CHAPTER IX.

SEPARATION.

Marriage defined-Urged to it by passion for reproduction of speciesParents-Children-Of the married in London-Discontented married not peculiar to large cities-Paris as to this-Causes of illicit connections -Divorce for all good causes-For disagreement, and personal dislike -No force-Issue-Definitions of wife and husband-Marriage not a religious ordinance-The Athenian law as to marriage-Disaffinities may be affinities on a change-All prefer marriage-Relief in law for every dilemma but marriage-Public opinion-Arabs-Indians-Ishmael and Isaac-Widows-Washington-Napoleon-Present system.

MARRIAGE is defined to be "a compact between man and woman, for the procreation and education of children.”

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Society has ordained that it shall continue for life; and the reason is, because, children gradually succeeding one another, the parents have hardly done with the care of their education, before they are themselves unfit for a second marriage." The ancients awarded bounties to parents, and deprived bachelors of the rights of inheritance.

The same author says, "With us, the laws hold out no temptations to marriage; and prudence will in general recommend celibacy."-(2 Bac. Ab. 524.)

This theory is sustained by all writers; and appears to be the philosophy of marriage.

The primary temporal purpose of man's creation, therefore, was for the reproduction of his species.

To this great end the woman is most distinctly and intimately dedicated. The impetuous passions of our common nature incite reciprocal irritations, by which the sexes are precipitated together.

The secret design of nature in this is procreation; and to secure this result with the best advantage, and with no expense to society, it has ordained marriage; so that the parties, and not society, shall be responsible for the bringing forth and bringing up of children. The great object of propagation is, in this way,

accomplished by individual enterprise, without any trouble or expense to society.

This is not a very encouraging revelation to make to a young man, just starting upon his arduous destiny; nor a very flattering compliment to an old man, after he is worn out in the bringing forth and bringing up slavery.

But it seems to be literally true; and it is not wonderful that an old man, broken down with servitude, in the anxious drudgery of nature and society, should have murmured out to his fellow-men this prudent admonition for celibacy.

We are urged by passion to marriage; and instinctively struggle through the anxious task with superhuman endurance and suffering.

We are held, by the crafty purposes of nature, in blind and thrilling raptures of animal excitement, until its object is accomplished, and then it condemns us to the apathy of old age.

In this heyday of impetuous passion, there is less sentimental purity than vanity and pride.

The same trick and guile, by which nature makes the wolf bring forth, defend, and protect her cubs, prompt man and woman to feed and cherish their offspring.

All these affections are artfully contrived, for the purposes of successful propagation. They are elements of philosophy, not of morals. Parents have much less control over their children than is supposed; and too much is expected from what is called a good bringing up.

If the blood and breed are perverse and bad, there will be more apparent than real efforts made for restraint.

Men and women, who feel it a matter of policy to support respectable exteriors, go to church, and send their children to school; instil into their minds no sentiments of virtue, if they have none themselves; and hence their children come to nothing, and are censured for neglecting opportunities they never had, or could appreciate.

These, and similar examples, infect well-inclined children, who are a constant source of anxiety at home.

Many honorable and devoted fathers are baffled by the refractory dispositions of their children, who insult them by referring to out-door examples as authority for disobedience and insubordination.

And they are too often frustrated, by the never-failing propensity of a weak and infatuated mother to excuse and justify

their faults, and who never joins in their constraint and punishment.

How surprisingly this propensity in woman develops the mysterious design of her succedaneous creation! How many old and worn-down fathers have slaved and dragged their lives away, in toil and self-denial, to give their sons and daughters smart and encouraging portions, in land and stock, wherewith to start the world; and fastened, safe and sound for life, sure maintenance for their helpless wives and offspring; and afterwards ruined themselves by being surety for their children; or have sent help and succor for them to a distant land; and watched and doted on them to the last, as first they loved and fondled over them in helpless infancy!

How many parents, meek, devoted, patient, and self-resigned, have thus by nature's instincts lived, and final respite had from all their toils and pains by death in dismal pauperism, unheeded and forgotten!

What son or daughter ever made a joyful sacrifice for those that gave them life? or died in infamy, within a living parent's reach?

This is the high and mighty course of nature—the arbitrary law for constant fecundation.

The last-begotten blindly blunders on his doom, and flings behind him far away, by instinct, not from choice, parental love, which stands aghast.

Until the sear and yellow leaf of time has fallen upon their narrow path, they do not learn that nature has ordained their children for their destiny; and that the infinite emergencies of its execution leave no room for those behind.

Alas for the faithful father and mother, whose lives have been, with singleness of love, piously and devoutly devoted to the protection and companionship of their beloved babes! They will find them, as maturity dawns, reserved, unkind, truant, rebellious, and, at last, scattered and gone, without regret, gratitude, or remembrance.

Oh! it is then a lonely time of night-very dark, and bitter cold! Still, it is nature's sentence; if cruel, there is mercy in the judgment; for life is now wasted, and sorrow hushes down the bursting heart, and gently lays it in the grave.

Why then should the bonds of matrimony, designed for indulgent love and harmony, be perverted to purposes of discord and rude restraint? If society has contrived this sanction for

its own security, it should not hold the sway for oppression. The practical barbarity of this unmeaning denial of justice cannot be disputed. A recent report of a committee of the English Commons showed that but one-fourth of the married persons in London lived in peace; that one-fourth were in constant turmoil; that one-fourth did not cohabit; and the other fourth were separated, and lived apart. This, perhaps, is a sample of the married world.

The moral contumacy thus exposed cannot be exclusively attributed to the supposed licentiousness of large towns and cities; on the contrary, there were 12,707 public women registered in Paris, from 1816 to 1831, a period of fifteen years; of whom 12,201 were French; and of this number 11,875, all but 326, were from the country parts of France; the proportion being almost four to one against the rural districts, and in favor of the capital.

To be sure the whole population of France is greater than the population of Paris; but only a small portion of these women came from the country; whereas, perhaps, none of them who belonged to Paris had gone from it.

The immense proportion of men and women, married and single, found in this condition, no doubt mainly comes from the vile and unnatural celibacy which the fear of public odium forces on those who cannot live in concord; who have no legal means of shaking loose from abortive matrimonies; and are therefore tempted, and led off into unlawful indulgences.

Is it not wonderful that there is a remnant left of chastity? and is it strange that in some places the illegitimate exceed the legitimate births, and that licentious debauchery does not defile and pollute all the channels of society?

Why not give by law the free and honorable remedy for full and absolute divorce, wherever incongruities prevail? To limit this remedy, by its present restrictions, to certain named crimes, places the innocent in the power of the guilty, who may conceal their infidelities by the plausible disguise of genteel intercourse; defy, insult, and condemn a wife or husband to perpetual abstinence.

Evidence of flirting with other women, neglect, aversion, conjugal denial or unfitness, drunkenness, rudeness, gambling, refusal or omission to provide, laziness and loafing, morbid virility, sterility, and every such default, whether from accident,

casualty, malice, or repugnance, should be a full and sufficient cause for divorce for a woman.

And proof of aversion, neglect, infidelity, sterility, drunkenness, conjugal denial, Messalinaism, disobedience, impertinent talking back, insolent behavior, obscenity, being from home and flirting, tramping the streets without leave, by a woman, should in like manner be good cause for a divorce.

The result would be to maintain conjugal propriety, and give millions of honest and valuable members of society a chance to rid themselves of the curse of involuntary celibacy; more odious than any calamity which has ever fallen on the human race.

The idea of forcing husband and wife, against their will, to live together, and rear children, is beastly, unnatural, and impracticable.

Discoveries, creating occasions for separation, seldom occur, until after the birth of one or more children.

This is most unnecessarily made an excuse for public opinion to force upon them the endurance and continuance of disaffection; which must increase, and never is diminished by time; and which therefore turns the existence of the child into a state of wretchedness, moral and physical.

The early months of infancy demand a mother's care. Let it remain with her during this period, if proper; and after this, male or female, the child is better off with strangers than at home with strife.

If it is poor, it should be placed with an industrious mechanic or farmer; where it will be, nine times out of ten, better fed and brought up than if at such a home.

If it is to be educated, every one knows how much better the restraints and discipline of a school are than the superficial oversight of quarrelsome parents.

Cut quick this chafing rope; knock loose the galling fetters; and strike for glorious liberty. Go it Frank!

Out upon vile bondage for a man or a woman! It is base. If they are glad in unity, the chains are gold; the silken cords are heavenly slavery, mutual joy, and glorious love.

But if there is hate and loathing, to hold them fast, or let one hold the other tight for life, is revolting, detestable, and unnatural.

The objects of matrimony are clearly defeated by these unfair, unjust, and useless restrictions upon marriage.