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entangled in spiders' webs of sophistry and heathen wisdom, which, if not human, is certainly not heavenly. Lord, teach me what I am to do, and save our souls. Make us Christians, and do unto Quakerism as seemeth good unto Thee.

6th month, 4th.-Fourth day I returned from London, where my sojourn has been one of deep and painful interest in several ways. This day two weeks I took leave of George, about to sail to Mauritius with his wife and child and his friend P., with his wife and child. May God preserve them and render them useful in the work of love to which He has sent them. It is no trifle to take leave of a brother under such circumstances, and it pressed heavily on my heart, but the feeling was not grief.

I was representative of the Yearly Meeting, at which I had an opportunity of seeing more into the character of our Society than I had ever done before; and the result on my own mind has been, that I would leave it immediately, if it were not for the fear of grieving my beloved parents, and that I hope by continuing in it (perhaps only for a time) I may be the humble means in the hands of God of rousing some of my young associates from that state of sleepy ignorance into which so many have fallen, dreaming that they were born on the very summit of Mount Zion, above all the rest of the Christian world. I was comforted and strengthened to find others of like mind with myself (grey bearded men), with whom I attended two private meetings at J. Braithwaite's lodgings. We were no party, we appeared to have no common bond of union but Christian love, and the same general views of Divine truth in relation to the present state of our Society. One or two expressed themselves as being ready to resign their membership immediately, but the others, amounting to more than thirty, agreed to remain as they were for the present. We instituted a system of correspondence, by which we hope, with the blessing of God, to strengthen and instruct each other. If we should ever see our way to leave our brethren in religious communion, I believe some will go one way and some another, for I must confess that I now think we are no Quakers, nor do we seem to have any new view on which a sect might be formed; and it was evident at the meeting that we greatly differed in our estimation of other societies, some inclining to Dissent, others to the Church. It was instructive to see that, with only one exception, we were all plain in dress and speech, and the ages of most were such as to preclude the notion of their running after new things for nothing; so that there was but little ground of attack from the many who, a little while ago, asserted that the difference in the Society sprung up amongst a few young men, who were impatient of 'walking in the narrow way.'

6th month, 19th.--I begin to think that I can now look upon the controversy in our Society on the firm ground of fixed principles. Oh, that God would bless me with His Holy Spirit, and enable me to feed upon His truth, and (if it be His will) give me the power of continuous thought and correct expression to declare it to my fellow-men. Even if the love of worldly distinction be not quite absent from this desire, Thou knowest, ( Father of spirits, that it has for its spring a deeper, more enduring, and a holier feeling:



“Let us make man in our image.” There is a higher sense in which man is the image of his Creator, but it is worth while to note wherein the Divine intellect and man's intellect have led to the application of the same principles of nature to the same ends, and thus show that in a sense they are alike in kind, one being finite, and the other infinite; one created, and the other uncreated. Last evening, I saw

I on the branch of a tree some little membranous capsules, of a dark brown colour, about a quarter of an inch diameter, much resembling limpet shells. On taking some of them off, I found them to be filled with some very white soft silk, containing in the middle of it a few orange-coloured eggs, of exceedingly minute size. If I had never seen jewels wrapped up in cotton, I should not have seen the purpose of the arrangement. Man had constructed the telescope before he understood

. 7th month, 3rd.—To-morrow night is fixed for my departure from Southampton, and perhaps I may never after to-morrow call my father's house a home. I am still much like one in a carriage with lamps, in a dark night, who sees only a few paces ahead; but the little flickering glimpse of certainty that the prospect of a removal to London gives me, calls for gratitude. O Thou, that holdest the hearts and minds of all men, Thy will be done! Strengthen, enlighten, purify me, and give me faith, built upon love, above all things.

8th month, 21st.—My inclinations, desires, views of the past and future, are all undergoing a change. I feel as if I were leaping over a bottomless chasm, but the land I am reaching after is worth the risk. Inward and outward all seem going together. Will

the human eye.


God indeed uphold me? Will He strengthen me and enlighten me? He will,—for His promises fail not. I am, indeed, at times supremely happy, though I seem

I to be suspended in chaos, and the devil laughing at

But Christ has died for me, the Holy Ghost has stirred within my soul, and God loves me. I will not fear those cloudy forms that flit between me and reality, for I know that there is life and reality though they may gather together like thick thunderclouds, and I know that the Sun of Righteousness will dispel them as the day advances, at the hour which He has appointed.

10th month, 23rd.—The preliminaries of my arrangement at Holborn Hill are now verbally settled. Thou, who alone knowest the future, grant they may be blessed in the way that may seem meet to Thy wisdom.

The working for myself, which business now involves to me, is what will never yield me content. This is a fixed point. It is true you may do some good as you go along, and you may live in the sight of God. But I have sought, and I have sought honestly, and I have found it not my place.

Nothing will fill my longings except the Church, and such a step as that would involve, would dissever me from nearly all my relations and many of my friends. I do not indeed say that I should be prepared for it myself immediately, even if external things were more favourable, but I believe that there lies my sphere of duty.

O Thou, who knowest the wants of Thy Church, and to whom the secrets of all hearts are laid open, let Thy will be wrought, and may we all be ready to obey Thy requirings, and placing implicit trust in Thee,




livingly believe the place Thou hast ordained for us the best!

11th month, 13th. Southampton.--I must henceforth strive in earnest to get out of the dreamy state into which the devil has led me. I must learn self-annihilation,' in the sense which the expression bears viewed in the light of Christianity. A prospect of the future opens before me, which seems to render my past existence intelligible; which enables me to thank God for what before seemed unmingled evil, and on which my rebellious mind had never rested in peace. What I have to beware of now is, that no honest scruples be overlooked in the ardour with which I trust I shall be inspired; that nothing connected with my past life may be left incomplete; and that I may proceed in the way that will be least painful to those of my dear relations who


differ from me. I cannot be enough thankful for the discovery that my dearest mother will not be grieved by my change, so far as her own feelings are concerned. And He who has influenced her mind may also bring my father into accordance with it.

A restraint of religious prudence is still laid upon my making an outward change, because I ought not to add to the unsettledness of our family just at the present moment, unless conscience, acting from some other quarter, commanded me. I therefore propose to go on as I am for some time longer. Then if it should please my Father who is in heaven to prosper me in outward things, I should wish to throw up all pecuniary connection with my family and go to Cambridge on my own resources.

This will of course bring my ordination too late in life, but there are very many considerations which seem to render that rather desirable.

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