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treaties. Those times, the memory of which now torments me, why were they so fortunate? it was because I then waited for the blessings of the Eternal with patience, and received them with a grateful and feeling heart.
November 8. /CHARLOTTE has reproved ^—* me for my excesses, with so much tenderness and goodness !—In order to forget myself, my dear friend, I have for some time past drank more wine than usual — Q "Don't "Donlt do it," said she; " think of Charlotte."—The necessary advice to think of Charlotte !—I do think of you, and yet 'tis not thinking of you; you are always before my eyes, you are in my heart: This very morning I was sitting in the place where you stopped the last time.—Immediately Ihe changed the subject. My dear friend, I am no longer any thing, ihe makes me just what she pleases.LETTER LXVIII.
November 15. T THANK you, my good friend, ■ for interesting yourself so kindly jn what relates to me, and for the good advice you give me; and I beg of you to make yourself easy. Leave me to my sufferings; surrounded as I am, I have still strength enough to endure them to the end. I revere our religion; you know I do: I am sensible that it often gives strength to the feeble, and comfort to the afflicted. — But has it, should it have this effect on all men equally? Consider this vast universe, verse, and you will find millions for whom it never has existed ; and millions, whether it is preached to them or not, for whom it never will exist. —Do not give a wrong construction to this, I beg of you. I don't love vain disputes on subjects which we are all equally ignorant of. What is the destiny of man ?—to fill up the measure of his sufferings, and drink up the bitter draught.—*And
. if the cup appeared bitter even to the Son of the Most High, why should I affect a foolish pride, and say my eup is sweet? Why should I be afhamed to tremble in that fearful moment, when my soul shall be
; G 2 suspended suspended between existence and annihilation—when dissolution, like a flash of lightning, shall illuminate the dark gulf of futurity—when every thing shakes around me, and the whole world vanishes away ?— This is the voice of a creature oppressed beyond all resource, and who feels with terror that he cannot escape destruction.—" My God ! my God! why hast thou forsaken me?"— Should I be ashamed to use this expression ?—He who spreads out the heavens as it were a garment, felt terror himself.'