[27] 5 KNO. Humh! Affe? and ferious? nay, then pardon mee my vapour. I haue a foolish vapour, Gentlemen : any man that doe's vapour me, the Asse, Master QuarlousQVAR. What then, Mafter Iordan? KNO. I doe vapour him the lye. QVAR. Faith, and to any man that vapours mee the lie, I doe vapour that. KNO. Nay, then, vapours vpon vapours. [Vrsla comes in, with the fcalding-pan. They fight. EDG. NIG. 'Ware the pan, the pan, the pan, shee Io comes with the pan, Gentlemen. bleffe the woman. [Shee falls with it.] God 15 Moo. Mistresse ! VRS. Curfe of hell, that euer I faw these Feinds, oh! I ha'fcalded my leg, my leg, my leg, my leg. I ha'loft a limb in the feruice! run for fome creame and fallad oyle, quickly. Are you vnder-peering, you Baboun? rip off my 20 hofe, an' you be men, men, men. Moo. Runne you for some creame, good mother Ione. I'le looke to your basket. LEA. Beft fit vp i'your chaire, Vrla. Help, Gentle men. 25 KNO. Be of good cheere, Vrs, thou haft hindred me the currying of a couple of Stallions, here, that abus'd the good race-Bawd o'Smithfield; 'twas time for 'hem to goe. NIG. I faith, when the panne came, they had made you 30 runne else. (this had beene a fine time for purchase, if you had ventur'd.) EDG. -money. Not a whit, these fellowes were too fine to carry KNO. Nightingale, get fome helpe to carry her legge 35 out o'the ayre; take off her fhooes; body o'me, she has 13 Tra. 1716, W: Trash. G the Mallanders, the scratches, the crowne scabbe, and the quitter bone, i'the tother legge. VRS. Oh! the poxe, why doe you put me in minde o' my leg, thus, to make it prick, and shoot? would you ha'me i'the Hospitall, afore my time? 5 KNO. Patience, Vrs, take a good heart, 'tis but a blister, as big as a Windgall; I'le take it away with the white of an egge, a little honey, and hogs greafe, ha'thy pafternes well rol'd, and thou fhall't pafe againe by to morrow. I'le tend thy Booth, and looke to thy affaires, the while: 10 thou shalt fit i'thy chaire, and giue directions, and shine Vrfa maior. Hefe are the fruites of bottle-ale, and tabacco! the THefe fome of the one, and the fumes of the other! Stay young man, and defpife not the wifedome of thefe few 15 hayres, that are growne gray in care of thee. EDG. o'this! Nightingale, ftay a little. Indeede I'le heare fome Come, Numps, come, where are you? welcome into the Fayre, Miftris Grace. EDG. S'light, hee will call company, you shall fee, and put vs into doings presently. 20 Ivs. Thirst not after that frothy liquor, Ale: for, who knowes, when hee openeth the stopple, what may be in the bottle? hath not a Snaile, a Spider, yea, a Neuft bin 25 found there? thirst not after it, youth: thirst not after it. COK. This is a braue fellow, Numps, let's heare him. 5 ΙΟ WAS. S'blood, how braue is he? in a garded coate? you were best trucke with him, e'en strip, and trucke prefently, it will become you, why will you heare him, because he is an Affe, and may be a kinnne to the Cokefes? Coк. O, good Numps! Ivs. tabacco. Neither doe thou luft after that tawney weede, COK. Braue words! Ivs. COK. Whose complexion is like the Indians that vents it! Ivs. And who can tell, if, before the gathering, and making vp thereof, the Alligarta hath not piss'd thereon? WAS. 'Heart let 'hem be braue words, as braue as they will! and they were all the braue words in a Countrey, 15 how then? will you away yet? ha'you inough on him ? Miftris Grace, come you away, I pray you, be not you acceffary. If you doe lofe your Licence, or fomewhat else, Sir, with liftning to his fables: fay, Numps, is a witch, with all my heart, doe, say so. 20 COK. Avoyd i'your fattin doublet, Numps. Ivs. The creeping venome of which subtill ferpent, as [29] fome late writers affirme; neither the cutting of the perrillous plant, nor the drying of it, nor the lighting, or burning, can any way perssway or, afswage. 25 30 COK. Good, i'faith! is't not Sister? Ivs. Hence it is, that the lungs of the Tabacconist are rotted, the Liuer spotted, the braine fmoak'd like the backfide of the Pig-womans Booth, here, and the whole body within, blacke, as her Pan, you saw e'en now, without. Сок. A fine fimilitude, that, Sir! did you fee the panne? Yes, Sir. EDG. Ivs. Nay, the hole in the nofe heere, of fome tabaccotakers, or the third noftrill, (if I may fo call it) which makes, that they can vent the tabacco out, like the Ace of 35 clubs, or rather the Flower-de-lice, is caufed from the tabacco, the meere tabacco! when the poore innocent pox, 9 Indian's 1716, W, G 4 a kinnne] a-kin 1692, 1716, W, G hauing nothing to doe there, is miferably, and moft vnconscionably flander'd. COK. Who would ha'mist this, Sifter? COK. What would you haue, Sifter, of a fellow that knowes nothing but a basket-hilt, and an old Fox in't? the best mufique i'the Fayre, will not moue a logge. EDG. fee it told. 5 In, to Vrfla, Nightingale, and carry her comfort: 10 first fairing. Ivs. But what speake I of the diseases of the body, children of the Fayre? Сок. That's to vs, Sifter. Braue i'faith! Ivs. Harke, O, you sonnes and daughters of Smithfield! and heare what mallady it doth the minde: It caufeth fwearing, it caufeth fwaggering, it caufeth fnuffling, and fnarling, and now and then a hurt. 15 OVE. He hath fomething of Mafter Ouerdoo, mee thinkes, 20 brother. Сок. Coк. So. mee thought, Sifter, very much of my brother Ouerdoo: And 'tis, when he speakes. Ivs. Looke into any Angle o'the towne, (the Streights, or the Bermuda's) where the quarrelling lesson is read, and 25 how doe they entertaine the time, but with bottle-ale, and tabacco? The Lecturer is o'one fide, and his Pupils o'the other; But the feconds are still bottle-ale, and tabacco, for which the Lecturer reads, and the Nouices pay. Thirty pound a weeke in bottle-ale! forty in tabacco! and ten 30 more in Ale againe. Then for a fute to drinke in, so much, and (that being flauer'd) so much for another fute, and then a third fute, and a fourth fute! and ftill the bottle-ale flauereth, and the tabacco stinketh! WAS. Heart of a mad-man! are you rooted heere? well 35 you neuer away? what can any man finde out in this bawl- [30] 35 well] Will 1692, 1716, W, G 5 ing fellow, to grow heere for? hee is a full handfull higher, fin'he heard him, will you fix heere? and fet vp a Booth ? Sir? Ivs. I will conclude briefely WAS. Hold your peace, you roaring Rafcall, I'le runne my head i'your chaps elfe. You were best build a Booth, and entertaine him, make your Will, and you say the word, and him your heyre! heart, I neuer knew one taken with a mouth of a pecke, afore. By this light, I'le carry you 10 away o'my backe, and you will not come. [He gets him vp on pick-packe. COK. Stay Numpes, ftay, fet mee downe: I ha'loft my purse, Numps, O my purse! one o'my fine purses is gone. OVER. Is't indeed, brother? COK. I, as I am an honest man, would I were an errant 15 Rogue, elfe! a plague of all roguy, damn'd cut-purses for 20 25 me. WAS. Bleffe 'hem with all my heart, with all my heart, do you fee! Now, as I am no Infidell, that I know of, I am glad on't. I I am, (here's my witneffe!) doe you fee, Sir? I did not tell you of his fables, I? no, no, I am a dull malthorse, I, I know nothing. Are you not iuftly feru'd i'your conscience now? speake i'your conscience. Much good doe you with all my heart, and his good heart that has it, with all my heart againe. EDG. This fellow is very charitable, would he had a purse too! but, I must not be too bold, all at a time, COK. Nay, Numps, it is not my best purse. WAS. Not your best! death! why fhould it be your worft? why should it be any, indeed, at all? answer me to 30 that, gi'mee a reason from you, why it should be any? Cok. Nor my gold, Numps; I ha'that yet, looke heere Сок. elfe, Sifter. 35 WAS. Why fo, there's all the feeling he has! OVER. I pray you, haue a better care of that, brother. COK. Nay, fo I will, I warrant you; let him catch this, that catch can. I would faine fee him get this, looke you heere. |