Page images

He as

lady asks for a thing, I hear, and have there be any occasion, wherein they may half brought it, when the woman meets me in themselves be supposed to be unfit to in the middle of the room to receive it, and attend their master's concerns, by reason at that instant she says, “ No she will not of any attention to their own, he is so good have it." Then I go back, and her woman as to place himself in their condition. I comes up to her, and by this time she will thought it very becoming in him, when at have that, and two or three things more, in dinner the other day, he made an apology an instant. The woman and I run to each for want of more attendants. He said, other; I am loaded and delivering the things 'One of my footmen is gone to the wedding to her, when my lady says she wants none of his sister, and the other I do not expect of all these things, and we are the dullest to wait, because his father died but two creatures in the world, and she the unhap- days ago.'

T. piest woman living, for she shall not be drest in any time. Thus we stand, not knowing what to do, when our good lady, No. 138.] Wednesday, August 8, 1711. with all the patience in the world, tells us as plain as she can speak, that she will Utitur in re non dubia testibus non necessariis. -Tull. have temper 'because we have no manner He uses unnecessary proofs in an indisputable point. of understanding; and begins again to dress, ONE meets now and then with persons and see if we can find out of ourselves what who are extremely learned and knotty in we are to do. When she is dressed she expounding clear cases. Tully tells us of goes to dinner, and after she has disliked an author that spent some pages to prove every thing there, she calls for a coach, that generals could not perform the great then commands it in again, and then she enterprises which have made them so illuswill not go out at all, and then will go too, trious, it they had not had men. and orders the chariot. Now, good Mr. serted also, it seems, that a minister at Specter, I desire you would, in the behalf home, no more than a commander abroad, of all who serve froward ladies, give out in could do any thing without other men were your paper, that nothing can be done with- his instruments and assistants. On this out allowing time for it, and that one can- occasion he produces the example of Thenot be back again with what one was sent mistocles, Pericles, Cyrus, and Alexander for, if one is called back before one can go himself, whom he denies to have been caa step for that they want. And if you pable of effecting what they did, except please, let them know that all mistresses they had been followed by others. It is are as like as all servants. I am your lov- pleasant enough to see such persons con ing friend, PATIENCE GIDDY.' tend without opponents, and triumph with

out victory. These are great calamities; but I met The author above-mentioned by the orathe other day in the Five-fields, towards tor is placed for ever in a very ridiculous Chelsea, a pleasanter tyrant than either of light, and we meet every day in conversathe above represented. A fat fellow was tion such as deserve the same kind of repuffing on in his open waistcoat; a boy of nown, for troubling those with whom they fourteen in a livery, carrying after him his converse with the like certainties. The cloak, upper coat, hat, wig, and sword. persons that I have always thought to deThe poor lad was ready to sink with the serve the highest admiration in this kind weight, and could not keep up with his are your ordinary story-tellers, who are master, who turned back every half fur- most religiously careful of keeping to the long, and wondered what made the lazy truth in every particular circumstance of young dog lag behind.

a narration, whether it concerns the main There is something very unaccountable, end or not. A gentleman whom I had the that people cannot put themselves in the honour to be in company with the other condition of the persons below them, when day, upon some occasion that he was they consider the commands they give. pleased to take, said, he remembered a But there is nothing more common than to very pretty repartee made by a very witty see a fellow (who, if he were reduced to it, man in King Charles's time upon the like would not be hired by any man living,) occasion. I remember (said he, upon enlament that he is troubled with the most tering into the tale) much about the time worthless dogs in nature.

of Oates's plot, that a cousin-german of It would, perhaps, be running too far out mine and I were at the Bear in Holborn. of common life to urge, that he who is not No, I am out, it was at the Cross-keys, master of himself and his own passions, but Jack Thomson was there, for he was cannot be a proper master of another. very great with the gentleman who made Equanimity in a man's own words and ac- the answer. But I am sure it was spoken tions, will easily diffuse itself through his somewhere thereabouts, for we drank a whole family. Pamphilio has the happiest bottle in that neighbourhood every even household of any man I know, and that ing; but no matter for all that, the thing is proceeds from the humane regard he has the same; but-' to them in their private persons, as well as He was going on to settle the geography in respect that they are his servants. If of the jest when I left the room, wondering

[ocr errors]

at this odd turn of head which can play is really no such thing as colour in nature; away its words, with uttering nothing to in a word, they can turn what little knowthe purpose, still observing its own im-ledge they have into a ready capacity of pertinences, and yet proceeding in them. raising

doubts; into a capacity of being alI do not question but he informed the rest ways frivolous and always unanswerable. of his audience, who had more patience It was of two disputants of this impertinent than I, of the birth and parentage, as well and laborious kind that the cynic said, as the collateral alliances of his family who One of these fellows is milking a ram, and made the repartee, and of him who pro- the other holds the pail.' voked him to it. It is no small misfortune to any who have

ADVERTISEMENT. a just value for their time, when this qua- • The exercises of the snuff-box, accordlity of being so very circumstantial, and ing to the most fashionable airs and mocareful to be exact, happens to show itself tions, in opposition to the exercise of the in a man whose quality obliges them to at- fan, will be taught with the best plain or tend his proofs, that it is now day, and the perfumed snuff, at Charles Lillie's, perlike. But this is augmented when the same fumer, at the corner of Beaufort-buildings, genius gets into authority, as it often does. in the Strand, and attendance given for the Nay, I have known it more than once benefit of the young merchants about the ascend the very pulpit. One of this sort Exchange for two hours every day at noon, taking it in his head to be a great admirer except Saturdays, at a toy-shop, near Garof Dr. Tillotson and Dr. Beveridge, never raway's coffee-house. There will be likefailed of proving out of these great authors wise taught the ceremony of the snuff-box, things which no man living would have de- or rules for offering snuff to a stranger, a nied him upon his own single authority. friend, or a mistress, according to the deOne day resolving to come to the point in gree of familiarity or distance; with an exhand, he said, 'according to that excellent planation of the careless, the scornful, the divine, I will enter upon the matter, or in politic, and the surly pinch, and the geshis words, in his fifteenth sermon of the tures proper to each of them. folio edition, page 160,-.

•N. B.' The undertaker does not ques“I shall briefly explain the words, and tion but in a short time to have formed a then consider the matter contained in body of regular snuff-boxes ready to meet them.”

and make head against all the regiment of This honest gentleman needed not, one fans which have been lately disciplined would think, strain his modesty so far as to and are now in motion.'

T. alter his design of entering upon the matter,' to that of 'briefly explaining.' But so it was, that he would not even be con- No. 139.] Thursday, August 9, 1711. tented with that authority, but added also the other divine to strengthen his method, ficta omnia celeriter, tanquam flosculi, decidunt, nec

Vera gloria radices agit, atque etiam propagatur. and told us, with the pious and learned simulatum potest quidquam esse diuturnum. Dr. Beveridge, page 4th of his ninth vo- True glory takes root, and even spreads: all false lume, “I shall endeavour to make it as pretences, like flowers, fall to the ground; nor can any plain as I can from the words which I have counterfeit last long. now read, wherein that purpose we

Of all the affections which attend hushall consider- This wiseacre was man life, the love of glory is the most arreckoned by the parish, who did not un- dent. According as this is cultivated in derstand him, a most excellent preacher; princes, it produces the greatest good or but that he read too much, and was so the greatest evil. Where sovereigns have humble that he did not trust enough to his it by impressions received from education own parts.

only, it creates an ambitious rather than a Next to these ingenious gentlemen, who noble mind: where it is the natural bent of argue for what nobody can deny them, are the prince's inclination, it prompts him to to be ranked a sort of people who do not in the pursuit of things truly glorious. The deed attempt to prove insignificant things, two greatest men now in Europe (according but are ever labouring to raise arguments to the common acceptation of the word with you about matters you will give up great)_are Lewis King of France, and to them without the least controversy. One Peter Emperor of Russia. As it is certain of these people told a gentleman who said that all fame does not arise from the prache saw Mr. Such-a-One go this morning tice of virtue, it is, methinks, no unpleasat nine of the clock towards the Gravel-ing amusement to examine the glory of pits: 'Sir, I must beg your pardon for that, these potentates, and distinguish that which for though I am very loth to have any dis- is empty, perishing, and frivolous, from pute with you, yet, I must take the liberty what is solid, lasting, and important. to tell you, it was nine when I saw him at Lewis of France had his infancy attendSt. James's.' When men of this genius are ed by crafty and worldly men, who made pretty far gone in learning they will put extent of territory the most glorious inyou to prove that snow is white, and when stance of power, and mistook the spreading you are upon that topic can say that there of fame for the acquisition of honour. The


young monarch's heart was by such con- grace? Who ever thought himself mean versation easily deluded into a fondness for in absolute power, till he had learned to vain-glory, and upon these unjust princi- use it? ples to form or fall in with suitable projects If we consider this wonderful person, it of invasion, rapine, murder, and all the is perplexity to know where to begin his guilts that attend war when it is unjust. encomium. "Others may, in a metaphoriAt the same time this tyranny was laid, cal or philosophical sense, be said to comsciences and arts were encouraged in the mand themselves, but this emperor is also most generous manner, as if men of higher literally under his own command. How faculties were to be bribed to permit the generous and how good was his entering massacre of the rest of the world. Every his own name as a private man in the army superstructure which the court of France he raised, that none in it might expect to built upon their first designs, which were outrun the steps with which he himself adin themselves vicious, was suitable to its vanced! By such measures this godlike false foundation. The ostentation of riches, prince learned to conquer, learned to use the vanity of equipage, shame of poverty, his conquests. How terrible has he apand ignorance of modesty, were the com- peared in battle, how gentle in victory! mon arts of life: the generous love of one Shall then the base arts of the Frenchman woman was changed into gallantry for all be held polite, and the honest labours of the sex, and friendship among men turned the Russian barbarous? No: barbarity is into commerce of interest, or mere profes- the ignorance of true honour, or placing sions. While these were the rules of life, any thing instead of it. The unjust prince perjuries in the prince, and a general cor- is ignoble and barbarous, the good prince ruption of manners in the subject, were the only renowned and glorious. mares in which France has entangled all Though men may impose upon themher neighbours.' With such false colours selves what they please by their corrupt have the eyes of Lewis been enchanted, imaginations, truth will ever keep its stafrom the debauchery of his early youth, to tion; and as glory is nothing else but the the superstition of his present old age. shadow of virtue, it will certainly disapHence it is, that he has the patience to pear at the departure of virtue. But how have statues erected to his prowess, his carefully ought the true notions of it to be valour, his fortitude, and in the softness preserved, and how industrious should we and luxury of a court to be applauded for be to encourage any impulses towards it! magnanimity and enterprise in military The Westminster school-boy that said the achievements.

other day he could not sleep or play for Peter Alexovitz of Russia, when he the colours in the hall,* ought to be free came to years of manhood, though he from receiving a blow for ever. found himself emperor of a vast and nu- But let us consider what is truly glorious merous people, master of an endless terri- according to the author I have to-day tory, absolute commander of the lives and quoted in the front of my paper. fortunes of his subjects, in the midst of this The perfection of glory, says Tully, conunbounded power and greatness, turned his sists in these three particulars; “That the thoughts upon himself and people with sor- people love us; that they have confidence now. Sordid ignorance and a brute manner in us; that being affected with a certain of life, this generous prince beheld and con- admiration towards us, they think we detemned, from the light of his own genius. serve honour.' This was spoken of greatHis judgment suggested this to him, and his ness in a commonwealth. But if one were courage prompted him to amend it. In to form a notion of consummate glory order to this, he did not send to the nation under our constitution, one must add to the from whence the rest of the world has bor-above-mentioned felicities a certain necesrowed its politeness, but himself left his sary in existence, and disrelish of all the diadem to learn the true way to glory and rest, without the prince's favour. He honour, and application to useful arts, should, methinks, have riches, power, howherein to employ the laborious, the sim- nour, command, and glory; but riches, ple, the honest part of his people. Me- power, honour, command, and glory, chanic employments and operations were should have no charms, but as accompavery justly the first objects of his favour nied with the affection of his prince. He and observation. With this glorious in- should, methinks, be popular because a tention he travelled into foreign nations in favourite, and a favourite because popular. an obscure manner, above receiving little Were it not to make the character too honours where he sojourned, but prying imaginary, I would give him sovereignty into what was of more consequence, their over some foreign territory, and make him arts of peace and of war. By this means has esteem that an empty addition without the this great prince laid the foundation of a kind regards of his own prince. One may great and lasting fame, by personal labour, merely have an idea of a man thus compersonal knowledge, personal valour. It would be injury to any of antiquity to name Blenheim, in 1704, were fixed up in Westminster hali

* The colours taken by the Duke of Marlborough at them with him. Who, but himself, ever after having been carried in procession through ile left a throne to learn to sit in it with more city.

posed and circumstantiated, and if he were | wish you would take some other opportuso made for power without a capacity of nity to express further the corrupt taste giving jealousy, he would be also glorious the age has run into; which I am chiefly without the possibility of receiving dis- apt to attribute to the prevalency of a few grace. This humility and this importance popular authors, whose merit in some remust make his glory immortal.

spects has given a sanction to their faults These thoughts are apt to draw me be- in others. Thus the imitators of Milton yond the usual length of this paper; but if seem to place all the excellency of that sort I could suppose such rhapsodies could out, of writing either in the uncouth or antique live the common fate of ordinary things, I words, or something else which was highly would say these sketches and faint images vicious, though pardonable in that great of glory were drawn in August, 1711, when man. The admirers of what we call point, John Duke of Marlborough made that me- or turn, look upon it as the particular hapmorable march wherein he took the French piness to which Cowley, Ovid, and others, lines without bloodshed.

T. owe their reputation, and therefore endea

vour to imitate them only in such instances.

What is just, proper, and natural, does not No. 140.] Friday, August 10, 1711,

. seem to be the question with them, but by

what means a quaint antithesis may be - Animum curis nunc huc, nunc dividit illuc. brought about, how one word may be made

Virg. Æn. iv. 285.

to look two ways, and what will be the conThis way and that the anxious mind is torn.

sequence of a forced allusion. Now though When I acquaint my reader, that I have such authors appear to me to resemble many other letters not yet acknowledged, those who make themselves fine, instead I believe he will own, what I have a mind of being well-dressed, or graceful; yet the he should believe, that I have no small mischief is, that these beauties in them, charge upon me, but am a person of some which I call blemishes, are thought to proconsequence in this world. I shall there- ceed from luxuriance of fancy, and overfore employ the present hour only in read flowing of good sense. In one word, they ing petitions in the order as follows.

have the character of being too witty: but

if you would acquaint the world they are Mr. SPECTATOR,-I have lost so much not witty at all, you would, among many time already, that I desire, upon the re- others, oblige, sir, your most benevolent ceipt hereof, you will sit down immediately reader,

R. D.' and give me your answer. And I would know of you whether a pretender of mine

'SIR,_I am a young woman, and reckonreally loves me. As well as I can I will

ed pretty; therefore you will pardon me describe his manners. When he sees me

that I trouble you to decide a wager beis always talking of constancy, but vouch-tween me and a cousin of mine, who is alsafes to visit me but once a fortnight, and ways contradicting one because he underthen he is always in haste to be gone with a single or a double p? I am, sir,

stands Latin: pray, sir, is Dimple spelt When I am sick, I hear he says he is mightily concerned, but neither comes nor sends, your very humble servant,

· BETTY SAUNTER.' because, as he tells his acquaintance with a sigh, he does not care to let me know all • Pray, sir, direct thus, “To the kind the power I have over him, and how im- Querist," and leave it at Mr. Lillie's, for I possible it is for him to live without me. do not care to be known in the thing at all. When he leaves the town he writes once I am, sir, again, your humble servant,' in six weeks, desires to hear from me,

*MR. SPECTATOR,-I must needs tell complains of the torment of absence, speaks of flames, tortures, languishings, and ecsta- you there are several of your papers I do sies. He has the cant of an impatient lover, is no enduring you; and so learned, there is no

not much like. You are often so nice, there but keeps the pace of a lukewarm one. You know I must not go faster than he with our petticoats? Your humble servant,

understanding you. What have you to do does, and to move at this rate is as tedious

PARTHENOPE.' as counting a great clock. But you are to know he is rich, and my mother says, as he "MR. SPECTATOR,—Last night, as I is slow he is sure; he will love me long if he was walking in the Park, I met a couple love me little: but I appeal to you whether of friends. “Pr’ythee, Jack,” says one of he loves at all. Your neglected humble them, “let us go drink a glass of wine, for servant,

LYDIA NOVELL.' I am fit for nothing else.' This put me • All these fellows who have money are upon reflecting on the many miscarriages extremely saucy and cold; pray, sir, tell which happen in conversations over wine, them of it.'

when men go to the bottle to remove such

humours as it only stirs up and awakens. MR. SPECTATOR, I have been delight- This I could not attribute more to any ed with nothing more through the whole thing than to the humour of putting comcourse of your writings than the substantial pany upon others which men do not like account you lately gave of wit, and I could themselves. Pray, sir, declare in your

[ocr errors]

papers, that he who is a troublesome com- sent ignorance, may be thought a good panion to himself, will not be an agreeable presage and earnest of improvement, you one to others. Let people reason them- may look upon your time you shall bestow selves into good humour, before they im- in answering this request not thrown away pose themselves upon their friends. Pray, to no purpose. And I cannot but add, sir, be as eloquent as you can upon this that unless you have a particular and more subject, and do human life so much good, than ordinary regard for Leonora, I have as to argue powerfully, that it is not every a better title to your favour than she: since one that can swallow who is fit to drink I do not content myself with tea-table reada glass of wine. Your most humble ser-ing of your papers, but it is my entertainvant.'

ment very often when alone in my closet. “Sir,-) this morning cast my eye upon and hate flattery, I acknowledge I do not

To show you I am capable of improvement, your paper concerning the expence of time. like some of your papers; but even there I You are very obliging to the women, espe- am readier to call in question my own shalcially those who are not young and past low understanding than Mr. Spectator's gallantry, by touching so gently upon gam: profound judgment. I am sir, your already wrong to employ a little leisure time in that and in hopes of being more your) obliged


PARTHENIA.' diversion; but I should be glad to hear you say something upon the behaviour of some

This last letter is written with so urgent of the female gamesters.

and serious an air, that I cannot but think “I have observed ladies, who in all other it incumbent upon me to comply with her respects are gentle, good-humoured, and commands, which I shall do very suddenly. the very pinks of good-breeding; who as

T. soon as the ombre-table is called for and sit down to their business, are immediately transmigrated into the veriest wasps in No. 141.] Saturday, August 11, 1711. nature. * You must know I keep my temper,

-Migravit ab aure voluptas

Hor. Lib. 1. Ep. ii. 187. and win their money; but am out of coun

Taste, that eternal wanderer, that flies tenance to take it, it makes them so very From heads to ears, and now from ears to eyes. uneasy. Be pleased, dear sir, to instruct

Pope. them to lose with a better grace, and you In the present emptiness of the town, I will oblige, Yours, • RACHEL BASTO.'

have several applications from the lower

part of the players, to admit suffering to MR. SPECTATOR,-Your kindness to pass for acting. They in very obliging Leonora, in one of your papers, has given terms desire me to let a fall on the ground, me encouragement to do myself the honour a stumble, or a good slap on the back, be of writing to you. The great regard you reckoned a jest. These gambols I shall have so often expressed for the instruction tolerate for å season, because I hope the and improvement of our sex will I hope, in evil cannot continue longer than until the your own opinion, sufficiently excuse me people of condition and taste return to from making any apology for the imperti- town. The method some time ago, was to nence of this letter. The great desire I entertain that part of the audience, who have to embellish my mind with some of have no faculty above eye-sight, with ropethose graces which you say are so becom- dancers and tumblers; which was a way ing, and which you assert reading helps us discreet enough, because it prevented conto, has made me uneasy until I am put in a fusion, and distinguished such as could capacity of attaining them. This, sir, I show all the postures which the body is shall never think myself in, until you shall capable of, from those who were to reprebe pleased to recommend some author or sent all the passions to which the mind is authors to my perusal.

subject. But though this was prudently 'I thought, indeed, when I first cast my settled, corporeal and intellectual actors eye on Leonora's letter, that I should have ought to be kept at a still wider distance had no occasion for requesting it of you; than to appear on the same stage at all: but, to my very great concern, I found on for which reason I must propose some the perusal of that Spectator, I was en- methods for the improvement of the beartirely disappointed, and am as much at a garden, by dismissing all bodily actors to loss how to make use

of my time for that that quarter. end as ever. Pray, sir, oblige me at least In cases of greater moment, where men with one scene, as you were pleased to en- appear in public, the consequence and imcertain Leonora with your prologue. Il portance of the thing can bear them out. write to you not only my own sentiments, And though a pleader or preacher is hoarse but also those of several others of my ac- or awkward, the weight of their matter quaintance, who are as little pleased with commands respect and attention; but in the ordinary manner of spending one's time theatrical speaking, if the performer is not as myself; and if a fervent desire after exactly proper and graceful, he is utterly knowledge, and a great sense of our pre- / ridiculous. In cases where there is little

« PreviousContinue »