unhappily I consented with Mr. Ramsey, and I believe between us we might take more than thirty pounds out of the money collected for building the school in Kingswood. I acknowledge the justice of God in overtaking me for my sacrilege, in taking that money which was devoted to God. But he, I trust, has forgiven me this and all my sins, washing them away in the blood of the Lamb.

"Feb. 12, 1739-40.

GWILLAM SNOWDE."

I knew not in the morning whether to rejoice or grieve, when they informed me he was reprieved for six weeks; and afterward, that he was ordered for transportation. But known unto God are all his works! Wed. 20.—I explained at Deptford the nature of Christian faith and salvation. Many seemed to receive the word with joy. Others complained, "Thou bringest strange things to our ears;" though some of them had not patience to hear what this new doctrine was.

Thur. 21.—I had a long conference with those whom I esteem very highly in love. But I could not yet understand them on one point,— Christian openness and plainness of speech. They pleaded for such a reservedness and closeness of conversation as I could in no wise reconcile with St. Paul's direction, "By manifestation of the truth” to commend “ourselves to every man's conscience in the sight of God.” Yet I scarce knew what to think, considering they had the practice of their whole Church on their side: till I opened my Testament on these words, “What is that to thee? Follow thou me."

Tues. 26.-Complaint was made again, (as indeed had been done before, and that not once or twice only,) that many of our brethren, not content with leaving off the ordinances of God themselves, were continually troubling those that did not, and disputing with them, whether they would or no. The same complaint was made the next night also, at the meeting of the society. I then plainly set before them the things they had done, expostulated the case with them, and earnestly besought them not to trouble or perplex the minds of their brethren any more; but at least to excuse those who still waited for God in the ways of his own appointment.

Sat. March 1.—Many that were in heaviness being met together, we cried to God to comfort their souls. One of these soon found that God heareth the prayer. She had before been under the physician's hands; her relations taking it for granted she was "beside herself.” But the Great Physician alone knew how to heal her sickness. Mon. 3. —I rode by Windsor to Reading, where I had left two or three full of peace and love. But I now found some from London had been here, grievously troubling these souls also; labouring to persuade them, 1. That they had no faith at all, because they sometimes felt doubt or fear. And, 2. That they ought to be still; not to go to church, not to communicate, not to search the Scriptures: "Because," say they, "you cannot do any of these things without trusting in them." After confirming their souls we left Reading, and on Wednesday, 5, came to Bristol. It was easy to observe here, in how different a manner God works now, from what he did last spring. He then poured along like a rapid flood, overwhelming all before him. Whereas now,

He deigns his influence to infuse,
Secret, refreshing as the silent dews.

Convictions sink deeper and deeper. Love and joy are more calm, even, and steady. And God, in many, is laying the axe to the root of the tree, who can have no rest in their spirits till they are fully renewed in the image of God, in righteousness and true holiness.

Wed. 12.-I found a little time (having been much importuned) to spend with the soldier in Bridewell, who was under sentence of death. This I continued to do once a day; whereby there was also an opportunity of declaring the Gospel of peace to several desolate ones that were confined in the same place. Tues. 18.-In the evening, just after I had explained, as they came in course, those comfortable words of God to St. Paul, "Be not afraid; but speak, and hold not thy peace: for I am with thee, and no man shall set on thee to hurt thee; for I have much people in this city,”—a person spoke aloud in the middle of the room, "Sir, I am come to give you notice, that, at the next quarter sessions, you will be prosecuted for holding a seditious conventicle." Tues. 25.-The morning exposition began at five, as I hope it will always for the time to come. Thursday, 27, I had an interview with Joseph Chandler, a young Quaker, who had sometimes spoke in their meeting, with whom I had never exchanged a word before; as indeed I knew him not either by face or name. But some had been at the pains of carrying him, as from me, a formal challenge to dispute; and had afterward told him that I had declared, in the open society, I challenged Joseph Chandler to dispute; and he promised to come, but broke his word. Joseph immediately sent to know, from my own mouth, if these things were so. If those who probably count themselves better Christians, had but done like this honest Quaker, how many idle tales, which they now potently believe, would, like this, have vanished into air! Fri. 28.-From these words, "Then was Jesus led by the Spirit into the wilderness to be tempted of the devil,” I took occasion to describe that wilderness state, that state of doubts, and fears, and strong temptation, which so many go through, though in different degrees, after they have received remission of sins.

Sat. 29.-I spent another hour with one I had twice conversed with before; and with much the same effect. He asked wherein the doctrine I preached differed from the doctrine preached by other ministers of the Church. I told him, "I hope not at all from that which is preached by many other ministers. But from that which is preached by some, it differs thus: I preach the doctrine of the Church, and they do not.” After he had long and zealously laboured to prove, that all ministers preached as I did, and there was no difference of doctrine at all; I was obliged to leave him abruptly; and should indeed have feared, that my time had been spent to small purpose, but for one piece of history which I then learned, viz. that he had gone to the bishop, before his lordship left Bristol, and informed him that I said in the public congregation, I had had a conference with the bishop and twelve clergymen, and had put them all to silence. Was his lordship so informed? And could he believe even this? O Joseph Chandler, Joseph Chandler!

1

I think it was about this time that the soldier was executed. For some time I had visited him every day. But when the love of God was shed abroad in his heart, I told him, "Do not expect to see any more. He who has now begun a good work in your soul,

doubt not, preserve you to the end. But I believe Satan will separate us for a season. "9 Accordingly, the next day, I was informed that the commanding officer had given strict orders, neither Mr. Wesley, nor any of his people, should be admitted; for they were all Atheists. did that man die like an Atheist? Let my last end be like his!

But

Tues. April 1.-While I was expounding the former part of the twenty-third chapter of the Acts, (how wonderfully suited to the occasion! though not by my choice,) the floods began to lift up their voice. Some or other of the children of Belial had laboured to disturb us several nights before: but now it seemed as if all the host of the aliens were come together with one consent. Not only the court and the alleys, but all the street, upward and downward, was filled with people, shouting, cursing, and swearing, and ready to swallow the ground with fierceness and rage. The mayor sent order, that they should disperse. But they set him at nought. The chief constable came next in person, who was, till then, sufficiently prejudiced against us. But they insulted him also in so gross a manner, as, I believe, fully opened his eyes. At length the mayor sent several of his officers, who took the ringleaders into custody, and did not go till all the rest were dispersed. Surely he hath been to us "the minister of God for good."

Wed. 2.-The rioters were brought up to the court, the quarter sessions being held that day. They began to excuse themselves by saying many things of me. But the mayor cut them all short, saying, "What Mr. Wesley is, is nothing to you. I will keep the peace: I will have no rioting in this city." Calling at Newgate in the afternoon, I was informed that the poor wretches under sentence of death were earnestly desirous to speak with me; but that it could not be; Alderman Beecher having just then sent an express order that they should not. I cite Alderman Beecher to answer for these souls at the judgment seat of Christ.

Thur. 3.-I went into the room, weak and faint. The scripture that came in course, was, " After the way which they call heresy, so worship I the God of my fathers." I know not, whether God hath been so with us from the beginning hitherto : he proclaimed, as it were, a general deliverance to the captives. The chains fell off: they arose and followed him. The cries of desire, joy, and love, were on every side. Fear, sorrow, and doubt, fled away. Verily thou hast "sent a gracious rain upon thine inheritance, and refreshed it when it was weary." On Good Friday I was much comforted by Mr. T—'s sermon at All Saints, which was according to the truth of the Gospel; as well as by the affectionate seriousness wherewith he delivered the holy bread to a very large congregation. May the good Lord fill him with all the life of love, and with all "spiritual blessings in Christ Jesus." At five, preaching on John xix, 34, "A soldier pierced his side, and there came forth blood and water;" I was enabled to speak strong words, both concerning the atoning blood, and the liv ing sanctifying water. Many were deeply convinced of their want of both; and others filled with strong consolation.

Mon. 7.-At the pressing instance of Howel Harris, I again set out for Wales. In the evening I preached "repentance and remission of sins," at Lanvachas, three miles from the New Passage. Tuesday, 8,

I preached at Pont-y-Pool, on, " By grace ye are saved, through faith :" and in the evening at Lanhithel, three miles from thence, on, "I know that in me dwelleth no good thing." Wed. 9.-After reading prayers in Lanhithel church, I preached on those words, "I will heal their backsliding, I will love them freely." In the afternoon Howel Harris told me how earnestly many had laboured to prejudice him against me; especially those who had gleaned up all the idle stories at Bristol, and retailed them in their own country. And yet these are good Christians! These whisperers, tale bearers, back biters, evil speakers! Just such Christians as murderers or adulterers. 66 Except ye repent ye shall all likewise perish." In the evening I expounded, at Cardiff, the story of the Pharisee and Publican. The next day, Thursday, 10, after preaching thrice, I rode to Watford, five miles from Cardiff, where a few of us joined together in prayer, and in provoking one another to love and to good works.

Fri. 11.--I preached in Lantarnum church, on, "By grace ye are saved, through faith." In the afternoon I preached at Penreul, near Pont-y-Pool. A few were cut to the heart, particularly Mrs. Ad, who had some time before given me up for a Papist; Mr. E- -S, the curate, having averred me to be such, upon his personal knowledge, at her house in Pont-y-Pool. I afterward called, "O ye dry bones, hear the word of the Lord:" and there was a shaking indeed. Three or four came to me in such mourning as I had scarcely seen; as did a poor drunkard, between eleven and twelve, who was convinced by the word spoken on Tuesday.

Sat. 12.-After preaching at Lanvachas in the way, in the afternoon I came to Bristol, and heard the melancholy news, that one of the chief of those who came to make the disturbance on the 1st instant, had hanged himself. He was cut down, it seems, alive; but died in less than an hour. A second of them had been for some days in strong pain; and had many times sent to desire our prayers. A third came to me himself, and confessed he was hired that night, and made drunk on purpose; but when he came to the door, he knew not what was the matter, he could not stir, nor open his mouth.

Mon. 14.-I was explaining the "liberty" we have "to enter into the holiest by the blood of Jesus," when one cried out, as in an agony, "Thou art a hypocrite, a devil, an enemy to the Church. This is false doctrine. It is not the doctrine of the Church. It is damnable doctrine. It is the doctrine of devils." I did not perceive that any were hurt thereby; but rather strengthened, by having such an opportunity of confirming their love toward him, and returning good for evil. Tues. 15.-I received the following note :

"SIR,-This is to let you understand, that the man which made the noise last night is named John Beon. He now goes by the name of John Darsy. He is a Romish priest. We have people enough here in Bristol that know him."

Sat. 19.-I received a letter from Mr. Simpson, and another from Mr. William Oxlee, informing me that our poor brethren in Fetter-lane were again in great confusion; and earnestly desiring that, if it were possible, I would come to London without delay. Mon. 21.-I set out, and the next evening reached London. Wednesday, 23, I went

to Mr. Simpson. He told me, all the confusion was owing to my brother, who would preach up the ordinances: "Whereas believers," said he, "are not subject to ordinances; and unbelievers having nothing to do with them: they ought to be still; otherwise, they will be unbelievers all the days of their life."

After a fruitless dispute of about two hours, I returned home with a heavy heart. Mr. Molther was taken ill this day. I believe it was the hand of God that was upon him. In the evening our society met; but cold, weary, heartless, dead. I found nothing of brotherly love among them now; but a harsh, dry, heavy, stupid spirit. For two hours they looked one at another, when they looked up at all, as if one half of them was afraid of the other; yea, as if a voice were sounding in their ears, "Take ye heed every one of his neighbour : trust ye not in any brother: for every brother will utterly supplant, and every neighbour will walk with slanders." I think not so few as thirty persons spoke to me in these two days, who had been strongly solicited, 1. To deny what God had done for their souls; to own they never had living faith. 2. To be still till they had it; to leave off all the means of grace; not to go to church; not to communicate; not to search the Scripture; not to use private prayer; at least, not so much, or not vocally, or not at any stated times.

Fri. 25.-My brother and I went to Mr. Molther again, and spent two hours in conversation with him. He now also explicitly affirmed, 1. That there are no degrees in faith; that none has any faith who has ever any doubt or fear; and that none is justified till he has a clean heart, with the perpetual indwelling of Christ, and of the Holy Ghost: and 2. That every one who has not this, ought, till he has it, to be still: that is, as he explained it, not to use the ordinances, or means of grace, so called. He also expressly asserted, 1. That to those who have a clean heart, the ordinances are not matter of duty. They are not commanded to use them: they are free: they may use them, or they may not. 2. That those who have not a clean heart, ought not to use them; (particularly not to communicate ;) because God neither commands nor designs they should; (commanding them to none, designing them only for believers;) and because they are not means of grace; there being no such thing as means of grace, but Christ only.

Ten or twelve persons spoke to me this day also, and many more the day following, who had been greatly troubled by this new gospel, and thrown into the utmost heaviness; and, indeed, wherever I went, I found more and more proofs of the grievous confusion it had occasioned; many coming to me day by day, who were once full of peace and love; but were now again plunged into doubts and fears, and driven even to their wit's end. I was now utterly at a loss what course to take; finding no rest for the sole of my foot. These "vain janglings" pursued me wherever I went, and were always sounding in my ears.-Wednesday, 30, I went to my friend, (that was!) Mr. Stat Islington. But he also immediately entered upon the subject, telling me, now he was fully assured, that no one has any degree of faith till he is perfect as God is perfect. I asked, “Have you then no degree of faith?" He said, "No; for I have not a clean heart." I turned and asked his servant, "Esther, have you a clean heart?" She said,