This is a very important matter, for you see, my child, that humility which makes least show is the truest. Meanwhile, as to exterior things, I would have you correct yourself of the habit of speaking haughtily and sharply, which is most unbecoming to one professing religion.

Never mind these impatient angry feelings, so long as you crush them as they arise, striving to recover calmness and peace of mind. While you do this it will be practice in holiness, not any hindrance to you, even if the strife lasted all through the day. Be of good cheer, my daughter; I see plainly that the Lord will draw you to Himself as His Own.

[731]

CXIX.

MADEMOISELLE,

TO A YOUNG LADY

I received your letter some little time ago, and rejoice in it as a proof of your confidence in my affection, of which, indeed, you have no cause to doubt. I am only sorry that I am so little able to answer your questions concerning your prayers; but I know that you are in a place and in the company of those who can give all you want; still, I cannot altogether refuse to say what little I may.

The anxiety you speak of as disturbing your medi

tation, and the eagerness you indulge in seeking somewhat whereon to fix and satisfy your mind, is alone sufficient to hinder you in finding what you want. We pass over the thing we are seeking a hundred times when we seek it too eagerly. Nothing can come of such useless hurry and restlessness, save weariness of spirit; and hence the coldness and languor of your soul. I do not know what remedies you should employ; but I think that if you can conquer this eagerness you will have gained a great step, for it is one of the worst traitors we have to deal with in devotion and true holiness. It pretends to kindle us, while, in fact, it chills our life, and it makes us run merely that we may stumble. Eagerness and hurry must be perpetually guarded against, above all in prayer.

To help you in doing this, remember that the graces and gifts of prayer are not streams of earthly water, but come from Heaven; and all our unassisted efforts are incapable of winning them, although we ought to make ready in all humility and meekness to receive them. It is our part to keep our hearts open to Heaven's Grace, ready for the outpouring of celestial dew. Never forget, when you begin to pray, that you are entering God's Presence, for two main reasons : first, to pay Him the honour and homage due to Him; which may be rendered without the utterance of a word on either side. It lies mainly in a silent acknow

ledgment that He is our God, and we His worthless creatures; and in placing ourselves before Him in an attitude of humble waiting upon His Will. How many courtiers are there who appear continually before the King, without expecting to speak to him or to be spoken to by him, all their object being that he may see them, and that they may testify the devotion with which they seek to serve him. And, in like manner, it is a very good and holy and pure object with which to present ourselves before God, when we do so merely to set forth our gratitude and our will to render Him a devoted service.

The second reason which takes us into God's Presence is, that we may talk with Him, and hear Him speaking within our hearts by His Gracious Inspirations. This is usually a most intense enjoyment; it is a great privilege to speak familiarly with our Dear Lord, and when He speaks to us He sheds an abundance of His precious balm and sweetness upon the soul.

Now, my dear child, there must be one or other of these graces in your prayer. If we are able to speak to our Lord, let us do so,-let us praise, pray, and hearken; if our utterance is hindered, let us, nevertheless, remain bowed down before Him; He will behold us, He will accept our patient waiting, and look graciously upon our silence; it may be He will

amaze us by leading us by the hand and bringing us into His realm of prayer; but if He never did this, let us rest satisfied to be among His followers, confessing that it is a greater grace and privilege than we deserve that He should suffer us even to remain in His Presence.

So doing we shall not be restless and eager to speak with Him, knowing that to be silent before Him may be as useful, nay more so, to our souls, although it is less to our liking. When, therefore, you come before the Lord, speak to Him if you can ;—if you cannot, remain quietly in His Sight, and do not disturb yourself because you can do no more. This is my advice ;-I do not know if it will help you, but I am content to think that you are within reach of many much better counsellors than I am. As to your fear lest you should lose the desire to become a Carmelite, during the long period of waiting imposed on you by your father, say to God, "Lord, all my desire is before Thee,” and leave the rest to Him. He will guide your father's heart and turn it to His own Glory and your good. Meanwhile continue to cherish your good desire, and keep it alive beneath the embers of humility and resignation to God's Will.

You ask my prayers,-be sure they shall not be wanting to you; I will not forget you, especially at Holy Mass, and I trust to your charity likewise to remember me in your prayers.

[734.7

MADEMOISELLE,

CXX.

TO A YOUNG LADY.

You must resign yourself entirely under our Dear Lord's Hand, and be sure that when you have done what little you can to carry out your good intentions, He will accept that little favourably. In a word, be very brave in striving to become a Religious, since God gives you so earnest a desire thereto; but if after all your efforts you cannot succeed, be sure that you cannot please our Lord better than by sacrificing your will to His, and awaiting His Good Pleasure in calm trust and humility. And His Will and Pleasure will be clearly recognised in your disappointment if, after all rightful efforts, you cannot attain your wish. Our Dear Lord sometimes tests our stedfastness and love by depriving us of things which we esteem necessary, and which may be highly profitable to our souls. If He sees that, while ardent in pursuit of our desire, we are nevertheless humble, calm, and resigned to forego the object of our aspirations, He will give us greater blessings in the room of that which He withholds. Everywhere and in everything God accepts those who can say heartily and unreservedly, "Thy Will be done."