Dear Madam, LETTER IV. TO A WIFE. 6 I can't but feel a diffidence in writing to a minister's wife, though she be much younger than myself; for to this class of ladies my feelings are accustomed to bow with deference and respect. But yourself and husband have invited me to write, and I comply. You have also furnished me with a subject, which, by the blessing of God, I hope may benefit us both. You recollect you said to me, when speaking of the important station in which Providence had lately placed you, Tell me every thing; tell me how to discharge the duties of a WIFE, and of a Christian. This was not all; you made me promise upon both of these points to be particular: and now I can't go back, although the subject demands a far abler pen than mine, and much longer time than this evening can afford. "What a thing it is to promise!" Truly the promise of faithfulness has gone out of my lips. I am aware, Mrs. A-, that to particularize the duties of a WIFE, is not only an arduous task, "but very 14 subject. O how I wish to see it handled with a master's hand! I shall try to say what I think is, and what is not, the duty of every wife to a kind and affectionate husband, and then speak of those greater obligations due to the public minister, who holds the near and dear relation of husband. We so much oftener see what is wrong than what is right, I will first tell what words and actions always appear sinful and disgusting in a wife. I will endeavour to look at her steadily, from sunrise till evening, and make my observations accordingly. I will introduce myself to her by saying, Every one takes the liberty to judge for himself, whether" yielding hands find blessings twisted with their bands." Love and hatred, and indifference, are so far from each other, that they may readily be distinguished. A woman who can easily and often frown at her husband, and always be reproaching him, and who never appears less happy than when in his society, may with much reason be suspected that her love and obedience are not sincere, though she may compliment him ever so much while absent, and shed many tears for his safe return. Neither smiles at his approach, sighs at his departure, anxiety in his sickness, lamentation at his death, nor love for his children, nor all these combined, would afford any thing more than circumstantial evidence of her conjugal affection. To have positive proof of mutual love, I would only be present with the happy pair a few days, no sooner. and have their eyes closed from beholding me. The ordinary scenes of domestic life should surround them; the usual pleasures and the usual perplexities of the married state. As I said before, I will suppose myself unobserved, yet observing the wife intently all the live-long day; watching every expression of her eye. and all her varied tones and gestures. There! I behold her now! (and hear her clock striking 6 in the morning.) Mrs. R is now alone with her companion, reprimanding him for rising From her deep-drawn scowl and elevated voice, you would think she was scolding a slothful servant. She seems to consider herself the master, instead of the mistress of the house. How ridiculous to be continually teasing him, who has blessed her with his love, and on whose labour she is dependent for the support of herself and her children. Supposing that he does not exactly as he should, will a fretful, worrying, sour temper be likely to soften his disposition and improve his conduct, so effectually as gentle words and actions? Mr. R has now left the house; he looked part of the time vexed, and part of the time grieved, but said nothing. I pitied the poor man. I suppose he hears a similar song every morning. Always too warm or too cold, too much or too little, too sweet or loo sour, too weak or too strong, too early or too late, too still or too noisy. How unlike that tender strain of Cowper's, "Domestic happiness! sole bliss of Paradise, that has survived the fall." The black boy is now in the room, receiving the same condemnation for being no earlier risen, and for waiting his master's call, who ought to have slept another hour after such fatigue as he suffered the day before. Mr. R-- has been up to the meat market already, and is charged with selecting the poorest piece on purpose, and paying the highest price that ever was. But now, as he has stepped out of the room, she appears highly pleased, and, did she know I was so near, would call him the best provider in the world. O this trifling with the feelings of relatives must be a great sin in His sight who says, "Be kindly affectioned one towards another." The family with their visitors are now called to breakfast, and I will step unseen into the dining room, to learn if any love is there. Can it be, is it possible, that this pleasant, this beautiful woman, who presides so gracefully at the table, is the same who, a minute before, gave her husband a pestiferous and heart-chilling frown, merely because she must wait upon his company! She at present is apparently delighted, and substitutes for the short no and yes, (to her beloved,) sir and my dear. The cloth is now re moved, and the strangers only remain in the 'room with the smiling WIFE. They think this the happiest family they ever visited. So hastily and so wrong we are all inclined to judge. Mr. R is the favourite theme with the loving wife, and their happy union the congratulation of surrounding friends. Mrs. R--- must now excuse herself to attend to her domestic concerns, and I will follow her wherever she goes. The mask is left in the drawing room, where it is mistaken for amiable character; in truth 'tis total depravity. I wish the company could take a peep at her now. They would not even know her. She looks ten years older than she did half an hour ago; and every time her husband comes in, I should think she tried to mortify and pain him, did I not know she had voluntarily chosen him, before all others, as the companion of her days, and the object of her tenderest affection. When she enjoys more favoured hours, and feels in a pleasanter mood, she manifests no hearty desire to entertain this nearest of all relatives; but is continually provoking him, and counting over her family trials, and hinting suspicions of his love; as well she may, for love, and love only, is the loan for love." 66 "Nor let the cruel fetters bind |