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confining all his regard to the gratification | talked of, though it be for the particular of his appetites, is capable but of short fits cock of his hat, or for prating aloud in the of pleasure—or the man who, reckoning boxes at a play, is in a fair way of being a himself a sharer in the satisfactions of others, favourite. 'I have known a young fellow especially those which come to them by his make his fortune by knocking down a conmeans, enlarges the sphere of his happi- stable; and may venture to say, though it ness?
may seem a paradox, that many a fair one The last enemy to benevolence I shall has died by a duel in which both the commention is uneasiness of any kind. A guilty batants have survived. or a discontented mind, a mind' ruffled by ‘About three winters ago, I took notice of ill-fortune, disconcerted by its own passions, a young lady at the theatre, who conceived soured by neglect, or fretting at disappoint- a passion for a notorious rake that headed ments, hath not leisure to attend to the ne-a party of catcalls; and am credibly incessity or unreasonableness of a kindness formed that the emperor of the Mohocks desired, nor a taste for those pleasures married a rich widow within three weeks which wait on beneficence, which demand after having rendered himself formidable in a calm and unpolluted heart to relish them. the cities of London and Westminster. The most miserable of all beings is the Scouring and breaking of windows have most envious; as, on the other hand, the done frequent execution upon the sex. But most communicative is the happiest. And there is no set of these male charmers who if you are in search of the seat of perfect make their way more successfully than love and friendship, you will not find it until those who have gained themselves a dame you come to the region of the blessed, for intrigue, and have ruined the greatest where happiness, like a refreshing stream, number of reputations. There is a strange flows from heart to heart in an endless cir- curiosity in the female world to be acquaintculation, and is preserved sweet and un- ed with the dear man who has been loved tainted by the motion. It is old advice, if by others, and to know what it is that you have a favour to request of any one, to makes him so agreeable. His reputation observe the softest times of address, when does more than half his business. Every the soul, in a flash of good humour, takes a one that is ambitious of being a woman of pleasure to show itself pleased. Persons fashion, looks out for opportunities of being conscious of their own integrity, satisfied in his company; so that, to use the old with themselves and their condition, and proverb, "When his name is up he may lie full of confidence in a Supreme Being, and a-bed.” the hope of immortality, survey all about •I was very sensible of the great advanthem with a flow of good-will; as trees tage of being a man of importance upon which, like their soil, shoot out in expres- these occasions on the day of the king's sions of kindness, and bend beneath their entry, when I was seated in a balcony beown precious load, to the hand of the ga- hind a cluster of very pretty country ladies, therer. Now, if the mind be not thus easy, who had one of these showy gentlemen in it is an infallible sign that it is not in its na- the midst of them. The first trick I caught tural state: place the mind in its right pos- him at was bowing to several persons of ture, it will immediately discover its innate quality whom he did not know; nay, he propension to beneficence.'
had the impudence to hem at a blue garter who had a finer equipage than ordinary;
and seemed a little concerned at the imperNo. 602.] Monday, October 4, 1714,
tinent huzzas of the mob, that hindered his
friend from taking notice of him. There Facit hoc illos hyacinthos
was indeed one who pulled off his hat to Juv. Sat. vi, ver. 110.
him; and, upon the ladies asking who it This makes them hyacinths.
was, he told them it was a foreign minister
that he had been very merry with the night The following letter comes from a gen- before; whereas in truth' it was the city tleman who I find is very diligent in making common hunt. his observations, which I think too mate- •He was never at a loss when he was rial not to be communicated to the public. asked any person's name, though he sel
'Sir,- In order to execute the office of dom knew any one under a peer. He found the love casuist of Great Britain, with dukes and earls among the aldermen, very which I take myself to be invested by your good-natured fellows among the privya paper of September 8, I shall make some counsellors, with two or three agreeable old farther observations upon the two sexes in rakes among the bishops and judges. general, beginning with that which always • In short, I collected from his whole disought to have the upper hand. After hav- course, that he was acquainted with every ing observed, with much curiosity, the ac- body, and knew nobody. At the same time, complishments which are apt to captivate I am mistaken if he did not that day make female hearts, I find that there is no per- more advances in the affections of his misson so irresistible as one who is a man of tress, who sat near him, than he could have importance, provided it be in matters of no done in half a year's courtship, consequence. One who makes himself 'Ovid has finely touched this method of
making love, which I shall here give my | My fair one is gone, and my joys are all drown'd, reader in Mr. Dryden's translation.
And my heart— I am sure it weighs more than a pound.
III. • Page the eleventh.
The fountaid that wont to run swiftly along,
And dance to soft murmurs the pebbles among; “ Thus love in theatres did first improve,
Thou know'st little Cupid, if Phæbe was there,
'Twas pleasure to look at, 'twas music to hear:
But now she is absent, I walk by its side, The Circus is no inconvenient place.
And still as it murmurs do nothing but chide. Nor need is there of talking on the hand,
Must you be so cheerful, when I go in pain? Nor nods, nor signs, which lovers understand;
Peace there with your bubbling, and hear me complain. But boldly next the fair your seat provide,
"When my lambkins around me would oftentimes For so the laws of public shows permit.
play, Then find occasion to begin discourse,
And when Phoebe and I were as joyful as they, Inquire whose chariot this, and whose that horse; How pleasant their sporting, how happy their time, To whatsoever side she is inclin'd,
When spring, love, and beauty, were all in their prime Suit all your inclinations to her mind.
But now in their frolics when by me they pass,
I fling at their fleeces a handful of grass;
To see you so merry while I am so sad.
My dog I was ever well pleased to see When thou, the best and fairest of mankind,
Come wagging his tail to my fair-one and me; Drawn by white horses, shall in triumph ride,
And Phæbe was pleas'd too, and to my dog said, With conquer'd slaves attending on thy side;
Come hither, poor fellow; and patted his head. Slaves that no longer can be safe in flight,
But now, when he's fawning, I with a sour look O glorious object! O surprising sight!
Cry, Sirrah! and give him a blow with my crook. o day of public joy, too good to end in night!
And I'll give hiin another; for why should not Tray On such a day, if thou, and next to thee
Be as dull as his master, when Phæbe's away? Some beauty sits, the spectacle to see;
VI. If she inquires the names of conquer'd kings,
"When walking with Phoebe, what sights have I seen! of mountains, rivers, and their hidden springs; How fair was the flower, how fresh was the green! Answer to all thou know'st; and if need be,
What a lovely appearance the trees and the shade, Of things unknown seem to speak knowingly: The corn-fields and hedges, and every thing made! This is Euphrates, crown'd with reeds; and i here But now she has left me, though all are still there, Flows the swin Tigris, with his sea-green hair. They none of them now so delightful appear: Invent new names of things unknown before; "Twas nought but the magic, I find, of her eyes, Call this Armenia, that the Caspian shore;
Made so many beautiful prospects arise. Call this a Mede, and that the Parthian youth;
VII. Talk probably: no matter for the truth."
'Sweet music went with us both all the wood through, The lark, linnet, throstle, and nightingale too; Winds over us whisperd, flocks by us did bleat,
And chirp went the grasshopper under our feet. No. 603.) Wednesday, October 6, 1714. But now she is absent, though still they sing on,
The woods are but lonely, the melody's gone:
Virg. Ecl. viii. 68. Gave every thing else its agreeable sound.
And where is the violet's beautiful blue ? The following copy of verses comes from Dres aught of its sweetness the blossom beguile? one of my correspondents, * and has some- That meadow, those daisies, why do they not smile ? thing in it so original, that I do not much Ah! rivals, I see what it was that you dress'd doubt but it will divert my readers.
And made yourselves fine for; a place in her breast :
To be pluck'd
her hand, on her bosom to die. "My time, O ye Muses, was happily spent,
IX. When Phæbe went with me wherever I went;1
• How slowly time creeps, till my Phæbe return! Ten thousand sweet pleasures I felt in my breast. While amidst the soft zephyr's cool breezes I burn! Sure never fond shepherd like Colin was blest!
Methinks if I knew whereabout he would tread, But now she has gone, and has left me behind,
I could breathe on his wings, and 'twould melt down the What a marvellous change on a sudden I find !
lead. When things were as fine as could possibly be,
Fly swifter ye minutes, bring hither my dear,
Ah, Colin! old Time is full of delay, "With such a companion to tend a few sheep,
Nor will budge one foot faster for all thou canst say.
• Will no pitying power that hears me complain, My heart was as light as a feather all day.
Or cure my disquiet, or soften my pain? But now I so cross and so peevish am grown;
To be curd, thou must, Colin, thy passion remove: Bo strangely uneasy as never was known.
But what swain is so silly to live without love.
For ne'er was poor shepherd so sadly forlorn,
Take heed all ye swains, how ye love one so fair.' " It has been said, on good authority, that the Phæbe of this pastoral was Joanna, the daughter of Dr. Bentley, and that it was written, not so much from affection to the daughter, as with the aim of securing the inter: No. 604.] Friday, October 8, 1714. est of the doctor, in promoting the author's views with regard to the fellowship for which, at the period of its Tu ne quæsjeris (scire nefas) quem mihi, quem tibi, composition, he was a candidate."
Finem Dii dederint, Luconoe; nec Babylonios
Hor. Od. xi. Lib. 1. 1 Ansty made a most happy parody of these two lines in his Bath Guide.
Ah do not strive too much to know,
My dear Leuconoe, " My time, my dear mother's, been wretchedly spent, What the kind gods design to do With a gripe or a hickup wherever I went."
With me and thee.-Creech.
The desire of knowing future events, is | along, and I found in myself a strong inclione of the strongest inclinations in the mind nation to mingle in the train. My eyes of man. Indeed, an ability of foreseeing quickly singled out some of the most probable accidents is what, in the language splendid figures. Several in rich caftans of men, is called wisdom and prudence: but, and glittering turbans bustled through the not satisfied with the light that reason holds throng, and trampled over the bodies of out, mankind hath endeavoured to penetrate those they threw down; until, to my great more compendiously into futurity. Magic, surprise, I found that the great pace they oracles, omens, lucky hours, and the various went only hastened them to a scaffold or arts of superstition, owe their rise to this a bow-string. Many beautiful damsels on powerful cause. As this principle is founded the other side moved forward with great in self-love, every man is sure to be solici- gayety; some danced antil they fell all tous in the first place about his own fortune, along; and others painted their faces until the course of his life, and the time and man- they lost their noses. A tribe of creatures ner of his death.
with busy looks falling into a fit of laughter If we consider that we are free agents, at the misfortunes of the unhappy ladies, I we shall discover the absurdity of such in- turned my eyes upon them. They were quiries. One of our actions, which we might each of them filling his pockets with gold have performed or neglected, is the cause and jewels, and when there was no room of another that succeeds it, and so the whole left for more, these wretches, looking round chain of life is linked together. Pain, po- with fear and horror, pined away before verty, or infamy, are the natural product my face with famine and discontent. of vicious and imprudent acts; as the con- The prospect of human misery struck trary blessings are of good ones; so that we me dumb for some miles. Then it was, cannot suppose our lot to be determined that to disburden my mind, I took pen and without impiety. A great enhancement of ink, and did every thing that has since happleasure arises from its being unexpected; pened under my office as Spectator. While and pain is doubled by being foreseen. Upon i was employing myself for the good of all these, and several other accounts, we mankind, I was surprised to meet with ought to rest satisfied in this portion be- very unsuitable returns from my fellowstowed on us; to adore the hand that hath creatures. - Never was poor author so beset fitted every thing to our nature, and hath by pamphleteers, who sometimes marched not more displayed his goodness in our directly against me, but oftener shot at me knowledge than in our ignorance.
from strong bulwarks, or rose up suddenly It is not unworthy observation, that super- in ambush. They were of all characters stitious inquiries into future events prevail and capacities, some with ensigns of dig. more or less, in proportion to the improve- nity, and others in liveries;* but what most ment of liberal arts and useful knowledge surprised me was to see two or three in in the several parts of the world. Accord- black gowns among my enemies. It was no ingly, we find that magical incantations re- small trouble to me, sometimes to have a main in Lapland; in the more remote parts man come up to me with an angry face, of Scotland they have their second sight; and reproach me for having lampooned and several of our own countrymen have him, when I had never seen or heard of seen abundance of fairies. In Asia this cre- him in my life. With the ladies it was dulity is strong; and the greatest part of otherwise: many became my enemies for refined learning there consists in the know- not being particularly pointed out; as there ledge of amulets, talismans, occult numbers, were others who resented the satire which and the like.
they imagined I had directed against them. When I was at Grand Cairo, I fell into My great comfort was in the company of the acquaintance of a good-natured mus-half a dozen friends, who, I found since, sulman, who promised me many good offices were the club which I have so often menwhich he designed to do me when he be- tioned in my papers. I laughed often at came the prime minister, which was a Sir Roger in my sleep, and was the more difortune bestowed on his imagination by a verted with Will Honeycomb's gallantries, doctor very deep in the curious sciences. (when we afterwards became acquainted, ) At his repeated solicitations I went to learn because I had foreseen his marriage with a my destiny of this wonderful sage. For a farmer's daughter. The regret which arose small sum I had his promise, but was de- in my mind upon the death of my comsired to wait in a dark apartment until he panions, my anxieties for the public, and had run through the preparatory ceremo- the many calamities still fleeting before my nies. Having a strong propensity, even eyes, made me repent my curiosity; when then, to dreaming, I took a nap upon the the magician entered the room, and awakensofa where I was placed, and had the fol- ed me, by telling me (when it was too late,) lowing vision, the particulars whereof 1 that he was just going to begin. picked up the other day among my papers.
I found myself in an unbounded plain, where methought the whole world, in se- * This is pointed at the hirelings employed by the veral habits and with different tongues, was ministry, in the last years of the queen's reign D. assembled. The multitude glided swiftly I worth, Mrs. Manley, &c
Swift, Prior, Atterbury, Dr. Friend, Dr. King, Mr. Olds
N. B. I have only delivered the prophecy The only objection that she seems to inof that part of my life which is past, it be- sinuate against the gentleman proposed to ing inconvenient to divulge the second part her, is his want of complaisance, which I until a more proper opportunity.
perceive she is very willing to return. Now I can discover, from this very circum
stance, that she and her lover, whatever No. 605.] Monday, October 11, 1714.
they may think of it, are very good friends
in their hearts. It is difficult to determine Exuerint sylvestrem animum; cultuque frequenti,
whether love delights more in giving pleaIn quascunque voces artes, haud tarda sequentur.
sure or pain. Let Miss Fickle ask her own
Virg. Georg. ii. 51. heart, if she doth not take a secret pride in - They change their savage mind,
making this man of good sense look very Their wildness lose, and, quitting nature's part, Obey the rules and discipline of art.-Dryden.
silly. Hath she ever been better pleased
than when her behaviour hath made her Having perused the following letter, and lover ready to hang himself; or doth she finding it to run upon the subject of love, I ever rejoice more than when she thinks she referred it to the learned casuist, whom I hath driven him to the very brink of a purlhave retained in my service for speculations ing stream? Let her consider, at the same of that kind, He returned it to me the time, that it is not impossible but her lover next morning with his report annexed to may have discovered her tricks, and hath it, with both of which I shall here present a mind to give her as good as she brings. my reader,
I remember a handsome young baggage • MR. SPECTATOR,- Finding that you
that treated a hopeful Greek of my achave entertained a useful person in your quaintance, just come from Oxford, as if service in quality of love-casuist, I apply he had been a barbarian. The first week myself to you under a very great difficulty, after she had fixed him, she took a pinch that hath for some months perplexed me.
of snuff out of his rival's box, and appaI have a couple of humble servants, one rently touched the enemy's little finger. of which I have no aversion to; the other I She became a professed enemy to the arts think of very kindly. The first hath the and sciences, and scarce ever wrote a letter reputation of a man of good sense, and is to him without wilfully misspelling his one of those people that your sex are apt
name. The young scholar, to be even to value. My spark is reckoned a cox-with her, railed at coquettes as soon as he comb among the men, but is a favourite of had got the word; and did not want parts the ladies. If I marry the man of worth, to turn into ridicule her men of wit and as they call him, I shall oblige my parents, pleasure of the town. After having irriand improve my fortune; but with my dear tated one another for the space of five beau I promise myself happiness, although months, she made an assignation with him not a jointure. Now I would ask you, fourscore miles from London. But, as he whether I should consent to lead my life was very well acquainted with her pranks, with a man that I have dnly no objection to, he took a journey the quite
contrary way. or with him against whom all objections to Accordingly they met, quarrelled, and in me appear frivolous. I am determined to a few days were married. Their former follow the casuist's advice, and I dare say he hostilities are now the subject of their will not put me upon so serious a thing as mirth, being content at present with that matrimony contrary to my inclination. I part of love only which bestows pleasure.
FANNY FICKLE. Women who have been married some *P. S. I forgot to tell you, that the pretty after them a numerous train of followers,
time, not having it in their heads to draw gentleman is the most complaisant crea- find their satisfaction in the possession of ture in the world, and is always of my one man's heart. I know very well that mind; but the other, forsooth, fancies he ladies in their bloom desire to be excused has as much wit as myself, slights my lap. in this particular. But, when time hath dog, and hath the insolence to contradict worn out their natural vanity, and taught me when he thinks I am not in the right them discretion, their fondness settles on About half an hour ago, he maintained to its proper object. And it is probably for my face that a patch always implies a this reason that, among husbands, you will pimple.'
find more that are fond of women beyond As I look upon it to be my duty rather to their prime, than of those who are actually side with the parents than the daughter, I in the insolence of beauty. My reader will shall propose some considerations to my apply the same observation to the other sex. gentle querist, which may incline her to I need not insist upon the necessity of comply with those under whose direction their pursuing one common interest, and she is; and at the same time convince her their united care for their children; but that it is not impossible but she may in shall only observe, by the way, that martime, have a true affection for him who is ried persons are both more warm in their at present indifferent to her; or, to use the love, and more hearty in their hatred than rld family maxim, that, if she marries any others whatsoever. Mutual favours hrst, love will come after.'
and obligations, which may be supposed to
longum cantu solata laborem
be greater here than in any other state, / with him, made her his first minister of naturally beget an intense affection in ge- state, and continued true to her alone, until nerous minds. As, on the contrary, per- his marriage with the beautiful Elfrida. sons who have bestowed such favours have a particular bitterness in their resentments, when they think themselves ill-treated by No. 606.] Wednesday, October 13, 1714. those of whom they have deserved so much. Besides, Miss Fickle may consider, that
Arguto conjux percurrit pectine telas.
Virg. Georg. I. 294. as there are often many faults concealed before marriage, so there are sometimes
-mean time at home
The good wife singing plies the various loom. many virtues unobserved. To this we may add the great efficacy of
•MR. SPECTATOR,—I have a couple of custom and constant conversation to pro
nieces under my direction, who so often run duce a mutual friendship and benevolence gadding abroad, that I do not know where in two persons. It is a nice reflection, to have them. Their dress, their tea, and which I have heard a friend of mine make, their visits, take up all their time, and they that you may be sure a woman loves a man, go to bed as tired with doing nothing as I when she uses his expressions, tell his sto- am after quilting a whole under-petticoat. ries, or imitates his manner. This gives
The only time they are not idle is while a secret delight; for imitation is a kind of they read your Spectators; which being artless flattery, and mightily favours the dedicated to the interest of virtue, I desire powerful principle of self-love. It is cer- you to recommend the long neglected art tain that married persons, who are possess
of needle-work. Those hours which in this ed with a mutual esteern, not only catch age are thrown away on dress, play, visits, the air and way of talk from one another, and the like, were employed, in my time, but fall into the same traces of thinking Chairs, and hangings, for the family. For
in writing out receipts, or working beds, and liking. Nay, some have carried the remark so far as to assert, that the features my part, I have plied my needle these fifty of man and wife grow, in time, to resemble years, and by my good will would never one another. Let my fair correspondent,
have it out of my hand. It grieves my therefore, consider, that the gentleman re- | heart to see a couple of proud idle flirts commended will have a good deal of her sipping their tea, for a whole afternoon, in own face in two or three years; which she a room hung round with the industry of must not expect from the beau, who is too their great grandmother. Pray, sir, take full of his dear self to copy after another. the laudable mystery of embroidery into And I dare appeal to her own judgment, if your serious consideration, and, as you have that person will not be the handsomest that a great deal of the virtue of the last age in is the most like herself.
you, continue your endeavours to reform We have a remarkable instance to our
the present, I am, &c.' present purpose in the history of king Ed- In obedience to the commands of my vegar, which I shall here relate, and leave it nerable correspondent, I have duly weighed with my fair correspondent to be applied this important subject, and promise myself, to herself.
from the arguments here laid down, that all This great monarch, who is so famous in the fine ladies of England will be ready, as British story, fell in love, as he made his soon as their mourning is over,* to appear progress through his kingdom, with a cer- covered with the work of their own hands. tain duke's daughter, who lived near Win- What a delightful entertainment must it chester, and was the most celebrated beauty be to the fair-sex, whom their native mo of the age. His importunities and the vio- desty and the tenderness of men towards lence of his passion were so great, that the them, exempt from public business, to pass mother of the young lady promised him to their hours in imitating fruits and flowers, bring her daughter to his bed the next and transplanting all the beauties of nature night, though in her heart she abhorred sp into their own dress, or raising a new creainfamous an office. It was no sooner dark tion in their closets and apartments! How than she conveyed into his room, a young pleasing is the amusement of walking maid of no disagreeable figure, who was among the shades and groves planted by one of her attendants, and did not want ad- themselves, in surveying heroes slain by dress to improve the opportunity for the their needle, or little cupids which they advancement of her fortune. She made so have brought into the world without pain! good use of her time, that when she offered This is, methinks, the most proper way to rise a little before day, the king could by wherein a lady can show a fine genius; and no means think of parting with her; so that, I cannot forbear wishing that several wrifinding herself under a necessity of disco-ters of that sex had chosen to apply themvering who she was, she did it in so hand-selves rather to tapestry than rhyme. some a manner, that his majesty was ex- Your pastoral poetesses may vent their ceeding gracious to her, and took her ever fancy in rural landscapes, and place desafter under his protection: insomuch, that our chronicles tell us, he carried her along * The general mourning on the death of queen Anne