Page images
PDF
EPUB

Among the Inclosures in the foregoing Letter was the following "Unanswerable Argument against the Papists."

[blocks in formation]

*

We're told the ancient Roman nation
Made use of spittle in lustration.
(Vide Lactantium ap. Gallæum-f
v. e. you need not read but see 'em)
Now, Irish Papists (fact surprizing !)
Make use of spittle in baptizing,

Which proves them all, O'FINNS, O'FAGANS,
CONNORS, and TooLES, all downright Pagans !
This fact's enough-let no one tell us
To free such sad, salivous fellows-
No-no-the man, baptiz'd with spittle,
Hath no truth in him not a tittle!

[ocr errors][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small][merged small]

My dear Lady- -! I've been just sending out About five hundred cards for a snug little

Rout

*

Expiat.

lustralibus antè salivis

Pers. Sat. 2.

I have taken the trouble of examining the Doctor's reference here, and find him, for once correct. The following are the words of his indignant referee Galiæus Asserere non veremur sacrum baptismum a Papistis profanari, et sputi usum in peccatorum ex. expiatione a Paganis non a Christianis manasse."

(By the bye, you've seen ROKEBY?-this moment got mine

The Mail Coach Edition*-prodigiously fine!)

But I can't conceive how, in this very cold weather,

I'm ever to bring my five hundred together; As, unless the thermometer's near boiling heat, One can never get half of one's hundreds to meet

(Apropos—you'd have laugh'd to see TownSEND last night,

Escort to their chairs, with his staff so polite, The "three maiden Miseries," all in a fright! Poor TOWNSEND, like MERCURY, filling two posts,

Supervisor of thieves, and chief-usher of ghosts!

But, my dear Lady· ! can't you hit on some notion,

At least for one night to set London in motion?

As to having the R-G-NT-that show is gone

by

Besides, I've remark'd that (between you and I) The MARCHESA and he, inconvenient in more

ways,

Have taken much lately to whispering in door

ways;

Which-considering, you know, dear, the size. of the two

* See Mr. Murray's Advertisement about the Mail Coach copies of Rokeby.

Makes a block that one's company cannot get

though,

And a house such as mine is, with door-ways so small,

Has no room for such cumbersome love-work at all!

(Apropos, though of love-work-you've heard I hope,

That NAPOLEON's old Mother's to marry the POPE,

What a comical pair!) but, to stick to my

Rout,

'Twill be hard if some novelty can't be struck

out.

Is there no ALGERINE, no KAMCHATKAN arriv'd?

No Plenipo PACHA, three-tail'd and ten-wiv'd? No RUSSIAN, whose dissonant consonant name Almost rattles to fragments the trumpet of fame ?

I remember the time, three or four winters back,

When-provided their wigs were but decently black

A few Patriot monsters, from SPAIN, were a sight

That would people one's house for one, night after night.

But-whether the Ministers paw'd them too

much

(And you know how they spoil whatsoever they touch)

Or, whether Lord G-RGE (the young man about town)

Has, by dint of bad poetry, written them down

One has certainly lost one's peninsular rage, And the only stray Patriot seen for an age Has been at such places (think, how the fit cools)

As old Mrs. VN's or Lord L-v-RP—L's!

But, in short, my dear, names like WINTZ

TSC HITSTOPSCHINZOUDHOFF

Are the only things now make an ev'ning go smooth off

So, get me a Russian-till death I'm your debtor

If he brings the whole Alphabet, so much the better:

And-Lord! if he would but, in character sup Off his fish-oil and candles, he'd quite set me up!

haste

An revoir, my sweet girl-I must leave you in [to taste. Little GUNTER has brought me the Liqueurs

POSTSCRIPT.

By the bye, have you found any friend that can construe

That Latin account, t'other day, of a Monster ?*

*Alluding, I suppose, to the Latin Advertisement of a Lusus Nature in the Newspapers lately.

If we can't get a Russian, and that thing in

Latin

Be not too improper, I think I'll bring that in,

LETTER VI.

FROM ABDALLAH,* IN LONDON, TO MOHASSAN,

IN ISPAHAN.

WHILST thou, MOHASSAN, (happy thou!)
Dost daily bend thy loyal brow

Before our King-our Asia's treasure!
Nutmeg of Comfort! Rose of Pleasure!
And bear'st as many kicks and bruises
As the said Rose and Nutmeg chooses;
Thy head still near the bowstring's borders,
And but left on till further orders!
Through London streets, with turban fair,
And caftan, floating to the air,
I saunter on-the admiration
Of this short-coated population;

This sew'd-up race-this button'd nation,
Who, while they boast their laws so free,
Leave not one limb at liberty,

But live, with all their lordly speeches,

man,

* I have made inquiries about this Persian Gentlebut cannot satisfactorily ascertain who he is. From his notions of Religious Liberty, however, I conclude that he is an importation of Ministers; and he is arrived just in time to assist the P-e and Mr. L-ck-e in their new Oriental Plan of Reform.-See the second of these Letters.-How Abdallah's epistle to Ispahan found its way into the Twopenny Post-Bag is more than I can protend to account for.

« PreviousContinue »