The sexton shall green sods on thee bestow; Alas, the sexton is thy banker now!

A dismal banker must that banker be,
Who gives no bills but of mortality!

EPITAPH ON THE SAME.

BENEATH this verdant hilloc lies
Demar the wealthy and the wise,
His heirs, that he might safely rest,
Have put his carcase in a chest ;
The very chest, in which, they say,
His other self, his money, lay.
And, if his heirs continue kind
To that dear self he left behind,
I dare believe, that four in five
Will think his better half alive.

YOU always are making a God of your Spouse;

But this neither Reason nor Conscience allows :
Perhaps you will say, 'tis in gratitude due,
And you adore him, because he adores you.
Your argument's weak, and so you will find;
For you, by this rule, must adore all mankind.

VERSES, WRITTEN ON A WINDOW,

AT THE DEANERY HOUSE, ST. PATRICK'S.

ARE the guests of this house still doom'd to be

cheated?

Sure the Fates have decreed they by halves should be treated.

In the days of good John,* if you came here to dine, You had choice of good meat, but no choice of good wine.

In Jonathan's reign, if you came here to eat, You have choice of good wine, but no choice of good meat.

O Jove! then how fully might all sides be blest, Would'st thou but agree to this humble request! Put both deans in one; or, if that's too much trouble,

Instead of the deans, make the deanery double.

ON ANOTHER WINDOW.†

A BARD, on whom Phoebus his spirit bestow'd, Resolving t' acknowledge the bounty he ow'd, Found out a new method at once of confessing, And making the most of so mighty a blessing: To the God he'd be grateful; but mortals he'd chouse, By making his patron preside in his house;

* Dr. Sterne, the predecessor of Swift in the deanery of St. Patrick's, and afterward bishop of Clogher, was distinguished for his hospitality. F.

†These lines were written by Dr. Delany, in conjunction with Stella, and preceded those which here follow them. N.

And

And wisely foresaw this advantage from thence, That the God would in honour bear most of th' expense:

So the bard he finds drink, and leaves Phoebus to

treat

With the thoughts he inspires, regardless of meat. Hence they that come hither expecting to‘dine, Are always fobb'd off with sheer wit and sheer wine.

APOLLO TO THE DEAN. 1720.*

RIGHT trusty, and so forth- we let you to

know

We are very ill us'd by you mortals below.
For, first, I have often by chemists been told,
Though I know nothing on't, it is I that make gold;
Which when you have got, you so carefully hide it,
That, since I was born, I hardly have spy'd it.
Then it must be allow'd, that, whenever I shine,
I forward the grass, and I ripen the vine;
To me the good fellows apply for relief,

Without whom they could get neither claret nor

beef:

Yet their wine and their victuals those curmudgeon lubbards

Lock up from my sight in cellars and cupboards. That I have an ill eye, they wickedly think,

And taint all their meat and sour all their drink. But, thirdly and lastly, it must be allow 'd,

I alone can inspire the poetical crowd :

* See the following poem occasioned by this, called "News from Parnassus," writen by Dr. Delany. N.

This is gratefully own'd by each boy in the college, Whom if I inspire, it is not to my knowledge. This every pretender to rhyme will admit, Without troubling his head about judgment or

wit.

These gentlemen use me with kindness and freedom, And as for their works, when I please I may read 'em.

They lie open on purpose on counters and stalls,
And the titles I view, when I shine on the walls.
But a comrade of yours, that traitor Delany,
Whom I for your sake love better than any,
And, of my mere motion and special good grace,
Intended in time to succeed in your place,
On Tuesday the tenth seditiously came
With a certain false traitress, one Stella by name,
To the deanery house, and on the north glass,
Where for fear of the cold I never can pass,
Then and there, vi & armis, with a certain utensil,
Of value five shillings, in English a pencil,
Did maliciously, falsely, and traitorously write,
While Stella aforesaid stood by with a light.
My sister had lately depos'd upon oath,
That she stopt in her course to look at them both;
That Stella was helping, abetting and aiding;
And still, as he writ, stood smiling and reading:
That her eyes were as bright as myself at noonday,
But her graceful black locks were all mingled
with gray:

And by the description I certainly know,
'Tis the nymph that I courted some ten years ago;
Whom when I with the best of my talents endued
On her promise of yielding, she acted the prude;

That

That some verses were writ with felonious intent, Direct to the north, where I never yet went : That the letters appear'd revers'd through the pane, But in Stella's bright eyes they were plac'd right

again:

Wherein she distinctly could read every line,
And presently guess'd that the fancy was mine.
She can swear to the person, whom oft she has seen
At night between Cavan-street and College-green.
Now you see why his verses so seldom are shown;
The reason is plain, they are none of his own :
And observe while you live, that no man is shy
To discover the goods he came honestly by.
If I light on a thought, he will certainly steal it,
And when he has got it, find ways to conceal it :
Of all the fine things he keeps in the dark,
There's scarce one in ten but what has my mark;
And let them be seen by the world if he dare,
I'll make it appear that they're all stolen ware.
But as for the poem he writ on your sash,
I think I have now got him under my lash;
My sister transcrib'd it last night to his sorrow,
And the public shall see it, if I live till tomorrow.
Through the zodiac around, it shall quickly be
spread

In all parts of the globe where your language is read.

He knows very well, I ne'er gave a refusal,

When he ask'd for my aid in the forms that are usual:

But the secret is this; I did lately intend
To write a few verses on you as my friend:
I studied a fortnight, before I could find,
As I rode in my chariot, a thought to my mind,

P 4

And