!
Farewell to the few I have left with regret,
boval, When they've ask'd me the manners, the mind, or the
mien Of some bard I had known, or some chief I had seen, Whose glory, though distant, they long had adored, Whose name often hallow'd the juice of their board! And still as, with sympathy humble but true, I told them each luminous trait that I knew, They have listen'd, and sigh'd that the powerful stream Of America's empire should pass, like a dream, Without leaving one fragment of genius, to say How sublime was the tide which had vanishi d away! Farewell to the few-though we never may meet On this planet again, it is soothing and sweet To think that, whenever my song or my name Shall recur to their ear, they'll recal me the same Have been to them now, young, unthoughtful, and
blest, Ere hope had deceived me or sorrow depress'd !
Each night they held a coterie,
Where, every fear to slumber charm'd, Lovers were all they ought to be,
And husbands not the least alarmd!
They call up all their school-day pranks,
Nor thought it much their sense beneath To play at riddles, quips, and cranks,
And lords show'd wit, and ladies teeth.
As--«Why are husbands like the Mint?»
Because, forsooth, a husband's duty Is just to set the name and print
That give a currency to beauty.
Why is a garden's wilderd maze
Like a young widow, fresh and fair? Because it wants some hand to raise
The weeds, which « have no business there ! »
And thus they miss'd and thus they hit,
And now they struck and now they parried, And some lay-in of full-grown wit,
While others of a pun miscarried.
Bui, Douglas! while thus I endear to my mind
'T was one of those facelious nights
That Grammont gave this forfeit ring, For breaking grave conundrum rites,
Or punning ili, or-some such thing;
From whence it can be fairly traced
Through many a branch and many a bough, From twig to twig, until it graced
The snowy hand that wears it now.
All this I 'll prove, and then to you,
Oh Tunbridge! and your springs ironical, I swear by II-the-te's
of blue, To dedicate the important chronicle.
But see !- the bent top-sails are ready to swellTo the boal-I am with thee-Columbia, farewell!
Long may your ancient inmates give
Their mantles to your modern lodgers, And Charles' loves in Il-the-te live,
And Charles' bards revive in Rogers!
TO LADY H--
ON AN OLD RING FOUND AT TUNBRIDGE-WELLS.
. Tunnebrice est à la même distance de Loodres
Fontainebleau l'est de Paris. Ce qu'il y a de beau et de galant dans l'un et dans l'autre seur s'y rassemble au temps des eaur. La compagnie, etc. etc, ---See Mémoires de Grammont, seconde part. cap. iii.
Let no pedantic fools be there,
For ever be those fops abolish'd, With heads as wooden as thy ware,
And, Heaven knows! not half so polish d.
TUNBRIDGE-Wells, August, 1805. When Grammont graced these happy springs,
And Tunbridge saw, upon her Pantiles,
But still receive the mild, the gay,
The few, who know the rare delight Of reading Grammont every day,
And acting Grammont every night!
Instead of wise encomiastics
Upon the Doctors and Scholastics,
Polymaths, and Polyhistors,
Polyglots and all their sisters,
The instant I have got the whim in,
Off I fly with puns and women,
Like epic poets, ne'er at case Old Cloe, whose withering kisses
l'ntil I've stolen « ia medias res!» Have long set the loves at defiance,
So have I known a hopeful youth
Sit down, in quest of lore and truth,
With tomes sufficient to confound him,
Like Tohu Bohu, heap'd around him,-
Mamurra' stuck to Theophrastus,
And Galen tumbling o'er Bombastus! ?
When lo! while all that's learn'd and wise
Absorbs the boy, he lifts lois eyes,
And through yie window of his study
Beholds a virgin, fair and ruddy,
With eyes as brichtly turned upon him as
The angel's 3 were on Hieronymus,
Saying, 't was just as sweet to kiss her-oh!
Far more sweet than reading Cicero!
Quick fly the folios, widely scatter'd,
Old Homer's laurelld brow is batter'd,
And Sappho's skin to Tully's leather,
All are confused and tossed together!
Raptured he quits each dozing sage,
Oh woman! for thy lovelier page:
Whose errors are thy fairest part ;
Is the best page in all the volume! 4
But, to begin my subject rhyme-. When to kiss and to count you endeavour ; "T was just about this devilish time, But eloquence glows on your lip
• Mamurra, a dogmatic philosopher, who never doubted about any When you swear that you 'll love me for ever. thing, except who was his father. Nulla de re unquam præterquam
de patre dubitavit. ---In vit. He was very learned-. Là dedans (that Thus you see what a brilliant alliance
is, in his head when it was opened) le Pusique heurte le Persan, of arts is assembled in you
l'Hébreu choque l'Arabique, pour ne point parler de la mauvaise in
telligence da Latia avec le Gree, etc.--See l'Histoire de Montmaur, A course of more exquisite science
tom. i. page 91. Man never need wish to go through!
• Bombastus was one of the names of that great scholar and quack Paracelsus. . Philippus Bombastus latet sub splendido tegmine Aureoli
Theophrasti Paracelsi,. says Suadelius de circumforanea Literatorum And, oh!--if a fellow like me
vanilate. -He used to hight the devil every night with a broad-sword. May confer a diploma of hearts,
to the so small terror of his pupil Oporinus, who has recorded the With my lip thus I seal your degree,
circumstance. (See Oronin. Vil. apud Christian. Gryph. Vit. Select.
quorundam Eruditissimorum, ete.) Paracelsus had but a poor opinion My divine little Mistress of Arts!
of Galen. • My very beard (ways be in his Paragrænum) has more learning in it than either Galen or Avicenna..
* The angel who scolded St Jerom for reading Cicero, as GRATIAN
tells the story, in his concordantia discordantium Canonum, and says EXTRACT FROM
that for this reason bishops were not allowed to read the Classies.
• Episcopas Gentilium libros non legat.. -Distinct. 37. Bat Gratian « THE DEVIL AMONG THE SCHOLARS.”' is notorious for lying-besides, angels have got no tongues, as the
illustrious pupil of Pantenus assures us : OuX'W MIY TAWTA, ΤΙ ΚΑΚΟΝ Ο ΓΕΛΩΣ; ;
ούτως εκεινους ή γλωττα· ουδ' αν οργανα τις δων Carysost. Homil. in Epist. ad Hebræos. could sold without a tongue, I shall leave the angelie Mrs — to
pevns aygeous. --Clem. ALEXAND. Stromat. Now, how an angel determine.
• The idea of the Rabbios about the origin of woman in singular. But, whither have these gentle ones,
They think that man was originally formed with a tail, like a monkey,
but that the Deity cut off this appendage bebind, and made woman of The rosy nymphs and black-eyed nuns,
Upon this extraordinary supposition the following reflexion is With all of Cupid's wild romancing,
founded : Led my truant brains a dancing ?
If such is the ve between women and men,
The ninny who weds is a pitiful elf, ! I promised that I would give the remainder of this poem, but, as For be takes to his tail, like an idiot, again, my critica do sot seem to relish the sublime learning which it contains, And he makes a deplorable ape of himself. they shall have so more of it. With a view, however, to the edifica- Yet, if we may judge as the fashions prevail, ties of these gentlemen, I have prevailed on an industrious friend of Every husband remembers the original plan, mine, who has read a great number of unnecessary books, to illumi- And, knowing his wife is no more than his tail, sate the extract with a little of his precious erudition.
Why be-leaves her behind him as much as he ean.
When scarce there happen'd any frolics
Tu logics, he was quite Bo Panuli That were not done by Diabolics,
knew as much as ever man knew. A cold and loveless son of Lucifer,
He fought the combat syllogistic Who woman scorn'd, nor knew the use of her,
With so much skill and art eristic, A branch of Dagon's family
That though you were the learned Stagyrite, (Which Dagon, whether He or She,
At once upon the hip he had you right! Is a dispute that vastly better is
Sometimes indeed his speculations Referr'd to Scaliger et cæteris),
Were view'd as dangerous innovations. Finding that, in this cage of fools,
As thus the Doctor's house did harbour a The wisest sots adorn the schools,
Sweet blooming girl, whose name was Barbara : Took it at once his head Satanic in,
Oft, when his heart was in a merry key, To grow a great scholastic mannikin,
He tanght this maid his esoterica, A doctor, quite as learn'd and fine as
And sometimes, as a cure for hectics, Scotus Joha or Tom Aquinas, 2
Would lecture her in dialectics. Lully, Iales irrefragabilis,
How far their zeal let him and her go Or any doctor of the rabble is!
Before they came to sealiog Ergo, In languages, 3 the Polygl8ts,
Or how they placed the medius terminus, Compared to him, were Babel sots;
Our chronicles do not determine us; He chatter'd more than ever Jew did,
But so it was-by some confusion Sanhedrim and Priest included;
In this their logical prælusion, Priest and holy Sanhedrim
The Doctor wholly spoil'd, they say, Were one-and-seventy fools to him!
The figure of young Barbara ; But chief the learned demon felt a
And thus, by many a snare sophistic, Zeal so strong for gamma, delta,
And eothymeme paralogistic, That, all for Greek and learning's glory,4
Beguiled a maid, who could not give, le nightly tippled « Græco more,»
To save her life, a negative.3 And never paid a bill or balance
In music, though he had no ears Except upon the Grecian Kalends,
Except for that amongst the spheres From whence your scholars, when they want tick, (Which most of all, as be averr'd it, Say, to be Al-lick 's to be on tick!
Ile dearly loved, 'cause no one heard it), SCALIGER, de Emendat, Tempor.- Dagon was thought by others to
Yet aptly be, at sight, could read be a lain sea-monster, who came every day out of the
Red Sea to
Each tuueful diagram in Bede, reach the Syrians husbandry: -See Jacques GATTAREL'S Curiosités indu- And find, by Euclid's corollaria, ies, chap. 1. He says he thinks this story of the sea-monster • carries The ratios of a jig or aria. Tule show of probability with it. » wish it were koown with any degree of certainty whether the
But, as for all your warbling Delias, Commentary on Boethius attributed to Thomas Aquinas be really the
Orpheuses and Saint Cecilias, work of this angelic Doctor. There are some bold assertions bazarded He own's He thought them much surpass d in it: for instance, he says that Plato kept school in a town called By that redoubted Ilyaloclast, Academia, and that Alcibiades was a very beautiful woman bom come
Who still contrived, by dint of throttle, of Aristotle's pupils fell in love with : «Alcibiades mulier fuit pula cherrimis, quam videntes quidam discipuli Aristotelis, ele.-Sre
Where'er be went to crack a bottle! FREITAG, Adparat. Litterar, art. 86. tom. I.
3 The following compliment was paid to Laurentius Valla, upon Likewise to slow his mighty knowledge, lie,
On things unknown in physiology,
Wrote many a chapter to divert us,
Like that great little man Albertus,
'ONANT.-The introduction of this language into Esglish Pluto himself would be afraid
poetry has a good effect, and ought to be more universally adopind! 'To ask even .wbat's o'clock. in Latin !
A word or two of Greek in a stanza would serve as ballast to be at Thiese lines may be fouod in the Auctorum (ensio of Du VERDIER
light o' love: verses. AU SONIUS, among the ancients, may serve as a
model: (page ay), an excellent critic, if he could have either felt or understood any one of he works which he criticises.
Ου γαρ μοι θεμις εςιν in hac regione μενεντι .): is much to be regretted that Martin Luther, with all bis talents
Αξιον ab nostris επιδευεα esse καμηναις. . for reforming, should yet be sulgar enough to laugh at Camerarius for writing to himn in Greek. . Master Joachim (saya be) has sent me some Rossand, the French poet, has enriched his sodoeis and odes with any dates and some raisins, and has a'so written me two letters in Greek. an exquisite morsel from the Lexicon. His chère Entelechie, in adAs soon as I am recorcred, I shall answer them in Turkish, that he too dressing his mistress, is admirable, and can be only matched by Cow. 1 may bare the pleasure of reading woat he does not understand..- LET's Antiperistasis. • Græca sunt, legi non possunt, is the ignorant speech attributed to • The tirai figure of simple syllogisms, to which Barbara belsagt, Accursius, but very unjustly-far from asserting that Greek could not together with Celarent, Darii, and Ferio. be read, that worily juris-consule upon the Las 6. D. de Bovor. Because the three propositions in the mood of Barbara are universal possess, expressly sayo, • Græcæ literæ possunt intelligi et legi.. (Vide aftirmatives. The poet borrowed this equivoque upon Barbara frena Nov. Libror, Kartor. Collection. Fasciculi IV.)-Scipio Carteroma hus eurious Epigram which MENCAENIDA gives in a note opon his Essays de seems to think that were is no salvation out of the pale of Greek Charlataneria Eruditorum. To the Nuptia Peripateticæ of Carris literature: • Via prima salutis Graia pandetur ab urbe.. Aud the zeal BaxLxl 6, the reader will find some facetious applications of the terens of Laurentius Rhodomannus cannot be sulbiently admired, wbeu he of logic to matrimony. Cramax's Treatise on Syllogisms, in Martres eshorts bis countrymen, per gloriam Christi, per salutem patria, per Seriblerus, is borrowed chiefly from the Nuptie Peripatetice of Base ) reipublex decus et emolumentum, a to study abc Greek language. Nor must we forget Phavorraus, the excellent Bishop of Nocera, #ho, care- * Or Glass-Breaker.-Monnorius bas given an account of this extraless of all the usual commendations of a Christian, required no furiber ordmary man, in a work published 1682. . De vitreo crypho fracle, eulogium on bis tomb thao . llere lieth a Greek Lexicographer,
Wherein he show'd the reason why,
The tatter'd rags of every vest, When children first are heard to cry,
In which the Greeks and Romans dressid, If boy the baby chance to be,
And o'er her figure, swoln and antic, He cries OA!--if girl, OE!
Scatter'd them all with airs so frantic, They are, says he, exceeding fair hints
That those who saw the fits she had, Respecting their first sinful parents ;
Declared unhappy Prose was mad! « Oh Eve!, exclaimeth little madam,
Epics he wrote and scores of rebusses, While little master cries « Oh Adam!».
All as neat as old Turnebus's;
Eggs and altars, cyclopædias, In point of science astronomical,
Grammars, prayer-books--oh! 't were tedious, It seemed to him extremely comical
Did I but tell the half, to follow me; That, once a year, the frolic sun
Not the scribbling bard of Ptolemy, Should call ac Virgo's house for fan,
No-nor the hoary Trismegistus And stop a month and blaze around her,
(Whose writings all, thank Heaven! have miss it usi, Yet leave her Virgo, as he found her!
Eer filld with lumber such a ware-room
As this great « porcus literarum!»
FRAGMENTS OF A JOURNAL.
TO G. M. ESQ.
FROM FREDERICKSBURGH, VIRGINIA, · JUNE 2ND. Which play about a bumper's blaze, Were by the Doctors looked, in common, on, DEAR George! though every bone is aching, As a more rare and rich phenomenon!
After the shaking He wisely said that the sensorium
I've had this week, over ruts and ridges, 3 Is for the eyes a great emporium,
And bridges To which these noted picture stealers
Made of a few uneasy planks,4 Send all they can and meet with dealers.
In open ranks, In many an optical proceeding,
Like old women's teeth, all loosely thrown The brain, he said, show'd great good breeding; Over rivers of mud, whose names alone For instance, when we ogle women
Would make the knees of stoutest man knock, (A trick which Barbara tutor'd him in),
· Rappahannock, Although the dears are apt to get in a
Occoquan--the Heavens may harbour us!
Who ever heard of names so barbarous ?
These fragments form but a small part of a ridiculous medley of
prose and doggerel, into which, for my amusement, I threw some of Our doctor thus with « stuff d sufficiency the insidents of my journey. If it were even in a more rational Of all omnigenous omnisciency,
form, there is yet much of it too allasive and too personal for pube
lication. Began (as who would not begin That had, like him, so much within ?)
· Having remained about a week at New York, where I saw Madame To let it out in books of all sorts,
Jerome Bonaparte, and felt a slight shock of an earthquake (the only
things that particularly awakened my attention), I sailed again in the Folios, quartos, large and small sorts ;
Boston for Norfolk, from whence I proceeded on my four to the noribPoems, so very deep and sensible,
ward, through Williamsburgh, Richmond, etc. At Richmond there That they were quite incomprehensible ;3
are a few men of considerable talents. Mr Wickbam, one of their Prose which had been at learning's Fair,
relebrated legal characters, is a gentleman whose manners and mode
of life would do honour to the most cultivated societies. Judge MarAnd bought up all the trumpery there,
shall, the author of Washington's Life, is another very distinguished
ornament of Richmond. These gentlemen, I must observe, are of This is translated almost literally from a passage in Albertus de
that respectable, but at present unpopular, party, the Federalists. Secretis, etc.-1 have not the book by me, or I would transcribe the
"What Mr Weld says of the continual necessity of balancing or words. • Allading to that habitual act of the judgment, by which, notwith-trimming the stage, in passing over some of the wretched roadă in
• The driver frequently bad standing the inversion of the image upon the retina, a correct impres- to call to be passengers in the stage, to lean out of the carriage, first sion of the ebject is conveyed to the sensorium, Under this description. I believe, the Devil among the Scholars.
at one side then at the other, to prevent it from oversetting in the deep
ruts with which the road abounde! Now, gentlemen, to the right; may be incladed. Yet Leibnitz found out the ases of incomprehessibility, when he was appointed secretary to a society of philosophers upon which the passengers all stretched their bodies half way out of
the carriage, to balance it on that side. Now, Gentlemen, to the at Nuremberg, merely for his merit in writing a cabalistical letter, one word of shich neither they nor himself could interpret. See the Eloge left;' and so 00..- Wald's Travels, letter 3. Historique de M. DE LEMNITZ, l'Europe Savante. People in all ages
* Before the stage can pass one of these bridges, the driver is obliged have loved to be puzzled. We find Cicero thanking Atticus for having to stop and arrange the loose planks, of which it is composed, in the sent him a work of Serapion, • ex quo (says be) quidem ego (quod inter manner that best suits his ideas of safety: and, as the planks are again nos liceat dicere) millesimam partem vis intelligo.. Lib. 2. epist. 4. disturbed by the passing of the coach, the next travellerswbo arrive have And we know that Aricen, the learned Arabian, read Anistor.x's Meta- of course a new arrangement to make. Mahomet (as Sale tells us) was physies forty times over, for the supreme pleasure of being able to in- at some pains to imagine a precarious kind of bridge for the entrance form the world that he could not comprehend one syllable throughout of Paradise, in order to enbanee the pleasures of arrival, a Virginian them. --Nicolas Morsa in Vit. Avicen.
bridge, I think, would have answered hts purpose completely.
Worse than M***'s Latin,
I'll send you some Dionra Muscipula,
And, into Bartram's book if you dip, you 'll a
Pretty and tlorid description find of
This « ludicrous, lobed, carnivorous, kind of (My muse I mean) to make her speak 'em;
The Lord deliver us!
Think of a vegetable being « carnivorous !»
And, George, be sure Words that ought only be said upon holidays, I 'll treat you too, like Liancourt ? When one has nothing else to do.
(Nor thou be risible),
With all the views, so striking and romantic,
If it were visible.
And now, to tell
you the gay variety For having scrawld a kind of letter
Of my stage society,
There was a quaker, who room for twenty took, It seems to me like-«George, food-night!»
Pious and big as a Polyglot Pentateuch! Though far the spot I date it from;
There was his niece too, sitting so fair by, To which I fancy, while I write,
Like a neat testament, kept to swear by. You answer back-«Good-night i'ye, Tom.»
What pity, blooming girl!
That lips, so ready for a lover,
Should not beneath their ruby casket cover
One tooth of pearl! 3
But, like a rose beside the church-yard-stone,
Be doom'd to blush o'er many a mouldering bone' of eating, drinking, and such other vices,
There was a student of the college, too,
Much more about the riches of his head,
Than, if there were an income-tax on brains,
His head could venture to acknowledge to.
I ask'd the Scholar
If his—what d'ye call her?-
Alma Mater and her Bishop Geography, law, or such like mysteries,
Properly follow'd the Marquis's wish up,4 For which she does n't care three skips of
And were much advancing
. Observed I kewise in these envangs abundance of the ludicross Such a flea as was caught upon Catherine Roache!3 Dionra Muscipula..-- Bartean's Travele in North Amerira. F bis
description of ibis . carnivorous vegetable. see Introductinn, p. 13.
? This philosophical Duke, describing the view from Mr Jefferson's Sentiment, George, I 'll talk, when I've got any,
house, says, The Atlantie might be seen, were it not for the greatness And botany,
of the distance, which renders that prospect impossible.»--Sec bis
? Polygnotus kas the first painter, savs pliny, who showed the terth
in his portraits. He would scarcely. I think, bave been tempted to sal Under every bush,
an innovation in America. As would make the «shy curcuma 14 blush;
+ The Marquis de CRASTELLDI, in his wise letter to Mr Maddisse, Vice under every name and shape,
Professor of Philosophy in ihe College of William aod Mary, at WiFrom adulterous gardens to fields of rape!
liamsburgh, dwells with much earnestness on the attentien which
should he paid to dancing. -Sre his Travels. This college, the eah 'ETeppa, OpR1024x11one XavoTwardes.-- From the Ly-one in the state of Virginia, and the first which I saw in Amerira, gare sistrata of AATSTOFRASES, Y. 158.
me bot a melancholy idea of republican stats of learning. Thatras : This phrase is taken verbatim from an account of an expedition to tempt for the elepancies of education, which the Americas Brmocrats Drummonel's Pond, by one of those many Americans who process to affect, is no bere more grossly conspicuons than in Virginia: the think that the English language, as it bas been hitberte written, is de- Foung men, who look for advancement, study rather to be demse goes ficient in what they call republican energy. One of the savans or than politicians; and as everything that distinguishes from the mealsWashington is far advanced in the construction of a new language for ude is supposed to be lovidious and unpopular, the Irrelling ersiem in the limited States, which is susposed to be a mixture of Hebrew and applied to education, and has had all the effect which its partisans Mikmak
could desire, by producing a most extensive rquality of ignorance. The 3 Alluding to a collection of poems, called La Pure de grands-jours Abbé Rarnar, in his prophetic admonitions to the Americans, directions de Poitiers They were all written upon a fira, which strpluen Pas-their attention very strongly to learned establishmenis, says. . Whou quier found on the bosom of the famous Catherine des Hlorhes, one the south of a country are seen depraved, the nation is on the dertine. morning during the quals-jours of lontiers Task pardon of ihr I know not what the Abbé Raynal would pronounce of this patina *** Icarurd Catherine's memors, for my vulcar alteration of her most re- were he alive to know the morals of the young students at WilhasSpectable wame.
burgh! But when he wrote, his countrvinen had not yet introdused 4. Curcuma, Hands!.DK
the doctrinam deor spennentcntio America,