afternoon much against my will; and besides, that I think I never was in so languid a frame as to religion. I have hardly enjoyed any thing of God, either in secret or the family, during the preceding week; my soul might, if ever, be said to cleave to the dust. Some of the time which I should this morning have spent in meditation, and this afternoon in prayer, I spent in sleep; and this from a real persuasion, that in the state of animal nature, from which I suffered, it was the best way I could employ my time. Yet it pleased God to give me some wonderful enlargement at the table of the Lord from those words, "we are no more strangers and foreigners.”—The state in which Christians are, and the manner in which they came into it, furnished matter of much sweet meditation. We are of God's household: witness our sitting at his table; how honourable and how happy a condition! blessed to be servants ; but we are children; fellow-citizens with the saints; enrolled in the catalogue of those who belong to the New Jerusalem. What if diseases and devils were subject to us, it were not such matter of joy, as that our names should be written in heaven. How pleasant to think that we are brought into God's family, whereas once strangers. It is by Christ we have access to him—by his blood. This shows at what a dreadful distance we were. This gives us cause to rejoice in our present privileges with trembling. It is a privilege purchased by the blood of his own Son: the agency of the Spirit was also concerned. There was a certain dress in which we were to be introduced; not merely a habit of ceremony, but one necessary to our own case and happiness. The Spirit's interposition was necessary. I then mentioned the circumstances of Christ's blood being shed for many; for all the pious dead. Let us rejoice and congratulate each other it was also for us, for many unborn. O blessed society! rejoice and bless God for each; for all that have been, and that shall be. It was quite astonishing and

very delightful to me, that so dark a morning should end in so bright an evening. Nor did I find animal nature fatigued; but rather on the whole refreshed by the labours of the day.

MEMORANDUMS RELATING TO JUNE 2, 1750, A DAY SPENT IN SOLEMN FASTING AND PRAYER.

BEING much affected with many things I have lately read in the journal of that faithful and zealous servant of Christ, Mr. David Brainerd, and observing particularly that he abounded much more than most men of his day in the duty of secret fasting and prayer, I determined, by the divine assistance, to attempt the exercise of the former long neglected duty. I fixed upon this day for that purpose, and in my secret retirements intreated the divine assistance in the prosecution of the design; that I might have the more time to command in the forenoon, I delivered a devotional lecture in the family before breakfast time on those words, draw near to God and he will draw near to you, and I had some enlargement of heart and tender touches in the prosecution of that duty, though not the greatest readiness and liberty of expression. Then, after a very slender breakfast, which I thought might prevent my being unfit for duty, I retired to the vestry, but finding some people at work in the meeting, I walked out and meditated and prepared further materials. I returned to my retirement in the vestry quickly after eleven, when I solemnly endeavoured to prepare my soul, and had a most cheerful hope that it would be a blessed opportunity. I spent a quarter of an hour in earnestly imploring the divine assistance; then for more than half an hour I reviewed my late conduct, and struggled hard to humble myself deeply before God, which, blessed be his name, I did. I reviewed also the dealings of God with my soul. For three quarters of an hour more, that is, until past one, I confessed my sins before God, and earnestly

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desired the warmer exercises of divine love. Then for about twenty minutes I renewed, with great sincerity, the entire surrender of myself to God, and thought, with unutterable delight, on the counterpart of the covenant, that he is my God, and resolved in his strength, rather to die, than to deal unfaithfully with him; neither life nor heaven appeared desirable, but as for his sake, and as to serve him and enjoy his presence; I felt great fervour and delightful outgoings of soul after God; I read hymns and passages of Scripture, especially the end of Romans viii. I then spent about half an hour in praying for temporal and spiritual blessings on myself; and a whole hour in earnest intercession for my dear flock, and for each of my pupils, and children, and select friends by name; I especially intreated that God would do me the honour to accept my son as a minister, and inspire him with a desire after that office. I also interceded with growing fervour for the propagation of the gospel abroad, and the advancement of it in my own country. I spread the affair of my journey before God, and intreated his protection and assistance, especially in carrying on my design for the promoting missionaries, and the education of young ministers, and lads intended for that office. About a quarter of an hour more was spent in projecting some further schemes for the divine honour; when I thought of visiting some heads of families to inquire as to the success of my Letter on Family Prayer, and the Letter to Count Zinzindorf, which, with the Sermon on Candour, I recommended to the Divine blessing. A storm of thunder then arising, I had some sweet views in reading the twenty-ninth psalm; and I then set myself to a solemn act of thanksgiving, with which I concluded these acts of retired devotions about a quarter before four. And I must record it to the honour of divine grace, that I never enjoyed more of God within the compass of five hours that I can remember in my whole life. Oh, how wanting

have I been to myself, that I have no more sought such feasts as these. The violent thunder and rain detained me in some thing of an uneasy waiting for above half an hour after my plan was finished, and kept me in such a situation, that the devotions with which my mind was then entertained were very much interrupted. And afterwards I found that cares lay in ambush for me at home, from which I had great reason to rejoice that I had so long escaped.

MEDITATIONS ATTENDING THE SACRAMENT, JUNE 3, 1750. THE effects of those humble supplications I was yesterday presenting were, indeed, powerfully felt this day, which was one of the most blessed days of my whole life: it was a circle of sacred joy from morning till evening. At the Lord's table I discoursed on the feast of fat things, &c. I bore testimony to God, that he has made this holy feast. Is it not sweet? Even thus to remember God on this side heaven. Oh this wine of the new covenant! How well refined! These sacred pleasures are pure indeed: and God made this feast for all nations. For heathens as well as Jews—and thus we of the Gentiles are brought into it. Oh, that it may be every where spread, and every where frequented. God has taken off the veil of sin from our faces in some measure- -once all was darkness; now there is light. Oh may he take it off yet more completely. Go on, my soul, to contemplate the day when God will swallow up Death in victory: no trace of it shall then be seen, and God will then wipe away all tears.* Then the rebuke shall cease, and scorn shall be no more. The Lord has spoken it. Let us anticipate. Let us say with dying Mr. Sanderson, This is our God, we have waited for him. Oh, had it been longer, it had been worth our while,

*“This one scripture bore up a dying friend, that was Mr. Hopkins, through more than three tedious months of confinement on a dying bed.” This note is written on the margin of the MS.

for he will save us. What reason have we to be glad, if he will rejoice. He feasts us here, and that is but an earnest of our eating bread in the kingdom of God. Ordinances shall soon be superseded, and we shall drink no more of the fruit of this vine! At the collection, I said: You shall witness for me before God, that I have not taught you a religion consistent with the neglect of doing good.

MEMORANDUMS RELATING TO SEPTEMBER 1, 1750, A DAY SPENT AT THE VESTRY IN SECRET FASTING, HUMILIATION, AND PRAYER.

I HAD long expected and wished for this day, in the humble hopes that it might be a good day to my soul. I laboured an hour in secret in preparing my heart, though with too little sensible success. I then spent more than another hour in family prayer, and a discourse from the concluding words in Ecclesiastes, to my young people, in all of which I was sincere, but had very little holy enlargement. It was half an hour past ten before I could get to the vestry, being obliged to go round for the key, and when I began I found my thoughts too much dissipated. I laboured pretty much with my heart to get it in a proper frame; then I intreated divine assistance suitable to the plan. In humbling myself before God, I renewed my covenant, and committed my affairs, public and private, to him, and formed schemes for his service. This employed about twenty minutes. Then for about thirty minutes more I humbled myself before God, confessing my sins, mourning over them, owning my demerit, but felt too little of the divine purity, or of my own wretchedness, nor could I shed a tear. I particularly called to mind the sins of my journey-indevotion, neglect of scripture, sensuality, barrenness, aggravated by the extraordinary mercies of it; of which see afterwards. But about this time my