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The ideas which strike the fancy arise in not, in some degree, guilty of this offence; us without our choice, either from the oc-though at the same time, however, we currences of the day past, the temper we treat one another, it must be confessed, lie down in, or it may be the direction of that we all consent in speaking ill of the some superior being.
persons who are notorious for this practice. It is certain the imagination may be so It generally takes its rise either from an differently affected in sleep, that our ac- ill-will to mankind, a private inclination to tions of the day might be either rewarded make ourselves esteemed, an ostentation of or punished with a little age of happiness wit, a vanity of being thought in the secrets or misery. Saint Austin was of opinion that, of the world, or from a desire of gratifying if in Paradise there was the same vicissi- any of these dispositions of mind in those tude of sleeping and waking, as in the pre-persons with whom we converse. sent world, the dreams of its inhabitants The publisher of scandal is more or less would be very happy.
odious to mankind, and criminal in himself, And so far at present are our dreams in as he is influenced by any one or more of our power, that they are generally con- the foregoing motives. But, whatever may formable to our waking thoughts, so that it be the occasion of spreading these false reis not impossible to convey ourselves to a ports, he ought to consider that the effect concert of music, the conversation of dis- of them is equally prejudicial and pernitant friends, or any other entertainment cious to the person at whom they are aimed. which has been before lodged in the mind. The injury is the same, though the principle
My readers, by applying these hints, from which it proceeds may be different. will find the necessity of making a good As every one looks upon himself with too day of it, if they heartily wish themselves much indulgence, when he passes a judga good night.
ment on his own thoughts or actions, and as 1 have often considered Marcia's prayer, very few would be thought guilty of this and Lucia's account of Cato, in this light. abominable proceeding, which is so univerMarc. O ye mortal powers, that guard the just,
sally practised, and at the same time so Watch round his couch, and soften his repose,
universally blamed, I shall lay down three Banish his sorrows, and becalm his soul
rules, by which I would have a manexamine With easy dreams; remember all his virtues,
and search into his own heart before he And show mankind that goodness is your care.
Luc. Sweet are the slumbers of the virtuous man! stands acquitted to himself of that evil disO Marcia, I have seen thy god-like father;
position of mind which I am here menSome power invisible supports his soul,
tioning And bears it up in all its wonted greatness. A kind refreshing sleep has fallen upon him:
First of all, Let him consider whether he I saw him stretch'd at ease, his fancy lost
does not take delight in hearing the faults In pleasing dreams. As I drew near his couch
of others. He smild, and cry'd, Cæsar, thou canst not hurt me.'
Secondly, Whether he is not too apt to Mr. Shadow acquaints me in a postscript, believe such little blackening accounts, and that he has no manner of title to the vision more inclined to be credulous on the unwhich succeeded his first letter; but adds, charitable than on the good-natured side. that, as the gentleman who wrote it dreams Thirdly, Whether he is not ready to very sensibly, he shall be glad to meet him | spread and propagate such reports as tend some night or other under the great elm- to the disreputation of another. tree, by which Virgil has given us a fine These are the several steps by which metaphorical image of sleep, in order to this vice proceeds and grows up into slanturn over a few of the leaves together, der and defamation. and oblige the public with an account of In the first place, a man who takes dethe dreams that lie under them.
light in hearing the faults of others, shows sufficiently that he has a true relish of scan
dal, and consequently the seeds of this vice No. 594.] Wednesday, September 15, 1714. within him. If his mind is gratified with -Absentem qui rodit amicum;
hearing the reproaches which are cast on Qui non defendit alio culpante; solutos
others, he will find the same pleasure in reQui captat risus hominum, famamque dicacis; Fingere qui non visa potest ; commissa tacere
lating them, and be the more apt to do it, Qui nequit; hic niger est : hunc tu, Romane, caveto. as he will naturally imagine every one he
converses with is delighted in the same He that shall rail against his absent friends,
manner with himself. A man should enOr hears them scandaliz'd, and not defends;
deavour, therefore, to wear out of his mind Sports with their fame, and speaks whate'er he can, And only to be thought a witty man;
this criminal curiosity, which is perpetually Tells tales, and brings his friends in digesteem; heightened and inflamed by listening to such That man's a knave ;-be sure beware of him. stories as tend to the disreputation of others
In the second place, a man should consult Were all the vexations of life put to his own heart, whether he be not apt to be gether, we should find that a great part of lieve such little blackening accounts, and them proceeds from those calumnies and more inclined to be credulous on the une reproaches which we spread abroad con- charitable than on the good-natured side. cerning one another.
Such a credulity is very vicious in itself, There is scarce a man living, who is and generally arises from a man's conscious
Hor. Sat. iv. Lib. 1. 81.
ness of his own secret corruptions. It is a I mean is the mixture of inconsistent metapretty saying of Thales, 'Falsehood is just phors, which is a fault but too often found as far distant from truth as the ears are in learned writers, but in all the unlearned from the eyes.'* By which he would inti- without exception. mate, that a wise man should not easily give In order to set this matter in a clear light credit to the report of actions which he has to every reader, I shall in the first place obnot seen. I shall, under this head, men serve, that a metaphor is a simile in one tion two or three remarkable rules to be word, which serves to convey the thoughts observed by the members of the celebrated of the mind under resemblances and images Abbey de la Trappe, as they are published which affect the senses. There is not any in a little French book.
thing in the world, which may not be comThe fathers are there ordered never to pared to several things if considered in segive an ear to any accounts of base or crimi- veral distinct lights; or, in other words, the nal actions; to turn off all such discourse if same thing may be expressed by different possible; but, in case they hear any thing metaphors. But the mischief is, that an of this nature so well attested that they unskilful author shall run these metaphors cannot disbelieve it, they are then to sup- so absurdly into one another, that there pose that the criminal action may have pro- shall be no simile, no agreeable picture, no ceeded from a good intention in him who is apt resemblance, but confusion, obscurity, guilty of it. This is, perhaps, carrying and noise. Thus I have known a hero comCharity to an extravagance; but it is cer-pared to a thunderbolt, a lion, and the sea; tainly much more laudable than to suppose, all and each of them proper metaphors for as the ill-natured part of the world does, impetuosity, courage, or force. But by bad that wdifferent and even good actions pro- management it hath so happened, that the ceed from bad principles and wrong inten- thunderbolt hath overflowed its banks, the tions.
ljon hath been darted through the skies, In the third place, a man should examine and the billows have rolled out of the Libyan his heart, whether he does not find in it a desert. secret inclination to propagate such reports The absurdity, in this instance, is obvious, as tend to the gisreputation of another. And yet every time that clashing meta
When the disease of the mind, which I phors are put together, this fault is com have hitherto been speaking of, arises tomitted more or less. It hath already been this degree of mali'nity, it discovers itse I said, that metaphors are images of things m its worst sympton., 2d is in danger of which affect the senses. An image, therebecoming incurable. I need 9: therefore fore, taken from what acts upon the sight, insist upon the guilt in this last particular, cannot, without violence, be applied to the which every one cannot but disu prove, hearing; and so of the rest. It is no less who is not void of humanity, or even cm- an impropriety to make any being in namon discretion. I shall only add, that, ture or art to do things in its metaphorical whatever pleasure any man may take in state, which it could not do in its original. spreading whispers of this nature, he will I shall illustrate what I have said by an find an infinitely greater satisfaction in con instance which I have read more than quering the temptation he is under, by once in controversial writers. “The heavy letting the secret die within his own breas. lashes,' saith a celebrated author, 'that
have dropped from your pen, &c.' I suppose this gentleman, having frequently
heard of .gall dropping from a pen, and No. 595.] Friday, September 17, 1714.
being lashed in a satire,' he was resolved -Non ut placidis coeant immitia, non ut to have them both at any rate, and so utSerpentes avibus geminentur, tigribus agni. tered this complete piece of nonsense. It
will most effectually discover the absurdity Nature, and the eommon laws of senge, Forbid to reconcile antipathies;
of these monstrous unions, if we will supOr make a snake engender with a dove,
pose these metaphors or images actually And hungry tigers court the tender lambs.
painted. Imagine then a hand holding a
pen, and several lashes of whipcord falling If ordinary authors would condescend to from it, and you have the true representawrite as they think, they would at least be tion of this sort of eloquence. I believe, by allowed the praise of being intelligible. But this very rule, a reader may be able to they really take pains to be ridiculous: and, judge of the union of all metaphors whatsoby the studied ornaments of style, perfectly ever, and determine which are homogedisguise the little sense they aim at. There neous, and which heterogeneous; or, to is a grievance of this sort in the coromon speak more plainly, which are consistent wealth of letters, which I have for some and which inconsistent. time resolved to redress, and accordingly I Thero is yet one evil more which I must have set this day apart for justice. What take notice of, and that is the running of
metaphors into tedious allegories; which, Stobæi Serm. 61. Pelibien, Description de l'Abbaye de la Trayipa, though an error on the better hand, causes
This be Paris. 1671; reprinted in 1682. It is a letter of M. P confusion as much as the other.
Hor. Ars Poet. ver. 12.
comes abominable, when the lustre of one
bien to the dutchess of Lancourt.
word leads a writer out of his road, and been pleased to lay it down as a maxim, makes him wander from his subject for a that nothing spoils a young fellow's fortune page together. I remember a young fel- so much as marrying early; and that no low of this turn, who, having said by chance man ought to think of wedlock until sixthat his mistress had a world of charms, and-twenty. Knowing his sentiments upon thereupon took occasion to consider her as this head, I thought it in vain to apply myone possessed of frigid and torrid zones, self to women of condition, who expect setand pursued her from one pole to the other. tlements; so that all my amours have
I shall conclude this paper with a letter hitherto been with ladies who had no forwritten in that enormous style, which Itunes: but I know not how to give you so hope my reader hath by this time set his good an idea of me, as by laying before you heart against. The epistle hath hereto- the history of my life. fore received great applause; but after •I can very well remember, that at my what hath been said, let any man commend school-mistress's, whenever we broke up, it if he dare.
I was always for joining myself with the “Sir,-After the many heavy lashes that miss who lay-in, and was constantly one of have fallen from your pen, you may justly
the first to make a party in the play of
This passion for beexpect in return all the load that my ink Husband and Wife. can lay upon your shoulders. You have ing well with the females still increased as quartered all the foul language upon me
I advanced in years. At the dancing-school that could be raked out of the air of Bil- I contracted so many quarrels by struggling linsgate, without knowing who I am, or
with my fellow-scholars for the partner whether I deserved to be cupped and sacri- liked best, that upon a ball-night, before ficed at this rate. I tell you, once for all, our mothers made their appearance, I was turn your eyes where you please, you shali usually up to the nose in blood. My father, never smell me out. Do you think that the this stage of softness to a school of disci
like a discreet man, soon removed me from panicks, which you sow about the parish; pline, where I learnt Latin and Greek. I No, sir, you may fight these battles as long underwent several severities in this place, as you will, but when you come to balance until it was thought convenient to send me the account you will find that you have been to the university: though to confess the fishing in troubled waters, and that an ignis that seat of learning, but from the disco
truth, I should not have arrived so early at fatuus hath bewildered you, and that indeed you have built upon a sandy founda- very of an intrigue between me and my tion, and brought your hogs to a fair market. master's housekeeper; upon whom I had I am, sir,
employed my rhetoric so effectually, that, though she was a very elderly lady, I had almost brought her to consent to marry me.
Upon my arrival at Oxford, I found logic No. 596.] Monday, September 20, 1714. so dry, that, instead of giving attention to
the dead, I soon fell to addressing the living.
Ovid, Ep. xv. 79. My first amour was with a pretty girl whom Cupid's light darts my tender bosom move.- Pope. I shall call Parthenope: her mother sold ale
The case of my correspondent, who sends by the town-wall. me the following letter, has somewhat in it
Being often caught there by the proctor, so very, whimsical, that I know not how to Iwas forced at last, that my mistress's repuentertain my readers better than by laying tation might receive no blemish, to confess it before them.
my addresses were honourable. Upon this
I was immediately sent home; but PartheMiddle-Temple, Sept. 18. nope soon after marrying a shoe-maker, I “Sir, I am fully convinced that there was again suffered to return. My next afis not upon earth a more impertinent crea- fair was with my tailor's daughter, who ture than an importunate lover. We are deserted me for the sake of a young barber. daily complaining of the severity of our fate Upon my complaining to one of my partito people who are wholly unconcerned in it: cular friends of this misfortune, the cruel and hourly improving a passion, which we wag made a mere jest of my calamity, and would persuade the world is the torment asked me, with a smile, where the needle of our lives. Notwithstanding this reflec- should turn but to the pole ? *. After this I tion, sir, I cannot forbear acquainting you was deeply in love with a milliner, and at with my own case. You must know, then, last with my bed-maker; upon which I was sir, that even from my childhood, the most sent away, or, in the university phrase, prevailing inclination I could perceive in rusticated for ever. myself was a strong desire to be in favour • Upon my coming home, I settled tu my with the fair-sex. I am at present in the studies so heartily, and contracted so great one-and-twentieth year of my age; and a reservedness by being kept from the should have made choice of a she-bedfellow company I most affected, that my father many years since, had not my father, who has a pretty good estate of his own getting, and passes in the world for a prudent man, is now seldom seen in the metropolis.
* A pole was the common sign of a barber's shop. It
Molle meum levibus cor est violabile telis.
thought he might venture me at the Tem- | to all manner of dangers for her sake and ple.
safety. He desires in his postscript to Within a week after my arrival I began know whether, from a constant success in to shine again, and became enamoured with them, he may not promise himself to suca mighty pretty creature, who had every ceed in her esteem at last. thing but money to recommend her. Hav- Another, who is very prolix in his naring frequent opportunities of uttering all the rative, writes me word, that having sent a soft things which a heart formed for love venture beyond sea, he took occasion one could inspire me with, I soon gained her night to fancy himself gone along with it, consent to treat of marriage; but, unfor- and grown on a sudden the richest man in tunately for us all, in the absence of my all the Indies. Having been there about a charmer I usually talked the same language year or two, a gust of wind that forced open to lier eldest sister, who is also very pretty. his casement, blew him over to his native Now I assure you, Mr. Spectator, this did country again, where, awaking at six not proceed from any real affection I had o'clock, and the change of the air not conceived for her: but, being a perfect agreeing with him, he turned to his left side stranger to the conversation of men, and in order to a second voyage; but before he strongly addicted to associate with the could get on ship-board was unfortunately women, I knew no other language but that apprehended for stealing a horse, tried and of love. I should, however, be very much condemned for the fact, and in a fair way obliged to you, if you could free me from of being executed, if somebody stepping the perplexity I am at present in. I have hastily into his chamber had not brought sent word to my old gentleman in the coun-him a reprieve. This fellow too wants try, that I am desperately in love with the Mr. Shadow's advice; who, I dare say, younger sister; and her father, who knew would bid him be content to rise after his no better, poor man, acquainted him by the first nap, and learn to be satisfied as soon same post, that I had for some time made as nature is. my addresses to the elder. Upon this old The next is a public-spirited gentleman, Testy sends me up word, that he has heard who tells me, that on the second of Sepso much of my exploits, that he intends im- tember, at night, the whole city was on fire, mediately to order me to the South-sea. and would certainly have been reduced to Sir, I have occasionally talked so uch of ashes again by this time, if he had not flown dying, that I begin to think there is not over it with the New River on his back, and much in it; and if the old 'squire persists in happily extinguished the flames before they his design, I do hereby give him notice that had prevailed too far. He would be inI am providing myself with proper instru- formed whether he has not a right to pements for the destruction of despairing tition the lord mayor and aldermen for a lovers: let him therefore look to it, and reward. consider that by his obstinacy he may him- A letter, dated September the ninth, acself lose the son of his strength, the world quaints me, that the writer, being resolved a hopeful lawyer, my mistress a passionate to try his fortune, had fasted all that day; lover, and you, Mr.' Spectator, your con- and,' that he might be sure of dreaming stant admirer,
upon something at night, procured a hand• JEREMIAH LOVEMORE.' some slice of bride-cake, which he placed
very conveniently under his pillow. In the
morning his memory happened to fail him, No. 597. ) Wednesday, September 22, 1714.
and he could recollect nothing but an odd
fancy that he had eaten his cake; which Mens sine pondere ludit. -Petr.
being found upon search reduced to a few The mind uncumber'd plays.
crumbs, he is resolved to remember more SINCE I received my friend Shadow's of his dreams another time, believing from letter, several of my correspondents have this that there may possibly be somewhat been pleased to send me an account how of truth in them. they have been employed in sleep, and what I have received numerous complaints notable adventures they have been engaged from several delicious dreamers, desiring in during that moonshine in the brain. Ime to invent some method of silencing those shall lay before my readers an abridgment noisy slaves, whose occupations lead them of some few of their extravagances, in to take their early rounds about the city in hopes that they will in time accustom a morning, doing a deal of mischief, and themselves to dream a little more to the working strange confusion in the affairs of purpose.
its inhabitants. Several monarchs have One, who styles himself Gladio, com- done me the honour to acquaint me how plains heavily that his fair one charges him often they have been shook from their rewith inconstancy, and does not use him spective thrones by the rattling of a coach, with half the kindness which the sincerity or the rumbling of a wheelbarrow. And of his passion may demand; the said Gladio many private gentlemen, I find, have been having, by valour and stratagem, put to bawled out of vast estates by fellows not death tyrants, enchanters, monsters, knights, worth three pence. A fair lady was just &c. without number, and exposed himself on the point of being married to a young,
Jur. Sat. 1. 28
handsome, rich, ingenious nobleman, when / of the audience were enjoying the benefit an impertinent tinker passing by forbid the of an excellent discourse, was losing her bans; and a hopeful youth who had been money and jewels to a gentleman at play, newly advanced to great honour and pre- until after a strange run of ill-luck she was ferment, was forced by a neighbouring cob- reduced to pawn three lovely pretty chilbler to resign all for an old song. It has dren for her last stake. When she had been represented to me, that those inconsi-thrown them away, her companion went derable rascals do nothing but go about dis- off, discovering himself by his usual tokens, solving of marriages, and spoiling of for- a cloven foot and a strong smell of brimtunes, impoverishing rich, and ruining stone, which last proved a bottle of spirits, great people, interrupting beauties in the which a good old lady applied to her nose, midst of their conquests, and generals in to put her in a condition of hearing the the course of their victories. A boisterous preacher's third head concerning time. peripatetic hardly goes through a street If a man has no mind to pass abruptly without waking half a dozen kings and from his imagined to his real circumstances, princes, to open their shops or clean shoes, he may employ himself a while in that new frequently transforming sceptres into par- kind of observation which my oneirocritical ing-shovels, and proclamations into bills. I correspondent has directed him to make of have by me a letter from a young states himself. Pursuing the imagination through man, who in five or six hours came to be all its extravagances, whether in sleeping emperor of Europe, after which he made or waking, is no improper method of corwar upon the Great Turk, routed him recting and bringing it to act in subordinahorse and foot, and was crowned lord of the tion to reason, so as to be delighted only universe in Constantinople: the conclusion with such objects as will affect it with pleaof all his successes is, that on the 12th in- sure when it is never so cool and sedate. stant, about seven in the morning, his Imperial Majesty was deposed by a chimney- No. 598.] Friday, September 24, 1714. sweeper.
On the other hand, I have epistolary tes- Jamne igitur laudas, quod de sapientibus alter timonies of gratitude from many miserable Ridebat, quoties a limine moverat unum people, who owe to this clamorous tribe Protuleratque pedem: flebat contrarius alter? frequent deliverances from great misfor
Will ye not now the pair of sages praise. tunes. A small-coal-man, by waking one Who the same end pursud by several ways? of these distressed gentlemen, saved him One pity'd, one condemn'd, the woful times, from ten years' imprisonment. An honest One laugh'd at follies, one lamented crimes. watchman, bidding aloud good-morrow to
Dryda. another, freed him from the malice of Mankind may be divided into the merry many potent enemies, and brought all their and the serious, who both of them make a designs against him to nothing. A certain very good figure in the species so long as valetudinarian confesses he has often been they keep their respective humours from cured of a sore-throat by the hoarseness of degenerating into the neighbouring exa carman, and relieved from a fit of the treme: there being a natural tendency in gout by the sound of old shoes. A noisy the one to a melancholy moroseness, and puppy, that plagued a sober gentleman all in the other to a fantastic levity. night long with his impertinence, was si- The merry part of the world are very lenced by a cinder-wench with a word amiable, while they diffuse a cheerfulness speaking
through conversation at proper seasons and Instead, therefore, of suppressing this or- on proper occasions; but, on the contrary, der of mortals, I would propose it to my a great grievance to society when they in readers to make the best advantage of their fect every discourse with insipid mirth, morning salutations. A famous Macedonian and turn into ridicule such subjects as are prince, for fear of forgetting himself in the not suited to it. For though laughter is midst of his good fortune, had a youth to looked upon by the philosophers as the wait on him every morning, and bid him property of reason, the excess of it has been remember that he was a man. A citizen, always considered as the mark of folly. who is waked by one of these eriers, may On the other side, seriousness has its regard him as a kind of remembrancer, beauty whilst it is attended with cheerfulcome to admonish him that it is time to re- ness and humanity, and does not come in turn to the circumstances he has over- unseasonably to pall the good humour of looked all the night time, to leave off those with whom we converse. fancying himself what he is not, and pre- These two sets of men, notwithstanding pare to act suitably to the condition he is they each of them shine in their respective really placed in.
characters, are apt to bear a natural averPeople may dream on as long as they sion and antipathy to one another. please, but I shall take no notice of any What is more usual than to hear men of imaginary adventures that do not happen serious tempers, and austere morals, enwhile the sun is on this side the horizon. larging upon the vanities and follies of the For which reason I stifle Fritilla's dream young and gay part of the species, while at church last Sunday, who, while the rest | they look with a kind of horror upon such