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Ooid Ars Amor. Lib. 1. 1.
pairing shepherds under silken willows, ingly, the chaste Penelope having, as she or drown them in a stream of mohair. thought, lost Ulysses at sea, she employed The heroic writers may work up battles as her time in preparing a winding-sheet for successfully, and inflame them with gold Laertes, the father of her husband. The or stain them with crimson. Even those who story of her web being very famous, and have only a turn to a song, or an epigram, yet not sufficiently known in its several cirmay put many valuable stitches into a purse, cumstances, I shall give it to my reader, as and crowd a thousand graces into a pair of Homer makes one of her wooers relate it. garters. If I may, without breach of good man- with well-taught looks, and a deceitful
Sweet hope she gave to every youth apart, ners, imagine that any pretty creature is A web she wove of many a slender twine, void of genius, and would perform her part Mycyouths, she cried, my lord but newly dead, herein but very awkwardly, I must never- Forbear a while to court my widow'd bed, theless insist upon her working, if it be Till I have wove, as solemn vows require, only to keep her out of harm's way.
This web, a shroud for poor Ulysses' sire.
His limbs, when fate the hero's soul demands, Another argument for busying good wo- Shall claim this labour of his daughter's hands : men in works of fancy is, because it takes Lest all the dames of Greece my name despise, them off from scandal, the usual attendant While the great king without a covering lies. of tea-tables, and all other inactive scenes of
Nor did my friends mistrust the guile:
All day she sped the long laborious loil: life. While they are forming their birds and But when the burning lamps supply'd the sun, beasts, their neighbours will be allowed to Each night unravelld what the day begun. be the fathers of their own children; and the fourth her maidens told th' amazing tale.
Three live long summers did the fraud prevail; whig and tory will be but seldom mentioned These eyes beheld, as close I took my stand, where the great dispute is, whether blue The backward labours of her faithless hand: or red is the more proper colour. How Till watch'd at length, and pressid on every side,
Her task she ended, and commenc'd a bride.' much greater glory would Sophronia do the general, if she would choose rather to work the battle of Blenheim in tapestry, than signalize herself with so much vehe- No. 607.] Friday, October 15, 1714. mence against those who are Frenchmen
Dicite lo Pæan, et lo bis dicite Pæan: in their hearts!
Decidit in casses præda petita meos. A third reason that I shall mention, is the profit that is brought to the family where Now To Pæan sing, now wreaths prepare, these pretty arts are encouraged. It is And with repeated Ios fill the air: manifest that this way of life not only keeps
The prey is fallen in my successful toils.-Anon. fair ladies from running out into expenses, •Mr. SPECTATOR,--Having in your pabut is at the same time an actual improve- per of Monday last published my report on ment. How memorable would that matron the case of Mrs. Fanny Fickle, wherein I be, who shall have it subscribed upon her have taken notice, that love comes after monument, “That she wrought out the marriage; I hope your readers are satisfied whole Bible in tapestry, and died in a good of this truth, that as love generally proold age, after having covered three hun- duces matrimony, so it often happens that dred yards of wall in the mansion-house!' matrimony produces love.
The premises being considered, I humbly • It perhaps requires more virtue to make submit the following proposals to all mo- a good husband or wife than what go to the thers in Great Britain:
finishing any the most shining character 1. That no young virgin whatsoever be whatsoever. allowed to receive the addresses of her first • Discretion seems absolutely necessary; lover, but in a suit of her own embroidering and accordingly we find that the best hus
2. That before every fresh humble ser- bands have been most famous for their wisvant, she be obliged to appear with a new dom. Homer, who hath drawn a perfect stomacher at the least.
pattern of a prudent man, to make it the 3. That no one be actually married until more complete, hath celebrated him for the she hath the child-bed pillows, &c. ready just returns of fidelity and truth to his stitched, as likewise the mantle for the boy Penelope; insomuch that he refused the quite finished.
caresses of a goddess for her sake; and, to These laws, if I mistake not, would ef- use the expression of the best of Pagan fectually restore the decayed art of needle-authors, “ V'etulam suam prætulit immorwork, and make the virgins of Great Britain talitati,” his old woman was dearer to him exceedingly nimble-fingered in their busi- than immortality, ness.
Virtue is the next necessary qualificaThere is a memorable custom of the tion for this domestic character, as it naGrecian ladies, in this particular, preserved turally produces constancy and mutual in Homer, which I hope will have a very esteem. *Thus Brutus and Porcia were good effect with my country-women. A more remarkable for virtue and affection widow, in ancient times, could not, without than any others of the age in which they indecency, receive a second husband, until lived. she had woven a shroud for her deceased Good-nature is a third necessary inlard, or the next of kin to him. Accord-Igredient in the marriage state, without Vol. II.
which it would inevitably sour upon a thou- time, the said bailiff shall take with him sand occasions. When greatness of mind is twain of the freeholders of the lordship of joined with this amiable quality it attracts Whichenovre, and they three shall go to the admiration and esteem of all who be- the manor of Rudlow, belonging to Robert hold it. Thus Cæsar, not more remarkable Knightleye, and there shall summon the for his fortune and valour than for his hu- aforesaid Knightleye, or his bailiff, commanity, stole into the hearts of the Roman manding him to be ready at Whichenovre people, when, breaking through the cus- the day appointed, at prime of day, with tom, he pronounced an oration at the funeral his carriage, that is to say, a horse and a of his first and best-beloved wife.
saddle, a sack and a pryke, for to convey ‘Good-nature is insufficient, unless it be the said bacon and corn a journey out of the steady and uniform, and accompanied with county of Stafford, at his costages. And an evenness of temper, which is above all then the said bailiff shall, with the said things to be preserved in this friendship freeholders, summon all the tenants of the contracted for life. A man must be easy said manor, to be ready at the day appointed within himself before he can be so to his at Whichenovre, for to do and perform the other self. Socrates and Marcus Aurelius services which they owe to the bacon. And are instances of men, who, by the strength at the day assigned, all such as owe services of philosophy, having entirely composed to the bacon shall be ready at the gate of their minds, and subdued their passions, the manor of Whichenovre, from the sunare celebrated for good husbands, notwith- rising to noon, attending and awaiting for standing the first was yoked with Xantippe, the coming of him who fetcheth the bacon. and the other with Faustina. If the wed- And when he is come, there shall be deded pair would but habituate themselves livered to him and his fellows, chapelets, for the first year to bear with one another's and to all those which shall be there to do faults, the difficulty would be pretty well their services due to the bacon. And they conquered. This mutual sweetness of tem- shall lead the said demandant with trumps per and complacency, was finely recom- and tabors, and other manner of minstrelsv; mended in the nuptial ceremonies among to the hall door, where he shall find the lord the heathens, who, when they sacrificed to of Whichenovre, or his steward, ready to Juno at that solemnity, always tore out the deliver the bacon in this manner: gall from the entrails of the victim, and “He shall inquire of him which decast it behind the altar.
mandeth the bacon, if he have brought • I shall conclude this letter with a pas- twain of his neighbours with him: which sage out of Dr. Plot's Natural History of must answer, they be here ready.' And Staffordshire, not only as it will serve to fill then the steward' shall cause these two up your present paper, but, if I find myself neighbours to swear, if the said demandant in the humour, may give rise to another; I be a wedded man, or have been a man having by me an old register belonging to wedded; and if since his marriage one year the place here under-mentioned.
and a day be past; and if he be a freeman ‘Sir Philip de Somervile held the manors or a villain. [. And if his said neighbours of Whichenovre, Scirescot, Ridware, Ne- make oath that he hath for him all these therton, and Cowlee, all in the county of three points rehearsed, then shall the bacon Stafford, of the earls of Lancaster, by this be taken down and brought to the hall door, memorable service. The said Sir Philip and shall there be laid upon one half-quarshall find, maintain, and sustain, one bacon- ter of wheat, and upon one other of rye. fitch, hanging in his hall at Whichenovre, And he that demandeth the bacon shall ready arrayed all times of the year but in kneel upon his knee, and shall hold his Lent, to be given to every man or woman right hand upon a book, which book shall married, after the day and the year of their be laid upon the bacon and the corn, and marriage be past, in form following. shall make oath in this manner:
“Whensoever that any one such before Hear ye, Sir Philip de Somervile, lord named will come to inquire for the bacon, of Whichenovre, mayntener and gyver of in their own person, they shall come to the this baconne; that I A sithe I wedded B my bailiff, or to the porter of the lordship of wife, and sithe I had hyr in my kepying, Whichenovre, and shall say to them in the and at my wylle, by a year and a day after manner as ensueth:
our marriage, I would not have chaunged • Bailiff, or porter, I do you to know, that for none other; farer ne fowler; richer ne I am come for myself to demand one bacon- pourer; ne for none other descended of Alyke hanging in the hall of the lord of greater lynage; slepying ne waking, at noo Whichenovre, after the form thereunto be-tyme. And if the seyd B were sole, and I longing.'
sole, I would take her to be my wife before “ After which relation, the bailiff or por- all the wymen of the world, of what conter shall assign a day to him, upon promise diciones soever they be, good or evylle; as by his faith to return, and with him to bring help me God and his seyntes, and this flesh twain of his neighbours. And in the mean and all fleshes.
* There was a similar institution at Dunmow in Essex, for an account of which see Leland's Itinerary.
| Villain, in the language of the time, signified a ser
vant or bondman.
“ And his neighbours shall make oath, | haviour of her consort, adding withal that that they trust verily he hath said truly. she doubted not but he was ready to attest And if it be found by his neighbours before the like of her, his wife; whereupon he, named, that he be a freeman, there shall the said Stephen, shaking his head, she be delivered to him half a quarter of wheat turned short upon him, and gave him a box and a cheese; and if he be a villain, he shall on the ear. have half a quarter of rye without cheese. “Philip de Waverland, having laid his And then shall Knightleye, the lord of hand upon the book, when the clause, Rudlow, be called for, to carry all these were I sole and she sole,' was rehearsed, things tofore rehearsed; and the said corn found a secret compunction rising in his shall be laid on one horse, and the bacon mind, and stole it off again. above it: and he to whom the bacon apper- “Richard de Loveless, who was a courtaineth shall ascend upon his horse, and tier, and a very well-bred man, being obshall take the cheese before him, if he have served to hesitate after the words, after a horse. And if he have none, the lord of our marriage,' was thereupon required to Whichenovre shall cause him to have one explain himself. He replied, by talking horse and saddle, to such time as he be very largely of his exact complaisance passed his lordship: and so shall they de- while he was a lover; and alleged that he part the manor of Whichenovre with the had not in the least disobliged his wife for a com and the bacon, tofore him that hath year and a day before marriage, which he won it, with trumpets, taborets, and other hoped was the same thing. manner of minstrelsy. And all the free Rejected. tenants of Whichenovre shall conduct him “ Joceline Jolley, esq. making it appear, to be passed the lordship of Whichenovre. by unquestionable testimony, that he and And then shall they all return except him his wife had preserved full and entire affecto whom appertaineth to make the carriage tion for the space of the first month, comand journey without the county of Stafford, monly called the honey-moon, he had, in at the costs of his lord of Whichenovre." consideration thereof, one rasher bestowed
• After this, says the record, many years No. 608.] Monday, October 18, 1714.
passed over before any demandant appear
ed at Whichenoyre-hall; insomuch that -Perjuria ridet amantum.
one would have thought that the whole
country were turned Jews, so little was -Forgiving with a smile
their affection to the flitch of bacon. The perjuries that easy maids beguile.-Dryden.
• The next couple enrolled had like to *MR. SPECTATOR, -According to my have carried it, if one of the witnesses had promise I herewith transmit to you a list of not deposed, that, dining on a Sunday with several persons, who from time to time de- the demandant, whose wife had sat below manded the flitch of bacon of Sir Philip de the squire's lady at church, she, the said Somervile, and his descendants; as it is pre- wife, dropped some expressions, as if she served
in an ancient manuscript, under the thought her husband deserved to be knighttitle of “The Register of Whichenovre- ed; to which he returned a passionate pish! hall, and of the bacon-flitch there main- The judges, taking the premises into con
sideration, declared the aforesaid behaviour • In the beginning of this record is recited to imply an unwarrantable ambition in the the law or institution in form, as it is al- wife, and anger in the husband. ready printed in your last paper: to which • It is recorded as a sufficient disqualificaare added two bye-laws, as a comment upon tion of a certain wife, that, speaking of her the general law, the substance whereof is, husband, she said, “God forgive him." that the wife shall take the same oath as "It is likewise remarked, that a couple the husband, mutatis mutandis; and that were rejected upon the deposition of one of the judges shall, as they think meet, inter- their neighbours, that the lady had once rogate or cross-examine the witnesses. Af- told her husband, that "it was her duty to ter this proceeds the register in manner obey;" to which he replied, “O my dear! following:
you are never in the wrong! " Aubry de Falstaff, son of Sir John Fal- • The violent passion of one lady for her staff, knight, with dame Maude his wife, lap-dog; the turning away of the old housewere the first that demanded the bacon, he maid by another; a tavern bill torn by the having bribed twain of his father's com- wife, and a tailor's by the husband; a quarpanions to swear falsely in his behoof, rel about the kissing-crust; spoiling of dinwhereby he gained the flitch: but he and ners, and coming in late of nights; are so his said' wife falling immediately into a dis- many several articles which occasioned the pute how the said bacon should be dressed, reprobation of some scores of demandants, it was, by order of the judges, taken from whose names are recorded in the aforesaid him, and hung up again in the hall. register.
“ Alison, the wife of Stephen Freckle, *Without enumerating other particular brought her said husband along with her, persons, I shall content myself with observand set forth the good conditions and being that the sentence pronounced against
Ovid Ars Amor. Lib. i. 633.
one Gervase Poacher is, that he might | pendence, I do not know, but he was so have had bacon to his eggs, if he had not kind as to leave my wearing of it to my own hitherto scolded his wife when they were discretion; and, not having any just title to overboiled.”. And the deposition against it from my degrees, I am content to be Dorothy Dolittle runs in these words, "that without the ornament. The privileges of she had so far usurped the dominion of the our nobility to keep a certain number of coal fire (the stirring whereof her husband chaplains are undisputed, though perhaps claimed to himself,) that by her good-will not one in ten of those reverend gentlemen she never would suffer the poker out of her have any relation to the noble families their hand.”
scarfs belong to; the right generally of • I find but two couples in this first cen- creating all chaplains, except the domestic tury that were successful; the first was a (where there is one,) being nothing more sea-captain and his wife, who since the day than the perquisite of a steward's place, of their marriage had not seen one another who, if he happens to outlive any consiuntil the day of the claim. The second was derable number of his noble masters, shall an honest pair in the neighbourhood; the probably, at one and the same time, have husband was a man of plain good sense, and fifty chaplains, all in their proper accoutrea peaceable temper; the woman was dumb.' ments, of his own creation; though perhaps
there hath been neither grace nor prayer
said in the family since the introduction of No. 609.] Wednesday, October 20, 1714.
the first coronet. I am, &c.'
MR. Spectator,- I wish you would -Farrago libelli.-- Juv. Sat. i. 86. The miscellaneous subjects of my book.
write a philosophical paper about natural
antipathies, with a word or two concerning Mr. SpectATOR, I have for some time the strength of imagination. I can give you desired to appear in your paper, and have a list upon the first notice, of a rational therefore chosen a day* to steal into the china cup, of an egg that walks upon two Spectator, when I take it for granted you legs, and a quart-pot that sings like a nightwill not have many spare minutes for specu- ingale. There is in my neighbourhood a lations of your own. As I was the other very pretty prattling shoulder of veal, that day walking with an honest country gen- squalls out at the sight of a knife. Then, tleman, he very often was expressing his as for natural antipathies, I know a general astonishment to see the town so mightily officer who was never conquered but by a crowded with doctors of divinity; upon smothered rabbit; and a wife that domiwhich I told him he was very much mis- neers over her husband by the help of a taken if he took all those gentlemen he saw breast of mutton. A story that relates to in scarfs to be persons of that dignity; for myself on this subject may be thought not that a young divine, after his first degree in unentertaining, especially when I assure the university, usually comes hither only to you that it is literally true. I had long show himself; and, on that occasion, is apt made love to a lady, in the possession of to think he is but half equipped with a whom I am now the happiest of mankind, gown and cassock for his public appear- whose hand I should have gained with ance, if he hath not the additional orna- much difficulty without the assistance of a ment of a scarf of the first magnitude to cat. You must know then that my most entitle him to the appellation of Doctor dangerous rival had so strong an aversion to from his landlady, and the boy at Child's. this species, that he infallibly swooned Now, since I know that this piece of garni- away at the sight of that harmless crea: ture is looked upon as a mark of vanity or ture. My friend, Mrs. Lucy, her maid, affectation, as it is made use of among having a greater respect for me and my some of the little spruce adventurers of the purse than she had for my rival, always town, I should be glad if you would give it took care to pin the tail of a cat under the a place among those extravagances you gown of her mistress, whenever she knew have justly exposed in several of your pa- of his coming; which had such an effect
, pers: being very well assured that the that every time he entered the room, he main body of the clergy, both in the coun- looked more like one of the figures in Mrs. try and the universities, who are almost to Salmon's wax-work,t than a desirable lorer a man untainted with it, would be very In short, he grew sick of her company; well pleased to see this venerable foppery which the young lady taking notice of (who well exposed. When my patron did me no more knew why than he did,) she sent the honour to take me into his family (for I me a challenge to meet her in Lincoln's-inn must own myself of this order,) he was chapel, which I joyfully accepted; and pleased to say he took me as a friend and have, amongst other pleasures, the satiscompanion; and whether he looked upon faction of being praised by her for my the scarf like the lace and shoulder-knot of stratagem. I am, &c. a footman, as a badge of servitude and de- •From the Hoop.
† An exhibition then to be seen near St. Dunstan's * The 20th of October, 1714, was the day of the coro. church, Fleet-Street, but which, about fifteen years ago, nation of king George I.
was moved to the opposite side of the street.
Plebeius moriar senex,
MR.SPECTATOR, -The virgins of Great those who come out and draw upon themBritain are very much obliged to you for selves the eyes and admiration of mankind. putting them upon such tedious drudgeries Virgil would never have been heard of, had in needle-work as were fit only for the not his domestic misfortunes driven him Hilpas and the Nilpas that lived before the out of his obscurity, and brought him to flood. Here is a stir indeed, with your his- Rome. tories in embroidery, your groves with If we suppose that there are spirits, or shades of silk and streams of mohair! I angels, who look into the ways of men, as would have you to know, that I hope to kill it is highly probable there are, both from a hundred lovers before the best house- reason and revelation, how different are wife in England can stitch out a battle; and the notions which they entertain of us, do not fear but to provide boys and girls from those which we are apt to form of much faster than your disciples can em- one another! Were they to give us in their broider them. I love birds and beasts as catalogue of such worthies as are now well as you, but am content to fancy them living, how different would it be from when they are really made. What do you that which any of our own species would think of gilt leather for furniture! There draw up! is your pretty hangings for your chamber!* We are dazzled with the splendour of and, what is more, our own country is the titles, the ostentation of learning, the noise only place in Europe where work of that of victories: they, on the contrary, see the kind is tolerably done. Without minding philosopher in the cottage, who possesses your musty lessons, I am this minute going his soul in patience and thankfulness, under to St. Paul's church-yard to bespeak a the pressures of what little minds call poscreen and a set of hangings; and am re- verty and distress. They do not look for solved to encourage the manufacture of my great men at the head of armies, or among country. Yours,
CLEORA.' the pomps of a court, but often find them
out in shades and solitudes, in the private
walks and by-paths of life. The evening's No. 610.] Friday, October 22, 1714.
walk of a wise man is more illustrious in
their sight than the march of a general at Sic, cum transierint mei
the head of a hundred thousand men. A Nullo cum strepitu dies,
contemplation of God's works; a voluntary Illi mors gravis incubat,
act of justice to our own detriment: a geneQui, notus nimis omnibus,
rous concern for the good of mankind; tears Ignotus moritur sibi.-Seneca.
that are shed in silence for the misery of Thus, when my fleeting days at last,
others; a private desire or resentment Unheeded, silently are past, Calmly I shall resign my breath,
broken and subdued; in short, an unfeigned In life unknown, forgot in death;
exercise of humility, or any other virtue, While he, o'ertaken unprepard,
are such actions as are glorious in their Finds death an evil to be feard, Who dies, to others too much known,
sight, and denominate men great and repuA stranger to himself alone.
table. The most famous among us are often I'HAVE often wondered that the Jews looked upon with pity, with contempt, or should contrive such worthless greatness
with indignation; whilst those who are for the Deliverer whom they expected, as most obscure among their own species are to dress him up in external pomp and pa- regarded with love, with approbation, and geantry, and represent him to their imagi-esteem. nations as making havoc among his crea
The moral of the present speculation tures, and actuated with the poor ambition amounts to this; that we should not be led of a Cæsar or an Alexander. How much away by the censures and applauses of more illustrious does he appear in his real men, but consider the figure that every character, when considered as the author person will make at that time, when "Wisof universal benevolence among men, as dom shall be justified of her children, and refining our passions, exalting our nature, nothing pass for great or illustrious, which giving us vast ideas of immortality, and is not an ornament and perfection to human teaching us a contempt of that little showy
nature. grandeur wherein the Jews made the glory
The story of Gyges, the rich Lydian of their Messiah to consist!
monarch, is a memorable instance to our Nothing,' says Longinus, can he great; by Gyges, who was
the happiest man, rethe contempt of which is great. The pos: plied, "Aglaus.
present purpose. The oracle being asked session of wealth and riches cannot give a
Gyges, who expected to man a title to greatness, because it is looked have heard himself named on this occasion, upon as a greatness of mind to contemn was much surprised, and very curious to these gifts of fortune, and to be above the know who this Aglaus should be. After desire of them. I have therefore been in- much inquiry, he was found to be an obclined to think that there are greater men scure countryman, who employed all his who lie concealed among the species, than time in cultivating a garden, and a few
acres of land about his house. There was about this time a celebrated manufac
Cowley's agreeable relation of this story tory of tapestry at Chelsea.
shall close this day's speculation,