Stockjobbing, this, to Jonathan's shall come,
At the Groom Porter's, that play off his plum.
PHIL. But what to me does all that love avail,
If, while I dose at home o'er porter's ale,
Each night with wine and wenches you regale?
My livelong hours in anxious cares are past,
And raging hunger lays my beauty waste.
On templars spruce in vain I glances throw,
And with shrill voice invite them as they go.
Expos'd in vain my glossy ribbands shine,
And unregarded wave upon the twine.

The week flies round; and when my profit's known,
I hardly clear enough to change a crown.

COR. Hard fate of virtue, thus to be distrest, Thou fairest of thy trade, and far the best; As fruitmen's stalls the summer market grace, And ruddy peaches them; as first in place Plumcake is seen o'er smaller pastry ware, And ice on that; so Phillis does appear In playhouse and in park, above the rest Of belles mechanic, elegantly drest.

PHIL. And yet Crepundia, that conceited fair, Amid her toys, affects a saucy air,

And views me hourly with a scornful eye.
COR. She might as well with bright Cleora vie.
PHIL. With this large petticoat I strive in vain
To hide my folly past, and coming pain;
'Tis now no secret; she, and fifty more,
Observe the symptons I had once before:
A second babe at Wapping must be plac'd,
When I scarce bear the charges of the last.
COR. What I could raise I sent; a pound of
plums,

Five shillings, and a coral for his gums;

To-morrow I intend him something more.
PHIL. I sent a frock and pair of shoes before.
COR. However, you shall home with me to night,
Forget your cares, and revel in delight.

I have in store a pint or two of wine,
Some cracknels, and the remnant of a chine.
And now on either side, and all around,
The weighty shopboards fall, and bars resound;
Each ready semstress slips her pattins on,
And ties her hood, preparing to be gone,

L. B. W. H. J. S. S. T.

EPITAPH,

INSCRIBED ON A MARELE TABLET, IN BERKELEY
CHURCH, GLOUCESTERSHIRE.

H. S E.

CAROLUS Comes de BERKELEY, Vicecomes DURSLEY,
Baro BERKELEY, de Berkeley Cast., MOWBRAY, SEGRAVE,
Et BRUCE, è nobilissimo Ordine Balnei Eques,
Vir ad genus quod spectat et proavos usquequaque nobilis,
Et longo si quis alius procerum stemmate editus ;
Muniis et am tam illustri stirpi dignis insignitus.
Siquidem a GULIELMO III ad ordines fœderati Belgii
Ablegatus et Plenipotentiarus Extraordinarius
Rebus, non Britanniæ tantùm, sed totius fere Europæ
(Tunc temporis præsertim arduis) per annos V. incubuit,
Quam felici diligentiâ, fide quam intemerata,
Ex illo discas, Lector, quod, superstite patre,
In magnatum ordinem adscisci meruerit.

Fuit à sanctioribus consiliis et Regi GULIEL. et ANNE Reginæ,
E proregibus Hibernia secundus,

Comitatum civitatumque Glocest. et Brist. Dominus Locumtenens, Surrie et Glocest. Custos Rot., Urbis Glocest. magnus Senescallus, Arcis sancti de Briavell Castellanus,

VOL. XVI.

H

Guardianus

Guardianus Forestæ de Dean.

Denique ad Turcarum primum, deinde ad Roman. Imperatorem
Cum Legatus Extraordinarius designatus esset,
Quo minus has etiam ornaret provincias

Obstitit adversa corporis valetudo.

Sed restat adhuc, præ quo sordescunt cætera,
Honos verus, stabilis, et vel morti cedere nescius,
Quòd veritatem evangelicam seriò amplexus;
Erga Deum pius, erga pauperes munificus,
Adversùs omnes æquus et benevolus,
In Christo jam placidè obdormit
Cum eodem olim regnaturus unà.
Natus VIII April. MDCXLIX. denatus
XXIV Septem. MDCCX. ætat. suæ LXII.

LINES WRITTEN EXTEMPORE ON MR. HARLEY'S

BEING STABBED, AND ADDRESSED TO HIS PHYSICIAN. 1710-11.

ON Britain Europe's safety lies;

Britain is left if Harley dies:

Harley depends upon your skill:
Think what you save, or what you kill.*

AN EXCELLENT NEW SONG.

BEING THE INTENDED SPEECH OF

A FAMOUS ORATOR AGAINST PEACE.† 1711. AN Orator dismal of Nottinghamshire, Who has forty years let out his conscience to hire, Out

* "I told lord treasurer of four lines I writ extempore, with my pencil, on a bit of paper in his house, while he lay wounded. Some of the servants, I suppose, made waste paper of them ; and he never heard of them." Journal to Stella, Feb. 19, 1711-12, N.

"Lord Nottingham, a famous tory and speech maker, is gone

Out of zeal for his country, and want of a place,
Is come up, vi et armis, to break the queen's peace.
He has vamp'd an old speech, and the court, to
their sorrow,

Shall hear him harangue against Prior to-morrow.
When once he begins, he never will flinch,
But repeats the same note a whole day like a Finch.
I have heard all the speech repeated by Hoppy,
And, "Mistakes, to prevent, I've obtained a copy.'

THE SPEECH.

WHEREAS, notwithstanding I am in great pain, To hear we are making a peace without Spain; But, most noble senators, 'tis a great shame, There should be a peace, while I'm Not-in-game. The duke show'd me all his fine house; and the duchess

From her closet brought out a full purse in her clutches :

I talk'd of a peace, and they both gave a start, His grace swore by G-d, and her grace let a f-t: My long old-fashion'd pocket was presently cramm'd;

And sooner than vote for a peace I'll be damn'd.

over to the whig side. They toast him daily, and lord Wharton says' It is Dismal (so they call him from his looks) will save England at last.' Lord treasurer was hinting as if he wished a ballad was made on him, and I will get up one against to-morrow." Journal to Stella, Dec. 5, 1711.-"I was this morning making the ballad, two degrees above Grub-street. Then dined with our society. The printer came before we parted, and brought the ballad, which made them laugh very heartily a dozen times." Ibid. Dec. 6. N.

But some will cry Turncoat, and rip up old

stories,

How I always pretended to be for the tories:
I answer; the tories were in my good graces,
Till all my relations were put into places.
But still I'm in principle ever the same,
And will quit my best friends, while I'm Not-in-game.
When I and some others subscribed our names
To a plot for expelling my master king James,
I withdrew my subscription by help of a blot,
And so might discover or gain by the plot:
I had my advantage and stood at defiance,
For Daniel was got from the den of the lions:
I came in without danger, and was I to blame ?
For, rather than hang, I would be Not-in-gume.

I swore to the queen, that the prince of Hanover
During her sacred life would never come over:
I made use of a trope; that " an heir to invite,
Was like keeping her monument always in

But, when I thought proper I alter'd my note;
And in her own hearing I boldly did vote,
That her majesty stood in great need of a tutor,
And must have an old or a young coadjutor:
For why; I would fain have put all in a flame,
Because, for some reasons I was Not-in-game.

Now my new benefactors have brought me about, And I'll vote against peace, with Spain or without: Though the court gives my nephews, and brothers, and cousins,

And all my whole family places by dozens;
Yet, since I know where a full purse may be found,
And hardly pay eighteen pence tax in the pound:

Since