Into a pit of ink! that the wide sea Hath drops too few to wash her clean again; And salt too little, which may season give To her foul tainted flesh! Bene. Sir, sir, be patient : Beat. O, on my soul, my cousin is belied! Leon. Confirm'd, confirm'd! O, that is stronger For I have only been silent so long, If this sweet lady lie not guiltless here Leon. Friar, it cannot be : Thou seest, that all the grace that she hath left, Is, that she will not add to her damnation A sin of perjury; she not denies it: Why seek'st thou then to cover with excuse That which appears in proper nakedness? [none: Friar. Lady, what man is he you are accus'd of? Hero. They know, that do accuse me; I know If I know more of any man alive, Than that which maiden modesty doth warrant, Let all my sins lack mercy!-Ő my father, Prove you that any man with me convers'd At hours unmeet, or that I yesternight Maintain'd the change of words with any creature, Refuse me, hate me, torture me to death. [princes. Friar. There is some strange misprision in the Bene. Two of them have the very bent of honour; And if their wisdoms be misled in this, The practice of it lives in John the bastard, Whose spirits toil in frame of villanies. Leon. I know not; If they speak but truth of her, Nor fortune made such havoc of my means, Friar. Pause a while, And publish it that she is dead indeed. Leon. What shall become of this? What will this do? Friar. Marry, this, well carried, shall on her boChange slander to remorse; that is some good; [half But not for that, dream 1 on this strange course, But on this travail look for greater birth. She dying, as it must be so maintain'd, Upon the instant that she was accus'd, Shall be lamented, pitied, and excus'd, Of every hearer: For it so falls out, That what we have we prize not to the worth, Whiles we enjoy it; but being lack'd and lost, Why, then we rack the value, then we find The virtue, that possession would not shew us Whiles it was ours: So will it fare with Claudio: When he shall hear she died upon his words, The idea of her life shall sweetly creep Into his study of imagination; And every lovely organ of her life Shall come apparell'd in more precious habit, Than when she lived indeed :-then shall he mourn, Bene. Signior Leonato, let the 'friar advise you Leon. Being that I flow in grief, The smallest twine may lead me. Friar. 'Tis well consented; presently away; For to strange sores strangely they strain the Come, lady, die to live: this wedding day, [cure.Perhaps, is but prolong'd; have patience, and endure. [Exeunt Friar, HERO, and LEONATO. Bene. Lady Beatrice, have you wept all this while? Beat. Yea, and I will weep awhile longer. Bene. I will not desire that. Beat. You have no reason, I do it freely. Bene. Surely, I do believe your fair cousin is wrong'd. Beat. Ah, how much might the man deserve of me that would right her. Bene. Is there any way to shew such friendship? Beat. It is a man's office, but not yours. Bene. I do love nothing in the world so well as you; Is not that strange? Beat. As strange as the thing I know not: It were as possible for me to say, I loved nothing so well as you: but believe me not; and yet I lie not; I confess nothing, nor I deny nothing:-I am sorry for my cousin. Bene. By my sword, Beatrice, thou lovest me. Beut. Do not swear by it, and eat it. Bene. I will swear by it, that you love me; and i will make him eat it, that says, I love not yon. Beat. Will you not eat your word? Dogb. Yea, marry, let them come before me.Bene. With no sauce that can be devised to it: I What is your name, friend? protest, I love thee. Beat. Why then, God forgive me! Bene. What offence, sweet Beatrice ? Beat. You have staid me in a happy hour; I was about to protest I loved you. Bene. And do it with all thy heart. Con. I am a gentleman, sir, and my name is Conrade. Dogb. Write down-master gentleman Conrade Beat. I love you with so much of my heart that Masters, do you serve God? none is left to protest. Bene. Come, bid me do any thing for thee. Beat. Kill Claudio. Bene. Ha! not for the wide world. Beat. You kill me to deny it: Farewell. Bene. Tarry, sweet Beatrice. Con. Bora. Yea, sir, we hope. Dogb. Write down-that they hope they serve God:--and write God first; for God defend but God should go before such villains!-Masters, it is proved already that you are little better than false knaves; and it will go near to be thought so shortly. Beat. I am gone, though I am here;-There is no How answer you for yourselves. love in you :-Nay, I pray you, let me go. Bene. Beatrice, Beat. In faith, I will go. Bene. We'll be friends first. Con. Marry, sir, we say we are none. Dogb. A marvellous witty fellow, I assure you, but I will go about with him.-Come you hither, sirrah; a word in your ear, sir; I say to you, it is Beat. You dare easier be friends with me, than thought you are false knaves. fight with mine enemy: Bene. Is Claudio thine enemy? Beat. Is he not approved in the height a villain, that hath slandered, scorned, dishonoured my kinswoman?-O, that I were a man!-What! bear her n hand until they come to take hands; and then with public accusation, uncovered slander, unmitigated rancour.-O God, that I were a man! I would eat his heart in the market-place. Bene. Hear me, Beatrice ; Bora. Sir, I say to you, we are none. Dogb. Well, stand aside.-'Fore God, they are both in a tale: Have you writ down-that they are none Serton. Master constable, you go not the way to examine; you must call forth the watch that are their accusers. Dogb. Yea, marry, that's the eftest way :-Let the watch come forth :-Masters, I charge you, in the prince's name, accuse these men. 1 Watch. This man said, sir, that Don John, the Beat. Talk with a man out at a window?—a pro- prince's brother, was a villain. per saying. Bene. Nay but, Beatrice; Beat. Sweet Hero!-she is wronged, she is slandered, she is undone. Bene. Beat Beat. Princes, and counties? Surely, a princely testimony, a goodly count confect; a sweet gallant, surely! O that I were a man for his sake! or that I had any friend would be a man for my sake! But manhood is melted into courtesies, valour into compliment, and men are only turned into tongue, and trim ones too: he is now as valiant as Hercules, that only tells a lie, and swears it:-I cannot be a man with wishing, therefore I will die a woman with grieving. Bene. Tarry, good Beatrice: By this hand, I love thee. Beat. Use it for my love some other way than swearing by it. Bene. Think you in your soul the count Claudio hath wronged Hero? Beat. Yea, as sure as I have a thought, or a soul. Bene. Enough, I am engaged, I will challenge him; I will kiss your hand, and so leave you: By this hand, Claudio shall render me a dear account: As you hear of me, so think of me. Go, comfort your cousin: I must say, she is dead; and so, farewell. [Exeunt. SCENE II-A Prison. Enter DOGBERRY, VERGES, and Sexton, in gowns; Sexton. But which are the offenders that are to be examined? let them come before master constable. Dogb. Write down-prince John a villain :-Why this is flat perjury, to call a prince's brother-villain. Bora. Master constable, Dogb. Pray thee, fellow, peace: I do not like thy look, I promise thee. Sexton. What heard you him say else? 2 Watch. Marry, that he had received a thousand ducats of Don John, for accusing the lady Hero wrongfully. Dogb. Flat burglary, as ever was committed. 1 Watch. And that count Claudio did mean, upon his words, to disgrace Hero before the whole assembly, and not marry her. Dogb. O villain! thou wilt be condemned into everlasting redemption for this. Sexton. What else? 2 Watch. This is all. Dogb. God's my life! where's the sexton? let him write down-the prince's officer, coxcomb.-Coine, bind them: -Thou naughty varlet! Con. Away! you are an ass, you are an ass. Dogb. Dost thou not suspect my place? Dost thou not suspect my years :-O that he were here to write me down-an ass! but, masters, remember, that I am an ass; though it be not written down, yet forget not that I am an ass :-No, thou villain, thou art full of piety, as shall be proved upon thee by good witness. I am a wise fellow; and, which is more an officer; and, which is more, a householder; and, which! is more, as pretty a piece of flesh as any is in Messina; and one that knows the law, go to; and a rich fellow enough, go to; and a fellow that hath had losses; and one that hath two gowns, and every thing handsome about him :-Bring him away. O, that I [Exeunt. had been writ down-an ass! ACT V. SCENE I.-Before Leonato's House. Enter LEONATO and ANTONIO. Ant. If you go on thus, you will kill yourself; Leon. But such a one whose wrongs do suit with mine. Measure his woe the length and breadth of mine, But there is no such man: For, brother, men Ant. Therein do men from children nothing differ. Ant. Yet bend not all the harm upon yourself; Enter Don PEDRO and CLAUDIO. Ant. Here comes the prince, and Claudio, hastily. Good day to both of you. Leon. Hear you, my lords,— Are you so hasty now?—well, all is one. [man. D. Pedro. Nay, do not quarrel with us, good old Ant. If he could right himself with quarrelling, Some of us would lie low. Claud. 145 Who wrongs him? Marry, Thou, thou dost wrong me; thou dissembler, thou :- What I have done being young, or what would do, I say, thou hast belied mine innocent child; Leon. Thine, Claudio; thine I say. My lord, my lord. I'll prove it on his body, if he dare; my child; If thou kill'st me, boy, thou shalt kill a man. Leon. Brother, [niece: [yea, Ant. Content yourself: God knows, I lov'd my Leon. But, brother Antony,- Come, 'tis no matter; I will not hear you. Come, brother, away :-I will be heard ;- Or some of us will smart for it. . And shall, [Exeunt LEONATO and ANTONIO Enter BENEDIck. D. Pedro. See, see; here comes the man we went Claud. Now, signior! what news? D. Pedro. Welcome, signior: You are almost come to part almost a fray. Cland. We had liked to have had our two noses snapped off with two old men without teeth. D. Pedro. Leonato and his brother: What think'st thou? Had we fought, I doubt, we should have been too young for them. Bene. In a false quarrel there is no true valour : I came to seek you both. Claud. We have been up and down to seek thee; for we are high proof melancholy, and would fain have it beaten away: Wilt thou use thy wit? Bene. It is in my scabbard; Shall I draw it? D. Pedro. Dost thou wear thy wit by thy side? Claud. Never any did so, though very many have been beside their wit.-I will bid thee draw, as we do the minstrels; draw, to pleasure us. D. Pedro. As I am an honest man, he looks pale: --Art thou sick, or angry? Claud. What! courage, man! What though care killed a cat, thou hast mettle enough in thee to kill care. Bene Sir, I shall meet your wit in the career, an you charge it against me:-I pray you, choose another subject. Claud. Nay, then give him another staff; this last was broke cross. D. Pedro. By this light, he changes more and more Claud. If he be, he knows how to turn his girdle. Bene. Shall I speak a word in your ear? Claud. God bless me from a challenge! Bene. You are a villain ;-I jest not-I will make it good how you dare, with what you dare, and when you dare :-Do me right, or I will protest your cowardice. You have killed a sweet lady, and her death shall fall heavy on you: Let me hear from you. Claud. Well, I will meet you, so I may have good cheer D. Pedro. What a feast? a feast? Claud. I'faith, I thank him; he hath bid me to a calf's head and a capon, the which if I do not carve most curiously, say, my knife's naught.—Shall I not find a woodcock too? Bene. Sir, your wit ambles well; it goes easily. D Pedro. I'll tell thee how Beatrice praised thy wit the other day: I said, thou hadst a fine wit; True, says she, a fine little one: No, said I, a great wit; Right, says she, a great gross one: Nay, said 1, a good wit; Just, said she, it hurts nobody: Nay, said I, the gentlemen is wise; Certain, said she, a wise gentleman: Nay, said I, he hath the tongues; That I believe, said she, for he swine a thing to me on Monday night, which he fo-swore on Tuesday morning; there's a double tongue; there's two tongues. Thus did she, an hour together, transshape thy particular virtues; yet, at last, she concluded with a sigh, thou wast the properest man in Italy. Claud. For the which she wept heartily, and said, she cared not. D. Pedro. Yea, that she did; but yet, for all that, an if she did not hate him deadly, she would love him dearly the old man's daughter told us all. Claud. Ali, all; and moreover, God saw him when he was hid in the garden. D. Pedro. But when shall we set the savage bull's horns on the sensible Benedick's head? Claud Yea, and text underneath, Here dwells Benedick the married man? Bene. Fare you well, boy! you know my mind; I will leave you now to your gossip-like humors, you break jests as braggarts do their blades, which, God be thanked, hurt not.-My lord, for your many courtesies I thank you: I must discontinue your company: your brother, the bastard, is fled from Messina: you have, among you, killed a sweet and innocent lady: For my lord Lack-beard, there, he and I shall meet; and till then, peace be with him. [Eait BENEDICK. D. Pedro. He is in earnest. D. Pedro. And hath challenged thee? D. Pedro. What a pretty thing man is, when he Claud. He is then a giant to an ape: but then is an ape a doctor to such a man. D. Pedro. But, soft you, let be; pluck up, my heart, and be sad' Did he not say, my brother was fled ? Dogh. Come, you, sir; if justice cannot tame you, she shall ne'er weigh more reasons in her balance: nay, an you be a cursing hypocrite once, you must be looked to. D. Pedro. How now, two of my brother's men bound! Borachio, one! Claud. Hearken after their offence, my lord! D. Pedro. Officers, what offence have these men done? Dogb. Marry, sir, they have committed false report; moreover, they have spoken untruths; secondarily, they are slanders; sixth and lastly, they have belied a lady; thirdly, they have verified unjust things: and, to conclude, they are lying knaves. D. Pedro. First, I ask thee what they have done ; thirdly, I ask thee what's their offence; sixth and lastly, why they are committed: and, to conclude what you lay to their charge? Claud. Rightly reasoned, and in his own division; and, by my troth, there's one meaning well suited. D. Pedro. Whom have you offended, masters, that you are thus bound to your answer? this learned constable is too cunning to be understood: What's your offence? Bora. Sweet prince, let me go no further to mine answer; do you hear me, and let this count kill me. I have deceived even your very eyes: what your wisdoms could not discover, these shallow fools have brought to iight; who, in the night, overheard me confessing to this man, how Don John your brother incensed me to slander the lady Hero; how you were brought into the orchard, and saw me court Margaret in Hero's garments; how you disgraced her, when you should marry her my villany they have upon record; which I had rather seal with my death, than repeat over to my shame the lady is dead upon mine and my master's false accusation; and, briefly, I desire nothing but the reward of a villain. D. Pedro. Runs not this speech like iron through your blood? Claud. I have drunk poison, whiles he uttered it. [chery: Dogb. Come, bring away the plaintiffs; by this tame our Sexton hath reformed sigrior Leonato of the matter: And masters, do not forget to specify, when time and place shall serve, that I am an ass. Verg. Here, here comes master signior Leonato, and the Sexton too. Re-enter LEONATO and ANTONIO, with the Sexton. Leon. Which is the villain? Let me see his eyes; That when I note another man like him, I may avoid him : Which of these is he? Bora. If you would know your wronger, look on me. Leon. Art thou the slave, that with thy breath hast Mine innocent child? [kill'd Leon. No, not so, villain; thou bely'st thyself; Here stand a pair of honourable men, A third is fled, that had a hand in it :— I thank you, princes, for my daughter's death; But in mistaking. D. Pedro. By my soul, nor I; And yet, to satisfy this good old man, Leon. I cannot bid you bid my daughter live, And sing it to her bones; sing it to-night :- Give her the right you should have given her cousin, Cland. O, noble sir, Your over kindness doth wring tears from me! For henceforth of poor Claudio. Leon. To-morrow then I will expect your coming; To-night I take my leave.-This naughty man Shall face to face be brought to Margaret, Who, I believe, was pack'd in all this wrong, Hir'd to it by your brother. Bora. No, by my soul, she was not; Nor knew not what she did, when she spoke to me; But always hath been just and virtuous, In any thing that I do know by her. Dogh. Moreover, sir, (which, indeed, is not under white and black,) this plaintiff here, the offender, did call me ass: I beseech you, let it be remembered in his punishment: And also, the watch heard them talk of one Deformed: they say, he wears a key in his ear, and a lock hanging by it; and borrows inoney in God's name; the which he hath used so long, and never paid, that now men grow hard hearted. and will lend nothing for God's sake: Pray you, examine him upon that point. Leon. I thank thee for thy care and honest pains. Dagh. Your worship speaks like a most thankful and reverend youth; and I praise God for you. Lem. There's for thy pains. Dogb. God save the foundation! Leon. Go, I discharge thee of thy prisoner, and [thank thee. Dogb. I leave an arrant knave with your worship; which, I beseech your worship, to correct yourself, for the example of others. God keep your worship; I wish your worship well; God restore you to health: I humbly give you leave to depart; and if a merry meeting may be wished, God prohibit it.-Come neighbour. [Exeunt DOGBERRY, VERGES, and Watch. Leon. Until to-morrow morning, lords, farewell. Ant. Farewell, my lords; we look for you toD. Pedro. We will not fail. [morrow. Claud. To night I'll mourn with Hero. [Exeunt Don PEDRO and CLAUDIO. Leon. Bring you these fellows on; we'll talk with Margaret, How her acquaintance grew with this lewd fellow. Marg. Will you then write me a sonnet in praise of my beauty! Bene. In so high a style. Margaret, that no man living shall come over it; for, in most comely truth, thou deservest it. Marg. To have no man come over me? why, shall I always keep below stairs ? Bene. Thy wit is as quick as the greyhound's mouth, it catches. Murg. And your's as blunt as the fencer's foils, which hit, but hurt not. Bene. A most manly wit, Margaret, it will not hurt a woman; and so, I pray thee, call Beatrice : I give thee the bucklers. Marg. Give us the swords, we have bucklers of I mean, in singing; but in loving. Leander the good swimmer, Troilus the first employer of panders, and a whole book full of these quondam carpetmongers, whose names yet run smoothly in the even road of a blank verse, why, they were never so truly turned over and over as my poor self, in love: Marry, I cannot shew it in rhyme; I have tried; I can find out no rhyme to lady but baby, an innocent rhyme; for scorn, horn, a hard rhyme; for school, fool, a babbling rhyme; very ominous endings: No, I was not born under a rhyming planet, nor 1 cannot woo in festival terms. Enter BEATRICE. Sweet Beatrice, would'st thou come when I called thee! Beat. Yea, signior, and depart when you bid me. Bene. O, stay but till then! Beat. Then, is spoken; fare you well now :and yet, ere I go, let me go with that I came for, which is, with knowing what hath passed between you and Claudio. |